Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE! The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... | | |
06-14-2015, 09:22 AM
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#20826 | I am Hook'd on RS
Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 73
Thanked 23 Times in 10 Posts
Failed 2 Times in 2 Posts
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Sorry for the constant venting guise...
So I told her how I felt last night, and she told me she wasn't interested. I hate when girls lie... She said "I'd rather not have a summer thing that we are doing just because we are bored" blah blah blah... Then as I keep talking in that mostly silent car ride, turns out she wasn't "physically attracted". Didn't eat last night and couldn't sleep, I don't know what to do right now. She said she likes me and would like to continue hanging out as friends (ouch, I know) and I like her too...
Do you guys think I should continue as her friend, maybe her feelings will change later on? Or is it better to let go.......
I can't control the colour of my brown skin, my looks, height, etc. but I just don't get the reason why I am rejected more often than I am given a "yes"
Edit: I wasn't head over heels for her, I liked her slightly, this was just something that I wanted to do
Last edited by rzrshrp; 06-14-2015 at 09:28 AM.
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06-14-2015, 09:28 AM
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#20827 | MiX iT Up!
Join Date: May 2006 Location: vancouver
Posts: 8,135
Thanked 2,068 Times in 866 Posts
Failed 642 Times in 183 Posts
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Originally Posted by rzrshrp Sorry for the constant venting guise...
So I told her how I felt last night, and she told me she wasn't interested. I hate when girls lie... She said "I'd rather not have a summer thing that we are doing just because we are bored" blah blah blah... Then as I keep talking in that mostly silent car ride, turns out she wasn't "physically attracted". Didn't eat last night and couldn't sleep, I don't know what to do right now. She said she likes me and would like to continue hanging out as friends (ouch, I know) and I like her too...
Do you guys think I should continue as her friend, maybe her feelings will change later on? Or is it better to let go.......
I can't control the colour of my brown skin, my looks, height, etc. but I just don't get the reason why I am rejected more often than I am given a "yes" | She likes the idea of having a human male body to do activities with but she does not like you.
Every time you hang out with her it'll feel like a one way relationship and she will more likley than not will exploit your kindness.
If you want to be the meantime guy..keep hanging out, but know that you are missing out whatever else is out there!
__________________ Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.
Make the effort and take the risk.. "Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt |
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06-14-2015, 10:00 AM
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#20828 | I am Hook'd on RS
Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 73
Thanked 23 Times in 10 Posts
Failed 2 Times in 2 Posts
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Originally Posted by tiger_handheld She likes the idea of having a human male body to do activities with but she does not like you.
Every time you hang out with her it'll feel like a one way relationship and she will more likley than not will exploit your kindness.
If you want to be the meantime guy..keep hanging out, but know that you are missing out whatever else is out there! |
Well to be honest, she has done so already... I just don't understnd how I can not be the "nice guy" without being a total asshole.
We have a lot of mutual friends, and I feel she would be a good friend to have (she knows a lot of other single girls), but like I said I wasn't too invested in the first place. It was sort of something to get over boredom this summer tbh, but that was a crude reality check lol.
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06-14-2015, 05:34 PM
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#20829 | Need to Seek Professional Help
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 1,036
Thanked 1,820 Times in 501 Posts
Failed 57 Times in 27 Posts
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Originally Posted by rzrshrp Well to be honest, she has done so already... I just don't understnd how I can not be the "nice guy" without being a total asshole. | Girls don't NOT like "nice guys".
They don't like beta guys, as in guys who bend over backwards and do everything under the sun for a girl, like buying her expensive gifts, catering to her every want, and never leaving her alone because they think it'll win them her affection. AKA your typical "white knight" who radiates desperation and clingyness because oftentimes, he has nothing else on his plate except trying to get this one girl. And it's a massive turn-off.
Only these ^ beta guys think that "girls only like assholes".
Because "asshole" guys tend to have the following characteristics: they are aloof, generally don't give a fuck, are confident, relaxed, and don't let most things bother them. And girls like that because it DOESN'T reek of desperation and clingyness. I.e., they don't smother girls with attention, don't excessively chase women, and most of all they act as though they are the catch. They don't waste months and months going after the same girl with zero result. No, you just want to be friends? On to the next one, not camp outside her bedroom window and blow her kisses at 3AM.
