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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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03-27-2022, 08:41 PM
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#25176 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
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Originally Posted by Mr.Money  i don't know why people put so much pressure on being in a relationship.
some of these skinny perfect Instagram models be like "fuck all that i have passive income from this. focus on my life and career for the next chapter".
done. plain and simple. | we do see a lot of asian models / actresses who focused their life around career and realize they were not able to date anyone / get married after 35.
It's very uncommon for those to get married with kids (specifically in hk / pop stars) and I read tons of their interviews on how they wished their lives were a bit different in their 30s.
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03-28-2022, 05:58 PM
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#25177 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
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Originally Posted by GS8 While growing up, I remember asking myself if I wanted more time or more money in my life.
Now that I'm even older, I find myself asking if I want to exist or if I want to live. | I get that feeling, then I hop in the S2000 and life isn't so bad lol
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03-28-2022, 10:57 PM
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#25178 | | My homepage has been set to RS
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Wow, didn't think I'd ever be writing a post here but here I am.
Long story short, been long-distance for an inordinate amount of time. Separated initially mainly due to covid, then ongoing border controls. We haven't seen each other since 2020. The GF is finally returning pretty soon but things have seemingly markedly shifted in the last few months.
I think the feelings on the other end, or rather can feel and sense that things have changed. For sure the lack of physical touch and just being not being in the same time zone or experiencing life together has had its detriment as can be expected. Daily video chats and calls were the norm but then last month its been, a scheduling conflict here or an inconvenience that prevented that. And then it just sort of became the norm to not have them at all. We're far too old and have never been the type to be playing games, so its not that. I'm of the thinking that, you make time for the things you value and prioritize no matter how busy. And I'm sensing that this among all the other small things I've noticed.. "Us" doesn't seem to be a priority or something to be planned around whereas it was very much a focus in the past. Not to make it about me, but the overriding feeling is that "I" am no longer useful or needed for one reason or other. Completely shitty feeling for sure. Either intentional or unintentional, there is something that is causing this and its leaving me, exasperated for some sort of logical reason.
My mind is starting to spiral, going to some dark places and I don't remember a time I've ever felt the relationship to be so vulnerable. It's affecting my mood and how I'm conducting my everyday life for sure, and it doesn't feel healthy at all to be carrying these feelings. Like, who do you even talk to if the person you talk and most comfortable with is the source of these issues. For background, its been about 8 years and have never questioned our compatibility but it feels like the ground completely fell out from under us.
Given the situation, would you wait it out, pretend all is well until they're back (less than a month ) and sort it out then...Or, bring it up now ( it almost seems like the nuclear rip the band-aid off option ) and figure out if its just a misunderstanding or to confirm the drift. Feel like I know what the smart thing to do is? But emotions are stupid and irrational... proof: we end up on RS doing this kinda thing
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03-28-2022, 11:54 PM
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#25179 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
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Originally Posted by Teriyaki Wow, didn't think I'd ever be writing a post here but here I am.
Long story short, been long-distance for an inordinate amount of time. Separated initially mainly due to covid, then ongoing border controls. We haven't seen each other since 2020. The GF is finally returning pretty soon but things have seemingly markedly shifted in the last few months.
I think the feelings on the other end, or rather can feel and sense that things have changed. For sure the lack of physical touch and just being not being in the same time zone or experiencing life together has had its detriment as can be expected. Daily video chats and calls were the norm but then last month its been, a scheduling conflict here or an inconvenience that prevented that. And then it just sort of became the norm to not have them at all. We're far too old and have never been the type to be playing games, so its not that. I'm of the thinking that, you make time for the things you value and prioritize no matter how busy. And I'm sensing that this among all the other small things I've noticed.. "Us" doesn't seem to be a priority or something to be planned around whereas it was very much a focus in the past. Not to make it about me, but the overriding feeling is that "I" am no longer useful or needed for one reason or other. Completely shitty feeling for sure. Either intentional or unintentional, there is something that is causing this and its leaving me, exasperated for some sort of logical reason.
My mind is starting to spiral, going to some dark places and I don't remember a time I've ever felt the relationship to be so vulnerable. It's affecting my mood and how I'm conducting my everyday life for sure, and it doesn't feel healthy at all to be carrying these feelings. Like, who do you even talk to if the person you talk and most comfortable with is the source of these issues. For background, its been about 8 years and have never questioned our compatibility but it feels like the ground completely fell out from under us.
