Speak it Out

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

That reminds me of marrying someone before you even live together.

Where's happyslip



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[Teriyaki]

Uh yea, moving in right away is a super-no when you've never actually MET.

Maybe spend a week together shacked up to feel it out. That's insane they'd even consider doing that.

[Euro7r]

Got a good buddy that asked me on engagement ring if I knew of a place to get (I don't know jack since I'm not married, he asked me since he knew I have a lot of friends married and figured I may know a thing or two lol). Any shops that offer custom rings that's reasonable in cost that you guys can shed opinion on? I don't know, like $2-5K budget? I told him to google search it but seems like they don't really tell you cost.

[6793026]

just go to spence and take the gf to choose so you get an idea on what shape & resize later.

Due to covid, gf and i are planning to get thsi done during covid; i'm leaning towards moving to a new city + buying a house + wedding.

I want to get a CZ ring as a 'travel ring' and then she can pick whatever she wants on her own as a real one. last thing is her to look at a ring i chose that she doesn't like the shape.

[Traum]

I have no clue on what prices are like now, but in theory, diamonds should have gotten cheaper since some international body has ruled that the diamond industry is no longer allowed to distinguish between synthetic diamond and "authentic" natural diamonds.

Being a brokea$$ / cheapa$$ at the time when I proposed to my wife, I did not get her a diamond ring, although I did get her a ring. Instead, after she accepted, I asked how important it was for her to have me get her a proper engagement ring (with a diamond on it). If she wanted one, we will buy one. Or, we could use the money on both the wedding and on home reno to get our apartment ready for us to move into. She took the 2nd option and she still loved the cheapa$$ ring that I bought her for the proposal.

[Traum]

Originally Posted by 6793026

I want to get a CZ ring as a 'travel ring' and then she can pick whatever she wants on her own as a real one. last thing is her to look at a ring i chose that she doesn't like the shape.

I would say that moissanite and white sapphire are fancier alternatives than CZ that present quite a bit better. But they are also more expensive than CZ.

Whatever floats your (and her) boat, you know?

[bcrdukes]

Take a look at this thread.

https://www.revscene.net/forums/6987...ng-advice.html

A lot of good advice here as I recently had gone through this process. TL;DR: I was close to pulling the triggers on Brilliant Earth but found something way less than Brilliant Earth and to exact specifications while saving over $2000 from buying online. Nevermind in store.

[Vansterdam]

for diamond rings, im guessing the peoples diamond spot at the vancouver outlet, by the airport. would be cheapest lol

even cheaper if you buy a used/buyback one from there

if anyone has a better suggestion lmk

[PK-EK]

anyone ever feel the stress and balance of life is too overwhelming?

the balance of work, family and relationship has gotten the best of me.
i really need a me day.
everyday i go in the garage and see my car in a torn up state; i get so stressed that i don't have any time for myself to work on the car.

On Friday, i told a lie to the GF and family that i had to work late. but in fact i had a small roadtrip to pick up a racecar with a friend out of town.
it was the best night i've had in a long time, felt like a kid again just doing whatever the fuck i wanted. even though we didn't get home til 3am. it was actually like a holiday for me.
is this a bad thing?

[Fafine]

Is it possible to let your gf know that you're feeling burnt out and you want to chill with the boys? That way you don't have to sneak around?

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by Fafine

Is it possible to let your gf know that you're feeling burnt out and you want to chill with the boys? That way you don't have to sneak around?

If it's Covid where your gf/family doesn't want you to go out, that's understandable you lied to get a breather. But other than that, I can't really seem how it would be healthy on the long run for you to lie, leads to communication issues down the road. Can just tell them, your tired and need to take a night off to rest?

[Hondaracer]

In regards to the ring much like dukes posted, blue Nile all the way.

Spence snd all the local places are shit and you’re paying GIA prices for non Gia-rated diamonds.

I’d rather buy a ring from Costco than Spence

[SumAznGuy]

Originally Posted by Hondaracer

In regards to the ring much like dukes posted, blue Nile all the way.

Spence snd all the local places are shit and you’re paying GIA prices for non Gia-rated diamonds.

I’d rather buy a ring from Costco than Spence

Bought my wife's ring from Blue Nile many many years ago.
Had them secretly ship the ring to our hotel in NYC so there was no taxes since the head office was in Washington at the time.

Needless to say, GF/Wife was surprised by the ring.

She wore the ring onto the plane home. Tossed away the not important stuff. Mailed myself the important documents.

[Hondaracer]

It’s 4+ Years ago since I purchased my wife’s engagement ring but blue Nile had one of the best systems/website I’d ever used and amazing customer experience all around. I felt better served with them necer actually talking to anyone than the numerous stores I physically want into locally

Got a wayyyy nicer diamond for the price as well

[PK-EK]

Originally Posted by Fafine

Is it possible to let your gf know that you're feeling burnt out and you want to chill with the boys? That way you don't have to sneak around?

Originally Posted by Euro7r

If it's Covid where your gf/family doesn't want you to go out, that's understandable you lied to get a breather. But other than that, I can't really seem how it would be healthy on the long run for you to lie, leads to communication issues down the road. Can just tell them, your tired and need to take a night off to rest?

told my GF how i felt and she totally took it the wrong way.

we haven't been talking since Sunday.

