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6793026 01-07-2018 07:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp (Post 8881602)
Meet this girl back in Oct. Short story , it seems she still can't forget her ex even though she knows they have no chance of being together. Yet she still cries over him daily (she came over yesterday for dinner and started crying for 2 hours on and off when we were chatting about it.). One of the reasons she move from Ontario to Vancouver to get away from him. Yet this asshole keeps messaging her on a weekly basis asking how she is doing and even saying if she wants to see him he will come to Vancouver to visit her........ To make things worse he sent her a picture of the dolls they have together when they were still together saying he still have them in his bed every night to remind him of her.... yet he said they can never be together. They can still be friends......

I feel like this dude is toying with her and basically get her to come back to him without doing what he promise her. They almost got marry but the girl wanted to purchase an apartment together at the very least (there are some things she really want him to change). In the end he said he feels fine just renting and he doesn't want to get a mortgage because is too stressful......

I do have feelings for her and want to see if we can go farther. She knows this as well but she also said right now she still misses her ex and can't start a new relationship..... What's weird is that she came over for dinner and chat and cook for me. During new year eve she came over with a bunch of friends and when is time to leave one of my friends offer to give her a ride home but she rather stay overnight. I didn't want to take advantage of her so I let her have the bed and slept on the couch. She was graceful and give me a kiss for not taking advantage of her.

I feel bad for her since she doesn't have a lot of friends in Vancouver and her job hunting isn't exactly going well , cope with her ex keeps messing up her mind and she is having skin allergies. I don't want just leave her alone while she recovers but I don't want her to see me as just a friend. What should I do?

Edit:I feel like even though her ex said he wants to best for her and wants her to be happy I feel like he is doing the exact opposite. Being an asshole and toying with her. Seems like he doesn't even care.
Wow, Jan 7 and I already foresee you getting the best rebound award for 2018

Traum 01-07-2018 01:24 PM
Rule #1 -- Pity or compassion =\= romantic love. A lot of people get it mixed up.

Rule #2 -- Never be the rebound guy. It doesn't work. (Though you might still be able to get some "benefits" out of it.)

Rule #3 -- This type of relocation "opportunities" are always tempting to certain people, because the chances of scoring some degree of "success" (however you want to define that) is generally quite high. If your goal has anything to do with "long term" though, the chances of reaching that goal is usually quite low. Until that someone has a mentality to take root / settle down, do not expect the relationship (at least the romantic part) to be long term.

Man... I miss my 20's and early 30's...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp (Post 8881602)
Meet this girl back in Oct. Short story , it seems she still can't forget her ex even though she knows they have no chance of being together. Yet she still cries over him daily (she came over yesterday for dinner and started crying for 2 hours on and off when we were chatting about it.). One of the reasons she move from Ontario to Vancouver to get away from him. Yet this asshole keeps messaging her on a weekly basis asking how she is doing and even saying if she wants to see him he will come to Vancouver to visit her........ To make things worse he sent her a picture of the dolls they have together when they were still together saying he still have them in his bed every night to remind him of her.... yet he said they can never be together. They can still be friends......

I feel like this dude is toying with her and basically get her to come back to him without doing what he promise her. They almost got marry but the girl wanted to purchase an apartment together at the very least (there are some things she really want him to change). In the end he said he feels fine just renting and he doesn't want to get a mortgage because is too stressful......

I do have feelings for her and want to see if we can go farther. She knows this as well but she also said right now she still misses her ex and can't start a new relationship..... What's weird is that she came over for dinner and chat and cook for me. During new year eve she came over with a bunch of friends and when is time to leave one of my friends offer to give her a ride home but she rather stay overnight. I didn't want to take advantage of her so I let her have the bed and slept on the couch. She was graceful and give me a kiss for not taking advantage of her.

I feel bad for her since she doesn't have a lot of friends in Vancouver and her job hunting isn't exactly going well , cope with her ex keeps messing up her mind and she is having skin allergies. I don't want just leave her alone while she recovers but I don't want her to see me as just a friend. What should I do?

