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Relationship & Gender DiscussionTHIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE! The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...
Ya don't ever go to that one. It's always busy, especially now that the one above Uncle Willy's is closed. It's further away, but you can take the 19 if you don't want to walk to the other one. Kingsway and Inman basically.
__________________
"Can you match my resolve? If so then you will succeed. I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavour to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve." -- Monty Oum
So basically they're bribing you to do what they want
__________________
"Can you match my resolve? If so then you will succeed. I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavour to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve." -- Monty Oum
Happen to me too! Went for a blood test Sat morning. So Friday night mom keeps knocking on my room saying there are still moon cakes and cookies left with a evil laugh
One thing I found funny at Lifelabs is that even though I book my appt at 11:45am when I go there I was still ask to take a number and wait like all those walk ins. So what's the time point making an appt online then? Ended up wait till close to 1pm to get my blood test done.
Sigh gf keeps asking when we are going to get marry (but her family keeps wanting a big chunk of $$$ as I posted earlier.). Pressure is getting to me to a point where I want to say fuck it we either going to break up or your family needs a reality check.
I showed up at 645 in the morning and there were 14 people ahead of me. I was so damn hungry and angry by the time i sat down to get stabbed.
ok i missed the whole marriage and money thing. They want you to pay them? or just have proof you can provide for a family?
Why is it that people look down on single mothers?
We're not all attracted to drama, drugs or alcohol.
We don't rely on child support.
I have a good career, I pay my rent on time, I pay my bills on time and I don't receive any child support $$.
My child's father is not in the picture.
Not everyone is the same.
So if I wanted to rent a place and they denied me because I'm a single parent. That's what I call discrimination.
^yeah when I read that post, I was pretty upset as well. I was raised by a single mom and I have to say my mom is pretty fucking awesome. The hardest working person I know, and I would not be the person I am today if she was just a lazy alcoholic who relied on child support like that guy said. Don't even take that to heart. I'm sure you're a great mom. Some people are just extremely ignorant and there's nothing we can do about it except laugh at how stupid they are.
Why is it that people look down on single mothers?
We're not all attracted to drama, drugs or alcohol.
We don't rely on child support.
I have a good career, I pay my rent on time, I pay my bills on time and I don't receive any child support $$.
My child's father is not in the picture.
Not everyone is the same.
So if I wanted to rent a place and they denied me because I'm a single parent. That's what I call discrimination.
I wouldn't take it to heart my family has rented our house to a single mother for the last 12 years. I don't think we could have asked for a better tenant. In 12 years we haven't had one issue with her.
Edit:
Also I agree with alwayslive the majority of single mothers I know are very hard working and don't rely on government assistance. You can't paint all single mothers with the same brush
reads most threads with his pants around his ankles, especially in the Forced Induction forum.
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,645
Thanked 2,191 Times in 1,131 Posts
Failed 929 Times in 340 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by phunky.FOB
Why is it that people look down on single mothers?
We're not all attracted to drama, drugs or alcohol.
We don't rely on child support.
I have a good career, I pay my rent on time, I pay my bills on time and I don't receive any child support $$.
My child's father is not in the picture.
Not everyone is the same.
So if I wanted to rent a place and they denied me because I'm a single parent. That's what I call discrimination.
Yes everyone is different but with my personality experience renting to single parents have been a hassle. So if I have to pick who to rent I would not pick to rent to single parents again. You might think is discrimination but for me is my experience that made me change.
I don't get it. What's wrong? I spent an early work day puking and crapping my guts out, managed to finish it. I was under the impression you'd be out early so the plumbers can come to fix the leak. Alas, by 4pm you are still home. What did you do all day while I was busy trying to put food on the table?
After rushing home in traffic and arguing with plumber, washed the dishes you left, you tell me you are downtown at English Bay watching the sunset and want udon. I told you despite how tired i am, I will traverse in traffic again to come dowtown, to have udon and drive you home.
When I got there, all I saw was a disgruntled face because you had to wait for me. The udon, which was shitty, was even shittier when I had to pay for both of us as well as deal with your disgruntled, condecending attitude.
Little was said on the way home. You decided to watch TV knowing I had to wake early again to work. This morning, you didn't bother waking up to see me off or make me breakfast. I expected as much that you wouldn't.
You said you didn't want to keep things unresolved overnight. I tried talking to you, but you didn't seem to be interested but instead wanted to watch TV.
You asked if I needed someone before, or wanted someone,
I don't know now, but i do know that i want a partner, not a dependent.
Get a job, or atleast show me you are trying instead of imposing on my kindness, then throw it back at me as not being caring enough?
We are on completely different wave lengths. I love you, but there has to be more to this for us to continue. The chemistry just isn't correct. Do I have to change? I'll admit i'm not easy to get along with, but I'm to a point of giving up trying because I feel I will be happier without all of this.
TLDR - be happy, ride my bike, hang with my friends and do things that make me happy. You don't like what I am about, then I will buy a one way ticket for you to return to San Francisco.
i'm done here.
