| Miss_HondaRTS | 03-25-2004 09:29 PM |
haha i got this in an email... most of it refers to the U.S but rather humorous!
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~Thank God so many of you included me in your quest to keep me informed! Thanks to all of you: ~
*I learned that it was regaining his lost face that inspired Mel Gibson to make his film, The Passion.
* I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
*I stopped forwarding emails after I learned about the 5 cents per email sent tax Congress was going to impose. Whew, my bill last year would have been $11,239.85. (U.S)
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS
*I now keep my car windows closed all the time even though my air conditioning is defunct. I would rather sweat than have psychopathic youth throw fire bombs into my windows,
* I smell like crap, but thank God I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks, for fear that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
*Despite the new tax on email, I did spend 75 cents to mail out 15 emails in 15 minutes. I did not want to the 6th to die for failure to do the bidding of the malicious genius hacker to created the evil program.
* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogen they contain may turn me gay.
*Two things about the local mall. I won't let my wife go there and be molested. And I certainly did not accept help when I had a flat tire in the mall. The guy who smiled and offered was a look-alike for an employee of the Sears Garage in the mall, but I knew better than risk being robbed by a clever ruse.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* When I go to parties, I now don't look at any girl/guy no matter how hot he/she is, for fear that they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. That poor sick girl that was about to die in the hospital. Funny thing, she never seems to get any older ..
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made, expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
It's weird, though that my new free cell phone never arrived, and neither did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland.
But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.
Now I am ready for the fine education I will receive from Democrat and GOP political ads on t-v...
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next ten seconds, a bird will shit on you today at 7:00 pm. | 