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chouchou 12-22-2014 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiger_handheld (Post 8571554)

yes. the moment this lightbulb went on in my head, my relationships with females became genuine and it led to an awesome romantic relationship with another female [disclosure: this relationship has now ended but it was epic while it lasted].

never had the urge or thoughts of physical intimacy with your genuine female friends?

... or perhaps you need to elaborate on the epic-ness

Akinari 12-22-2014 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fafine (Post 8571778)
no point in arguing with your parents bra
just leave the house and let them calm down.
don't like it? move out. simple.

Quote:

Originally Posted by l2_narain (Post 8572056)
Time to move out. At this point you need to grow with new experiences and your folks need to as well. Long-term it will work out..

I've been fully aware that moving out is really my only option of escaping the one single negative aspect of my current life, but if only it were that easy. Life away from home is heaven, life at home is always hell and it's quite literally the only source where negative things pop out from in my life.

Full-time school, student loans, barely working enough part-time hours to scrape by, doesn't exactly spell out "move out and independently support yourself for the rest of your life away from home cutting off all parental interactions in Vancouver"

I've been stuck in this never-ending pendulum of going back and forth between tolerating my mum's emotional instability and complete utter inability to compromise on anything, and wanting to just drop the fucking ball on everything and start over from scratch, meaning dropping school, moving out, getting a full-time job, just working and leading my own life that I want.

I don't have any friends close enough to me that would understand the current situation I'm in, only those who would sympathize but not truly try and lend a hand. Being Asian, any close Asian friends I have have parents that, after learning about my situation, would not want their kids be close with. Parents in general, when they hear about problem kids, even if they are able to lend a hand to help, they choose not to, I have firsthand experience and it's a very frustrating thing to deal with.

It's really the shittiest feeling in the world knowing that none of your actions are going to be appreciated in the house you live in by your parents, yet you still cling onto the hope that perhaps things will get better, when in fact nothing has improved over the last couple years and is only getting worse...

kross9 12-22-2014 01:23 PM

I have something very similar with my best friend, his mum and dad split up he lives at home with his mum and sister, and she works up north for months at a time. And has the same sort of relationship with his parents. So shit hits the fan when shes home and away. but he cannot leave due to school or his sister either.

I sort of understand your situation since my friend and are close and live 2 minutes from each other. Best of luck to be you through, be strong.

ZN6 12-22-2014 01:57 PM

I moved out while in university in my senior year, like age 22 with student debt amassing and working 2 jobs; one at London Drugs and one as a tutor. Haven't looked back since.

No support fom my mom, alway with he telling me she never wanted me, found me by the garbage can and I'm lucky I'm alive because of her etc. etc. constantly getting put down and psychologically beating on me in any way possible saying I'm worthless like my dad. Told me I'm wasting my money on food, told me not to eat, never got me clothing as a kid. During parent teacher conference in grade 7, the teacher was like: "WTF why is your kid wearing shorts in the snow?!". Blamed it on me being too lazy to put on clothing.

Get this:

My friend tells me about this lady at his work place that always talks about her kid not being able to succeed and how disappointed in her son she was and how it was a mistake to have a second child and wish he was never around and can't get remarried because of the kid. My friend along with a few of his co-workers tell me how annoying and weird she is when all she can do is bitch and complain about her kid. My friend told me her name and guess what? It was my fuckin' mom. My friend was pretty shocked to learn that it was me she was talking about all along as he thought I was doing pretty okay in life.

Well, I grew up, got a decent job, own my own place as soon as it's built and another rental property in downtown earning rental in come to help cover my new place. I raise money for charity, finished university and got a designation worth something and I don't plan to stop learning.

Thanks mom, for nothing. If you didn't want to have me, should have just fucking off'd me the moment you knew you were preggo with me and making excuses for your failures.

So Akinari, trust me when I say this, I feel you, brah. I haven't seen my mom in 7 years, I want nothing to do with her. Cut the ties that hold you down.

ZN6 12-22-2014 02:13 PM

I'd also like to add that the wound is deepest when you hear about family talking the worst shit possible about their own flesh and blood that just happens to be yourself from someone else outside the family.

JAYWALKER 12-22-2014 05:09 PM

i need to start a new life somewhere, there's nothing left for me here anymore...

yeah right.. :okay:

or not. :accepted:

Armind 12-22-2014 08:54 PM


604778 12-22-2014 10:19 PM

I need a break for all this bull shit.

nabs 12-22-2014 10:23 PM

Every time I have time to myself, to do nothing, i get so antsy, and feel like im wasting time, and feel like I have to be doing something.... why does this happen to me??? and I hardly get free time, do I not know how to relax?

NotDatGai 12-22-2014 10:31 PM

mother who I barely ever talk to, unless she wants something from me, is coming to town with her boyfriend tomorrow. Brother who believes he is the centre of the universe will be around the next few days... Gotta try my hardest to keep myself from exploding in anger.
Definitely going to be an interesting Christmas this year.

