Speak it Out

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by MSREE

How do you get guys to clean?
Im super unhappy and feel like hes treating me like a maid......that doesnt get paid

Just curious, you mentioned you don't work at the moment. So do you guys split the cost of living stuff like renting, utilities, and groceries?

I feel like some couples where it isn't a fair split. Something as simple as cleaning once in a while is warranted.

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

Just curious, you mentioned you don't work at the moment. So do you guys split the cost of living stuff like renting, utilities, and groceries?

I feel like some couples where it isn't a fair split. Something as simple as cleaning once in a while is warranted.

Oh I cant work cuz of a medical condition... Its not by choice haha. He takes care of everything financial. But my medical condition also gives me heavy reactions to allergens & all types of cleaning chemicals, even dish soap. I use long washing gloves, wear long sleeves, basically what I can but my bf is the type of guy to use dishes and pile them until there is none left so contact with small splashes of soapy water is inevitable if Im planning on eating that day...which results in me being uncomfortable/in pain for the next 2 days.

I switched over to a vinegar tea tree oil water solution for general cleaning countertops and stuff but even that in our bathroom can cause my eyes to swell completely shut if I attempt to do too much in 1 day.

He is a 6 foot 200+ lb Tasmanian devil tornado. Im on my second year of not working because I havent been getting better basically. My immune system is extremely compromised, I tried going back to work a couple times, which led to me getting more sick.....

At the beginning of our relationship I did support him financially b/c he was just starting at his company.........so when I got sick, him supporting me wasnt an issue. Money for us in general is not a stressor at all. When I was providing for him, I still did all the housework by myself.

I know what you mean like under normal circumstances. But he hasnt lifted a finger since I got here and I've asked for his help numerous times. He just wont do anything until Im actually in the hospital or something equally drastic, like if Im on a round of steroids/antihistamines that make me so weak I cant even walk to the washroom by myself sort of thing.

[CivicBlues]

^Just curious, what's the name of the medical condition afflicting you?

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by CivicBlues

^Just curious, what's the name of the medical condition afflicting you?

I got a viral infection when I was 15 in my eyes that almost killed me so I had a needle in my hand for 3 months for daily antibiotic IV drips and went blind for that time period. In 2014, I took a long round of oral antibiotics b/c of a recurring respiratory infection and that killed all the probiotics in my body. Because of all that, i dont have and cant maintain the amount of probiotics in my gut a normal person needs. The level of histamines in my blood is like 5x that of a healthy person, so I experience inflammatory responses to regular shit that normal people can handle. I take extremely high doses of probiotics daily.

Western medicine docs have tried to load me up with steroids to fight the systemic inflammation which causes steroid withdrawal and makes it worse so I only use it when I have no other options.

Antibiotics and steroids are the devil.
So say you had an allergic reaction to something then took a Benadryl and you were back to normal in 24 hours.
My equivalent is I'll have a reaction and Im down for 3-4 whole months with a swollen face, extreme pain, hair loss, random skin cracks/bleeding, no energy etc.

There was a solid 6 months where I couldnt take a shower without screaming bloody murder because my skin would just split apart and start bleeding from me doing something like trying to put a shirt on or some simple sad shit like that lol.

Its not that bad anymore but it can be if I try to do more than I can physically handle. I aint no bitch either, I have a crazy high pain tolerance but that shit was something else..... And I never wanna go through it again if I can help it LOL

[Fafine]

Originally Posted by MSREE

Oh I cant work cuz of a medical condition... Its not by choice haha. He takes care of everything financial. But my medical condition also gives me heavy reactions to allergens & all types of cleaning chemicals, even dish soap. I use long washing gloves, wear long sleeves, basically what I can but my bf is the type of guy to use dishes and pile them until there is none left so contact with small splashes of soapy water is inevitable if Im planning on eating that day...which results in me being uncomfortable/in pain for the next 2 days.

I switched over to a vinegar tea tree oil water solution for general cleaning countertops and stuff but even that in our bathroom can cause my eyes to swell completely shut if I attempt to do too much in 1 day.

He is a 6 foot 200+ lb Tasmanian devil tornado. Im on my second year of not working because I havent been getting better basically. My immune system is extremely compromised, I tried going back to work a couple times, which led to me getting more sick.....

At the beginning of our relationship I did support him financially b/c he was just starting at his company.........so when I got sick, him supporting me wasnt an issue. Money for us in general is not a stressor at all. When I was providing for him, I still did all the housework by myself.

I know what you mean like under normal circumstances. But he hasnt lifted a finger since I got here and I've asked for his help numerous times. He just wont do anything until Im actually in the hospital or something equally drastic, like if Im on a round of steroids/antihistamines that make me so weak I cant even walk to the washroom by myself sort of thing.

use the money to buy a dish washer,
also if money isnt tight, it's not expensive to hire someone to come in and clean the house once a week

[CivicBlues]

Originally Posted by MSREE

I got a viral infection when I was 15 in my eyes that almost killed me so I had a needle in my hand for 3 months for daily antibiotic IV drips and went blind for that time period. In 2014, I took a long round of oral antibiotics b/c of a recurring respiratory infection and that killed all the probiotics in my body. Because of all that, i dont have and cant maintain the amount of probiotics in my gut a normal person needs. The level of histamines in my blood is like 5x that of a healthy person, so I experience inflammatory responses to regular shit that normal people can handle. I take extremely high doses of probiotics daily.

Western medicine docs have tried to load me up with steroids to fight the systemic inflammation which causes steroid withdrawal and makes it worse so I only use it when I have no other options.

Antibiotics and steroids are the devil.
So say you had an allergic reaction to something then took a Benadryl and you were back to normal in 24 hours.
My equivalent is I'll have a reaction and Im down for 3-4 whole months with a swollen face, extreme pain, hair loss, random skin cracks/bleeding, no energy etc.

There was a solid 6 months where I couldnt take a shower without screaming bloody murder because my skin would just split apart and start bleeding from me doing something like trying to put a shirt on or some simple sad shit like that lol.

Its not that bad anymore but it can be if I try to do more than I can physically handle. I aint no bitch either, I have a crazy high pain tolerance but that shit was something else..... And I never wanna go through it again if I can help it LOL

Jesus christ, have you considered suing for medical malpractice?

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by CivicBlues

Jesus christ, have you considered suing for medical malpractice?

I dont think I can? Ive had eczema all my life so I had a predisposition to weak probiotics already but western doctors didnt even really know much about link between gut health and skin conditions when I was 15?
Even now, i went to the hospital last January because legit my whole body was swollen and cracked,they couldnt even find a spot to take blood from.. They ended up tapping a vein close to one of my fingers. The hospital then just sent me home with steroids and antihistamines?? Theyre so useless LOL

I found much better information looking at holistic wellness and chinese medicine tbh! Of course it takes months to work cuz it has to build up in your system since its all natural but I prefer it........ My liver gets overworked from taking antihistamines already lol.

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by Fafine

use the money to buy a dish washer,
also if money isnt tight, it's not expensive to hire someone to come in and clean the house once a week

Thanks! I forgot they had portable dishwashers... I started researching about them when I saw your post!

And yeah, i think if he doesnt get consistent with helping me Ill have to look into getting someone in here for sure. He keeps saying hes gonna help out more and just never follow through lol

[CorneringArtist]

I'm a worthless person who brings little value without putting up a fake front.

[UnknownJinX]

What happened?

We all have to put on a fake front at some point.

[CorneringArtist]

Originally Posted by UnknownJinX

What happened?

We all have to put on a fake front at some point.

Nothing at all. It's getting increasingly difficult to put on a front every single day, unless people want to deal with someone completely useless in every way possible.

[Traum]

Originally Posted by CorneringArtist

I'm a worthless person who brings little value without putting up a fake front.