Given the situation, would you wait it out, pretend all is well until they're back (less than a month ) and sort it out then...Or, bring it up now ( it almost seems like the nuclear rip the band-aid off option ) and figure out if its just a misunderstanding or to confirm the drift. Feel like I know what the smart thing to do is? But emotions are stupid and irrational... proof: we end up on RS doing this kinda thing | The way I read this (objectively), I can only suggest one thing:
Wait for her....
You said she's coming back in less than a month? I would be excited, not beat down. Your reunion could be what your relationship needs. Two years is a long time to be away from someone especially THE ONE.
I'm guessing she's coming via airplane? Meet her at the airport. Look at her when she comes through the gate, wave with enthusiasm, smile and feel what you felt during your happiest moments with her. If you cry, consider that a massive step as your heart is speaking to you, unfiltered by your mind.
Don't rush with impulse just yet. You waited for two years and with 8 years under your belts, is it worth it to jettison yourself now with such little time left before she comes back? Nah, stay the course. Let your body dictate how you feel when you reunite with her. I wouldn't throw this chance away just because of missed video calls / texts & shit. Body language, eye contact, hand holding are HUGE when it comes to social interaction.
I'm hoping for the best.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by GS8 When I think about ewe, I touch myself | | |
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03-29-2022, 03:30 PM
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#25180 | | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
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Originally Posted by Teriyaki Wow, didn't think I'd ever be writing a post here but here I am.
Long story short, been long-distance for an inordinate amount of time. Separated initially mainly due to covid, then ongoing border controls. We haven't seen each other since 2020. The GF is finally returning pretty soon but things have seemingly markedly shifted in the last few months.
I think the feelings on the other end, or rather can feel and sense that things have changed. For sure the lack of physical touch and just being not being in the same time zone or experiencing life together has had its detriment as can be expected. Daily video chats and calls were the norm but then last month its been, a scheduling conflict here or an inconvenience that prevented that. And then it just sort of became the norm to not have them at all. We're far too old and have never been the type to be playing games, so its not that. I'm of the thinking that, you make time for the things you value and prioritize no matter how busy. And I'm sensing that this among all the other small things I've noticed.. "Us" doesn't seem to be a priority or something to be planned around whereas it was very much a focus in the past. Not to make it about me, but the overriding feeling is that "I" am no longer useful or needed for one reason or other. Completely shitty feeling for sure. Either intentional or unintentional, there is something that is causing this and its leaving me, exasperated for some sort of logical reason.
My mind is starting to spiral, going to some dark places and I don't remember a time I've ever felt the relationship to be so vulnerable. It's affecting my mood and how I'm conducting my everyday life for sure, and it doesn't feel healthy at all to be carrying these feelings. Like, who do you even talk to if the person you talk and most comfortable with is the source of these issues. For background, its been about 8 years and have never questioned our compatibility but it feels like the ground completely fell out from under us.
Given the situation, would you wait it out, pretend all is well until they're back (less than a month ) and sort it out then...Or, bring it up now ( it almost seems like the nuclear rip the band-aid off option ) and figure out if its just a misunderstanding or to confirm the drift. Feel like I know what the smart thing to do is? But emotions are stupid and irrational... proof: we end up on RS doing this kinda thing |
Without knowing this inordinate amount of time, this is a tougher question to answer.
Plain and simple, the MAJORITY of long distance relationships don't work, perhaps if you have kids and are married it has a better chance, but without those factors, not so much.
People need person to person contact, if you're only dating without the above anchored connections, interest gets lost. It's the same way people are burnt out having Zoom meetings, people were engaged with that crap for a few months, but by 2021, those weekly team "Happy Hours" ended quickly 
I wouldn't bring it up with her at all right now man. You'll just come off as needy and it could turn her off. Perhaps the daily calls have slowed down because she knows she'll be seeing you in person soon enough? Why not just wait until she's back in town, see what the dynamic is like between the two of you at that point. You might find you both reset like nothing has changed, and your concerns totally unwarranted.
If you she's back and still continues to be distant in your in-person interactions over the course of a certain amount of time (a month or so), bring it up at that point.
