im not gay, but 20$ is 20$

so i recently started talking to this girl who i had feelings for back in highschool we hung out and slowly became closer to each other and i started to have feelings for her. One day we went to the library to study and i was texting my friend and she peeked at my screen and asked who are you texting then i said "john"(not real name) and she said tell him i said hi after she told me to tell "john" that she thinks hes cute so i sent it thinking that he would just take it as a complement after he responded and say "are you srs rn?" and i said thats what she told me to say then me and her left the library i dropped her off
then "john" called and asked if i wanted to get something to eat together. When we were out eating he msged her " you told "kevin" to tell me that you think im cute?" and later she responded and they talked to each other the next day he tells me that they are dating.

whenever i see them i have this sense of jealousy that flows through my head

It must be outside pressure and a tad of want. Though in the long run, I shouldn't... it simply must be a thought at the time. No two things can ever be the same, though I can't say that I'm not a bit jealous.
I can't seem to ever catch anything at a good time. Maybe it's a change of scenery that will help trigger what I'm seeking.
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Need to move on and accept that you'll only look at me as a friend
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what a way to start 2014.
got rejected by her. but heres the twist. She brought her friends along and basically had them say that she wants to stay as friends. im fine with her rejecting me and all that cuz i already felt that she doesnt like me. BUT having her friends say it for her?! really?!
I dont even feel sad about it for some reason, but just pissed of how she handled this.
oh wells, i guess its truely time to move on.

^^
Immaturity. also Immature friends for going along with it. Be glad you dodged that bullet.

i think we mutually make it difficult for each other to give a fuck when all we do is take shots at each other.

unhealthy much.

i guess ill just roll over and take it this time.

what happened to akinari's diary

shit happens..

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, nor do I know what I'm doing right. I'm apparently awkward. I apparently can't get girls. I won't follow people's advice. Well fuck me right? I try so hard with no reward for such a long time. Tell me what is it I'm doing wrong. Tell me why.

Can't I just have someone to talk to and share experiences? How do others make friends so easily? The "friends" I meet never make an effort to contact me. It's me. I know it's me, but where do I begin? If I'm too funny no one takes me seriously and makes fun of me. When I'm serious then I'm no fun and too square and professional. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I know I have to balance the two, I'm still working on it. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I feel like giving up although I know I shouldn't. Life goes on right? I guess I'll just focus my energies into bettering myself through books and learning. Fuck bitches get money right? Haha, who am I kidding. Right now I really want to feel a touch of a girl, have a girl next to me. Someone who I can call mine and I'm hers. Someone to give my love to. Because I have so much to give, that it weighs me down.

Well, that's enough. I'm going to take care of myself and keep improving. That's the goal. Be a boss, be a gentleman and be a hero.

No I don't love you. But it got me laid tonight. so..uhhh please don't call me tomorrow.

Korean girls are crazy as shit.

but it was awesome wasn't it :ifyouknow:

Heading back to Victoria; it'll be good to be "home".
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Everything in the past 10 days has happened for a reason, and the end result is peace of mind. I can finally finish discovering who I am.

feeling really alone right now

bursted into tears today. i havent cried that much since i was a kid.

I failed you because you should've been in vancouver :p :heartsmile:

I thanked you because I feel your pain bro, that's why I didn't leave Vancouver, lol. It's just too expensive/dangerous to travel over Christmas ;) lol

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Money can't buy love nor investing time on someone.


Screw this.


https://scontent-a-sea.xx.fbcdn.net/...54074190_n.jpg


euro trip! :lawl:

When she offers to go car shopping with you, you know she's a keeper for sure :fullofwin:

Only 6 days into 2014 and I already want to fucking jump off a bridge.

first day of school. i see you again after all that bs.
only caught a glimpse of you, but you looked sad. now im sad too...

lol college sucks

It's like because I'm the most recent one to have been dumped, all my close friends are coming to me for coping advice... Come on, just live your life; stay busy and keep your mind off it. Don't let it crush you.