The best way to attract quality women is to live in such a way that they think you can live without them. Just my $0.02
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06-14-2015, 10:45 PM
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#20830 | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: The Fruit Loops
Posts: 3,628
Thanked 7,520 Times in 2,038 Posts
Failed 173 Times in 83 Posts
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Originally Posted by ScizzMoney Starting to feel I have to rob the cradle. Women my own age (33) that are single are fucking crazy. | I find the ones who spam their social media pages with motivational quotes & posters to be the most batshit insane people I've ever had to deal with.
But the irony keeps me giggling.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by GS8 When I think about ewe, I touch myself | |
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06-14-2015, 11:15 PM
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#20831 | Need to Seek Professional Help
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,024
Thanked 1,161 Times in 301 Posts
Failed 101 Times in 35 Posts
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whoever hit and ran after hitting my mirrors at harbour centre's parking lot,
I hope you'll slowly die from genital hemorrhage, while being tied down to a chair as someone rip apart your nails from each of your finger and toes all while watching your mother being forcefully stuffed with dirty ecstacy pills and having only std infected semen of DTES junkies to down it with. After that your teeth will be knocked out with a hammer and have your eyeballs blow torched off
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06-15-2015, 03:07 PM
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#20832 | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Tres Ciudades
Posts: 5,407
Thanked 3,680 Times in 1,522 Posts
Failed 150 Times in 53 Posts
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I'm sick of school.
Why am i paying for something that makes me so goddamned miserable?
5 years of undergrad was more than enough.
The purpose of all these PT courses was supposed to be to dip my feet and pick up a few skills, not fucking dread every fucking week wasting time on stupid assignments, dry as shit readings and god-forsaken projects.
This is my biggest gripe with post-secondary education. Seems like its 90% bullshit and 10% actual learning. When i look over to the desks beside me and notice others' notes as "possible exam question..." it makes me fucking lol because that epitomizes exactly what the fuck is wrong with the fucking system. Instead of the focus being on learning and developing new skills all these fucking piece of shit courses instead force me to focus on passing. I ain't learning shit from useless theoretical lectures and discussions. Shut the fuck up.
The best news is that at least I'm not that deep into it. There's still time to quit. Fuck this shit. I'm out.
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06-15-2015, 07:40 PM
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#20833 | I am Hook'd on RS
Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 73
Thanked 23 Times in 10 Posts
Failed 2 Times in 2 Posts
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Originally Posted by FunkyColdMedina Girls don't NOT like "nice guys".
They don't like beta guys, as in guys who bend over backwards and do everything under the sun for a girl, like buying her expensive gifts, catering to her every want, and never leaving her alone because they think it'll win them her affection. AKA your typical "white knight" who radiates desperation and clingyness because oftentimes, he has nothing else on his plate except trying to get this one girl. And it's a massive turn-off.
Only these ^ beta guys think that "girls only like assholes".
Because "asshole" guys tend to have the following characteristics: they are aloof, generally don't give a fuck, are confident, relaxed, and don't let most things bother them. And girls like that because it DOESN'T reek of desperation and clingyness. I.e., they don't smother girls with attention, don't excessively chase women, and most of all they act as though they are the catch. They don't waste months and months going after the same girl with zero result. No, you just want to be friends? On to the next one, not camp outside her bedroom window and blow her kisses at 3AM.
The best way to attract quality women is to live in such a way that they think you can live without them. Just my $0.02 | To be honest, I didn't do any of that so it feels good. I was so proud of myself for putting myself out there...
But I hate losing friends like this. We liked each other as friends too, and we had fun every time we hung out. Oh well, on to the next one. Quote:
Originally Posted by 6o4__boi I'm sick of school.
Why am i paying for something that makes me so goddamned miserable?
5 years of undergrad was more than enough.
The purpose of all these PT courses was supposed to be to dip my feet and pick up a few skills, not fucking dread every fucking week wasting time on stupid assignments, dry as shit readings and god-forsaken projects.
This is my biggest gripe with post-secondary education. Seems like its 90% bullshit and 10% actual learning. When i look over to the desks beside me and notice others' notes as "possible exam question..." it makes me fucking lol because that epitomizes exactly what the fuck is wrong with the fucking system. Instead of the focus being on learning and developing new skills all these fucking piece of shit courses instead force me to focus on passing. I ain't learning shit from useless theoretical lectures and discussions. Shut the fuck up.
The best news is that at least I'm not that deep into it. There's still time to quit. Fuck this shit. I'm out. | This. Also the reason why I am taking the summer off and working. Thank you.
