Speak it Out

[Tapioca]

Reading these stories is wild... I don't understand why there's tolerance for these types of relationships?

Everyone has issues from childhood that manifest themselves in the present day. Therapy really helps - I find it hard to believe that the ballers on RS who have detached houses can't afford a therapist every few weeks. A housekeeper also helps as well - a few hundred bucks a month is well worth the cost to your marriage.

[Badhobz]

i dont get it, the more we progress in "mental health" the more miserable and insane everyone seems to be.

I don't recall nearly as many divorces, unhappy people, or idiots as a kid. Our parents didn't have enough time to bicker about stupid shit since they had to work to provide food on the table. Couldnt afford divorces either.

the problems that we have nowadays seem so trivial and stupid in comparison.

[bcrdukes]

Maybe the housekeeper can double up as a therapist.

[Traum]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

Yeah that's what I've been telling the wife, you can't go back in time and there's nothing that can change history. History is history. I did ask what you are trying to achieve at this point in life by living the so called life you never had? Go out and party until 4am? Go blow money on things you didn't get a chance to when your in your 20's? There are plenty of things to look forward in life, can travel anywhere you want now without any restrictions. Can eat whatever you want without your mom telling you what not to eat. So I'm quite puzzled what exactly is creating this emotional struggle. Counsellor told her to stop talking to her mom because her mom created all this childhood trauma (which means her mom is a trigger).

...

Don't get me wrong, everyone has their own ways to "destress" from whatever personal shit they are dealing with. Although there needs to be a balance, so shit doesn't go extreme. I'm still learning, newbie in marriage.

In this case, I'm gonna suggest that you'll have to turn down the logical part of your brain, and appeal more to the emotional / sentimental part of your brain to look at the issue. No amount of logical reasoning is going to change her mind or the way she conducts herself. She needs to come to the conclusion thru her own reflection and internalization.

At the end of the day, she is chasing to make up for and fulfill an emotional void, and doing that requires an emotional / sentimental approach. A logical approach is simply not going to work.

It's really not that different from having an argument with your wife. Even if you can win the logical argument, what good does that do if you end up losing the relationship?

[underscore]

Originally Posted by Badhobz

i dont get it, the more we progress in "mental health" the more miserable and insane everyone seems to be.

Well yeah, the more open we become about it the less people are burying their misery and suffering in silence.

As a kid I'm sure we were ignorant to the reality of a lot of what adults were dealing with but I remember a lot of my friends parents were divorced when I was growing up.

[CivicBlues]

Originally Posted by Badhobz

i dont get it, the more we progress in "mental health" the more miserable and insane everyone seems to be.

I don't recall nearly as many divorces, unhappy people, or idiots as a kid. Our parents didn't have enough time to bicker about stupid shit since they had to work to provide food on the table. Couldnt afford divorces either.

the problems that we have nowadays seem so trivial and stupid in comparison.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/canad...rried%20people.

Divorce rate is lower now than ever in the past 50 years. But then so is the marriage rate. So only usually those who really want to get married, stay married.

Anecdotally, in the Asian bubble it's higher because our parents generation did not divorce - no matter what. 2nd Gen just becoming more like white people now so feels like it's higher among your group.

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by Traum

If the girl is wealthier than you are, take as long as you need to find out.

If you are the wealthier person in the relationship, you gotta make a decision by the 21st month. That'd still leave 3 months for "eviction", after which you'd be considered a common law couple, and the girl would be entitled to claim 1/2 of your shxt LOL~

disclaimer -- The contents provided above do not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice.

Common law only dictates 50% of net gains after 2 years. Your 911 + 2 houses are safe if it was brought in pre-commonlaw.

Most college educated girls earn equal to more than most men these days, so no need to worry anymore

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

Most college educated girls earn equal to more than most men these days, so no need to worry anymore

I find it hard to believe that the guys on here can't find an attractive partner who makes as much or more than them and comes to the table with an equal amount of assets and smarts.

Seems like that's the whole issue here...

[CivicBlues]

Originally Posted by Tapioca

I find it hard to believe that the guys on here can't find an attractive partner who makes as much or more than them and comes to the table with an equal amount of assets and smarts.

Seems like that's the whole issue here...

Umm...have you met guys who spend an inordinate time on the internet?

And let's face it - High earning women are not going to "settle" for some guy that earns just as much as them let alone anyone who earns less. Just because you lucked out doesn't mean that's the case for the vast majority of high earning women. This isn't misogany talking, just the plain pareto principle at work in dating today.

[Badhobz]

I’ve never met a high earning woman who wasn’t a complete nut bag. They didn’t get up there by playing nice or fair.

[GS8]

The good thing is while they're distracted with their high-earning baggage, you can just have your fun and bounce your balls from her esophagus right out the front door

[68style]

"I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE"

[mikemhg]

Originally Posted by CivicBlues

Umm...have you met guys who spend an inordinate time on the internet?

And let's face it - High earning women are not going to "settle" for some guy that earns just as much as them let alone anyone who earns less. Just because you lucked out doesn't mean that's the case for the vast majority of high earning women. This isn't misogany talking, just the plain pareto principle at work in dating today.

My GF and I make pretty similar income

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

My GF and I make pretty similar income

you look like a greek god

[mikemhg]

I'm just saying, I think some men nowadays do themselves a bit of a disservice by parroting this idea we need to cling to some golden-age era idea of thinking.

The college graduation and degree gap between women and men has grown immensely over the last decade. More women work, and more and more women are paid incomes commensurate to men.

