Speak it Out

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

Long Overdue Update:
I went on a 3rd date this past weekend, everything went well and she even had fun. I asked her for dinner that she agreed to this Friday as I wanted to make it official dating relationship. Now here's the curve ball, she messaged me yesterday and said she doesn't want to give me any false hope. Said I'm super nice, amazing and great, but doesn't know how well we connect. She is also seeing another person as well but also doesn't know him that well.

I told her that it's been tough for me to be who I am as I feel in the back of my mind, I always need to play the right cards, such as say right things and do right things. That is because I know I have competition and I don't want to set off any bad impressions.

End of the day, her stance right now is she doesn't know what she wants I feel and also seeing two guys stresses her out. I'm somewhat lost in this situation on what my approach should be to get her. I just know I've changed my attitude towards this and that is just be myself and go with the flow and not over complicate things as I initially have been doing. I did ask if she likes seeing me or doing so out of obligation and she said a bit of both.

Sorry but why would you want to 'get' someone who doesn't even want you? If she's giving you the 'false hope' speech by the 3rd date..... you can do better.

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by MSREE

Sorry but why would you want to 'get' someone who doesn't even want you? If she's giving you the 'false hope' speech by the 3rd date..... you can do better.

She doesn't know at all what she wants. When she's seeing me, she feel bad for not seeing the other and when she's with other person, she feels bad not seeing me. I can't control that aspect of things since she put herself in that situation.

I'm a complete noob at this dating thing. Part of her I can tell she likes me and part of her doesn't. FML.

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

She doesn't know at all what she wants. When she's seeing me, she feel bad for not seeing the other and when she's with other person, she feels bad not seeing me. I can't control that aspect of things since she put herself in that situation.

I'm a complete noob at this dating thing. Part of her I can tell she likes me and part of her doesn't. FML.

Buddy. Her 'not knowing' is your answer. By the 3rd date, the only thing she should be tackling is her urge to jump your bones. Don't waste your time with girls who don't know what they want.

First tip of dating: find someone solid who likes you for real.
Otherwise, you're doing it wrong.

[SpeedStars]

I think I know what she wants..

Either attention or a threesome

If she likes you enough she wouldn't be seeing the other guy. Her seeing two people at the same time means she's not committed and she's eventually going to have to commit to someone. Unless you don't mind being a side chick or her having a side chick.

[mb_]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

Long Overdue Update:
I went on a 3rd date this past weekend, everything went well and she even had fun. I asked her for dinner that she agreed to this Friday as I wanted to make it official dating relationship. Now here's the curve ball, she messaged me yesterday and said she doesn't want to give me any false hope. Said I'm super nice, amazing and great, but doesn't know how well we connect. She is also seeing another person as well but also doesn't know him that well.

I told her that it's been tough for me to be who I am as I feel in the back of my mind, I always need to play the right cards, such as say right things and do right things. That is because I know I have competition and I don't want to set off any bad impressions.

End of the day, her stance right now is she doesn't know what she wants I feel and also seeing two guys stresses her out. I'm somewhat lost in this situation on what my approach should be to get her. I just know I've changed my attitude towards this and that is just be myself and go with the flow and not over complicate things as I initially have been doing. I did ask if she likes seeing me or doing so out of obligation and she said a bit of both.

Simple answer: drop her

[dapperfied]

... or free food.

Originally Posted by SpeedStars

I think I know what she wants..

Either attention or a threesome

If she likes you enough she wouldn't be seeing the other guy. Her seeing two people at the same time means she's not committed and she's eventually going to have to commit to someone. Unless you don't mind being a side chick or her having a side chick.

[Lamboda]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

Long Overdue Update:
I went on a 3rd date this past weekend, everything went well and she even had fun. I asked her for dinner that she agreed to this Friday as I wanted to make it official dating relationship. Now here's the curve ball, she messaged me yesterday and said she doesn't want to give me any false hope. Said I'm super nice, amazing and great, but doesn't know how well we connect. She is also seeing another person as well but also doesn't know him that well.

I told her that it's been tough for me to be who I am as I feel in the back of my mind, I always need to play the right cards, such as say right things and do right things. That is because I know I have competition and I don't want to set off any bad impressions.

