Speak it Out

[6793026]

Originally Posted by instantneedles

Have any of you dated anyone you weren't physically attracted to right away, but gave it a try anyway and have it succeed?

A lot of girls are like that. 9/10 times, they aren't attracted cause "he ain't my type" and then after we pursue them a few times, they get to know us a bit more, we grow on them. They start to realize there's a lot more on the inside and looks is just the first 10%.

I on the other hand, live by this rule, cute girl are usually no substance and they are used to dude giving it all to them; I date girls who aren't getting too much attention and they fall super hard for you.

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

We didn't make to 1 year, evidently above. But the past 11 months or so, have been fine. It wasn't great, we fought, but which couples don't fight? If the above events didn't happen, I'd still be happily together with her right now.

yup, my last gf was the same, it was easy at first 10 months, but when it came down to the critical events or some bigger decisions, it didn't work. I now realized the day to day stuff is importance, but one still need to know how to work thru the mission critical stuff.

Love my X to pieces, but I wasn't "giving enough" to her, I didn't buy her the nice things, I wasn't able to provide by giving her a big massive wedding. I left in peace so she can go chase after a guy who can give her the monetary stuff (which translates to "love"); guess it won't be me.

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by 6793026

I date girls who aren't getting too much attention and they fall super hard for you.

Thing with this tho, is that those type of girls typically lack self confidence or simply don't love themselves. Case in point with my now ex.

Originally Posted by 6793026

yup, my last gf was the same, it was easy at first 10 months, but when it came down to the critical events or some bigger decisions, it didn't work. I now realized the day to day stuff is importance, but one still need to know how to work thru the mission critical stuff.

Love my X to pieces, but I wasn't "giving enough" to her, I didn't buy her the nice things, I wasn't able to provide by giving her a big massive wedding. I left in peace so she can go chase after a guy who can give her the monetary stuff (which translates to "love"); guess it won't be me.

I definitively realized today what my ex meant by it wasn't just her parents driving us apart. It was so many things. I just didn't see it because of the above reason, I had the "upper hand" in the relationship. She treated me so good and was so patient. But I still managed to fuck it up. I guess I didn't think she would actually leave, so I took her for granted. I was so fucking selfish. Since I knew she was a little immature and didn't think rationally, I chalked everything up to her just being emotional. Instead of apologizing for whatever or telling her that I miss her and love her, I would try to explain to her why her actions are irrational. Essentially justify how valid I was / didn't need to rectify.

If I could recognize I was doing that, maybe I wouldn't have lost her. Maybe she would have kept trying harder. I really fucked up and I've accepted that there's no way for me to change it.

[Traum]

Originally Posted by instantneedles

Have any of you dated anyone you weren't physically attracted to right away, but gave it a try anyway and have it succeed?

A lot of my ex'es fall into that category -- maybe 1/3 to as much as half of them? But there is always some sort of attraction that draws me in though. Being smart is one of them. Perhaps that wasn't such a smart move on my part, but I was (and continue to be) attracted by smart girls. Obviously, I don't think any of the girls I have dated are ugly. But for me, instant physical attraction isn't always necessary.

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

I definitively realized today what my ex meant by it wasn't just her parents driving us apart. It was so many things. I just didn't see it because of the above reason, I had the "upper hand" in the relationship. She treated me so good and was so patient. But I still managed to fuck it up. I guess I didn't think she would actually leave, so I took her for granted. I was so fucking selfish. Since I knew she was a little immature and didn't think rationally, I chalked everything up to her just being emotional. Instead of apologizing for whatever or telling her that I miss her and love her, I would try to explain to her why her actions are irrational. Essentially justify how valid I was / didn't need to rectify.

Been there, done that, and I know exactly what you mean and what is going through your head (and your heart) now. For me, I took all of those lessons -- every single one of them -- to heart, and I learned a hell of a lot from them. As one of my ex'es once said -- my future girlfriends have her to thank because she had taught me so much, and she was absolutely right.

Learn from the mistakes, and you won't make those same mistakes again. (You'll just make new ones that are equally as bad... Eventually though, all of those lessons will pay off.