TLDR - be happy, ride my bike, hang with my friends and do things that make me happy. You don't like what I am about, then I will buy a one way ticket for you to return to San Francisco.
i'm done here.
I give you props man. If my wife / gf don't work, they better mofo pick up the slack at the house every single time. Don't give me the "just cause I'm your wife doesn't mean I need to cook for you" speech. If I'm out there working and being sick and taking care of rent, you better FIND ways to make this family/relationship work by contributing in any shape or form. Cook, sex, cleaning, vacuuming, laundry... I don't fooking care. If you were the bread winner, and I sit on my ass all day, you'll be sure each time you come home, the house is well taken care of.
Good luck to you man. My X had that issue and I thought it was me all along. When the sex, chemistry dies down, you soon realize you are really tired of just giving and the other side just doesn't understand how to reciprocate. Let the bitch go.
that moment when you avoid a potentially catastrophic crisis
__________________ "There's a lot of dead people who had the right of way." "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." "I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them. They're just my beliefs, they make me feel good about who I am. But if they get in the way of a thing I want, like I wanna jack off or something, I just do that."
TLDR - be happy, ride my bike, hang with my friends and do things that make me happy. You don't like what I am about, then I will buy a one way ticket for you to return to San Francisco.
i'm done here.
Do what makes you happy man. I've realized that a relationship shouldn't be something that takes everything from you. A good relationship should just be another part of your life... You should be able to go to work, work out, ride your bike, hang out with friends, then go home to the person who makes you feel like you're truly at home. There's a difference between a leech and a good girlfriend. Hope you guys can make it all work but if she's just leeching off of you it's just not worth it. You're worth more than that.
My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Van
Posts: 1,805
Thanked 1,731 Times in 649 Posts
Failed 104 Times in 37 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by ?NR
TLDR - be happy, ride my bike, hang with my friends and do things that make me happy. You don't like what I am about, then I will buy a one way ticket for you to return to San Francisco.
i'm done here.
I dropped a bitch once she said I was inadequate. She could not make the mortgage payments on her house so we rented that out and she stayed with me rent free. I work from 8am-6pm and I still had to pick her up at 11pm from work at the lab in north Vancouver, and grocery shopped for her at the save-on-foods at Park and Tilford to make sure she had something to eat before I drove her back to my place. I dealt with her tenants and fixed parts of her house up (I'm not a handyman at 24 years old and the only experience I had was woodwork in highschool, I was a Chemistry major in university) but I did have the intuition to know how to do stuff and google how to make things work. So I spent my weekends at her run down house in New Westminister (half an hour drive away) to fix whatever needed to be fixed. She had bad tenants and complained about every little thing. I was there every single time.
Still was not good enough for her. My dad is a realtor and tried to help her sell the house without taking commission. She didn't like that. Even when she rented it out, she was in the red every month. My dad lent her a car and paid for the insurance to let her get around until I was able to get her a used car that I paid half for, which was my entire bonus from work and was her anniversary gift.
She didn't even fucking remember my birthday and made plans with her friends. I end up the bad person because I said "well, you made plans already so have fun, I'll just be eating dinner with my friends" then she said *I* didn't care if she was there or not. Fucking twisted way of thinking. I remembered her birthday every single fucking year and had dinner parties planned for her each time.
Some people won't reciprocate until they lose you. 2 years after we broke up and 2 boyfriends later, she sends me a long winded text how she loves me and will always be there for me and said happy birthday to me. Didn't remember her number but I simply said "OK".
She still keeps texting me on my birthday but I simply ignore them. It ain't worth it some times when it's too far gone.
My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Van
Posts: 1,805
Thanked 1,731 Times in 649 Posts
Failed 104 Times in 37 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by qwerty123
Spoiler!
The past is history , yet you dig up history for us to deal with. The stories you tell , the things you say , all unravel , each lie that awakes , is one that pushed us further . I've not bEen the best , you weren't the only girl in my life , I wasn't the only one in yours . We've both changed , step by step , at least I thought . You aren't able to let go of the past , you still need to be put on a Pedestal , worshiped by many .loneliness creeps upon you , that itch you need to scratch , gets taken care by many . What we have left is just emptiness , nothing much more . The point going forward together has been lost . Too much history, too many stories , too many lies , have hurt us to the point , that there's no need to try. I know where I stand in your life , and that isn't the same place as where you stand in mine . Taking you , asking you to meet my family ,What I get in return , you ask your friends to come along , joining us on a 10,000 mile trip . All due to , you being scared ? Scared of my past ? Yet , each day , your family and friends tell me , what you do , what you did. All that history of yours , aren't history , there brought up by you . You don't have the right to tell me what to do , only the privelage of me letting you in my life , maybe , changing me to a better man. But that's not what I want anymore , because I don't need , I don't want you , to be a part of my life . I don't need someone that's goes out with family and getting piss drunk . Ending up in another mans bed , I don't need someone that asking for us to move on forward with our relationship , yet goes back to mounting some other . I don't need someone to give me STDs , because they don't even know who's bed they were in the night before . I don't need someone telling me not to work , not to social with another female , while blowing someone else . This I know you'll see , good bye , and never again
Shit, that was a train wreck of run-on sentences and incomplete sentences. Sounds, like, Captain Kirk...... talking.