Edit:I feel like even though her ex said he wants to best for her and wants her to be happy I feel like he is doing the exact opposite. Being an asshole and toying with her. Seems like he doesn't even care.

Mr.HappySilp 01-07-2018 01:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tegra7 (Post 8881628)
She obviously has strong feelings for him still. Sadly there is not much you can do except give it some time, most likely she's sticking around you because she's lonely.
I am guessing she is lonely. She only have a part time job now at retail. She used to work 7 days a week to keep her mind busy. She just quit her full time job. Long story short never work for a cheap ass Asian boss lol.

I think her strong feeling is that since she is the one who chase the guy first because she really likes him (for his looks lol). Why do Chinese girls always like these Xiao xian rou = meaning the guy is young and pretty looking.) She have to think about her age too. Her being 34 and the guy is like mind 20s my god of course the guy doesn't care much lol. He still having the time of his life of course he doesn't want to get marry or get a mortgage and get tie down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Traum (Post 8881654)
Rule #1 -- Pity or compassion =\= romantic love. A lot of people get it mixed up.

Rule #2 -- Never be the rebound guy. It doesn't work. (Though you might still be able to get some "benefits" out of it.)

Rule #3 -- This type of relocation "opportunities" are always tempting to certain people, because the chances of scoring some degree of "success" (however you want to define that) is generally quite high. If your goal has anything to do with "long term" though, the chances of reaching that goal is usually quite low. Until that someone has a mentality to take root / settle down, do not expect the relationship (at least the romantic part) to be long term.

Man... I miss my 20's and early 30's...
I go with my feelings when it comes to finding a gf. If I feel I have a feeling for a girl then I will go for it. At least that's how I always start a relationship.

Point A. I didn't know her background before I meet her so she just kind of said it as we talk more often. I didn't have like a strong feeling at first but is more like hmmmm I feel this girl isn't bad and I feel this can be turn into something good.

Point B. That's true. That's why I am not sure I should stay away from her for a bit till she forgets about her ex or just play it and see how things are.

Point C. One of the reason she wants to come here is because Ontario is too cold for her. She can't handle it. Also is very windy there. Her health isn't the best so staying at a cold place is not good. So she always wanted to move to Vancouver. Now she also broke up as well so she just pack her bags and decided to leave.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tiger_handheld (Post 8881617)
most phones these days have a "block number" feature and most social media sites also have a "block feature". Suggest you learn these and do it for her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiger_handheld (Post 8881617)

gl.
That's what I said and she can always change her phone number (still using her old one). She doesn't want to since I guess her phone and his phone are link so she can always track where he is via find my phone features. Makes her feel better.

I think is a love hate relation type of thing for her now. She wants to forget him but feels sad about it so keeping her old phone number he will still be able to contact her (which he does weekly).

To be honest I partly blame all the TV shows, IG, FB these days. You should all these perfect guys, happy endings in TV shows girls just expect it to happen. Also they expect to find the perfect guy of their dreams which fits everything they want. In reality that never happens so they end up waiting and waiting. On IG and FB people only posted happy things so when others see it they get wrong impression and why their life is so sad compare to others.

I feel like if the guy only stops bugging her she will be a lot better by now.

tegra7 01-07-2018 02:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 6793026 (Post 8881631)
Wow, Jan 7 and I already foresee you getting the best rebound award for 2018
Fuck off

BIC_BAWS 01-08-2018 08:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp (Post 8881658)
To be honest I partly blame all the TV shows, IG, FB these days. You should all these perfect guys, happy endings in TV shows girls just expect it to happen. Also they expect to find the perfect guy of their dreams which fits everything they want. In reality that never happens so they end up waiting and waiting. On IG and FB people only posted happy things so when others see it they get wrong impression and why their life is so sad compare to others.
This is what's wrong with girls (not women) these days. They watch so much TVB and expect TVB level of commitment/dedication/romance. And they pretend to hate, but live for all the drama.



Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

Mr.HappySilp 01-08-2018 09:28 PM
^^ TVB is nothing when you compare it to Korean and Chinese dramas.
Try watching
致我们单纯的小美好
极光之恋
微微一笑很傾城

Just to name a few. Korean ones are the worse lol. The main male cast is literally Mr.Perfect. They are good looking, tall either is rich, or very talented , cool looking. Anyways I decided just to be friends with her. Less hassle.

BIC_BAWS 01-08-2018 09:33 PM
^ ugh y u gotta give me more procrastination. I finished Love o2o (cdrama) not too long ago. Just finished Good Doctors (kdrama) and Doctor Stranger (kdrama)

On note of kdrama, it's actually not that exaggerated. It's a pretty good reflection on Korean society. Upon talking about it with my friends that are from Korea or are currently living in Korea, the ridiculous societal standards/expectations/norms and behaviors in the dramas are actually pretty much just like that irl.

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Mr.HappySilp 01-08-2018 10:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS (Post 8881885)
^ ugh y u gotta give me more procrastination. I finished Love o2o (cdrama) not too long ago. Just finished Good Doctors (kdrama) and Doctor Stranger (kdrama)

On note of kdrama, it's actually not that exaggerated. It's a pretty good reflection on Korean society. Upon talking about it with my friends that are from Korea or are currently living in Korea, the ridiculous societal standards/expectations/norms and behaviors in the dramas are actually pretty much just like that irl.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
I kinda of hard that too. The guy have to earn a lot of money, gets a good career, owns a house before even considering getting into a serious relationship. Even after you have a family you have now have to work harder. Maybe we have it easy in Vancouver?

Now you should watch 致我们单纯的小美好 because it was pretty hit a few months back.

BIC_BAWS 01-08-2018 10:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp (Post 8881897)
I kinda of hard that too. The guy have to earn a lot of money, gets a good career, owns a house before even considering getting into a serious relationship. Even after you have a family you have now have to work harder. Maybe we have it easy in Vancouver?

Now you should watch 致我们单纯的小美好 because it was pretty hit a few months back.
More like the evil shit that happens, backstabbing/talking shit etc, all of that is legit. I thought Chinese was bad to "step on others to climb up", but korea takes it to a whole new level.

Now what's the English title to that show, cause I can't read Chinese. Eng subs only LOL

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UnknownJinX 01-09-2018 08:55 AM
I recall watching some drama last week with some Chinese buddies when I was playing Uno(which is a fun and easy-to-learn card game) with them.

I kinda liked watching it, but only with friends. If I am alone, I probably won't watch anything like that.

BIC_BAWS 01-09-2018 09:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnknownJinX (Post 8881930)
when I was playing Uno(which is a fun and easy-to-learn card game) with them.
Wait, but who doesn't know what Uno is LOL. That was like my childhood



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coneZONE 01-09-2018 06:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS (Post 8881933)
Wait, but who doesn't know what Uno is LOL. That was like my childhood
somehow i don't think North American card games and board games are very well known in China lol

UnknownJinX 01-10-2018 09:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by coneZONE (Post 8882045)
somehow i don't think North American card games and board games are very well known in China lol
Some of them are easily translated. Uno doesn't even involve any language and the rules are easily translated.

Another one we played before was Citadel. It was also an addicting game. Again, easy to translate to Chinese without complications.

If we are talking about Cards Against Humanity, that's a different story, as it mainly focuses on dark humor/jokes in North American culture that don't work well in Asian culture.

ZN6 01-10-2018 12:07 PM
Sheesh, just play big 2, it's got elements of poker, mahjong, highest card/hand and possibly boobs if there's enough alcohol.

Dollar per card or article of clothing per card, her choice.

Mr.HappySilp 01-12-2018 11:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnknownJinX (Post 8882119)
Some of them are easily translated. Uno doesn't even involve any language and the rules are easily translated.

