Speak it Out

[BIC_BAWS]

Wasted my time anyway. I should stop checking on what she's up to tbh. Not sure how this went from looking for someone to waste my time to attached. Kms LOL

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[tegra7]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

So I got the tegra luck and got ghosted LMAO

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[CorneringArtist]

Originally Posted by tegra7

I don't even know that feel. Just the feel that I'm not good enough for those feels.

[ZN6]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Nah I didn't end up helping her move - well I offered, and she accepted, but later declined.

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You gave her the reason to ghost you, bro.

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by ZN6

You gave her the reason to ghost you, bro.

LOL she said she didn't want help, I insisted, she declined again. Not gonna push the issue if she wants to be independent.

But I probably did, I got really high and asked some pretty weird questions. Tho to be fair, I would have been weirded out if she said yes to any of those questions.

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[ZN6]

Points for you for being a man of your word.

[UnknownJinX]

Originally Posted by CorneringArtist

I don't even know that feel. Just the feel that I'm not good enough for those feels.

Woah there.

Cheer up, man.

[CorneringArtist]

Originally Posted by UnknownJinX

Woah there.

Cheer up, man.

I'm somewhat content showing people I'm okay on the outside but hiding that I'm completely dead inside. Feels like there's distance with people I thought were friends for no reason that I can recall, and my social media list is just a compilation of people who keep me at arms length. Being interesting is a foreign concept.

[UnknownJinX]

Originally Posted by CorneringArtist

I'm somewhat content showing people I'm okay on the outside but hiding that I'm completely dead inside. Feels like there's distance with people I thought were friends for no reason that I can recall, and my social media list is just a compilation of people who keep me at arms length. Being interesting is a foreign concept.

What happened to you?

Sometimes I can feel a little lonely, but I wouldn't say I am dead on the inside.

Quality over quantity is what I go for. Better to have a small number of close friends than a bunch of "friends."

I am sure there are some that like the stuff you are into. They will find whatever you like interesting.

[CorneringArtist]

Originally Posted by UnknownJinX

What happened to you?

Sometimes I can feel a little lonely, but I wouldn't say I am dead on the inside.

Quality over quantity is what I go for. Better to have a small number of close friends than a bunch of "friends."

I am sure there are some that like the stuff you are into. They will find whatever you like interesting.

I guess I got sick of lying to myself that things will look up.

I have one person that I can consider a close friend. Everyone else is just someone I know who has an ulterior motive to use me for information, but not as a friend. The people I see for the few hobbies I have I see maybe a half dozen or so times a year at meets. Outside of that, I realized that I've got nothing.

Sorry to shoot down the advice, it's genuinely appreciated, but when the only person you have is yourself, you have a lot of time to think.

[BIC_BAWS]

Honestly, I don't really care if I got ghosted. More mad about how she continues to send me snaps, but doesn't open the snaps I send her. Like fuck, if you're going to ghost me do it right.

But I generally hate ghosting, if you dont want to talk to me ever again, have some fucking decency and say it, don't let me waste my time thinking about you.

I just gotta watch my emotional health levels, i know i can get pretty toxic/vicious when things don't go my way - in terms of relationships, or if i feel underappreciated. Type 2w3 things.

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Honestly, I don't really care if I got ghosted. More mad about how she continues to send me snaps, but doesn't open the snaps I send her. Like fuck, if you're going to ghost me do it right.

But I generally hate ghosting, if you dont want to talk to me ever again, have some fucking decency and say it, don't let me waste my time thinking about you.

I just gotta watch my emotional health levels, i know i can get pretty toxic/vicious when things don't go my way - in terms of relationships, or if i feel underappreciated. Type 2w3 things.

Lol RIGHT!? I got ghosted once by someone I was dating in Toronto. He did it right after he flew me out for a 10 day trip. I was pretty devastated but in retrospect we only dated for 3 months. Lol. He still continued to follow me on IG and watch my snaps. But he changed his Kik and his number LOL. I guess i didnt really know as much about him as I thought. One of those infatuated superficial type of relationships. I was really confused cuz hes the one who told me he loved me first after like 2 months lol. On the bright side though, I got a free all expense paid trip to Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa and Niagara Falls. So it may have stung but it was worth it haha.

At the end of the day, ghosting says more about that person than it does you. They just dont have the balls to just say its not gonna work.

You gotta think, do you want to date a lil pussy ass bitch who cant say what they feel anyway?
Plus everything happens for a reason. People who ghost have issues, and personally Id rather date someone who relatively can handle their business like G lol.

I dated a lot, you cant have time for meek, indecisive motherfuckers especially in this age of dating. People either want you or not, no excuses to be on the fence about someone or lead them on.

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by CorneringArtist

I guess I got sick of lying to myself that things will look up.