I've gotten so much work done on my car and i generally feel so much less weight off my shoulders.
I know this sounds and looks really bad. but I don't "miss her" one bit.

*please don't respond, we all know what i should do..... or at least consider at this point

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

Can just tell them, your tired and need to take a night off to rest?

Sounds like I responded too late, but I did this once, and my gf at the time took it as I didn't miss her / I don't want her anymore / I'm tired of her LOLOL

"You'd rather hang out with the boys than hang out with me" ... Yes. LOL

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Sounds like I responded too late, but I did this once, and my gf at the time took it as I didn't miss her / I don't want her anymore / I'm tired of her LOLOL

"You'd rather hang out with the boys than hang out with me" ... Yes. LOL

Sounds like those needy biatches or those that have literally zero hobbies (type that either goes to school and goes home, or goes to work and goes home, where their life is only surrounded by their 8-5 job/school).

When in a dating relationship, a person shouldn't really have to change to accommodate the lifestyle of the other person. If it's brutal now, imagine being married LOL. Guys have guy time and girls also have girl time, everyone needs their own time to do their own shit.

[instantneedles]

Totally agree with you guys.

However, I wonder if she has mutual hobbies with you (ones that you both enjoy) that you can do together? The reason is, if you're both doing something together to achieve a goal, then it gives you a purpose for spending time together.

What I hated most about this one girl I dated was that we weren't doing any activities together, and when we hang out she just ends up talking about random stuff (mostly about her own life) and it gets very boring/emotionally draining. It wasn't that I hated being around her, it was that we weren't doing anything meaningful together.

some ideas might be: going to the gym, going for a walk/biking outdoors (trails, seawall), taking an improv class together, playing video games together, board games, etc.

[6793026]

i insist on
1) alone time
2) boys time
3) joint times.

this way, you get to come back with diff perspectives which makes things much easier on each other.

[BlackV62K2]

Any of you gone to couple/marriage therapy? SO and I are looking for recommendations to help us work on our relationship.

[mikemhg]

Originally Posted by BlackV62K2

Any of you gone to couple/marriage therapy? SO and I are looking for recommendations to help us work on our relationship.

I did with my ex of 11 years, back in the day. We used Mario Testani:

Consulting for Solutions Group

He's quite good, and did help with some of our issues over the years.

Alas, there was too much water under the bridge to fix our issues entirely.

[instantneedles]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

I did with my ex of 11 years, back in the day. We used Mario Testani:

Consulting for Solutions Group

He's quite good, and did help with some of our issues over the years.

Alas, there was too much water under the bridge to fix our issues entirely.

What about the counselling did you find useful? Like what did he have you both do?

Also, are you comfortable sharing what drove you two apart?

[mikemhg]

Good questions, and no, I don't mind at all.

To be honest, a family/marriage councilor is often times simply an arbitrator -- someone who is impartial and can listen to both sides in a disagreement, and offer a non-biased solution (or one would hope). That's primarily their role, for the most part they won't reinvent the wheel for you.

I found he helped us understand each other's mindsets better, and so highlight implicit bias that we both carried in certain disagreements. He really pushed the idea of simply learning to understand how we both tick, and how we may see things differently at times, and how that's not a bad thing. We can all have our own opinions, and that's not wrong to disagree. That kind of stuff.

In terms of what drove us apart, really just time. We started dating when I was 21, at that age (and much of my 20's), I was a total gasser. I partied a lot, went out with my buddies, meeting girls all the time, hooking up and coming home late. Much of that lifestyle broke the trust, and thus there was always a seething resentment on her part, most deservedly. Over time in the relationship that lifestyle certainly changed (especially in my now 30's), but the damage was already done.

We had become akin to roommates in the last years, good friends, we'd travel together and have good times, but the passion was long gone. Though we wouldn't fight often, but when we did, it just cut differently, deeper, we both knew we had clocked out on one another. The intimacy had long declined, the spark was gone. We discussed breaking up numerous times in the last few years of the relationship. Resentment is a killer -- once trust is lost and water under the bridge accumulates, it's impossible to ever bounce back.

Near the end of the relationship I went on vacation to the Philippines with my father as a bit of a bonding thing, during the trip I had cheated again. When I returned, I fessed up and confessed to what happened, she had a feeling and had known it would happen. At that point it was over, and we ended things amicably. To this day we're still friends, and we do meet up from time to time in order to catch up.

She'll always be a friend to me, and I'll always have her back for whatever she needs, I do love and care about her still to this day. Had we met in our 30's, things would've been certainly different, we simply met at the wrong time.

It goes to show her maturity and levelheadedness that we can still be amicable, and friends to this day, as I certainly don't deserve it, I'm just glad that she's learned to forgive me.

Long winded, but that's the abbreviated story there.

[GS8]

A girl asked me out last week. I only met her briefly as she's a friend of a friend. Nowhere near my bubble. I told her I was waiting until I get some more clarity on reopening / 2nd doses etc. because I live solo and work a specialized role (if I get sick, my company's fucked). She was totally cool with all that and absolutely still wants to meet up at a later time.

Then she tells me this morning a guy asked her out and she said yes.

My innards are imploding...

Now I might be jumping the gun and there won't be any spark between them but

My innards are imploding...

[BIC_BAWS]

Just chill, she's just tryna make you jealous. But that's a fat mood, not that a girl has asked me out before, but another person in the picture.