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06-16-2015, 07:31 AM
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#20834 | ESKETIT
Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Shambhala
Posts: 23,337
Thanked 9,689 Times in 2,321 Posts
Failed 997 Times in 240 Posts
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06-16-2015, 12:34 PM
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#20835 | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: The Fruit Loops
Posts: 3,628
Thanked 7,520 Times in 2,038 Posts
Failed 173 Times in 83 Posts
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Originally Posted by 6o4__boi I'm sick of school.
Why am i paying for something that makes me so goddamned miserable?
5 years of undergrad was more than enough.
The purpose of all these PT courses was supposed to be to dip my feet and pick up a few skills, not fucking dread every fucking week wasting time on stupid assignments, dry as shit readings and god-forsaken projects.
This is my biggest gripe with post-secondary education. Seems like its 90% bullshit and 10% actual learning. When i look over to the desks beside me and notice others' notes as "possible exam question..." it makes me fucking lol because that epitomizes exactly what the fuck is wrong with the fucking system. Instead of the focus being on learning and developing new skills all these fucking piece of shit courses instead force me to focus on passing. I ain't learning shit from useless theoretical lectures and discussions. Shut the fuck up.
The best news is that at least I'm not that deep into it. There's still time to quit. Fuck this shit. I'm out. | I have two degrees but this was ages ago. Tuition and supplies overall were cheaper and even then the whole struggle didn't seem worth the minimal benefit I got when all was said and done.
In short, I vowed never to go back to school. It is mostly bullshit, for profit, nonsensical time wasting crap.
I found that I could have done as well if not better had I just volunteered at organizations and gained experience the natural way. Through HANDS ON training and actual mental stimulation. I could never ever feel stimulated at school unless I was cramming for an exam or some random ass project.
And we wonder why college kids are so stressed and medicated (in some cases)? Way too much pressure to put on people still trying to discover their professional place in life. Seems too many programs are saturated in BS and the relevant content gets lost.
Now I learn through other means thanks to technology and I've also secured great employment through volunteering.
School never helped me at all except to siphon out my bank account and make me age quicker.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by GS8 When I think about ewe, I touch myself | |
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06-16-2015, 12:50 PM
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#20836 | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: May 2005 Location: #604
Posts: 2,267
Thanked 2,454 Times in 813 Posts
Failed 146 Times in 72 Posts
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^^ Downside is, now-a-days employers all look for that title. Whether it be a "Degree/Diploma/Certificate" they want it & you better have 5 years experience.
Thus why I've got 2 certificates in drafting & design (diploma equivalent) and I'm going back for an associates certificate in Building Technology and most likely another certificate in Construction Management..
I'm 25 and I regret not getting a degree from BCIT.
__________________ Quote: [17-03, 09:23] Amuro Ray is it normal for my dick to have things growing on it? | Quote: [15-05, 13:34] FastAnna You guise are like diet coke and I am the mentos
[15-05, 13:34] FastAnna Incredible. How easy it is. | Quote:
Originally Posted by murd0c I'm scared of spiders... When I see one I toss my cats at it | |
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06-16-2015, 02:48 PM
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#20837 | My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Van
Posts: 1,805
Thanked 1,731 Times in 649 Posts
Failed 104 Times in 37 Posts
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Originally Posted by rzrshrp Sorry for the constant venting guise...
So I told her how I felt last night, and she told me she wasn't interested. I hate when girls lie... She said "I'd rather not have a summer thing that we are doing just because we are bored" blah blah blah... Then as I keep talking in that mostly silent car ride, turns out she wasn't "physically attracted". Didn't eat last night and couldn't sleep, I don't know what to do right now. She said she likes me and would like to continue hanging out as friends (ouch, I know) and I like her too...
Do you guys think I should continue as her friend, maybe her feelings will change later on? Or is it better to let go.......
I can't control the colour of my brown skin, my looks, height, etc. but I just don't get the reason why I am rejected more often than I am given a "yes"
Edit: I wasn't head over heels for her, I liked her slightly, this was just something that I wanted to do |
I cringed when I saw your post about your outing, I'm cringing even harder when I read this. You know what I'm reading? A wall of excuses.
I dunno what happened on your "date" but you make it out to sound like a pretty horrible experience from her end. If you didn't have a good conversation going AND you barely knew her, why would you even ask when you should contact her when it ended only a few hours ago? That reeks of desperation which any person, guy or girl would find repulsive.
It ain't the color of your skin, or your height or your looks as long as you look and are pretty average. If she doesn't think she will be romantically involved with you, it's because you have nothing interesting to talk to her about, hence your forced date-conversation. Not being attracted to you physically was the easy way out for her.