I have one person that I can consider a close friend. Everyone else is just someone I know who has an ulterior motive to use me for information, but not as a friend. The people I see for the few hobbies I have I see maybe a half dozen or so times a year at meets. Outside of that, I realized that I've got nothing.

Sorry to shoot down the advice, it's genuinely appreciated, but when the only person you have is yourself, you have a lot of time to think.

You have to change your mindset. People dont NEED to be validated by the amount of friends they have. I've struggled with friendship problems all my life. Ive had girls who I thought were my best friends lie, call me names, spread rumors about me to whole schools lol. It never stopped, not even when I was in nursing school. I had a close friend there who I was doing a practicum with.....she accidentally sent me a text she meant to send our other mutual friend.....about me....... LOL.

I cried in the washroom of that nursing home but I took a deep breath and said fuck em and continued to work. I spent the rest of my semester worrying what these people were thinking and saying of me. A couple years ago, my best friend from highschool who was going through a bad break up told me I didnt deserve to have a second chance with my ex (who had claimed he wanted us to work things out) - what did I have that she didnt? She thought because she was physically more attractive than me (she was very petite) she deserved what I was getting in my relationships/dating experiences lol. We were friends for 11 years and she cut it off because i wasnt a good friend because i had better dating experiences. Guys wanted actual relationships with me not just fwbs, I was in more steady relationships, able to cohabitate, taken on trips etc.

For months, I questioned myself...was I really that bad of a friend? When i healed from it all I thought was, fuck NO. Lol. Im a damn good person, and I dont need people projecting their personal insecurities onto me. Friends come and go but YOU are constant. You need to realize everybody is just going through their own shit/lives so you wont jive with everyone and THAT'S OKAY. You need to love yourself so much that when someone fucks with you, you can send them compassion and love and move the fuck on. We dont get all the things we want in life, we get exactly what we NEED.

The Universe will put you in situations where you need to learn something and if you dont learn the lesson the first time, then itll keep happening. My ultimate lesson was to learn to be self sufficient, have a thick skin and live my life without a regard for others opinions.

There is something you need to learn from your situation no matter how bleek it may be. Look within yourself. People are only mirrors of our inner battles.

And shit, if you really need a friend or someone to talk to, you could talk to me. I dont know you but I suffered from depression for years because of what happened to me in my past (friendship/family/relationships). Ive been through some shit so my only warning is Im real as fuck. Ill say what I feel, and always encourage you to be the best version of yourself. I dont pity party, as a friend, I remind people of their strengths. Of all my friends, Ive probably had it the worst and I survived on my own. If I can overcome adversity, i sure as shit believe everyone else can too. Ive been physically and violently abused, intimidated, gaslighted, kicked out onto the street by my parents at a young age, ridiculed, dropped for no reason and I still think life is beautiful albeit sometimes tragic. When you can overcome what you perceive as your hardest moments in life, everything else is fuckin peanuts. Believe that. If you have your health and are able to live and function pain free, thats already 1 huge reason why you should ALWAYS...ALWAYS live your life in a state of fuckin gratitude and adaptibility.

[white rocket]

^^^Damn! preach!!

Originally Posted by CorneringArtist

I'm somewhat content showing people I'm okay on the outside but hiding that I'm completely dead inside.

I know that feeling all to well. I swear there is a picture of me beside the word pessimism in the dictionary. It's a tough battle my friend yet I'm feeling thankful that you shared this. For years I surrounded myself with people of the same mindset, constantly looking at all the bad shit and laughing about it's misfortune, almost spitefully. While I feel that I'm a much better person today than I was 5 to 10 years ago, it's still a daily battle. I would go to social functions nervously fearing that others would see my pessimism and call me out on it. Yet, by the nights end everything was kosher and I'd get home and feel like I fooled everyone and felt proud that I hid it so well. Through failed friendships, addiction issues, panic attacks, therapy and whatnot I've learned that you need to heal from the inside and once that happens your view changes. Blaming others for internal issues only pushes people away. I'm just ranting now but I feel grateful today that there is someone out there willing to share their darkness and I feel like I can relate whole-(black)heartedly, so thank you for that

Great thread BTW. I can't recall if I have been in here before. Good stuff in here though.

[BIC_BAWS]

MSREE, what do you think about this:

I feel like sending a text, explaining my weird questions when I was high. The context in a nutshell was I asked if she liked feet stuff or if she liked it when people bit or kissed her ears (which I don't like, into that choking stuff LOL). She took it as licking those things (gross, AND I never mentioned licking). In full disclosure, my intent was to figure out how kinky she was, but ironically I would have been weirded out if she said yes to those things. I wouldn't have ghosted her though.

I don't care for seeing that girl again if she's going to act as immature as this, but do I care for my reputation. And it seems like everything about me goes around anyway. While I could care less about what people think of me, I also want to advert any new rumors.