Well in most Chinese Culture the guys family usually give the girls family some money. This is done because the parents of the daughter raise the daughter up which cost money and now she is marry and will now help carry the guys' family man (assuming they have a baby and the baby last name will follow the guys family). The girls family wants something in return for raising their daughter up.
Times have change since then and from I gather in the past few years in China when the guy pays the girl family, the girl family will also give the guy family equal value of what he guys pay in the form of a new car, electronics for the new house, maybe down payment for their house depending on how much money they ask for.
For my case if they want 60k they will have to give me 60k of items. It is really dumb in a sense you literally gain nothing other than bragging rights to their family and friends how much they got. In reality they still have to pay that money out. Now I am little different because she is in China and I am in Vancouver so if I give her parents any money I don't expect them to give me anything in return as it would be really difficult for them to ship say a car or any electronics. Actually I don't want anything from them. They aren't exactly rich themselves (they live in a rural area of China) her brother got an apartment in the city boarder of Beijing. My guess is that mom wants the money tho help her brother pays for the mortgage of the apartment. Or they feel they get a ton for their daughter since she graduated form university. I am sorry but almost anyone can graduate from university these days. So is nothing special. They also don't understand that once their daughter arrive in Vancouver she ain't going to be making any money for at least 6months to a year till she goes to school and learn something or get use to Vancouver. i have no doubt her English is so so can get by since she study English but by no means is good. So even after a few years of working I don't feel she will be able to get a high paying job here which is fine.
Now what they don't realize times have change. I have a few friends who got marry here (from China as well) and the girl family didn't even ask for any money from the guy because they only want their daughter to be happy. They also don't realize there is something call "Internet" so is very very easy to search for wedding trends in China (In fact there is a website that list how much money you should give to the girls family according to the city they are from) and her city falls really back on the list and most people offer $4k to $10k) again this depends on what the girl side is given (sometimes the girl side gets nothing if the guy have to pay for everything wedding, apartment, car etc etc).
The excuse they give for asking for this much money also doesn't make any sense. First they say they will miss their daughter and won't get to see her often (often as in every other day or everyweek). Knowing my gf have been studying in another city for over 4years and she only goes back to visit once a year, I explain she can go back to visit every year as well when she is in Van so it makes little to no difference when she was in university. Then they said they are scare the marriage won't work out and their daughter need the money to start fresh in China if we were to break up. I just lol and told them if they feel the marriage won't work then I won't even bother to get marry since in their mind they already have such a negative though and it makes no sense to get marry and then divorce. I simply won't do it. I also mention the recent trends in wedding in China and how girl family actually pays the guy as well. So they were a bit surprise.
I basically stop talking about this whole marriage thing with them and the gf. I can play the waiting game and they can't. Once you reach 28 and still isn't marry as a girl in China the whole society will think something is wrong with you and no one will really want to marry you. Another funny is they actually want to apply for a Visa to come visit Vancouver and see if it is safe here and if their daughter will like it here. I guess they didn't know how hard is it for them to get a Visa. So I kept quiet and let them try only for their application to be deny and the custom laughing their ass off with their application (they have very little savings, doesn't own a property and they are into their 50s). At this point I am just going to take a back seat and enjoy my time spend with my gf.
Just went back thru this thread to read your dowry story HappySlip, and it's pretty fucked. What's the consequence of just flat out not giving them a red cent and marrying their daughter?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graeme S
More than half of the problem is stupidity, not malice.
saw this floating around the net to whomever the husband is, thank you:
Quote:
MARRIED COUPLE, this is worth to read.
My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…
Spoiler!
i hope this really happened, and even if i found out otherwise i wouldn't say anything
My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Van
Posts: 1,805
Thanked 1,731 Times in 649 Posts
Failed 104 Times in 37 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by mk1freak
saw this floating around the net to whomever the husband is, thank you:
Spoiler!
MARRIED COUPLE, this is worth to read.
My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…
Sorry, call me insensitive, but that is a fucking load of shit. No one should test their significant other to see how far they would go to love them. That is plain old shit. She loves his steady nature and hugging onto his broad shoulders and yet got tired of his insensitivity? Did she not know this guy after 3 years of courtship and 2 years of marriage? Fuck this bitch if it's a true story. This bitch loves DRAMA.
This is along the same lines as "If you love me, you'd do it for me" as if to guilt trip someone into doing something. I would gladly lose my life to save my wife, but I will not lose my life over something that's not threatening her life or something trivial even in question. Honesty is all I can ever offer if it comes to these stupid little tests of will. It's also like making your loved one choose with an ultimatum.
You know what the moral of this story is? People take others for granted over time and they don't miss it until it's gone or they realize they might lose the other person; that's when people pull all the stops. Overly-sensitive twat, heart broken in the first line, my ass. She just sad 'cause she about to be out a husband and she probably though "Oh shit, I done messed up A-A-Ron". I hope the woman of this story gets her ass dumped for being a stupid cunt.
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