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... or perhaps you need to elaborate on the epic-ness |
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Full-time school, student loans, barely working enough part-time hours to scrape by, doesn't exactly spell out "move out and independently support yourself for the rest of your life away from home cutting off all parental interactions in Vancouver" I've been stuck in this never-ending pendulum of going back and forth between tolerating my mum's emotional instability and complete utter inability to compromise on anything, and wanting to just drop the fucking ball on everything and start over from scratch, meaning dropping school, moving out, getting a full-time job, just working and leading my own life that I want. I don't have any friends close enough to me that would understand the current situation I'm in, only those who would sympathize but not truly try and lend a hand. Being Asian, any close Asian friends I have have parents that, after learning about my situation, would not want their kids be close with. Parents in general, when they hear about problem kids, even if they are able to lend a hand to help, they choose not to, I have firsthand experience and it's a very frustrating thing to deal with. It's really the shittiest feeling in the world knowing that none of your actions are going to be appreciated in the house you live in by your parents, yet you still cling onto the hope that perhaps things will get better, when in fact nothing has improved over the last couple years and is only getting worse... |
I have something very similar with my best friend, his mum and dad split up he lives at home with his mum and sister, and she works up north for months at a time. And has the same sort of relationship with his parents. So shit hits the fan when shes home and away. but he cannot leave due to school or his sister either. I sort of understand your situation since my friend and are close and live 2 minutes from each other. Best of luck to be you through, be strong. |
I moved out while in university in my senior year, like age 22 with student debt amassing and working 2 jobs; one at London Drugs and one as a tutor. Haven't looked back since. No support fom my mom, alway with he telling me she never wanted me, found me by the garbage can and I'm lucky I'm alive because of her etc. etc. constantly getting put down and psychologically beating on me in any way possible saying I'm worthless like my dad. Told me I'm wasting my money on food, told me not to eat, never got me clothing as a kid. During parent teacher conference in grade 7, the teacher was like: "WTF why is your kid wearing shorts in the snow?!". Blamed it on me being too lazy to put on clothing. Get this: My friend tells me about this lady at his work place that always talks about her kid not being able to succeed and how disappointed in her son she was and how it was a mistake to have a second child and wish he was never around and can't get remarried because of the kid. My friend along with a few of his co-workers tell me how annoying and weird she is when all she can do is bitch and complain about her kid. My friend told me her name and guess what? It was my fuckin' mom. My friend was pretty shocked to learn that it was me she was talking about all along as he thought I was doing pretty okay in life. Well, I grew up, got a decent job, own my own place as soon as it's built and another rental property in downtown earning rental in come to help cover my new place. I raise money for charity, finished university and got a designation worth something and I don't plan to stop learning. Thanks mom, for nothing. If you didn't want to have me, should have just fucking off'd me the moment you knew you were preggo with me and making excuses for your failures. So Akinari, trust me when I say this, I feel you, brah. I haven't seen my mom in 7 years, I want nothing to do with her. Cut the ties that hold you down. |
I'd also like to add that the wound is deepest when you hear about family talking the worst shit possible about their own flesh and blood that just happens to be yourself from someone else outside the family. |
i need to start a new life somewhere, there's nothing left for me here anymore... yeah right.. :okay: or not. :accepted: |
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I need a break for all this bull shit. |
Every time I have time to myself, to do nothing, i get so antsy, and feel like im wasting time, and feel like I have to be doing something.... why does this happen to me??? and I hardly get free time, do I not know how to relax? |
mother who I barely ever talk to, unless she wants something from me, is coming to town with her boyfriend tomorrow. Brother who believes he is the centre of the universe will be around the next few days... Gotta try my hardest to keep myself from exploding in anger. Definitely going to be an interesting Christmas this year. |
+1 I like to live my life on the go.. Quote:
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Am I just holding onto nothing.... |
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final offer came im on the job, took the lower paying one. more room for growth plus its only like a 5 minute drive or 30 min bike ride =D |
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desperation is probably the most unattractive trait. it isn't cute, it's off putting when someone has such low self-esteem. I know you have it rough, but that doesn't mean you should be so desperate for attention and love. |
So I kept telling myself I was over you. Then somehow I encountered you today and tried to initiate a normal conversation between two adults. You brushed me off and that is when I realized I still am not done and it fucking hurts when you ignored me. SO FUCK YOU. |
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Good luck |
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... Oh where has the sparks gone. |
^ re-create it. if you can fall in love, you can fall out of love. go re-spark it my man. |
I can now officially say fuck you without a single care in the feels. |
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:QQ::QQ::QQ::alone: |
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