Speak it Out

[Presto]

Uniqlo (USA) clearance FTW. My Threadless purchases from a decade ago are past retirement. Restocked on a baker's dozen of graphic t-shirts for $100. Wife approved. I'm set for another decade

[Euro7r]

*Update Aug 2/17*
So initial dessert date went okay, could have been better. Have her number and asked her for a date. Ignores my question completely........

Doesn't really make sense to talk anymore if she's not interested. I don't want to ask again since I'll look desperate. Do I move on? Kinda confused since I can't even tell if she's interested or not anymore now. E.g. If I were her, I wouldn't share number if I weren't interested.

[dark0821]

fuck this shit... like seriously... fuck this shit...

fucking fuck fuck...

yea... as you can see, I have no vocab to describe how fucking fucked up this fucking situation is right now...

[PK-EK]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

*Update Aug 2/17*
So initial dessert date went okay, could have been better. Have her number and asked her for a date. Ignores my question completely........

Doesn't really make sense to talk anymore if she's not interested. I don't want to ask again since I'll look desperate. Do I move on? Kinda confused since I can't even tell if she's interested or not anymore now. E.g. If I were her, I wouldn't share number if I weren't interested.

I was talking to my female coworker the other day about how she shared her number with someone she wasn't interested in.

she told me usually girls do that because they don't want to make the moment awkward, so they give you their number and don't really think about the long term effects after :IDK:

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by PK-EK

I was talking to my female coworker the other day about how she shared her number with someone she wasn't interested in.

she told me usually girls do that because they don't want to make the moment awkward, so they give you their number and don't really think about the long term effects after :IDK:

That's very misleading if there is no consideration of a bf/gf relationship. If there is mutual agreement to just be friends, that's cool too and should be communicated from the start.

I can also see it makes it less awkward to tell them not interested via text than in person by sharing numbers.

To update from turn of events. Worked some magic and she said yes to a date with me. First to get a date wins round one

[threezero]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

That's very misleading if there is no consideration of a bf/gf relationship. If there is mutual agreement to just be friends, that's cool too and should be communicated from the start.

I can also see it makes it less awkward to tell them not interested via text than in person by sharing numbers.

To update from turn of events. Worked some magic and she said yes to a date with me. First to get a date wins round one

Good to see things working out

For future reference, its easier to get a "date" from a girl without actually mentioning that its a date. Your are making it way to formal At this stage you shouldn't be bringing her to expensive place to wine and dine yet anyways.

Just ask to see her again and just imply that you would like to spent more time together next time around.

You can turn it into a date when she actually come out. When she has less expectation you have an advantage.

Insisting on a date can really pressure the girl into mentally forcing herself to decided right away if she likes you. The resulting could be very polarizing.

You are also setting yourself up with imaginary "date quality" standards that you will undoubtedly be judged on later down the road.


Just take it easy, make her laugh, escalate gently with physical contact. Have a good time.

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by threezero

Good to see things working out

For future reference, its easier to get a "date" from a girl without actually mentioning that its a date. Your are making it way to formal At this stage you shouldn't be bringing her to expensive place to wine and dine yet anyways.

Just ask to see her again and just imply that you would like to spent more time together next time around.

You can turn it into a date when she actually come out. When she has less expectation you have an advantage.

Insisting on a date can really pressure the girl into mentally forcing herself to decided right away if she likes you. The resulting could be very polarizing.

You are also setting yourself up with imaginary "date quality" standards that you will undoubtedly be judged on later down the road.


Just take it easy, make her laugh, escalate gently with physical contact. Have a good time.

I just simply said I do enjoy your company and would like to go on a food date to spend more time and get to know you on a greater level.

I tried to indirectly get to the same point by asking 'what is your schedule like next week', indirect imply I want to ask her out. But she ignored that question, so kinda had to find another way to ask her again, which ended being the "direct" way.

At our age, we are both grown adults, both don't want to waste time. I figured just be assertive and direct to the point (shows I ain't screwing around). I don't plan to bring her to a nice place, just casual place to enjoy good time with each others company.

[SpeedStars]

I feel like girls who you meet online are more reluctant to go out with you if they don't know your background and etc. But from experience; if your conversations makes her feel comfortable enough to give you their number, they're comfortable enough to go on a date with you. Usually, I would set up a day to go out and they'd give me their number so that I would have a way to contact them outside of tinder or w/e.

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by SpeedStars

I feel like girls who you meet online are more reluctant to go out with you if they don't know your background and etc. But from experience; if your conversations makes her feel comfortable enough to give you their number, they're comfortable enough to go on a date with you. Usually, I would set up a day to go out and they'd give me their number so that I would have a way to contact them outside of tinder or w/e.

I feel like nothing matters until you meet that person face to face. I had three prior experiences and none of them claimed what they were.

First one told me how she loves family and family oriented, then when I met her, she tells me doesn't know where her dad is. I was like what to do you mean...Told me he's somewhere not with my mom. I was confused with her and she always had emotional issues.