Armind 12-22-2014 10:31 PM

+1

I like to live my life on the go..

Quote:

Originally Posted by nabs (Post 8572442)
Every time I have time to myself, to do nothing, i get so antsy, and feel like im wasting time, and feel like I have to be doing something.... why does this happen to me??? and I hardly get free time, do I not know how to relax?


k2damax 12-23-2014 03:01 AM

Am I just holding onto nothing....

Godzira 12-23-2014 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chouchou (Post 8571419)
hmm.. can men and women really just be friends?

yes.

kross9 12-23-2014 02:34 PM

final offer came im on the job, took the lower paying one. more room for growth plus its only like a 5 minute drive or 30 min bike ride =D

kakucaekz 12-23-2014 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godzira (Post 8572557)
yes.

Glad someone agrees; a couple of my absolute best friends are girls. Inb4frandzond

etodac 12-23-2014 09:41 PM

desperation is probably the most unattractive trait. it isn't cute, it's off putting when someone has such low self-esteem. I know you have it rough, but that doesn't mean you should be so desperate for attention and love.

SpeedStars 12-23-2014 11:32 PM

So I kept telling myself I was over you. Then somehow I encountered you today and tried to initiate a normal conversation between two adults. You brushed me off and that is when I realized I still am not done and it fucking hurts when you ignored me. SO FUCK YOU.

dvst8 12-24-2014 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akinari (Post 8571772)
What a fucking week of absolute shit.

Batshit crazy mum went into some kind of insane unprovoked emotional turmoil and called the cops on me for apparently "not listening to her and threatening her authority" after I came home without bringing her dinner. I literally shit y'all not. Zero exaggeration.

Was going to bring her shopping. She gets pissed in the middle of the day because when walking our dog, he ran away and wouldn't come back. She comes home after walking the dog hella pissed, goes to her room and slams the door saying she's not going anywhere anymore. I tell her, if she's not going to the US, I'm going to head out with friends, she says suit yourself go anywhere you please.

I leave at 3:30, come home at 9:30, mum goes into some kind of delusional trance and starts screaming at me at the top of her lungs and trying to be physically aggressive with me literally as soon as I step into the door and put my car keys down. I have no choice but to yell back asking what in the fucking world is wrong with her.

She ends up calling the police, two officers come and attempt to sort the situation out, one speaks to them, the other speaks with me.

After this 15 minute ordeal, the officers essentially just tell me to leave the house for the night to let my mum calm her shit down and prepare a long term goal to move out from the house.

One of the officers happened to be of Asian descent and told my parents off about how they have to respect the ways of the country and those who were born and raised liberally as opposed to the Asian way and essentially implied that they don't want to come back to the residence to do family counselling again.

Still pretty shocked and completely embarrassed to be sharing all this shit.

Was THE MOST awkward 40-50 seconds of my life being escorted out of my apartment down the elevators in complete silence as the officers got off at the main floor and I proceeded to the parkade. One of the officers followed my car for a few blocks to make sure I wasn't going back to the apartment before he turned into a side street as I made my way to a friend's house for the evening.

:facepalm:

I really have nothing left to say.

Tough times man, especially when its your mother that's giving you grief. Something drastic needs to change. Either she gets help or you move out. Until then, these situations will continue. Time to make some sacrifices. The sooner it happens, the better your lives will be.


Good luck

Godzira 12-24-2014 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kakucaekz (Post 8572773)
Glad someone agrees; a couple of my absolute best friends are girls. Inb4frandzond

same. since elementary my best friends have been a mix between boys and girls.

Tone Loc 12-24-2014 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chouchou (Post 8572192)
never had the urge or thoughts of physical intimacy with your genuine female friends?

... or perhaps you need to elaborate on the epic-ness

This... IMO men and women can be friends if both people are ugly. Not "ugly" physically, but "ugly" as in the other person doesn't find the other person attractive. I had a smoking hot female "best friend" for a couple of years but once I was single and she was single (we both had S.O's through the majority of this friendship) the sexual tension was very palpable. I wouldn't say I developed feelings per-se, but did I want to fuck her brains out? Absolutely...

illwdt 12-25-2014 09:14 AM

... Oh where has the sparks gone.

6793026 12-25-2014 10:33 AM

^ re-create it. if you can fall in love, you can fall out of love. go re-spark it my man.

monkeywrench 12-26-2014 02:13 AM

I can now officially say fuck you without a single care in the feels.

Qmx323 12-26-2014 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 6793026 (Post 8573235)
^ re-create it. if you can fall in love, you can fall out of love. go re-spark it my man.

Nothing is as magical as the first time it happens

:QQ::QQ::QQ::alone:

SpeedStars 12-26-2014 09:04 PM



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