Speak it Out

[Traum]

Originally Posted by GS8

Then she tells me this morning a guy asked her out and she said yes.

My innards are imploding...

If you rush back to her in any form now, you are just going to sabotage your chances of having any meaningful relationship with her. Trying to do anything that resembles a date now is going to give her the impression that you are desperate, and that is never a good thing.

The only thing you can do right now is to play it cool, ask her to have fun at the date, and remind her that you'd still like to meet up once the COVID situation becomes a little more clear.

The other team scored a point, but it doesn't mean you're out of the game just yet.

[GS8]

Originally Posted by Traum

If you rush back to her in any form now, you are just going to sabotage your chances of having any meaningful relationship with her. Trying to do anything that resembles a date now is going to give her the impression that you are desperate, and that is never a good thing.

The only thing you can do right now is to play it cool, ask her to have fun at the date, and remind her that you'd still like to meet up once the COVID situation becomes a little more clear.

The other team scored a point, but it doesn't mean you're out of the game just yet.

Yes, the first two things I told her was 'please stay safe' and mentioned to her the importance of why I'm still hanging back due to Covid. I can sense from her words she did understand but I think her fatigue is setting in and she just wants to move towards normalcy faster than I.

It's such an unprecedented situation for any of us singles really. Even with relaxing rules / open ups, there's still going to be people with varying approaches on how to personally 'rejoin society'. I'm a little further behind for specific reasons (though my 2nd dose will alleviate most of that). I won't ask her how her date went. I'll let her volunteer that information to me if she chooses to. I'll have to gauge the conversation carefully starting tomorrow as we have been chatting daily.

[6793026]

Originally Posted by BlackV62K2

Any of you gone to couple/marriage therapy? SO and I are looking for recommendations to help us work on our relationship.

Yup, i'm doing counselling and also doing pre-martial with my gf right now.

Really good to say the least. Great tools to use and also knowing there are things I need to work on was a good reflection to be humble.

[GS8]

Update:

She voluntarily told me her date was simple: They had tea, talked and she went home.

She also added that I'm more handsome

...

Spoiler!

[mikemhg]

I agree with BIC. She's trying to make you jealous.

But man, just go out with her, do something on a patio/outside. Take her to a brewery or something, what's the point on waiting until next dose/reopening.

It's almost summer here, that means fuck time, she doesn't want to wait for you to figure out your vaccine and such.

Your dangers outside are minimal.

[BIC_BAWS]

If there's one thing I've learned via mistakes is that women are just as horny as men. If she's tryna fuck and you deny her of such opportunity, she'll have no problem with finding someone else to scratch her itch.

That said, it's a careful balance of not giving them what they want too soon / come off as too eager and rewarding them.

You are a King, and Kings don't simp.

Sent from my SM-G781W using Tapatalk

[GS8]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

I agree with BIC. She's trying to make you jealous.

But man, just go out with her, do something on a patio/outside. Take her to a brewery or something, what's the point on waiting until next dose/reopening.

It's almost summer here, that means fuck time, she doesn't want to wait for you to figure out your vaccine and such.

Your dangers outside are minimal.

I won't lie. I haven't watched the news in weeks. I started reading articles yesterday and was amazed how well we're doing. I didn't realize our case count average. I'm hoping most of the new cases are non-vaccinated / anti-vax people.

So yeah, I'm just an idiot

Anyway, I have next week off and am going to ask her out. She'll absolutely say yes. I got a good feeling about this one based on our conversations but I'll let it all ebb and flow naturally. Wish me luck...

We're now on page 999, approaching 1000 so I figured I initiate jugular threatening levels of discussion.

Who's next?

[Traum]

Not gonna comment on whether the girl is trying to make you jealous or anything else, but I totally agree that your risks of contracting COVID if you are outdoors is very minimal, esp if you have already been vaccinated (even just partially).

So go ask her out on a date, and just do something outdoors. A meal on the patio would be fantastic.

But if you want to seal the date with a kiss at the end... then well.. at that point, that's something for you to decide at that moment LOL~

Originally Posted by mikemhg

I agree with BIC. She's trying to make you jealous.

But man, just go out with her, do something on a patio/outside. Take her to a brewery or something, what's the point on waiting until next dose/reopening.

It's almost summer here, that means fuck time, she doesn't want to wait for you to figure out your vaccine and such.

Your dangers outside are minimal.

[CivicBlues]

Gloryholes. Gloryholes are still a thing.

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

I agree with BIC. She's trying to make you jealous.

But man, just go out with her, do something on a patio/outside. Take her to a brewery or something, what's the point on waiting until next dose/reopening.

