Speak it Out

[muteki]

People in this circle disgust me. Both mentally and physically.

[GS8]

Been single for 8 years and still no desire to commit. I think I move too fast for people to catch up. Have had plenty of flings but no desire (from either of us) to move forward. As I age, I find myself fragmenting from the rest of the social and cultural norms.

But 2015 has been one of the most active years of my life (positive for once). New changes, new revelations, new frontiers of exploration. Maybe one day, I'll find someone to journey with but for now, I'm okay with traveling solo. I'll always have a pen, paper and a mirror to remind me of who I am.

[hk20000]

damn my wish I wished upon a waterfall under a rubber duckie got realized. But not exactly how I imagined it...

[wontons]

where have you been my whole life. not many girls can have a conversation with me and keep me interested. you're so dope.

[PK-EK]

Originally Posted by wontons

where have you been my whole life. not many girls can have a conversation with me and keep me interested. you're so dope.

Watch out, sounds like you're slowly creeping into the friendzone

[BeeBeeAhn]

1 mat leave. one person on sick leave. 1 quitting. and one person on vacation for 3 weeks. how am i going to survive work for the little while? YAY STRESS!!!!!

[!e.lo_]

Originally Posted by GS8

Spoiler!

Been single for 8 years and still no desire to commit. I think I move too fast for people to catch up. Have had plenty of flings but no desire (from either of us) to move forward. As I age, I find myself fragmenting from the rest of the social and cultural norms.

But 2015 has been one of the most active years of my life (positive for once). New changes, new revelations, new frontiers of exploration. Maybe one day, I'll find someone to journey with but for now, I'm okay with traveling solo. I'll always have a pen, paper and a mirror to remind me of who I am.

Hey I'm just trailing at 7. and it's really been happier times single than dating.

Honestly, if you can be happy as a single, then you're probably better in that position. Those who can grow as an individual and love themselves, are those who are great in relationships. They go into a relationship wanting to be there instead of feeling the need to fill a void.

[Energy]

Bar exams

[rzrshrp]

Ok I have a srs question for you all.

Do you think it's worth dating outside your race? For example for me, as a south-asian brown-skinned male I have come to learn that we are basically near the bottom of the dating hierarchy :/

But for me, personally, I don't go for girls based on their race (that is an afterthought, if anything) I usually try to date girls I click with and am attracted to (physical/personality/ambition/etc.). Living in a part of town where there are many east asian people has led me to have around my social circle of ~80% east asian friends. This naturally leads me to date in these social circles (outside my race).

As a 20 y/o my parents are starting to pressure me about marriage, and they say they will basically not talk to me anymore if I marry outside my race.

I guess my question to you all is, is it worth it to date/marry outside your race? It is probably 100x harder to date outside my race for me, and I don't know how well it works out (east asian and south asian cultures are different). If I bring home an asian/white/whatever race gf, my parents will not take it very well but if it doesn't work out with her I will be at a loss for both sides.

The problem is, is that my culture does not allow dating so openly and as a result the females are secluded from the males. So I don't know many girls of my own race (mostly guys).

I don't understand, I see people dating outside their race but rarely do they get married. It seems that it is just something that is done for fun? The most common interracial couple I have seen is white/asian, or maybe I need to get out more.

Any input is appreciated, I am confused

[ts14]

I'm getting married.... Okay

[pinn3r]

Originally Posted by rzrshrp

Ok I have a srs question for you all.

Do you think it's worth dating outside your race? For example for me, as a south-asian brown-skinned male I have come to learn that we are basically near the bottom of the dating hierarchy :/

But for me, personally, I don't go for girls based on their race (that is an afterthought, if anything) I usually try to date girls I click with and am attracted to (physical/personality/ambition/etc.). Living in a part of town where there are many east asian people has led me to have around my social circle of ~80% east asian friends. This naturally leads me to date in these social circles (outside my race).

