| El Bastardo | 11-24-2012 11:25 PM |
(In reference to the one tool who I always complain about on Speak It Out. We're not romantically involved but this person gets under my skin nonetheless)
I think its great that you're involved with someone. Sure hes a bunch of years younger than you, works at Wal Mart, and you've caught him flirting behind your back with some chick he met on OKCupid... but I'm glad you're happy. Theres nothing quite like a blossoming relationship to make you feel alive.
I'm happy for you, I really am.
But I don't need to hear about it all of the time. Seriously, every conversation I have with you is about how you think his heart was made for you, how the tarot reading you did on him was "scary accurate" and told you that you'd be together forever, and how his cute cottage cheese farts are the most adorable thing ever.
Today I heard from you at two different intervals about basically the same shit. Most recently you messaged me on Facebook and said "Hey. I'm watching TV with ______"
The fuck do I care? What does that add to my life? How will I go away from that conversation with something that enriches my world? Did I need this breaking news? Fuck the situation in Gaza, put that shit on CNN. "This is Wolf Blitzer reporting that an obnoxious tart is cuddling on the couch with her manchild"
A couple of weeks ago I sat down and helped you plan out how you two could move in together in the new year. I mentioned finances, talked about how you guys would need to set aside some of your entertainment money and do some crunching but you could make it. You responded with a play-by-play of a sappy text message conversation you had with him and then swerved into describing something you saw on YouTube.
I know this guy is a big improvement over the guy you were with for a few years and just dumped last year, but messaging me late at night in tailspin panic mode because you've heard your ex is marrying someone else. Maybe if she'll enjoy being a stoner's husband who will have to be not only the breadwinner but the outlet for his impotent frustration. Why does shit like this matter to you? I get that your life isn't exactly where you want it to be right now but you don't get to control the people who were part of your past, only participate in the lives of people who are part of your future.
Seriously, in case you haven't noticed; when we talk and you steer the conversation back to it inevitable destination I just stop talking. That's what the rest of us folks call a "social que" and is my way of giving you a subtle hint that I don't want to talk about the same inane shit we've been talking about forever.
I'm not jealous. I just don't give a fuck. I don't respect you and the only reason that you're still on my friends list is because not having you where I can keep an eye on you is dangerous because you're likely to switch to full retard mode and cause all sorts of hell for me behind my back with very little provocation.
And the worst part? This guy'll be just like the guy who you dated with the wife and newborn who you thought was "amazing" and like that other rave club rat who used you for a semen receptacle.
I think the only reason you talk to me about this shit is because I'm the only one left who will listen. I'm the last person willing to appease you seeing as most people who come into your life eventually just wander out of it once they figure out what you're all about. I'm surprised you were under my radar for as long as you were before I realized what a tar baby you are (not a racist thing folks. its a real term. look it up) | 