It's almost summer here, that means fuck time, she doesn't want to wait for you to figure out your vaccine and such.

Your dangers outside are minimal.

I don't know if I would recommend to go out and chill (personal opinion). Reason is that you don't know how many people this girl has seen, kissed, or fucked during this time of Covid. My friend' friend (horny mofo went to see a girl and got Covid). Yeah it sucks for the single folks, there are its risk going out to meet people to get that action.

[donk.]

Originally Posted by GS8

A girl asked me out last week.

Fuck, you must be one handsome guy



Or maybe i need to stop having resting bitch face, do you offer coaching classes O great GS8?

[Mr.Money]

question: if you text over phone "too much".. before a date.


is it possible you ran the fuck out of content to talk about in real life..

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by Mr.Money

question: if you text over phone "too much".. before a date.


is it possible you ran the fuck out of content to talk about in real life..

Yes. I like to talk a lot and this has happened to me on several occasions.

It's a careful balance of engaging text and actual conversation. Not enough texting, doesn't build enough suspense or a connection. Too much, it seems like there's no chemistry in person cause there's nothing left to talk about.

Sent from my SM-G781W using Tapatalk

[mikemhg]

Originally Posted by Mr.Money

question: if you text over phone "too much".. before a date.


is it possible you ran the fuck out of content to talk about in real life..

This entirely. Never fall into the traps of carrying essay long text conversations with a girl you're getting to know.

Sure, you can use text to get to know each other a bit, but the more deep dive stuff should be held until you're actually hanging out.

If you've already deconstructed every single vacation, interests, family shit, career crap, small talk, via text, you'll essentially blow your load for in person small talk.

Keep it brief -- spend the time getting that info in person. Once you get to know them, the small talk and day to day texts become all the more easier.

[GS8]

Well we talked a little more after she processed her 'date' with the other guy. She basically said the guy was a real gentleman but she felt no attraction to him. We talked a little more about us but nothing too long winded. Just trying to plan our meetup due to conflicting schedules.

She told me she loved my intelligence and how it showed in the way I use words. I showed her my philosophical side while not realizing she had a smaller yet similar side to her. As she spoke with me more, she started to find me attractive. When I told her I'm no Brad Pitt, she said my overall persona made me more attractive than Brad Pitt since he's 'just an actor'.

Well damn

When we started initially talking, she would ask me questions about myself but I would then bring her into the conversation so it wasn't all about me. Getting to know someone on an intimate level shouldn't be like a job interview. We then just use body language and organic dialogue to ebb and flow the conversation from one talking point to another.

This is where I agree texting too much isn't the same as naturally conveying the message through vocal projection and animated accompaniment. When you say something witty, you see them smile and then you smile (because it's infectious). Now suddenly you see what they look like when they're happy and it just adds so much depth to what could have started with a question like "what's your favourite cereal?"

You can then analyze them (like a character from Elder scrolls Oblivion) to see what they love and hate talking about. Push the boundaries and dial it back to commonality and don't be afraid to hide your true character. That's one of those 'double or nothing' gambles. Best to show them who you are sooner than later IMO. That's what I did with this girl. I didn't realize she would call me handsome and ask me out.

I lost 4 people last year (non Covid related)

I lost 3 more people so far this year (again, non Covid related)

I haven't smiled in a long long time. I can happily say that streak has ended...

[mikemhg]

Originally Posted by GS8

Well we talked a little more after she processed her 'date' with the other guy. She basically said the guy was a real gentleman but she felt no attraction to him. We talked a little more about us but nothing too long winded. Just trying to plan our meetup due to conflicting schedules.

She told me she loved my intelligence and how it showed in the way I use words. I showed her my philosophical side while not realizing she had a smaller yet similar side to her. As she spoke with me more, she started to find me attractive. When I told her I'm no Brad Pitt, she said my overall persona made me more attractive than Brad Pitt since he's 'just an actor'.

Well damn

When we started initially talking, she would ask me questions about myself but I would then bring her into the conversation so it wasn't all about me. Getting to know someone on an intimate level shouldn't be like a job interview. We then just use body language and organic dialogue to ebb and flow the conversation from one talking point to another.

This is where I agree texting too much isn't the same as naturally conveying the message through vocal projection and animated accompaniment. When you say something witty, you see them smile and then you smile (because it's infectious). Now suddenly you see what they look like when they're happy and it just adds so much depth to what could have started with a question like "what's your favourite cereal?"