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03-29-2022, 09:52 PM
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#25181 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
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danggg you got a tight situation.
it's been that long already, if she comes back and feelings stays, great, if not. At least ou gave it a shot now that she's back.
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03-30-2022, 10:13 PM
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#25182 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
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Me and my dad weren't close but he passed away today.
I cant say he was a good man but he wasn't a bad man either. Not sure how I feel right now.
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03-31-2022, 12:45 AM
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#25183 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
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Originally Posted by tegra7 Me and my dad weren't close but he passed away today.
I cant say he was a good man but he wasn't a bad man either. Not sure how I feel right now. | Sorry to hear.
Kinda reminds me of my relationship with my dad. Way too many issues from my past that affect me to this day but one of the most impactful things I learned in life was the power to forgive. You don't have to tell them in-person that you forgive them. rather, you forgive within your heart (if you can) which reduces your stress and anxiety over time. You let go of the burdens and simply come to terms with what happened and hopefully use the situations to improve your life moving forward. It may never be 100% but it's better than bottling it up 100% for the remainder of YOUR life.
I won't tell you how to feel but all I could say is maybe just accept whatever he did for you that was good and say to yourself that what he did overall was 'good enough'.
Just a thought.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by GS8 When I think about ewe, I touch myself | | |
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03-31-2022, 12:22 PM
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#25184 | | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
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Originally Posted by GS8 Sorry to hear.
Kinda reminds me of my relationship with my dad. Way too many issues from my past that affect me to this day but one of the most impactful things I learned in life was the power to forgive. You don't have to tell them in-person that you forgive them. rather, you forgive within your heart (if you can) which reduces your stress and anxiety over time. You let go of the burdens and simply come to terms with what happened and hopefully use the situations to improve your life moving forward. It may never be 100% but it's better than bottling it up 100% for the remainder of YOUR life.
I won't tell you how to feel but all I could say is maybe just accept whatever he did for you that was good and say to yourself that what he did overall was 'good enough'.
Just a thought. | This is very true. At some point harboring the resentment and hate only affects you and can become wasted energy.
Good post.
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04-16-2022, 09:31 PM
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#25185 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
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This thread is quiet so I might as well speak it out.
A few pages back (basically last summer), I mentioned seeing a girl. Hilarity ensued with some of the responses here. I let things blow over and time pass so I might as well update now:
She & I definitely had a spark which bloomed into a full on relationship but it didn't last long. When I pressed her on it, she said she has security issues so I backed off and we stayed as friends. I simply asked her if she wanted me to stay in her life and she said yes. We texted each other for a bit and one day in late September, she started sending walls of texts to me which prompted me to phone her.
She wanted to get a lot of things off her mind and used me as her lighting rod. The conversation evolved and I asked her why she was being so sketchy with us and our relationship and then she said it:
She was in an abusive relationship for 4 years.
Her moving to Canada is what allowed her to escape his clutch. Upon arriving here, she went on some wild horny bender well before I came in. I asked her about that and she said it was her coping mechanism and she didn't enjoy any of it. It was her way of expressing freedom but in hindsight, felt dirty.
I talked with her more (I'm not a therapist) but she told me a lot of things that made me feel bad for her. She definitely has issues she needs to get over. Considering we met by chance, she thanked me for being in her life and helping her understand things. She said she's not ready to date anyone until she fixes herself because she wants to present her best self to her future boyfriend. She's taking time off from dating and instead, focusing on her work and family.
She said she can't live without me, though, and she also said I inspired her so that's enough for me to say this whole process was worth it. I don't know if she and I will ever get back together but I just want to see her be a better person and not the damaged person I met. I'm hoping Canada gives her that opportunity but so far, so good. She'll get there. I don't think I can wait for her (as much as I'd like to).
Fast forward to present day:
We don't talk in great depths as we used to but we say hi to each from time to time. She's happy now. I just think of our story as a Shakespeare play. Just waiting for that curtain call.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by GS8 When I think about ewe, I touch myself | | |
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04-19-2022, 01:56 AM
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#25186 | | Ask me about killing a hobo and dumping his body in the river
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Four years... we've been together for four years, I stayed by your side when your life was falling apart I tried to give you everything but for you to leave because of how you have gotten used to being apart from me and giving me a bullshit excuse of how your mother doesn't like me, because of my current situation like fuck me why did I waste my time on you. You were my everything.