End of the day, her stance right now is she doesn't know what she wants I feel and also seeing two guys stresses her out. I'm somewhat lost in this situation on what my approach should be to get her. I just know I've changed my attitude towards this and that is just be myself and go with the flow and not over complicate things as I initially have been doing. I did ask if she likes seeing me or doing so out of obligation and she said a bit of both.

You're making progress bud because you're self-aware. I used to be like you too. Thinking about what to do next, wondering if I should hold her hand, overthink texts, etc. Do and say what you truly want. That's being genuine. Being a "nice" guy is doing "nice shit" in the hopes of getting something aka a relationship/sex. That's being manipulative. Be a gentleman and firm in your beliefs, make her respect you.

Girls ALWAYS will have a backup. You will ALWAYS have competition. Run your own race, fuck the competition. If the girl I'm seeing told me that I'd say, well, when are you guys getting married? or I'd say. that's cool, I like an open relationship. Don't get mad if I see other girls too.

It seems you've invested a lot into this girl and you're not getting returns. If that happened in the stock market would you keep investing? No. Diversify, and invest into the ones with good returns and track records.

Oh and try not to tell a girl your problems unless they can actually offer a good solution or you've already established a solid relationship. They may sense that as weak and might lose respect for you. Think about your dad, does he vent his problems to you? No. He tries to face it himself. He asks you for advice when he doesn't know. If you need to vent, vent to your buddies. They might have good advice for you.

Best of luck bro I was in the same spot as you. Always work on yourself and career first.

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by Lamboda

You're making progress bud because you're self-aware. I used to be like you too. Thinking about what to do next, wondering if I should hold her hand, overthink texts, etc. Do and say what you truly want. That's being genuine. Being a "nice" guy is doing "nice shit" in the hopes of getting something aka a relationship/sex. That's being manipulative. Be a gentleman and firm in your beliefs, make her respect you.

Girls ALWAYS will have a backup. You will ALWAYS have competition. Run your own race, fuck the competition. If the girl I'm seeing told me that I'd say, well, when are you guys getting married? or I'd say. that's cool, I like an open relationship. Don't get mad if I see other girls too.

It seems you've invested a lot into this girl and you're not getting returns. If that happened in the stock market would you keep investing? No. Diversify, and invest into the ones with good returns and track records.

Oh and try not to tell a girl your problems unless they can actually offer a good solution or you've already established a solid relationship. They may sense that as weak and might lose respect for you. Think about your dad, does he vent his problems to you? No. He tries to face it himself. He asks you for advice when he doesn't know. If you need to vent, vent to your buddies. They might have good advice for you.

Best of luck bro I was in the same spot as you. Always work on yourself and career first.

Feels like I invested all my money into O&G stock and suddenly tanked...

[threezero]

if by third date the girl is still having so much doubt about you. You really dont have a chance, especially when she is open to talking to you about seeing another guy. I bet you what she is telling you this, being all stress out etc. BUT THE OTHER GUY HAVE NO IDEA YOU EXIST. guess who's feeling is more important and who she is afraid of loosing more.

When you leave on your own accord now, its your decision not hers. AKA you gave up vs she lead you on. If you stay and you somehow do end up with her you were definitely just backup plan. She will leave you once she discover a better one.

[Euro7r]

Killed it now. As many of you mentioned, by the 3rd date and she's uncertain or doesn't know, not worth going forward anymore with anything.

It's fine if she's seeing other guys to "open up her options", but at least commit to someone sooner so it doesn't waste the other's time.

[FOREVER]

WTF

[SpeedStars]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

Spoiler!

Killed it now. As many of you mentioned, by the 3rd date and she's uncertain or doesn't know, not worth going forward anymore with anything.

It's fine if she's seeing other guys to "open up her options", but at least commit to someone sooner so it doesn't waste the other's time.

Good choice! But I know it's a tough one to make. I'm sure you'll feel like regretting the decision or thinking "what if" after wards, but just know there's always going to be someone else that's going to appreciate your company much more than someone seeking for attention

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

Killed it now. As many of you mentioned, by the 3rd date and she's uncertain or doesn't know, not worth going forward anymore with anything.

It's fine if she's seeing other guys to "open up her options", but at least commit to someone sooner so it doesn't waste the other's time.