If you have any hint of her not being interested, you should not be spilling your heart out. How do you gauge her interest? Well, if the number of happy moments are outweighed the number of awkward, forced conversation type moments, you should know she ain't that into you and if you make that leap, she is definitely gonna boot you in the face. Don't get me wrong, even if the number of happy moments out weigh the awkward moments, there's still a good chance that she will boot you in the face but there would be less chance of that happening. Another good sign that she is not interested is that she keeps her distance when walking with you and there's no attempt for her to physically get close to you.
When I go out with a girl I intend to get together with, after a few times going out with her, if she has made physical contact with me a few times, I will do the same and make contact with her until I eventually reach for her hand and hold it. Even then, it takes time for them to get to know you aren't a serial killer by talking with you and having some engaging conversation. Everything is built up slowly. Nothing in a relationship is instantaneous. I ask the girls I go out with more questions than they ask me to try and get to know them and then I let them bounce back with something to say and let the conversation build over time and establishing who this person is and what they like. You gotta learn some patience and chill out. You know how fishing lures work? If you make movements too sudden and unnatural, you scare all the mother fucking fish away, and then you're gonna go home with a bucket of rocks to eat for the night. If you slowly work the lure in a slow and calculated way and temped fish into biting, eventually you will get a hit.
From the sounds of it, you jumped the gun way too fast and you came off as desperate and got rejected, simple as that. Let me internet-Sherlock this for a bit: So you went out with her on the 4th of June, then you go ahead and tell her how you feel on the 13th. By my poor finger counting, that's 9 days from when you posted last about your first date on June 4th. So in reality, you only dated her for maybe 8 days? Too soon, Junior. So the paradox is this: Learn patience, quickly.
Well, on to the next. Hope that was a good learning experience. Since you've already spilled your guts for her, being her friend will inevitably end sooner or later when she finds a guy to date. Trust me, when she finds another guy, it's gonna hurt you when she doesn't even want to talk to you.
So like you said, on your date, you didn't even know her much, so what's the point of keeping in contact? Being her friend because she has a lot of single friends is not going to help you. So many guys think this is such an awesome thing, but in reality it is quite possibly the most beta thing to do. If you are banking on her setting you up with one of them, you're just gonna remain one of her play things. She got power over you.
Are you gonna be emotionally attached to a girl who doesn't want you and who you barely know? Just take the hit and move on. Like I said before, go out and do shit and experience the world beyond work, it will make you less boring to be around.
Last edited by ZN6; 06-16-2015 at 04:23 PM.
Reason: Some things said were a bit too harsh.
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06-16-2015, 09:31 PM
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#20838 | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,157
Thanked 1,346 Times in 589 Posts
Failed 149 Times in 56 Posts
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I swore and vow to never have relationships with anyone from work since it can fuck someone over down the road if something sour in a relationship happens (Eg. Breakup on bad terms).
Out of curiosity, anyone of you guys date a girl/guy from work or know of anyone? Worked out well? Or failed miserably?
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06-16-2015, 09:40 PM
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#20839 | My name is Michael. J. Caboose, and I hate BABIES!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: MoI
Posts: 6,576
Thanked 1,421 Times in 678 Posts
Failed 71 Times in 51 Posts
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I dated someone I worked with a few years ago. It didn't end well and he eventually transferred because neither of us was comfortable working with the other.
__________________
"Can you match my resolve? If so then you will succeed. I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavour to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve." -- Monty Oum Quote:
Originally Posted by STATUS105 IF I FIND YOU
I WILL EAT YOUR RICE! | |
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06-16-2015, 10:20 PM
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#20840 | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Tres Ciudades
Posts: 5,407
Thanked 3,680 Times in 1,522 Posts
Failed 150 Times in 53 Posts
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Lol my fiancee used to be my supervisor at our previous jobs so u can say it worked out well.
Some people live by the absolute rule of never dating anyone they work with.
It makes sense to a certain extent...it's one of those things were uve gotta let the pros and cons simmer for some time. Either way, whatever decision you make, make sure you've planned and prepared for the worst case and you'll do just dandy.
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06-17-2015, 12:05 AM
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#20841 | Mod.
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: east vanner
Posts: 7,134
Thanked 1,769 Times in 684 Posts
Failed 87 Times in 28 Posts
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I hope I don't see you over the course of the next 5 days.