Second one claimed she is "chinese" but when we met, turned out to be Filipino...Walked around for 30mins and I just ditched her when I went to the washroom. Looked like she was 45, must be falsely claiming age too.

Third one was seeing multiple guys at once, after we met up first time. I had no interest in that kinda stuff, moved on. People can claim whatever they want online, but it's hard to determine the legitimacy until you see it in person.

[6793026]

stop giving excuses and just go ask them out. People have zero attention span now (look at how we swipe now instead of reading a profile).

Best example i give; back in the days, you pick up a movie, and watch it till the end. Now we can't even decide after 15 minutes on Netflix with literally thousands of options.

1) make sure you're an interesting person (can't carrry a conversation, all you do is complain about work = boringggggg)
2) ensure you got game (if you're going to take her to shit hole; a cheap skate, don't know the hip joints in town... then refer to #1)
3) be a gentleman regardless of what they say. (Don't be an ass.. enough said)

[R. Mutt]

I'm late to this thread but euro7r your posts interest me because I remember going through bullshit like that while perusing women via online dating. I'd like to share some advice but I need to understand what you're seeking because I'm late to the conversation. Do you mind me asking what your goal is? Are you looking for a woman of substance and a potential ltr or a sexual partner/ hook up? Also, what's your age approximately? Five year range should work fine, you don't have to be specific if you'd like to maintain privacy. Simply asking because all these factors play a part when it comes to online dating and women in this day and age. Also, random: we have the same car so thumbs up sir! Love my mk7r

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by R. Mutt

I'm late to this thread but euro7r your posts interest me because I remember going through bullshit like that while perusing women via online dating. I'd like to share some advice but I need to understand what you're seeking because I'm late to the conversation. Do you mind me asking what your goal is? Are you looking for a woman of substance and a potential ltr or a sexual partner/ hook up? Also, what's your age approximately? Five year range should work fine, you don't have to be specific if you'd like to maintain privacy. Simply asking because all these factors play a part when it comes to online dating and women in this day and age. Also, random: we have the same car so thumbs up sir! Love my mk7r

Long term relationship. Age 26-31

[alwayslive]

So much shit happening now, I feel like it is all piling up and getting insane.

Girl I've been seeing for about a month now makes me feel incredible. I have never met someone more smart and ambitious, but so down to earth and humble all at the same time. She's also a freak in bed, which is a huge plus. Really exited for where this could go. Can't believe I got out of a long term relationship just a few months ago..

Finally hit the wall with my business, where I may lose a ton of opportunity and money if I do not either take a break from school or quit unless I clone myself. But fuck I have a year left. For anyone that has made the move or knows anyone who has made the move, has it been worth it? I mean realistically... I'm going for an entrepreneurship degree so I guess it makes sense lol.

[Fafine]

Originally Posted by alwayslive

So much shit happening now, I feel like it is all piling up and getting insane.

Finally hit the wall with my business, where I may lose a ton of opportunity and money if I do not either take a break from school or quit unless I clone myself. But fuck I have a year left. For anyone that has made the move or knows anyone who has made the move, has it been worth it? I mean realistically... I'm going for an entrepreneurship degree so I guess it makes sense lol.

Schools overrated. It's good for people that can't find a decent job on their own.
If you got something good going on then take a break a from school.
Does finishing your studies automatically increase your income?
If it does, how does the increase compare to the amount you can make with your current business.


No sacrifice no glory.
Taking a break won't hurt you anyways, school will always be there.

[alwayslive]

Nope, school is completely for the family. Regardless if I finish my degree or not I will still keep trekking with this business, plan is to continue to work for myself anyways so I just don't see the point anymore.

Love that, "no sacrifice, no glory"

[Euro7r]

I have my date locked, now I am trying to pick a casual place to eat.

I thought about Guu Garlic and Suika, have drinks and food; however, the atmosphere is generally noisy and sometimes hard to hear each other talk from prior experiences I went with friends. Would this be ideal? Or should it be considered noise helps not make things awkward if anything awkward happens...

If anyone has any suggestions, please share them. She prefers Asian food.

[alwayslive]

I would say go somewhere with a really nice atmosphere, loud is actually sometimes a good thing. Good vibes lifts the mood and makes it more casual, you can also comment on what's going on around you so you have that extra layer of conversation.

I know it isn't asian food, but look into this tapas place called Bin941 in Downtown, one of my all time favourites. No reservations, but should be fine if you walk in early enough around 6ish. Good drinks, really good food and a nice cozy little place that inspires great conversations from my experience.

Even if it's a date, don't make it seem serious. Just keep it super casual and vibe off one another. You want her going home thinking that she had a ton of fun and wanting much more.

[PK-EK]

Originally Posted by alwayslive

Nope, school is completely for the family. Regardless if I finish my degree or not I will still keep trekking with this business, plan is to continue to work for myself anyways so I just don't see the point anymore.