Good for you!!!
Bitches ain't shit

[ZN6]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

Long Overdue Update:
I went on a 3rd date this past weekend, everything went well and she even had fun. I asked her for dinner that she agreed to this Friday as I wanted to make it official dating relationship. Now here's the curve ball, she messaged me yesterday and said she doesn't want to give me any false hope. Said I'm super nice, amazing and great, but doesn't know how well we connect. She is also seeing another person as well but also doesn't know him that well.

I know this is late, but if this ever happens again, walk right away and don't give her the time of day. When you become an option to someone, it's not competition anymore, you've become a fall-back in case the other one doesn't work out. In her eyes, both you guys are second best and she's still looking for something better; you are competing against a phantom at that point. Let her find her prince charming and get old.

Thank her for being indecisiveness since it gives you some pretty big insight to who she is and what kind of shit games she plays.

[ilovebacon]

Just applied for a job in Toronto. even though if i am the right candidate. its going to be a shit ton of stress, trying to stay alive with accommodation and food. Do i really want to sale my car and start a new life in Toronto or just stay in Vancouver.. plus I just met a new girl..

They say that getting into the industry is like a marathon not a race.. but my goals..

[CorneringArtist]

On one hand, knowing your car will be a hard sell is a kick in the nuts. On the other, finding yourself disconnected from most people you know is an even harder kick in the nuts.

[ilovebacon]

I think I will be perfectly fine being alone. Just hit the gym and find a girl, or chill with employees

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by ilovebacon

I think I will be perfectly fine being alone. Just hit the gym and find a girl, or chill with employees

Broo people in Toronto are so hot. Youll be fine lol. Plus you can always drive to Montreal and Niagara Falls on the weekend East coast was the best time of my life...... can I visit you? Lol fml.

[ZN6]

Spent a few weekends out of town with this chick chilling out and going to arcades and random places to get away from Vancouver life for a bit. No, we're not banging, no we're not making out, Just having a bunch of fun as we both haven't seemed to grow up entirely. Round 1 in Seattle is like adult chuck-E-Cheez by the way and is pretty awesome.

She spends a few weekends in BC to get away from Seattle as well and we meet up for random eats when I have time. We're more on the same wavelength than I am with my gf. We're friends who just like to hang out with each other, feeling guilty af.

Plot thickens with the girl from Korea is visiting and wants to hang out. At the same time I don't want to say no, but I feel I shouldn't spend more time with other girls even on a friend level as jealousy can be a real bitch.

Why do I feel like such a scumbag?

[PK-EK]

Originally Posted by ZN6

Spent a few weekends out of town with this chick chilling out and going to arcades and random places to get away from Vancouver life for a bit. No, we're not banging, no we're not making out, Just having a bunch of fun as we both haven't seemed to grow up entirely. Round 1 in Seattle is like adult chuck-E-Cheez by the way and is pretty awesome.

She spends a few weekends in BC to get away from Seattle as well and we meet up for random eats when I have time. We're more on the same wavelength than I am with my gf. We're friends who just like to hang out with each other, feeling guilty af.

Plot thickens with the girl from Korea is visiting and wants to hang out. At the same time I don't want to say no, but I feel I shouldn't spend more time with other girls even on a friend level as jealousy can be a real bitch.

Why do I feel like such a scumbag?

Bring your GF with you, then you wont feel as shitty

[threezero]

Originally Posted by PK-EK

Bring your GF with you, then you wont feel as shitty

you jsut want to see a cat fight

[ilovebacon]

so I just sent my email after a discussion about this opportunity on LinkedIn. He told me that I should be expecting a phone interview on Tuesday afternoon. Oh, the pressure. Do I proceed with it, if everything goes well..

[alwayslive]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Is it bad that I associate fighting with your s/o as growing together? Ie. Even though it's hard, you're both always trying to make up and keep trying. Or is this the wrong way to think about things

Sent from my STV100-1 using Tapatalk

I definitely used to think this way. However, I think it is only constructive when you guys actually fully resolve the situation and grow from it, instead of only solving maybe half the issue and letting everything slide. Then you fight again about the same thing the next day. I've come to realize lately that there are a ton of things you can do instead of fighting to fix potential, or current issues in a relationship.

[Euro7r]

Long weekend finally. Taking some time to rest my mind from this long week. Life moves on.

[Mr.Money]

Originally Posted by threezero

you jsut want to see a cat fight

"DID YOU FUCK HER!!!?! " - the GF


and part 2. "how long have you've being fucking around behind my back"