As a 20 y/o my parents are starting to pressure me about marriage, and they say they will basically not talk to me anymore if I marry outside my race.

I guess my question to you all is, is it worth it to date/marry outside your race? It is probably 100x harder to date outside my race for me, and I don't know how well it works out (east asian and south asian cultures are different). If I bring home an asian/white/whatever race gf, my parents will not take it very well but if it doesn't work out with her I will be at a loss for both sides.

The problem is, is that my culture does not allow dating so openly and as a result the females are secluded from the males. So I don't know many girls of my own race (mostly guys).

I don't understand, I see people dating outside their race but rarely do they get married. It seems that it is just something that is done for fun? The most common interracial couple I have seen is white/asian, or maybe I need to get out more.

Any input is appreciated, I am confused

You need to sit your parents' asses down and attempt to reason with them. This is the kind of bigotry we need to abolish

You happen to find wife material.. what does race have to do with anything? You live in Canada, bro; you're free

My mom still clings onto traditional Vietnamese values. I argue with her every so often and debunk her logic. Nearly everything I choose to do is against her interests, but she's come to terms with my life choices 'cause she realizes she can't control me. This is my life buddaaaay

As a fellow 20 year-old, fuck your childhood social conditioning and fuck your parents' culture. You do you

[Jmac]

I wouldn't give a shit what my parents think. I'm the one who has to live with this person for the next several decades, not them.

[mk1freak]

Originally Posted by Jmac

I wouldn't give a shit what my parents think. I'm the one who has to live with this person for the next several decades, not them.

I agree, the Shitty part is when you have to live with her parents

[rzrshrp]

I guess I eventually do have to talk to them about it, but I'll just avoid it for now until I actually do meet wifey material. Who knows, I might just meet a nice girl that's of my own race!

And to the above post, how do you know her parents will accept you? Same concept haha. It goes both ways which is what you have to consider.

[hk20000]

2 years later, those wheels still look so bad.

[tiger_handheld]

Originally Posted by rzrshrp

Ok I have a srs question for you all.

Do you think it's worth dating outside your race? For example for me, as a south-asian brown-skinned male I have come to learn that we are basically near the bottom of the dating hierarchy :/

But for me, personally, I don't go for girls based on their race (that is an afterthought, if anything) I usually try to date girls I click with and am attracted to (physical/personality/ambition/etc.). Living in a part of town where there are many east asian people has led me to have around my social circle of ~80% east asian friends. This naturally leads me to date in these social circles (outside my race).

As a 20 y/o my parents are starting to pressure me about marriage, and they say they will basically not talk to me anymore if I marry outside my race.

I guess my question to you all is, is it worth it to date/marry outside your race? It is probably 100x harder to date outside my race for me, and I don't know how well it works out (east asian and south asian cultures are different). If I bring home an asian/white/whatever race gf, my parents will not take it very well but if it doesn't work out with her I will be at a loss for both sides.

The problem is, is that my culture does not allow dating so openly and as a result the females are secluded from the males. So I don't know many girls of my own race (mostly guys).

I don't understand, I see people dating outside their race but rarely do they get married. It seems that it is just something that is done for fun? The most common interracial couple I have seen is white/asian, or maybe I need to get out more.

Any input is appreciated, I am confused

Originally Posted by pinn3r

You need to sit your parents' asses down and attempt to reason with them. This is the kind of bigotry we need to abolish

You happen to find wife material.. what does race have to do with anything? You live in Canada, bro; you're free

My mom still clings onto traditional Vietnamese values. I argue with her every so often and debunk her logic. Nearly everything I choose to do is against her interests, but she's come to terms with my life choices 'cause she realizes she can't control me. This is my life buddaaaay

As a fellow 20 year-old, fuck your childhood social conditioning and fuck your parents' culture. You do you

I think it's easier for a guy to say "mom, dad - this is my life this is who i'm gonna marry" but if you flip it , for a girl, it's extremely hard, especially if they are dependent on their parents a lot.