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[18-02, 21:40] ICE BOY please come over and wrap me in your foreskin.
[18-10, 14:35] ZN6 Evo if you here: Say what your heart feels, cause those who matter don't mind, and those who mind shouldn't matter
[26-07, 14:46] ZN6 I gonna nibble on your scrotum
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04-22-2022, 01:02 AM
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#25187 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
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Originally Posted by GS8 Cliched but the situation below isn't about me but, rather, a friend of mine who's in a scenario I thought I'd share:
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He's been seeing a girl since August last year. Three weeks in, the girl says she needs time off from it to deal with personal matters. She didn't share much of it but after some pressing from my friend, she revealed that she didn't fully break it off with the guy she was seeing prior and she was torn. She basically said she was pursuing the guy for a relationship but he wasn't reciprocating as he wanted her just for sex and relaxation, nothing more. She also mentioned that while she feels mentally connected to my friend, her heart wasn't feeling that same connection.
They agreed to not see each other so she can end it with the previous guy and have a 'cleanse'. He texted her periodically to checkup on her and she appreciated that.
Come November, (2 months), she says she's ready to see him again. Her previous BF was out of the picture and she felt spiritually 'renewed'.
They see each other again like they used to but then Christmas comes in and they're both busy with family, then she gets Covid in January which put her out for 2 more weeks. So basically between Nov and now (about 3 months), they saw each other around 8 times.
It was 2 weeks ago they went to a restaurant and for the first time, she decides to take a selfie with the two of them AND she posts it on her social media where her family take notice and are apparently happy for her. My friend was ecstatic at this point because he thought that she was finally comfortable enough to be with him, accept him and that she had gotten over her issues from September. The relationship was officially beginning.
And then last night happens. She texted him again saying she can't feel the connection when they kiss or be intimate. She said he's the perfect boyfriend (much better than her previous BF) and her mind wants to move forward but there's something in her heart that makes her not feel anything. Apparently she considered ignoring her heart and following her mind but thinks that will create a delusion and none of them will be happy since the connection isn't genuine.
So yeah, my friend is feeling dejected now. They talked a bit after the initial messages and she's convinced that she can't feel anything, not because of my friend, but because of her own history with failed relationships (she's at 4) and she's in her mid 30s.
My view was that it's almost like her heart is putting up a self-defense mechanism due to her history and to prevent further hurt.
Anyway, it's not so much the revelation that's eating my friend up. It's the ambiguity. She said she MAY feel something at some point but she doesn't know when. I mean, that's gotta hurt anyone in that situation right? It could be a month or even one year before she knows how to proceed. She said she's not dating at all and it's last on her priority list. They are both thinking that dating again in November might have been too soon. My friend honestly thought she'd cleanse until the end of 2021 and start fresh this year but she thought 2 months would be enough.
I actually feel for both of them. I can't imagine the shock and confusion going on between them. They are currently on good terms but in his own words 'the relationship ended as soon as it began'.
He doesn't want to get back into dating himself because of how hard it's been especially with Covid. Online makes it even harder. It's almost like the ratio of men to women is like 10:1. He said he'll just focus on his career and just see what happens. He's latching to the fact that she said he's 'the perfect boyfriend' as hope but the ambiguity will bother him. I empathize. Humans don't get along with ambiguity. We always like all the information present to us and a crystal clear fashion.
Whoops! This is a long post but he told me everything so I tried to transcribe as best I could. | Update to this story:
She's back with the guy she was seeing prior to my friend. She was actually seeing him just before separating from my friend. When my friend asked her 'what's up with that', she simply said 'the heart wants what it wants and I don't owe you an explanation'.
She's also a pretty devout Christian.
I'm not sure if Jesus was a ratchet?
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by GS8 When I think about ewe, I touch myself | | |
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04-24-2022, 10:37 AM
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#25188 | | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
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Didn't I tell you that was happening?
She probably never stopped "dating" the guy. She was likely going through a rocky point with the main guy and used your friend as a distraction to reaffirm her self-esteem.
It sucks, but your buddy got played.
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04-24-2022, 04:31 PM
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#25189 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
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Originally Posted by mikemhg Didn't I tell you that was happening?