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06-17-2015, 09:09 AM
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#20842 | My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Van
Posts: 1,805
Thanked 1,731 Times in 649 Posts
Failed 104 Times in 37 Posts
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Originally Posted by Euro7r I swore and vow to never have relationships with anyone from work since it can fuck someone over down the road if something sour in a relationship happens (Eg. Breakup on bad terms).
Out of curiosity, anyone of you guys date a girl/guy from work or know of anyone? Worked out well? Or failed miserably? | I dated someone from work, it worked out very well because our department got laid off a few months after we started dating. I found work elsewhere and she got recalled to work so it kinda worked out.
It was easier to date while working at the lab because she worked a different shift so we never really got to see each other at work. In retrospect, if we broke up while working in the same place, it would have been awful, actually.
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06-17-2015, 05:50 PM
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#20843 | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,157
Thanked 1,346 Times in 589 Posts
Failed 149 Times in 56 Posts
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Originally Posted by Inaii I dated someone I worked with a few years ago. It didn't end well and he eventually transferred because neither of us was comfortable working with the other. | Quote:
Originally Posted by ZN6 I dated someone from work, it worked out very well because our department got laid off a few months after we started dating. I found work elsewhere and she got recalled to work so it kinda worked out.
It was easier to date while working at the lab because she worked a different shift so we never really got to see each other at work. In retrospect, if we broke up while working in the same place, it would have been awful, actually. | If the company is huge, then it's probably okay since you may be working in a different department or even floor. But if the company is small, it can be tricky to manage around.
I'm just exploring my options in terms of curiosity sake as I've still stood by, no dating at work as it can create gossip and havoc, considering I work with 95% women...
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06-17-2015, 11:37 PM
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#20844 | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Richmond
Posts: 2,224
Thanked 1,207 Times in 432 Posts
Failed 203 Times in 83 Posts
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don't shit where you eat
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06-17-2015, 11:58 PM
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#20845 | I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Vαncouver
Posts: 1,510
Thanked 5,279 Times in 603 Posts
Failed 355 Times in 79 Posts
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Buddies are always asking about my career path, and every step I take towards policing elicits hints of disapproval from them... like, they wanna be happy for me and shit, but I can hear it in their voices and see it in their eyes
Fuck, I'm gonna be losing a lot of friends
__________________ ♠♥♣♦ |
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06-18-2015, 12:06 AM
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#20846 | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,368
Thanked 5,225 Times in 1,389 Posts
Failed 376 Times in 130 Posts
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You're buying me too many things
__________________ [13-03, 11:25] MG1 when you hit the brakes, it shoots cum at pedestrian - bukkake
[12-03, 19:06] meme405 That e30 is so mexiflushed I thought we were in albuquerque
[12-03, 23:03] rb when i see a modded element. I have nothing but respect. either the parents kicked him out or the guy is killing hookers in the back |
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06-18-2015, 12:13 AM
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#20847 | 14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 661
Thanked 100 Times in 63 Posts
Failed 125 Times in 21 Posts
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I wanna make paper with you but I don't wanna see you get a girlfriend...
Sigh I don't wanna pull out cause the paper is too good....
But I will be hurt fuck...
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06-19-2015, 01:10 AM
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#20848 | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,368
Thanked 5,225 Times in 1,389 Posts
Failed 376 Times in 130 Posts
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Getting race header installed and test pipe custom fabbed next week. Don't know why but I am extremely excited as to what the outcome will be like CAN'T WAIT
__________________ [13-03, 11:25] MG1 when you hit the brakes, it shoots cum at pedestrian - bukkake
[12-03, 19:06] meme405 That e30 is so mexiflushed I thought we were in albuquerque
[12-03, 23:03] rb when i see a modded element. I have nothing but respect. either the parents kicked him out or the guy is killing hookers in the back |
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06-19-2015, 08:31 PM
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#20849 | 14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: Richmond
Posts: 666
Thanked 940 Times in 233 Posts
Failed 95 Times in 23 Posts
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Well last night was interesting..!
__________________
About kkthind: [22-12, 22:55] ts14 hes so white that if he was a cop, he would beat ts14 for beinng surrey
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06-19-2015, 09:37 PM
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#20850 | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Vancouver DT
Posts: 4,322
Thanked 2,797 Times in 916 Posts
Failed 1,257 Times in 270 Posts
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IT's her first time for anything.....
But she Wants the Oral first thing
Any tips???
__________________
Fly Your Own Flag.
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