I was in the same boat as OP, but the girls parents were against brown skinned people. The girl was great and we had plans of marriage but at the end of the day the her parents couldn't get over it after 4+ years of dating.

The sit down and talk with the parents isn't as easy as people on RS say it is because the way white kids are brought up and the way asian/south asian kids are brought up is entirely different.

It doesn't matter if you lived 98% of your life in Canada, if you are 'first generation' you will be brought up the way your asian/south asian parents were brought up.

The time interracial marriage is going to be ok is when our generation has kids and it becomes the norm for a brown girl to marry a white boy. The other way is if our parents spent 98% of their lives in Canada when they had us or the parents are divorced (very western) suggesting they embrace these western values.

OP if you want more insights, use the search function here, you'll actually see this topic being discussed a number of times.

[rzrshrp]

Originally Posted by tiger_handheld

I think it's easier for a guy to say "mom, dad - this is my life this is who i'm gonna marry" but if you flip it , for a girl, it's extremely hard, especially if they are dependent on their parents a lot.

I was in the same boat as OP, but the girls parents were against brown skinned people. The girl was great and we had plans of marriage but at the end of the day the her parents couldn't get over it after 4+ years of dating.

The sit down and talk with the parents isn't as easy as people on RS say it is because the way white kids are brought up and the way asian/south asian kids are brought up is entirely different.

It doesn't matter if you lived 98% of your life in Canada, if you are 'first generation' you will be brought up the way your asian/south asian parents were brought up.

The time interracial marriage is going to be ok is when our generation has kids and it becomes the norm for a brown girl to marry a white boy. The other way is if our parents spent 98% of their lives in Canada when they had us or the parents are divorced (very western) suggesting they embrace these western values.

OP if you want more insights, use the search function here, you'll actually see this topic being discussed a number of times.

This x100. Summed up my thoughts to a T. It's really easy to talk about speaking to your parents, but doing it is extremely difficult. And absolutely, I think the generation after our will see much more liberalism in these matters.

But damn, dating someone for 4 years and you just have to end it like that... That is exactly what I'm scared of :/

[pinn3r]

I hadn't considered others' situations; I was only speaking from mine.

My dad was a fuck-up and was out of the picture early on, so I had to pick up after myself at an early age. My mom didn't know much, so I had to experience things on my own and bring the knowledge home. I'm close enough to my mom that I can tell her nearly anything.

My parents aren't allowed to tell me how to live my life; if they do, I don't hesitate to leave them. I live my life in accordance with my morals and values. Because I don't depend on my parents, I've always done shit my way and done it unapologetically.

rzrshrp, if you find a nice girl, who gives a fuck about what your parents think. Your parents' mentalities are archaic, irrational, and unjustifiable.

[Phozy]

Just found out my flunked my test. fuck

[<3 envee]

you look great as always

[Euro7r]

It should've been us
Shoulda been a fire, shoulda been the perfect storm
It should've been us
Coulda been the real thing
Now we'll never know for sure, ooh
We were crazy, but amazing, baby we both know
It should've been us, us
It, it, it should've been us

Listening on repeat.

[pinn3r]

Been almost 6 months since we parted ways... do I miss her? Not one bit. I've almost stopped thinking about her altogether.

I sure miss who I thought she was, though. The version of her that I had romanticized - innocuous, tender, loving, and so gentle. She still has our anniversary post on her Facebook wall from years ago; I go back to read it every once in a while and wallow in my fantasy land for bit.

Such a shame things had to go the way they did. She's convinced me that women don't like you for you... they like you for how you make them feel.

I'd be remiss if I didn't thank her for putting me through so much emotional shit, and shaping me into the man I am today. Good riddance though

[6o4__boi]

so fuckin weird
not sure if i'm being trolled or if people are actually that clueless

[JShifter]

Everyone got those days where words can't describe how you feel....

[guurl]

WASTED TIME IS WORST THAN WASTED MONEY
ugggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh