Speak it Out

[Traum]

Man... I used to know / do most of these things. Now my go-to restaurants are the Crystal Mall / Lansdowne / Aberdeen food court...

Dessert / drinks after dinner? Who in the right mind would pay $7 for a frickin brown sugar bubble tea?

Gosh... I miss my 20's and 30's...

Originally Posted by 6793026

2 KEY things to keep in mind.
1) Stay relevant.
Don't be boring. You're in an arena of men OF ALL AGES (22-50s) trying to date girls that are in their late 20s. You HAVE to have game, cause you won't win on their cash or looks.

Do have 3-4 new hipster restaurant in your back pocket & good key things to chat about.
Chick said last Friday: "Wow, you had a place in mind after coffee...last time my date and I both couldn't decide where to go after ... I lost interest so quick after being hangry; you took me to 3 places I haven't been even though they are all hole in the wall places."

If you are taking girls to Cactus Club, Earls, Flying beaver.. you need help.

Men and Women are NOT competing with other people anymore, it's time and attention. If we can't keep people's attention span in check, you just lost the date. If you can't lure someone out over Netflix... you just suck.

2) Be genuine & tell stories.
Don't lie. I lay flat out I'm unemployed during COVID. If a girl is giving you "wtf" or the guy is being a douche; wtf.. you aren't working... you might as leave cause these people aren't for you. (maybe if they are one night stand)

When you talk, please be interesting. If we sit down and ask the same BORING ass "what do you do", "where do you like to travel", "why are you still single" Man, we are in 2020, you NEED new stories so they remember who you are.

PS: Nothing else matters.
It's never the car, in 2020, you're competing with dudes now with 911 / M5 / GTR....
It's never your looks / clothing... we are IG whores... we are brainwashed by filters / social media... you'll never be the best good looking guy.
It's never how rich you are... the girls you are dating are probably richer than you....

So what else do you got? Your stories, your style and your ability to keep a girl talking... but but but i treat her like a lady...

Fok that shit.... every guy is a gentleman, they all open car doors for the girl.. HECK...good guys finishes last.....

[SpeedStars]

On the topic of online dating, has anyone ever really found long-term success? I've pretty much stopped using since late 2019 /covid scare and don't find myself interested in a relationship anymore. I found to rather focus the energy to better myself.

When I used Tinder actively in 2018->2019 it was an avg of a date a month but it just felt that relationships through online dating were way too fragile or could almost never find someone who was mature enough to want to settle down as they could find another joe with a swipe. Compared to meeting someone authentically in person through mutual friends/etc I feel that relationships in those cases are more serious / cherished.

[6793026]

Well of course meeting someone in person is best; or if someone sends you a referral, that trumps all for sureeeee.

What i find stupid is when someone says "OH, i don't online date cause I want to meet someone organically (referrals) etc"
OR
"When mr right comes, I'll be ready.... "

who just meets people in person any more... everyone is hiding behind their screens AND we have a lot of introverts nowadays who never go out and meet people.

All in all, we ALL need practice... so please go out on dates / blind dates / coffee meet ups. After 10 ish dates... you'll realize why you suck or who these weird guys / girls are.

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by instantneedles

Yeah I'm personally hoping for a 2 bedroom condo (which will come with a higher down-payment), because I heard 1 bedroom isn't worth it and is often harder to resell.

It's the opposite. 1 bedroom is way easier to sell because the average single and dual-income population can reasonably buy a <$600k 1BR condo. But have an incredibly difficult time saving for a DP + Qualifying for a $600 - 750k 2BR condo.

If I wanted to cop a $700k 2BR that's like

20% Downpayment @ $140k + $112k annual income
or
40% Downpayment @ $280k + $84k annual income

However, 2BR condos have a more attractive $/Sqft because of this.

[bcrdukes]

There are a lot of first-time home buyers who are in the market for a 1 bedroom. They are often more easier to sell. Building equity for a down payment to move into a step-up is often harder, but not impossible. You'd likely have to live in a 1 bedroom for a few years, let it appreciate, sell it, and then take the equity to move into a bigger place. Unless the bank of mom and dad are available to loan you a 20% - 40% down payment interest free, it's not easy. But then again, 99% of the population on Revscene earns over $250K annually.

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by bcrdukes

Unless the bank of mom and dad are available to loan you a 20% - 40% down payment interest free, it's not easy. But then again, 99% of the population on Revscene earns over $250K annually.

Most of my friends had a solid 20 - 40% gifted downpayment on their first place. To be fair it's pretty impressive to have an income that qualifies at such a young age even if the down payment was gifted.

[bcrdukes]

Judging by Revscene standards, and the cars you own, you're in the million dollar income bracket.

Edit: My 26,000th post on Revscene.

[CivicBlues]

Damn, betcha only Dukes and I old enough in this thread to be still listin' to the B.I.G

[Gerbs]

Someone told me 5+ years ago that Dukes is a retired asian gramps that's like 50+ haha.

[SpeedStars]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

Most of my friends had a solid 20 - 40% gifted downpayment on their first place. To be fair it's pretty impressive to have an income that qualifies at such a young age even if the down payment was gifted.

Damn bro are most of your friends like secret millionaires pls teach me their ways

Most of the ppl I know our age make 40-60 and that's only if they're actually working. I know a ton that are still in school not doing much/only part time still

[TOS'd]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

Someone told me 5+ years ago that Dukes is a retired asian gramps that's like 50+ haha.

It's true, I stopped by his long-term care home last week.

[tiger_handheld]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

It's the opposite. 1 bedroom is way easier to sell because the average single and dual-income population can reasonably buy a <$600k 1BR condo. But have an incredibly difficult time saving for a DP + Qualifying for a $600 - 750k 2BR condo.

If I wanted to cop a $700k 2BR that's like

20% Downpayment @ $140k + $112k annual income
or
40% Downpayment @ $280k + $84k annual income

However, 2BR condos have a more attractive $/Sqft because of this.

Why do you want a brand new condo? Whats wrong with a 15yr old condo near Edmonds for 500k 2br? I think there is where you have to define needs vs wants. to tie it back to the current topic of relationships - like a poster said - you are competing against dudes with 911/m3/GTR/penthouse... the sooner you realize your 700k Cambie corridor or River District 2br will not matter, the faster you'll get ahead.

[yameen]

Originally Posted by tiger_handheld

Why do you want a brand new condo? Whats wrong with a 15yr old condo near Edmonds for 500k 2br? I think there is where you have to define needs vs wants. to tie it back to the current topic of relationships - like a poster said - you are competing against dudes with 911/m3/GTR/penthouse... the sooner you realize your 700k Cambie corridor or River District 2br will not matter, the faster you'll get ahead.

I'm not rich nor do I have a fancy car. I have my own place with a decent job and can spend on food and activities freely. I dont look like brad pitt but I've never had trouble with girls because I always have good chats with most of them. I feel like I shouldn't be picky but I am.

Like what most posters said, your conversations need to have substance but what separates a girl that you might have a connection with versus a girl you absolutely get entrenched in a conversation with and lose track of time will sometimes indicate how compatible you two are. Some people are intrinsically shy and might take a bit longer to warm up or break out of their shell so those are a bit trickier.

From online dating I've had two that lasted about a year each and the rest I lost interest in over time. This current one feels like someone I could marry one day. Fingers crossed!

Bonus tip that always worked well for me: walk them to their car after the date and open their car door for them (some of you might disagree but it has always been well received). Be kind and say thank you to your servers. Girls love it when you're kind towards others.

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by SpeedStars

Most of the ppl I know our age make 40-60 and that's only if they're actually working. I know a ton that are still in school not doing much/only part time still

There's definetely a difference in the median income between friends from highschool and college ($35-70k) compared to friends that moved here for work from out of province ($70 - 100k). The one's that moved here from Ontario/Alberta have significantly higher income since they got into higher level positons straight out of school. This could be for a variety of reasons. Better co-op internships, better schools, better networking skills. In addition, The out of province guys have a stronger knowledge of budgeting, saving, and investing.

Most of us are starting to reach the 3 - 5 years of professional work experience. So we should see this income gap starting to close as some of them start to job hop out of the $35 - 50k entry salary.

There are tons of friends who are working dead end jobs or working part time and just chilling. Nothing wrong with that either. But there's a gap in our values and what we want out of life so I don't usually see them as much as I used to. I find that it demotivates me.

Originally Posted by SpeedStars

Damn bro are most of your friends like secret millionaires pls teach me their ways

The one's that are doing well have a solid knowledge of personal finance, budgeting and started investing as early as they can. They avoid trading the trend and holding random penny stocks. They prefer to self manage their own ETF portfolios compared to holding the traditional 2%+MER mutual fund. I would say majority just chases the HISA / GIC accounts. They don't even invest.

Most of them started working in highschool then entry level jobs in their field or high paying tip jobs during college. In addition, they had the privledge of living at home, which allowed them to save an additional $1,000 - 1,500+ on rent expense. I felt like 90% of the people I met at school had a full-ride through their parents. Which saved them about $40k in tuition. Plus a lot of their parents would also buy them their first car for like $30 - 40k. I only had the priviledge of living at home. But the fact that I had to pay tuition / buy my first car forced me to start looking at how to budget and invest.

So if you add it up the priviledges. Most of these guys have $60 - 75k invested by year 1 - 2 of graduation since they had zero expenses. With the bull market from 2016 - 2020. Their investments grew over $100k by the time they're 25.