Love that, "no sacrifice, no glory"

Fuck pleasing the family

[Presto]

Aww yeah. Wife is out of the house. Time to blast the music she hates

[threezero]

Originally Posted by PK-EK

Fuck pleasing the family

This.

People can see success regardless of their culture. Guarantee your family will completely forget that you didn't finish school if you achieve something by yourself.

Nobody cares about your degree once you turn 30.
The only people that still have to flash around their degree at that age are lawyer and doctor who finally just finish their studies. Oh and failed entrepreneurs who didn't finish school earlier on lol

There aint no shame. Go for the opportunities now.

[R. Mutt]

Things have changed a lot because of technology but the reality is attraction between men and women remains much the same. One thing to keep in mind is we live in an age of instant gratification. The average woman is showered by likes, messages and attention from every direction via social media and dating apps. Every hit, like and message is a dopamine hit and that's why people can't let go of their phones.

I'm 33, and you may call me old school for saying this but I've had many successful dates and relationships by building attraction before the date even happens. Some of you will remember the days before cell phones. When your crush called on the house phone and you'd talk for hours. There was so much tension and attraction built this way that every time you saw each other it didn't take much for things to go where they may.

My point is this. Focus your energy on mediums that build authentic attraction and avoid those that diminish it. In a sea of texts you are the phone call. Build attraction in a genuine manner so she hears your voice. When you meet, don't over think things, just let it flow and before you know it you'll build a connection talking about things with each other that will make things 10x easier. But when you show up to a date and don't have any connection besides a profile picture you both liked and an app claiming that this person is your match then your essentially trying to make an analogue connection from binary information.

The good stuff is in between the lines and no profile or app will give you that. It's when the makeup comes off and she eases down from a long day and talks to you that she'll let some of her inhibitions go. It may seem trite but this will play well for you as things snowball and she feels more of a connection and it separates you from other guys.

You can go to the nicest restaurant, lounge, club but it will always come down to how she feels. What you bring out in her is a direction result of what you put in. Always remember though - it's a two way street. If you find yourself putting too much energy in and not getting it back then don't waste your time. Set limitations and constraints for yourself whether it be how long she takes to respond, how flakey her behavior is and so forth.

as far as attracting the right woman I found the more open I was - the easier it became. Not because she was easier to find but rather you are so sure of who you are that people who waste your time are filtered out quickly. Be confident of who you are and what you've accomplished, but not cocky; poke fun but don't judge her; compliment her on something unique...could be something that stood out with her choice of jewelry, lipstick etc. Always be sincere in whatever you do, and if it's the right one she will reciprocate that authenticity.

As far as a first date I recommend doing something fun that takes the awkwardness out of it. Find a common denominator with regard to something you may both like to try but have never done or haven't in quite some time. It could be as simple as pool or bowling or as out there as rock climbing and paintball. Maybe you both have dogs and meet at the park... be creative within reason and leave the restaurants and Netflix nights for later. Dates will all depend on how the shoe fits. This is where talking on the phone helps but if you still can't get a grasp on what fits try something cliche but true. For example most women love animals...it's summer so why not go to the zoo? Lots of cute and exotic animals while you get to walk and talk. Makes for easy conversations and the while getting to know one another.

[Fafine]

YouTube

[stewie]

Question - How long did it take before you told your S.O that you loved them?

[dapperfied]

After she goes down on you.

[PK-EK]

I've been trying to process this for over a week now, and it seems like I have confused myself; I cannot get my thoughts straight. so I will try and write them down here so i can have a clear mind and organise it a bit.

Spoiler!

even before the break up I was already questioning myself on how much I actually liked her. That night we talked until 3am was a good example. We are too different and do not share the same basic core values. I blame a lot of it on the Chinese Brian washing propaganda that she has been exposed to for 23 years but still.... I know I cannot change her mind.

I understand her point of view, even though i do not agree with it. I understand it because I can see the bigger picture. But here is where the problem is. It feels like she doesn't understand my point of view.

I always thought that love was something that would come naturally as time took its course. and in a fact yes. I do love her but as cliche as it sounds, I'm not "In love with her"
I need someone that understands me on a deeper level. and I feel like she doesn't at all.
I practically need someone to know what I'm thinking. I need someone who will know what my next move will be before I even know myself. I need someone to be there and tell me the way. Tell me what PK-EK would do.

And I think for all these reasons is why that when she brought up the breakup. I did nothing. I didn't try to stop it. I didn't really feel hurt.
and for this. I honestly feel a little bad. I feel bad for not feeling bad?
I wasted her time.....

I read a post a few days ago on here. and the member here said "Its Called the Love of your life for a reason, you only have it once in a lifetime"
This really got me thinking. Was she(the one I met when i was 18) the one?
She knew me.... she knew my every next step.....
She still has a special place in my heart. I've been thinking about her a lot these last couple days.
Perhaps maybe I'm just lonely and bored.....

I think I just need to spend less time alone, and more time out with my friends. I have a much more clear mind that way.
I shouldn't be locking myself in my room and over thinking things.