Another one we played before was Citadel. It was also an addicting game. Again, easy to translate to Chinese without complications.

If we are talking about Cards Against Humanity, that's a different story, as it mainly focuses on dark humor/jokes in North American culture that don't work well in Asian culture.
I play exploding kittens with Asians all the time. Is easy to learn, fun to play and you get to know who is your real friends.

Presto 01-12-2018 02:35 PM
Unless you add 'kegger', it doesn't matter if you change the name. It's still a baby shower. Therefore, I will not be going. I have learned my lesson, and avoid these girl parties at all costs.

CorneringArtist 01-12-2018 06:57 PM
Head says yes, willpower says yes, anxiety says LOL NOPE.

MSREE 01-13-2018 11:44 AM
Have fun rotting in jail with your lies!

tegra7 01-13-2018 09:53 PM
He's in jail for life and has a gf? I cant even get a text back.

BIC_BAWS 01-13-2018 09:55 PM
Hopefully I'll get the car finally fixed tomorrow. I'm scared there's going to be HG or other issues tho. First start up in a month, let's hope I don't have to get towed during the test drive.

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MSREE 01-13-2018 10:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tegra7 (Post 8882701)
He's in jail for life and has a gf? I cant even get a text back.
It's not hard if you're a foreigner in the Philippines lol. That's why all the really old white dudes go to be with younger Filipino women who barely speak English lol.

GS8 01-14-2018 08:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MSREE (Post 8882703)
It's not hard if you're a foreigner in the Philippines lol. That's why all the really old white dudes go to be with younger Filipino women who barely speak English lol.
So true. I remember when I briefly tried a dating app and 97% of the women who messaged me were Flips who had these elaborate well written (English) profiles yet their direct messages were harder to decipher than a 2 year old rambling about giraffes and toast.

The gist was they were all identical, they may as well have been a single person with 50 different accounts but they weren't. Most of them called me 'babe' (I'm a fucking dude pls don't) and wanted me to move over there and take care of them because they don't have enough fun working long hours doing call centre shit.

Standard convo:

Me: 'We exchanged 3 total messages with each other and you want me to head over there to meet you'?

Them: 'Yes'

Me: 'Why?'

Them: 'Because love is greater than distance no matter the distance'

Me: 'Bitch what??'

:fuckthatshit:

MSREE 01-15-2018 10:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GS8 (Post 8882833)
So true. I remember when I briefly tried a dating app and 97% of the women who messaged me were Flips who had these elaborate well written (English) profiles yet their direct messages were harder to decipher than a 2 year old rambling about giraffes and toast.

The gist was they were all identical, they may as well have been a single person with 50 different accounts but they weren't. Most of them called me 'babe' (I'm a fucking dude pls don't) and wanted me to move over there and take care of them because they don't have enough fun working long hours doing call centre shit.

Standard convo:

Me: 'We exchanged 3 total messages with each other and you want me to head over there to meet you'?

Them: 'Yes'

Me: 'Why?'

Them: 'Because love is greater than distance no matter the distance'

Me: 'Bitch what??'

:fuckthatshit:
Hahahahahah but actually it's because your Canadian dollar exchange value is greater than any distance endured :devil:

jinxcrusader 01-15-2018 03:36 PM
happyslip, she's 34 and she's hung up on some 20 year old kid? She needs to get her priorities straight. If she doesn't start settling down now she's pretty much going to be one of those left over women you hear about in Asia.

Akinari 01-16-2018 09:54 AM
9-5ers, please enlighten me.

Is being stuck in an office behind your desk with your own computer and stuff really that great in reality? I've always had this dream of moving away from retail (almost 5yrs now) with a crazy inconsistent schedule working till 10 or 11 sometimes overnight, and having a job with a consistent schedule, either 9-5 or 8-4 or whatever. There's just something so surreal about being in an office stuck in a cubicle to me that just seems so foreign yet exciting.

Am I dreaming?


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