Good luck.

[instantneedles]

Originally Posted by 6793026

I on the other hand, live by this rule, cute girl are usually no substance and they are used to dude giving it all to them; I date girls who aren't getting too much attention and they fall super hard for you.

this 100%.

I think we still live in a culture where women are valued more for their appearance, and the ones that don't automatically fit the beauty ideal are counted out. Vice versa for guys and money or materialistic things.

The girl I'm talking about is fit, plays sports, and very educated, but she won't do things like wear make-up, put on a push-up bra, be extra flirty with guys to make herself seem more attractive and therefore doesn't get a lot of attention from guys. (no I'm not posting pics)

Props to you gentlemen for taking the plunge and putting yourselves out there, rather than staying home and beating off on your couch. Like you all said, with experience, you get more confident in what it is you are looking for in a relationship.

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by instantneedles

The girl I'm talking about is fit, plays sports, and very educated, but she won't do things like wear make-up, put on a push-up bra, be extra flirty with guys to make herself seem more attractive and therefore doesn't get a lot of attention from guys. (no I'm not posting pics)

My, now, ex-girlfriend didn't wear make up on the first date. Hell I would have considered her as ugly. Defs not my type, small tits, big (fat) ass. But I learned to look beyond that.

AND when she did wear makeup and dresses, she looked fine and classy af. Like that would have been an easy 7.5 to 8 /10 if she looked like that when I first met her.

I think if the girl you're talking about knows how to do makeup, take care of her skin, you'll be fine.

[6793026]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

I just didn't see it because of the above reason, I had the "upper hand" in the relationship. She treated me so good and was so patient.

This is interesting; I never ever think I have an upper hand on any relationship. I tell my X all the time, its always an honor to be dating each other and its my goal / vision / calling to continue to love you everyday (and continue to invest). SO, don't take me for granted. Now, if you do find anyone better than me, PLEASE do so in telling me who he is cause I would know how awesome this guy is. Second, if you ever cheat on me and pull some stupid shit, I will put the move from Heat, and drop and leave the girl within 30 seconds flat.

Done it once when my x pulled a stupid move and flirted with her X. As to my other Xs, once I break up, i ghost them.

[Mr.HappySilp]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Thing with this tho, is that those type of girls typically lack self confidence or simply don't love themselves. Case in point with my now ex.



I definitively realized today what my ex meant by it wasn't just her parents driving us apart. It was so many things. I just didn't see it because of the above reason, I had the "upper hand" in the relationship. She treated me so good and was so patient. But I still managed to fuck it up. I guess I didn't think she would actually leave, so I took her for granted. I was so fucking selfish. Since I knew she was a little immature and didn't think rationally, I chalked everything up to her just being emotional. Instead of apologizing for whatever or telling her that I miss her and love her, I would try to explain to her why her actions are irrational. Essentially justify how valid I was / didn't need to rectify.

If I could recognize I was doing that, maybe I wouldn't have lost her. Maybe she would have kept trying harder. I really fucked up and I've accepted that there's no way for me to change it.

What I learn is the little things do add up a lot. 6 month into marriage life and I can tell you the little things you do really adds up (IE picking wife up after she works out at a nearby rec center at night, taking the garbage out, remember what she needs to buy at the grocery store, helping around the house, hugging her while sleeping etc etc) all these things might seem small and a lot of times people just brush them off. However, living together means working together to keep the family and make everyone happy. Also making mature decisions and putting her first/think about her feelings first before mine really helps the relationships a lot. Most girls would rather you care about them/put them first than if you just keep buying expensive presents.

[Hondaracer]

Looking rich but being poor is way cooler than being rich and looking poor

[Mr.Money]

is money important in a relationship?...god damn right it is....as in her words "If you cannot provide for us,i don't want to be with you".

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by Mr.Money

is money important in a relationship?...god damn right it is....as in her words "If you cannot provide for us,i don't want to be with you".

It definitely is. I can provide just fine. I have no idea how my family's finances has any effect on my own or my future earning potential.

The irony is that she works minimum wage (5hrs/week), asks parents for money, and sucks at saving.

I have not asked my parents for money since I was 12, work full time + startup, and while I suck at saving in a bank account - my investments make up for it.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

[bcrdukes]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

It definitely is. I can provide just fine. I have no idea how my family's finances has any effect on my own or my future earning potential.

The irony is that she works minimum wage (5hrs/week), asks parents for money, and sucks at saving.

I have not asked my parents for money since I was 12, work full time + startup, and while I suck at saving in a bank account - my investments make up for it.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

Given her financial, career, and personal circumstances, do you really want to be with someone like that (and potentially for the rest of your life?) How does one even get by on working 5 hours a week on minimum wage? You are better off!

[6793026]

Originally Posted by Mr.Money

"If you cannot provide for us,i don't want to be with you".

FALKKKK these bitches. In 20 years, they will be those bitching about how tough it is to make a living (but it really is cause of their spending habits)... as for you, you'll be at a much better place.

[GS8]

I make pretty good money (due to having a very specific job role) but I live kinda poor. That's due to me growing up lower-middle class and learning from my parents how to stay ahead. I also drive around in a $1450 car, not a $41,500 car as I personally hate debt.

The downside being I work a lot, particularly this year. I moved to a condo back in June but nicknamed my home as 'the shelter' as that's pretty much what I used it as until just last week. Also, my social life has been non-existent so I'm at the point where I'm refusing projects despite all the 'you'll get more money!' chants. Fuck that.

So when I troll dating apps and see all these people who talk about traveling the world, eating out and #wanderlust with zero intellectual discourse, I just laugh. Despite their attractive appearances, I know they have Chiclets for brains. I refuse to take everything I work hard for and hand it over to someone who lives a different lifestyle from me. Part time and low wage relative to age? Yeah no, Keep your MA in Sociology with $85k debt and

[Gerbs]

I don't know too many common job roles that make the so-called "good money" in Vancouver other than software devs these days

[PK-EK]

*-

[SpeedStars]

I've had a girl ghost me after learning what I did for a living...her occupation was being a full-time student

How much would you guys have to make to classify as "good" money in Vancouver?

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by SpeedStars

I've had a girl ghost me after learning what I did for a living...her occupation was being a full-time student

How much would you guys have to make to classify as "good" money in Vancouver?

1. I hate how students think going to school is a full-time gig, or is equivalent to working full time. Unless you're full time BCIT, fuck off, mate.

2. I would say for a single individual, 80K-90K would be good; 91-110K would be excellent.

I don't think income is a good indicator, I would say the better indicator is how much savings you have. A student making minimum wage, but saves every dollar, is richer than you if you spent every dollar.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

[bcrdukes]

GS8 must be a real catch then.

[tiger_handheld]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

1. I hate how students think going to school is a full-time gig, or is equivalent to working full time. Unless you're full time BCIT, fuck off, mate.

2. I would say for a single individual, 80K-90K would be good; 91-110K would be excellent.

I don't think income is a good indicator, I would say the better indicator is how much savings you have. A student making minimum wage, but saves every dollar, is richer than you if you spent every dollar.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

i say having around 80k in savings (investments or equity in r/e) + 80k job is average now a days. 80k is the new 50k (when making 50k pushing a broom because of a union was considered to be a decent living).

[ilovebacon]

^ you guys are making 80k right out of school...? I am still maintaining a part-time position while trying to get my first foot through that door after two years..

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by ilovebacon

^ you guys are making 80k right out of school...? I am still maintaining a part-time position while trying to get my first foot through that door after two years..

No I wish LOL. But my friend is making 110K right out of a diploma as a Information Security specialist

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

[6793026]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

1. I hate how students think going to school is a full-time gig, or is equivalent to working full time. Unless you're full time BCIT, fuck off, mate.