This idea that the woman makes nothing and should sit at home, meanwhile the man does all the breadwinning is an archaic way of thinking that seems to still propagate heavily in certain ethnic groups, and I think that's why we're seeing such unrest in relationship dynamics, and expectations nowadays.

[Hondaracer]

Wife makes about 25% more than I do, maybe slightly more

2 degrees and her PMP..

And no we don’t talk politics or other BS

We’ve got the mentality of what’s good for one of us is generally good for both.

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by Hondaracer

Wife makes about 25% more than I do, maybe slightly more

2 degrees and her PMP..

And no we don’t talk politics or other BS

We’ve got the mentality of what’s good for one of us is generally good for both.

Speaking of work salaries. When I met my wife we were making about the same. However she was working 60 hours a week, while her boss clocks out at 37 hours. I told her the hours she was working ain't worth it because her boss jets at the dot and taking all the credit of the work, while whenever there's shit, wife gotta deal with it. So that point she agreed to switch to a different department and took a pay cut.

Fast forward to present date, awhile back she rips me about how I got jealous she was making same/slightly more than her and that men don't like women making more than them. I'm like "right, so your saying it's okay you work until 10pm at night, while your boss leaves at 4pm". Mind you this is a union job in Cupe. Who the fuck works OT in a Cupe job that ain't paying you over-time or extra time off in lieu. I tried to argue with logic, but logic don't work with my wife or her family, stuck up in some emotional bullshit.

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

I'm just saying, I think some men nowadays do themselves a bit of a disservice by parroting this idea we need to cling to some golden-age era idea of thinking.

The college graduation and degree gap between women and men has grown immensely over the last decade. More women work, and more and more women are paid incomes commensurate to men.

This idea that the woman makes nothing and should sit at home, meanwhile the man does all the breadwinning is an archaic way of thinking that seems to still propagate heavily in certain ethnic groups, and I think that's why we're seeing such unrest in relationship dynamics, and expectations nowadays.

I completely agree with you, there's more women with degrees than men. Majority of girls with degrees nowadays make the same as men, some more.

It feels pretty close, I'd guess only 60% of men make more than the women in our 20's age group. But mostly due to imbalance of choosing to be a SWE or Trades.

But at a minimum, most girls are clearing $55-85K+ with a business degree and 3-5 years of experience. You don't have to settle for a retail / admin workers anymore.

[mikemhg]

This is why I firmly believe you're seeing so many young men going red-pill, which is sad.

There's a definitive frustration men are having where the expectation of the man is to pay for everything as if we're living in this idyllic 1960's golden era economy, that no longer exists.

If a woman is making more or less and same as the man, why are some women (and even some men) thinking they need to carry the full weight of a household, fiscally?

All the sugar babies I know in Vancouver who carry that mentality are always in-and-out of relationships.

Eventually the man gets sick of the dynamic, cheats on her, or dumps her -- a transactional relationship only lasts as long as that pussy is new and novel, eventually everything gets old

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

This is why I firmly believe you're seeing so many young men going red-pill, which is sad.

There's a definitive frustration men are having where the expectation of the man is to pay for everything as if we're living in this idyllic 1960's golden era economy, that no longer exists.

In a high cost of living city, you're need $120-300K single income to provide. A girl who expects a full provider likes "nicer" things as well. If these guys are in the top 1-9% of income that means there's < 5-15,000 of them in the lower mainland between 25-39.


I think most men are going red-pill because
- They feel invisible, get shamed and laughed at
- 10-30% salary isn't as glorified as it used to be
- Average is shamed
- Unrealistic expectations from women
- Lack of third space to meet women
- We're becoming socially retarded due to social media

On the other hand, women have a complete mismatch on the value they bring vs the guy they can realistically secure long-term. For every successful tall dude they sleep with, it warps their reality of who they "deserve"

It's tough out there, but imo it's the easiest as it's ever been to be a good catch, seems like all the men have given up

[68style]

My gf makes more than double what I make, but it's contractual by nature so can't count on tomorrow type thing.

Sometimes my inner 1960's comes out and I get upset about it, but in general I don't care. It's all stuck in her company anyway, so her actual salary she pays herself is pretty minimal.

Good thing I'm such a great catch, but you guys already knew that just talking to me on here.

Right? Right??

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

In a high cost of living city, you're need $120-300K single income to provide. A girl who expects a full provider likes "nicer" things as well. If these guys are in the top 1-9% of income that means there's < 5-15,000 of them in the lower mainland between 25-39.

Sounds pretty awful for GenZ and later millennials, but how many of these people in your network are open to dating outside of their ethnicity? Seems like a phenomenon that's largely exclusive to East Asians who are not interested/willing or have the "rizz" to broaden their horizons.

The people that are chiming in here with equal or higher-earning partners are non-Asian. I personally didn't have a lot of luck with East Asian women when I was in my dating years and I ended up partnering with a smart and sophisticated non-Asian/non-white woman.

[CivicBlues]

I'm pretty sure 68 Style's gf is Asian which he mentions all the time.

[68style]

I mean I grew up/live in Richmond, not like I had a lot of other choices

[GS8]

Originally Posted by 68style

My gf makes more than double what I make, but it's contractual by nature so can't count on tomorrow type thing.

Sometimes my inner 1960's comes out and I get upset about it, but in general I don't care. It's all stuck in her company anyway, so her actual salary she pays herself is pretty minimal.

Good thing I'm such a great catch, but you guys already knew that just talking to me on here.

Right? Right??

Your wife is really nice

And no matter what she makes, her beauty will always be priceless

68style >< GS8