That kind of thinking is exactly what you need to draw yourself away from, man.

And like UnknownJinX says, we all have to put up a fake front at one time or another.

[Akinari]

Being led on is the worst.

[UnknownJinX]

Originally Posted by CorneringArtist

Nothing at all. It's getting increasingly difficult to put on a front every single day, unless people want to deal with someone completely useless in every way possible.

I think I said it before at some point, but this kind of thinking creates a very bad cycle. You think you are useless, so you don't do anything, which actually does make you useless, and you think worse of yourself.

One thing to realize is that everyone fucks up at some point. Even the most successful men do. If you make a mistake, so be it. No one is perfect.

[MSREE]

Originally Posted by Akinari

Being led on is the worst.

I'd argue getting cheated on is worse irl haha
What happened??

[Akinari]

Originally Posted by MSREE

I'd argue getting cheated on is worse irl haha
What happened??

Long story short, girl I had been seeing, three perfect dates, like couldn’t be anymore perfect from the conversations to the vibes to what we did (all three dates started from lunch/dinner till like 2-4:30am), thought it was a sure thing and I was a few hours away from asking to start going steady, she messages me and says she’s not ready for a relationship because she’s going into a busy part of her life etc etc and she wants to be friends.

I’ve had dating experience, I don’t “commit” until all the signs are there, and they were, including abundant physicality (nothing sexual).

So yeah, I felt pretty devastated yesterday. Just went to sleep super early cause of how disappointed I was.

[Traum]

^^ You know, this just sounds like a regular dating scenario that happens all the time. Personally, I've lost count how many times it has happened to me -- most of the time, it was the girl backing out, but I won't pretend that I haven't done it to a few girls either.

So yeah, just keep going along with life. There is no need to get hung up on it. When I was young and stupid, I didn't take it well, and it always ended in the most disastrous way possible. When I've finally smarted up a bit and the girl pulled back like this, I respected her preference to maintain a bit of distance, but kept letting her know that I was still interested. Sometimes that worked and we ended up dating (and more). Sometimes that didn't, and we ended up as friends or accquiantances. Sometimes the girl really meant they want to ghost you. It's all normal parts of the dating game. You just gotta read each situation individually.

[Akinari]

I got a great night's sleep last night, and woke up to a brief apology from her, hit the gym and all's well now

Maybe I was just tired. I slept at 6am the night before after the date and got like 5hrs of sleep.

[6793026]

^ perfect time to ghost her now. ahahahah jk

hopefully she'll realize dating is a great way to find support during busy times instead of seeing it as a burden.

[Mr.Money]

she might've masturbated and said fuck that guy i don't have feelings for him..
till the Batteries ran out


no, i think my crush did that cause she didn't flirt as much one day.

[threezero]

Been dating her for almost a year now.She is cute, kind hearted and not into the partying scene. I am in loved.

She drop the bombshell on me few days ago, saying I dont care much for her and that I was just treating her as a fwb the whole time.

yes the sex is great, I am beginning to get the feeling thats the only reason why she hasn't left. but still wtf????

[CorneringArtist]

Everything is my fault. Not my problem? Still my fault.

[yray]

Originally Posted by CorneringArtist

Everything is my fault. Not my problem? Still my fault.

try reading the book " the subtle art of not giving a fuck"

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by threezero

Been dating her for almost a year now.She is cute, kind hearted and not into the partying scene. I am in loved.

She drop the bombshell on me few days ago, saying I dont care much for her and that I was just treating her as a fwb the whole time.

I wonder if she knew how you felt about her. Did you take her out on dates, etc? Celebrate anniversaries? Do couple stuff? That's weird to have been dating for a year, but it feels like y'all just see each other to fuck.


Where do you guys (everyone here in general) draw the line between seeing each other, dating, boyfriend/girlfriend status? What's the distinction? Do you guys tell each other you're exclusive?

[european]

why you no follow me on YT & IG?!!