2. I would say for a single individual, 80K-90K would be good; 91-110K would be excellent.

do you know how hard it is to make 80-90k and or hit 91 -110k

I got laid off in Nov and in the market now. 110k pure salary jobs are mostly VP / directors. We are talking about solid 8-10 yrs of experience + managing a team.
I do this reality check with kids at my church. (Aside from specialized training /field eg// gov't worker, doctors, engineers, programs etc).

-$35k is min/starting wage give or take. $$17.5 bucks an hr

-$45-55k ($23.5 - $29 / hr) is with a solid 3-5 yrs of experience and you might get promoted within or heck, you get lucky getting into these flashy companies. Lulu, Aritizia, Global relay, any tech company (absolute, veeam, SAP) etc.

-$55k-80k ($30-40/ hr) level is extremely hard to crack. Exp is a must (duh) and you should be bringing SOMETHING to the company's bottom line (at least indirectly). Ain't no receptionist or assistant getting $80k. Lastly, you'll need a whole lot of luck because the pool has a shit load of talent with 5+ experience over you AND at least 10+ people with better resumes (previous work brand names).

-$80k - 110 base salary ($45-55 / hr)+ commission (OTE 150+). I'm focusing on sales job. Bringing in revenue directly is a must. Most likely a hunter and experience, your brand name, resume and track record is mandatory. These jobs are out there but i have to say, landing one is a bit tough because I can assure you competition is fierce.

If not in sales, you better be a diretor / project manager with at least 3-5 unique skill sets (certificates Cisco, PMP, etc to even get up to the 80k level).

I yell at my friends who complains and offer this reality check. Median income is 55k after taxes (in BC 2019). I always respect those who are earning the 80k range as they are already considered very fortunate people in BC.

[PK-EK]

Originally Posted by 6793026

do you know how hard it is to make 80-90k and or hit 91 -110k

I got laid off in Nov and in the market now. 110k pure salary jobs are mostly VP / directors. We are talking about solid 8-10 yrs of experience + managing a team.
I do this reality check with kids at my church. (Aside from specialized training /field eg// gov't worker, doctors, engineers, programs etc).

-$35k is min/starting wage give or take. $$17.5 bucks an hr

-$45-55k ($23.5 - $29 / hr) is with a solid 3-5 yrs of experience and you might get promoted within or heck, you get lucky getting into these flashy companies. Lulu, Aritizia, Global relay, any tech company (absolute, veeam, SAP) etc.

-$55k-80k ($30-40/ hr) level is extremely hard to crack. Exp is a must (duh) and you should be bringing SOMETHING to the company's bottom line (at least indirectly). Ain't no receptionist or assistant getting $80k. Lastly, you'll need a whole lot of luck because the pool has a shit load of talent with 5+ experience over you AND at least 10+ people with better resumes (previous work brand names).

-$80k - 110 base salary ($45-55 / hr)+ commission (OTE 150+). I'm focusing on sales job. Bringing in revenue directly is a must. Most likely a hunter and experience, your brand name, resume and track record is mandatory. These jobs are out there but i have to say, landing one is a bit tough because I can assure you competition is fierce.

If not in sales, you better be a diretor / project manager with at least 3-5 unique skill sets (certificates Cisco, PMP, etc to even get up to the 80k level).

I yell at my friends who complains and offer this reality check. Median income is 55k after taxes (in BC 2019). I always respect those who are earning the 80k range as they are already considered very fortunate people in BC.

Thank you for waking everyone up

it has taken me 8-9 years in my trade/profession to get 65K this year, and i was pretty proud of it until i saw the above post were the guy said min 80k is "average"

[bcrdukes]

Info Sec is a different monster. It's a very specialized and prized skill in today's market. It won't last long, so savour it while it lasts.

[Fafine]

i dont think tiger is wrong, 50k isnt hard to attain. Just sign up at coast mountain or translink they start around 20$ an hour.

Bus drivers for translink starts at 24bucks an hour

and ofc if you studied something like mechanical engineer or electrical engineer youd make close to 70/80k right out of uni if you can get into bc hydro.

It's all about what you want to do with your life and what you studied/ spent time on.
If you were a receptionist for 4 years during university studying arts, can easily land a federal admin assistant job and make 50k a year.