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by tiger_handheld

Why do you want a brand new condo? Whats wrong with a 15yr old condo near Edmonds for 500k 2br? I think there is where you have to define needs vs wants. to tie it back to the current topic of relationships - like a poster said - you are competing against dudes with 911/m3/GTR/penthouse... the sooner you realize your 700k Cambie corridor or River District 2br will not matter, the faster you'll get ahead.

I'm looking at $325k to 450k condos that are > 15 years old and needs renovation or are just renovated. I wanna take advantage of the first time home buyers LTT exemption and I also don't wanna over extend myself on a home. The majority of young people only want new homes/presales because they've grown up in nice detached homes or their parents don't want them to buy something so "old" because it'll break. But that's not the case if you research your buildings diligently. I think it's better to purchase a cheaper home and invest in other assets.

[instantneedles]

Originally Posted by yameen

I'm not rich nor do I have a fancy car. I have my own place with a decent job and can spend on food and activities freely. I dont look like brad pitt but I've never had trouble with girls because I always have good chats with most of them. I feel like I shouldn't be picky but I am.

Like what most posters said, your conversations need to have substance but what separates a girl that you might have a connection with versus a girl you absolutely get entrenched in a conversation with and lose track of time will sometimes indicate how compatible you two are. Some people are intrinsically shy and might take a bit longer to warm up or break out of their shell so those are a bit trickier.

From online dating I've had two that lasted about a year each and the rest I lost interest in over time. This current one feels like someone I could marry one day. Fingers crossed!

Bonus tip that always worked well for me: walk them to their car after the date and open their car door for them (some of you might disagree but it has always been well received). Be kind and say thank you to your servers. Girls love it when you're kind towards others.

Hope things work out! It's always motivating to hear when people are able to succeed with online dating.

One of my friends has never been in a relationship before and decided to try online dating in his late 20's. Fastforward to now and he's 1 year into his relationship.

I think online dating does work - you just have to work at it like everyone has suggested.

[TOS'd]

Where the OG SIO posters at?

[dlo]

dam 262 posts? sadboi

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by TOS'd

Where the OG SIO posters at?

I miss the PK-EK posts.

[BIC_BAWS]

I'm often complimented for my memory. I remember things that are important to me, the little things per say. Unfortunately being able to remember all the good means I can also clearly remember all the bad. I think it's been a tough week because my subconscious is digging up all the lies and all the manipulation.

Some say it's not lying if they never said anything. It's not lying if you're not privileged to that information. It's not lying, it's a manipulation. Sounds like someone who can't face the music.

Funny thing is, most people say they want honesty and transparency in their relationships. Yet, these are the same people who will hide things and manipulate. These people believe that they are being honest, even when hiding things. Interesting how that works.

[instantneedles]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Funny thing is, most people say they want honesty and transparency in their relationships. Yet, these are the same people who will hide things and manipulate. These people believe that they are being honest, even when hiding things. Interesting how that works.

I agree - my signature pretty much sums that up.

[BIC_BAWS]

What's the job market look like right now? I'm feeling super under appreciated in my day job. Maybe I'll make a switch.

I was hired as an on-site bookkeeper, but the scope creep is insane. I didn't mind because I'm getting paid, but now I mind cause the work environment is just shit. I prefer to work in an environment where I don't get bitched out for things I DIDN'T do. The mirco-management of the owners is insane. I don't even understand why they hire people if they're gonna try to do it themselves anyway.

They talk so much about wanting to scale, but fail to see that they aren't able to scale because of themselves. They complain about how everyone nowadays has no loyalty to the company, yet they're the people driving employees away.

[TOS'd]

Not sure how it is in Vancouver right now, but in Toronto myself and several friends in other fields have all switched to much more lucrative jobs since May.

[instantneedles]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

What's the job market look like right now? I'm feeling super under appreciated in my day job. Maybe I'll make a switch.

I was hired as an on-site bookkeeper, but the scope creep is insane. I didn't mind because I'm getting paid, but now I mind cause the work environment is just shit. I prefer to work in an environment where I don't get bitched out for things I DIDN'T do. The mirco-management of the owners is insane. I don't even understand why they hire people if they're gonna try to do it themselves anyway.

They talk so much about wanting to scale, but fail to see that they aren't able to scale because of themselves. They complain about how everyone nowadays has no loyalty to the company, yet they're the people driving employees away.

I think there's always a demand for bookkeepers all the time unlike certain other industries (ie. hospitality).

[Presto]

Damn. The person that cuts my hair is neck-deep in conspiracy theories. At first, it was COVID misinformation. She now believes in flat earth, as well. Of course, she doesn't wear a mask, either. I have no interest in sitting in a chair listening to her tell me 'truths'. Now, I gotta cut my own fucking hair, or see if my wife can cut it.