[CorneringArtist]

Originally Posted by white rocket

^^^Damn! preach!!



I know that feeling all to well. I swear there is a picture of me beside the word pessimism in the dictionary. It's a tough battle my friend yet I'm feeling thankful that you shared this. For years I surrounded myself with people of the same mindset, constantly looking at all the bad shit and laughing about it's misfortune, almost spitefully. While I feel that I'm a much better person today than I was 5 to 10 years ago, it's still a daily battle. I would go to social functions nervously fearing that others would see my pessimism and call me out on it. Yet, by the nights end everything was kosher and I'd get home and feel like I fooled everyone and felt proud that I hid it so well. Through failed friendships, addiction issues, panic attacks, therapy and whatnot I've learned that you need to heal from the inside and once that happens your view changes. Blaming others for internal issues only pushes people away. I'm just ranting now but I feel grateful today that there is someone out there willing to share their darkness and I feel like I can relate whole-(black)heartedly, so thank you for that

Great thread BTW. I can't recall if I have been in here before. Good stuff in here though.

I just look okay at an event for about a couple of hours and go hide in a corner until it's time to leave. You can visibly see me go from hoping I'll enjoy it to "when the fuck can I just go home, no one wants anything to do with me."

This is why I don't have friends and don't like leaving my house unless it's for work or food. I honestly would rather keep people at arms length than deal with being ignored after trying so hard to get to know them and make a meaningful connection. It's happened too many times already.

[white rocket]

Originally Posted by CorneringArtist

I just look okay at an event for about a couple of hours and go hide in a corner until it's time to leave. You can visibly see me go from hoping I'll enjoy it to "when the fuck can I just go home, no one wants anything to do with me."

This is why I don't have friends and don't like leaving my house unless it's for work or food. I honestly would rather keep people at arms length than deal with being ignored after trying so hard to get to know them and make a meaningful connection. It's happened too many times already.

You'd be surprised at how others see you compared to your own view. I doubt it's as you say it is even though you feel the way you do. I can understand and relate to your constant disappointment though. It's a tough hole to come out of but I will say that once you "accept" this feeling as the norm you end up digging yourself a deeper hole. Embracing the darkness only lets it run free and control your life. It is the easy choice though as embracing it is easier than attempting to change it. Change is hard but once you make that step it gets easier. You fall down, you get up. Being disappointed due to others actions is no way to live and once you feel better about yourself you will notice that the feelings and opinions of others mean less and affect you less overall. I'm a pretty fragile guy and external occurrences affect me greatly as I tend to read far to deep into them. As you heal within, those occurrences tend to have less affect on you. Be in control, don't let the actions of others control it for you.

[Traum]

Originally Posted by CorneringArtist

This is why I don't have friends and don't like leaving my house unless it's for work or food. I honestly would rather keep people at arms length than deal with being ignored after trying so hard to get to know them and make a meaningful connection. It's happened too many times already.

Dude, I seem to remember you throwing yourself into autox a couple of years ago and doing quite well as a novice. Have you thought of coming back? I've always found the local autox community to be a very friendly and welcoming one. Esp if you are open to committing yourself to the ELT, there are lots of good friends to be made, laughter to be shared, good natured rivary to be had, LOTS of meaningful work to be done, AND you get to drive your car like it was meant to be driven.

I'm not in a good position to get myself involved in that capacity for the next little while, but it was something I immensely enjoyed when I had the chance. I would highly recommend anyone who enjoys driving to embrace themselves in that community.

(But yes, it's mostly a sausage fest. )

[ZN6]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

MSREE, what do you think about this:

I feel like sending a text, explaining my weird questions when I was high. The context in a nutshell was I asked if she liked feet stuff or if she liked it when people bit or kissed her ears (which I don't like, into that choking stuff LOL). She took it as licking those things (gross, AND I never mentioned licking). In full disclosure, my intent was to figure out how kinky she was, but ironically I would have been weirded out if she said yes to those things. I wouldn't have ghosted her though.

I don't care for seeing that girl again if she's going to act as immature as this, but do I care for my reputation. And it seems like everything about me goes around anyway. While I could care less about what people think of me, I also want to advert any new rumors.

DON'T TALK TO HER ANYMORE. IT'S LIKE EXPLAINING A JOKE;
WHEN YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT AFTER THE FACT, IT'S NOT FUNNY AND ENDS UP MAKING YOU LOOK LIKE A TOOL. PERIOD. YOU STRUCK OUT, MOVE ON. BIG BOLD TEXT SO YOU DON'T MISS THIS.

[ZN6]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Wasted my time anyway. I should stop checking on what she's up to tbh. Not sure how this went from looking for someone to waste my time to attached. Kms LOL

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'nuff said.