She probably never stopped "dating" the guy. She was likely going through a rocky point with the main guy and used your friend as a distraction to reaffirm her self-esteem.
It sucks, but your buddy got played. | Yeah, he admits he fell into the 'love is blind' trope. I guess the fact my friend was with her for 10 months makes it more unreal. It's one thing to be the 'bandage boyfriend' for a few weeks while repairing issues with the main man but 10 months seems sociopathic.
He has accepted reality and moved on. He's talking to at least three different women and has already been on dates with some of them. He does kind of want to keep tabs on her (from a distance) to see if she ends up miserable again.....
....
so he can laugh at her 
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by GS8 When I think about ewe, I touch myself | | |
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04-25-2022, 06:34 PM
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#25190 | | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
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Originally Posted by GS8 Yeah, he admits he fell into the 'love is blind' trope. I guess the fact my friend was with her for 10 months makes it more unreal. It's one thing to be the 'bandage boyfriend' for a few weeks while repairing issues with the main man but 10 months seems sociopathic.
He has accepted reality and moved on. He's talking to at least three different women and has already been on dates with some of them. He does kind of want to keep tabs on her (from a distance) to see if she ends up miserable again.....
....
so he can laugh at her | He shouldn't keep tabs. Delete her from all social media, and move on. If he keeps tabs he might feel an inclination to give it another chance if she does end up miserable and vulnerable.
That would be a bad move.
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04-26-2022, 06:38 AM
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#25191 | | Ask me about killing a hobo and dumping his body in the river
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It's been a week since we've stopped talking, do you think of me at night? Because I lose sleep thinking about you still.
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[18-02, 21:40] ICE BOY please come over and wrap me in your foreskin.
[18-10, 14:35] ZN6 Evo if you here: Say what your heart feels, cause those who matter don't mind, and those who mind shouldn't matter
[26-07, 14:46] ZN6 I gonna nibble on your scrotum
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04-26-2022, 01:00 PM
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#25192 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
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Originally Posted by EvoLove It's been a week since we've stopped talking, do you think of me at night? | Probably not
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04-26-2022, 11:19 PM
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#25193 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
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Originally Posted by mikemhg He shouldn't keep tabs. Delete her from all social media, and move on. If he keeps tabs he might feel an inclination to give it another chance if she does end up miserable and vulnerable.
That would be a bad move. | I mentioned that to him too. He's adamant he's not going back to her as he's very happy in his current situation. He just takes karma seriously and wants to see her get hit with level 9 karma lightning. He says he's only going to check on her pages once in a while. He just has this inclination that the main man is going to leave her again.
I did my part 
Side note: Dating sucks. Not the concept but, rather the tools and institutions. PC culture has made talking to strangers almost impossible. We really need to change the maple leaf on our flag to a fem pad....
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by GS8 When I think about ewe, I touch myself | | |
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05-12-2022, 12:34 AM
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#25194 | | Ask me about killing a hobo and dumping his body in the river
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its been a month now i still cant get you out of my head on my drive homes and when im alone. no amount of games or books can keep me from thinking about you. the only way i can sleep is by drinking which is what you hated me doing.
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[18-02, 21:40] ICE BOY please come over and wrap me in your foreskin.
[18-10, 14:35] ZN6 Evo if you here: Say what your heart feels, cause those who matter don't mind, and those who mind shouldn't matter
[26-07, 14:46] ZN6 I gonna nibble on your scrotum
93 honda civic si (RIP)
2010 Evolution X (RIP)
2000 GMC Yukon XL SLT (RIP)
2003 GMC Yukon XL Denali (Overland build
2019 Kawasaki Ex 400(Summer Daily)
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05-12-2022, 08:53 AM
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#25195 | | I subscribe to the Fight Club ONLY
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You hitting the gym, bro?
Generally speaking, working out / exercises / sports is a proven good way to lift your mood, esp when you keep at it on a consistent basis.
Get those endorphins going! Quote:
Originally Posted by EvoLove its been a month now i still cant get you out of my head on my drive homes and when im alone. no amount of games or books can keep me from thinking about you. the only way i can sleep is by drinking which is what you hated me doing. | | |
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05-12-2022, 01:55 PM
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#25196 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
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Should also start working on improving yourself to get yourself back on that dating market. It's rough out there!
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05-13-2022, 12:32 AM
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#25197 | | Ask me about killing a hobo and dumping his body in the river
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Originally Posted by Traum You hitting the gym, bro?
Generally speaking, working out / exercises / sports is a proven good way to lift your mood, esp when you keep at it on a consistent basis.
Get those endorphins going! | yea i hit the gym 4 days a week now, mon,tue, thur, and friday, weekends i ride around if weather permits.
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[18-02, 21:40] ICE BOY please come over and wrap me in your foreskin.
[18-10, 14:35] ZN6 Evo if you here: Say what your heart feels, cause those who matter don't mind, and those who mind shouldn't matter
[26-07, 14:46] ZN6 I gonna nibble on your scrotum
93 honda civic si (RIP)
2010 Evolution X (RIP)
2000 GMC Yukon XL SLT (RIP)
2003 GMC Yukon XL Denali (Overland build
2019 Kawasaki Ex 400(Summer Daily)
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05-13-2022, 12:36 AM
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#25198 | | Ask me about killing a hobo and dumping his body in the river
Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: YVR/PG
Posts: 617
Thanked 255 Times in 128 Posts
Failed 137 Times in 56 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerbs Should also start working on improving yourself to get yourself back on that dating market. It's rough out there! | i don't even know where to start for dating, i,m going back to school next year for electrical. currently I'm just working a mon-fri job to build up my savings again. with out her my weekly spending dropped so much, I rarely eat out now, i cook at home or just drink protein and call it a day.
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[18-02, 21:40] ICE BOY please come over and wrap me in your foreskin.
[18-10, 14:35] ZN6 Evo if you here: Say what your heart feels, cause those who matter don't mind, and those who mind shouldn't matter
[26-07, 14:46] ZN6 I gonna nibble on your scrotum
93 honda civic si (RIP)
2010 Evolution X (RIP)
2000 GMC Yukon XL SLT (RIP)
2003 GMC Yukon XL Denali (Overland build
2019 Kawasaki Ex 400(Summer Daily)
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05-13-2022, 03:13 PM
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#25199 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: /
Posts: 4,928
Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,021 Posts
Failed 253 Times in 72 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by EvoLove i don't even know where to start for dating, i,m going back to school next year for electrical. currently I'm just working a mon-fri job to build up my savings again. with out her my weekly spending dropped so much, I rarely eat out now, i cook at home or just drink protein and call it a day. | What questions do you have?
With dating the biggest realization everyone needs to have is that everyone has their own value in the dating marketplace. If you're a 6/10, you can probably afford a 6/10 or below. There are exceptions where you can negotiate a 7/10 but you can't have those IG models on social media.
So in order to do really well in dating, you have to work on yourself to be the best version of yourself and be someone the person you want to attract wants to date. So this could include, being fit, taking care of your skin, money, hobbies, well dressed, personality.
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2022 Velo N
2005 S2000
2007 CSX Type-S [Sold]
2002 RSX-S [T-Boned]
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05-14-2022, 02:21 PM
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#25200 | | MiX iT Up!
Join Date: May 2006 Location: vancouver
Posts: 8,137
Thanked 2,069 Times in 867 Posts
Failed 642 Times in 183 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerbs What questions do you have?
With dating the biggest realization everyone needs to have is that everyone has their own value in the dating marketplace. If you're a 6/10, you can probably afford a 6/10 or below. There are exceptions where you can negotiate a 7/10 but you can't have those IG models on social media.
So in order to do really well in dating, you have to work on yourself to be the best version of yourself and be someone the person you want to attract wants to date. So this could include, being fit, taking care of your skin, money, hobbies, well dressed, personality. |
Caveat on "So this could include, being fit, taking care of your skin, money, hobbies, well dressed, personality."
If you gonna be fit, smooth skin, money, hobbies, dress, personality(faking it).
Can you keep it up for the rest of your life should you get married?
Do something you can keep up with and find someone who will accept you for that. Can realistically hit the gym 3x a week, can only skin care once a month, hobbies are D&D on wednesday nights, sweat pants are the pref dress? Sure show your best self on the first date or two but make sure she gets the real you picture fast.
Be a 6/10 90% of the time instead of a 8/10 10% of the time and the 10% is the initial phase.
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Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.
Make the effort and take the risk..
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt | |
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