[CorneringArtist]

Originally Posted by Traum

Dude, I seem to remember you throwing yourself into autox a couple of years ago and doing quite well as a novice. Have you thought of coming back? I've always found the local autox community to be a very friendly and welcoming one. Esp if you are open to committing yourself to the ELT, there are lots of good friends to be made, laughter to be shared, good natured rivary to be had, LOTS of meaningful work to be done, AND you get to drive your car like it was meant to be driven.

I'm not in a good position to get myself involved in that capacity for the next little while, but it was something I immensely enjoyed when I had the chance. I would highly recommend anyone who enjoys driving to embrace themselves in that community.

(But yes, it's mostly a sausage fest. )

I did try coming back last year before my Golf was caught cheating. Even before that all I got was the vibe as an outsider looking in, and felt like I was kept at arms length by people who were super competitive. Maybe if I kept at it longer, I'd have found a place. For the first couple of heats every time I raced, I had fun, then I found me beside myself in competing and just wanting to go home.

I've accepted that I don't really come off as a friendly person.

[UnknownJinX]

Originally Posted by white rocket

You'd be surprised at how others see you compared to your own view. I doubt it's as you say it is even though you feel the way you do. I can understand and relate to your constant disappointment though. It's a tough hole to come out of but I will say that once you "accept" this feeling as the norm you end up digging yourself a deeper hole. Embracing the darkness only lets it run free and control your life. It is the easy choice though as embracing it is easier than attempting to change it. Change is hard but once you make that step it gets easier. You fall down, you get up. Being disappointed due to others actions is no way to live and once you feel better about yourself you will notice that the feelings and opinions of others mean less and affect you less overall. I'm a pretty fragile guy and external occurrences affect me greatly as I tend to read far to deep into them. As you heal within, those occurrences tend to have less affect on you. Be in control, don't let the actions of others control it for you.

Very well said, especially the bolded parts.

Reminds me of when I first came to Canada. It was completely new to me: new language, new culture, new people, new everything. I could have taken the easy way out and stuck around with other Chinese kids, but I said fuck it, I wanted to try something new, and I didn't come to Canada just to be in another China. Of course, there was also my dad, who pushed me out there to deal with it. Sure, the early days were difficult when my English sucked, but the benefits I see today makes it all worth it. People often confuse me as a CBC, and they are very surprised when I tell them I have just been living here for 6 years.

Same with going to the gym. Hard to push myself to do it, but I just really push myself to do it and I feel great when I am done.

Changes are hard and it takes some efforts to step out of the comfort zone and push yourself through them, but at the end, the benefits make these efforts worthwhile.

I don't really think too hard about what others think about me. Nothing can really be helped, and you cannot please everyone. Some people just can't be pleased in general. Remember, there are good people out there.

Originally Posted by Traum

Dude, I seem to remember you throwing yourself into autox a couple of years ago and doing quite well as a novice. Have you thought of coming back? I've always found the local autox community to be a very friendly and welcoming one. Esp if you are open to committing yourself to the ELT, there are lots of good friends to be made, laughter to be shared, good natured rivary to be had, LOTS of meaningful work to be done, AND you get to drive your car like it was meant to be driven.

I'm not in a good position to get myself involved in that capacity for the next little while, but it was something I immensely enjoyed when I had the chance. I would highly recommend anyone who enjoys driving to embrace themselves in that community.

(But yes, it's mostly a sausage fest. )

Planning to AutoX when the weather gets warmer. Can't wait!

[TOS'd]

Some quality content on this page. I'll have to catch up later.

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

MSREE, what do you think about this:

I feel like sending a text, explaining my weird questions when I was high. The context in a nutshell was I asked if she liked feet stuff or if she liked it when people bit or kissed her ears (which I don't like, into that choking stuff LOL). She took it as licking those things (gross, AND I never mentioned licking). In full disclosure, my intent was to figure out how kinky she was, but ironically I would have been weirded out if she said yes to those things. I wouldn't have ghosted her though.

I don't care for seeing that girl again if she's going to act as immature as this, but do I care for my reputation. And it seems like everything about me goes around anyway. While I could care less about what people think of me, I also want to advert any new rumors.

If she genuinely liked you or was really interested, she wouldnt have ghosted. She would have talked to you the day after like "haha what was last night about...?"
You guys hung out enough that you deserved a simple "hey i dont think its working" type of convo.
I know its hard to get closure - i found the guy who ghosted me on Kik on another account lmao like another username and i BITCHED HIS ASS OUT LOL. But believe me, itll feel the same after - maybe even worse depending what she would say back if she replies. He never replied and it kind of made me feel embarrassed lol.
So id say make your peace with it and move on. Youre better off! You dont need to explain shit to anybody.
That day you got high you wrote weird stuff here and we may have teased you but i dont think anybody thought any less of you because of it lol. Thats how it should be.

[BIC_BAWS]

I think this is the most amount of people I've ever seen on this thread - 18 (12 members 6 guests)