You can then analyze them (like a character from Elder scrolls Oblivion) to see what they love and hate talking about. Push the boundaries and dial it back to commonality and don't be afraid to hide your true character. That's one of those 'double or nothing' gambles. Best to show them who you are sooner than later IMO. That's what I did with this girl. I didn't realize she would call me handsome and ask me out.

I lost 4 people last year (non Covid related)

I lost 3 more people so far this year (again, non Covid related)

I haven't smiled in a long long time. I can happily say that streak has ended...

My pussy is wet already.

Expecting a report back on the actual date itself here.

[AstulzerRZD]

Is it just me, or are potential partners who have strained relationships with their parents kind of an orange flag?

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by AstulzerRZD

Is it just me, or are potential partners who have strained relationships with their parents kind of an orange flag?

It really depends, every one is different. There is no right or wrong. We don't know the full story and the parental upbringing. It ultimately comes down to what your tolerance level is and if you can handle all that 'drama/noise" in a family. E.g. When I dated my ex, her mom would always say she eats too much/looks fat, which caused her to be sad and emotionally unstable. This affects the person dating her since when you are around her, she is unhappy and you are trying to be counsellor to make her unhappy. It takes so much work and effort, which drains your energy. It may sound tolerable when your young, imagine this as you get older and having to deal with this. I'm not saying her mom is wrong (it's just the way she was brought up in terms of how to communicate, say it as is without considering the emotional impact on someone).

I think all families have their issues (bad moments/good moments), no one is ever perfect.

[instantneedles]

Originally Posted by AstulzerRZD

Is it just me, or are potential partners who have strained relationships with their parents kind of an orange flag?

I think it becomes an issue if their communication style with their parents is not compatible with your communication style.

Like what Euro said, what might appear to be a strained relationship could actually just be a direct/abrasive communication style.

Take me for example - both my parents originated from the country side so we tend to have a pretty rough/hillbilly style of communication. Swearing was and is a norm for us in the household, so on the surface, it might seem like we have a strained relationship - but the reality is that that's how our people talk loool.

[Mr.Money]

Originally Posted by AstulzerRZD

Is it just me, or are potential partners who have strained relationships with their parents kind of an orange flag?

to me: Yes..


i knew this fucked up russian girl who hated her parents off the bat and i kept trying to figure out why..


she was decent looking but kept dating losers,

quite smart but "No i don't need to attend college or even a job".


than her parents straight out said to her "We Have Nothing to be Proud of"


all out of a sudden "They" were the bad people.

i never knew anyone decent looking could act like such a fucking loser underneath it all to be truthful.

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

I don't know if I would recommend to go out and chill (personal opinion). Reason is that you don't know how many people this girl has seen, kissed, or fucked during this time of Covid. My friend' friend (horny mofo went to see a girl and got Covid). Yeah it sucks for the single folks, there are its risk going out to meet people to get that action.

In recent weeks, there have been less than 140 cases a day across all of BC. Now it's less than 50 cases a day.

At some point, we all gotta risk it for the biscuit to get back into the dating game. I've started dating again in Q2 of 2021 and over a handful of the girls wanted to hook up by the first/second date. Seemed like most of them haven't hooked up since last summer. So it's time for us to do some charity work and clear them of their dryspells

[mikemhg]

Originally Posted by AstulzerRZD

Is it just me, or are potential partners who have strained relationships with their parents kind of an orange flag?

It depends, is this person simply a brat/bum, or are their parents actually toxic?

Like Euro said, everything has a story. My GF has issues with her mother similar to the issue that Euro brought up -- Filipino mother who would always pick on her and say that she was fat and ugly (she's skinny as hell ), giving her a bit of body dysmorphia. There's also some molestation issues that occurred via an uncle that was covered up/ignored by her parents. That would certainly give a cause to feel a type of way about your parents.

Not all families are healthy man, some families are genuinely toxic, just because they're your family, doesn't always mean it's of a benevolent nature.

Think you'd need to gather what the issue is before raising a flag.

I'll tell you what is a red/orange flag though. A girl or guy that has issues and falling outs with all their friends all the time. Or that girl that "only has guy friends, cause girls are bitches."

Those are the ones you need to watch out for

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

this thread finally pulled its self out of the shit hole that it was.

going from some people muttering and crying to themselves to a bit of adventure.

[Marco.911]

I think now is best possible time to get on the dating train. A lot of these woman have been locked up like nuns during COVID and now is the time to switch from covering their face to covering the choo-choo train they want to have visit their cooter.

If COVID teaches us anything, it’s that we don’t know what’s going to happen so go for it!

BONUS: So many people’s social skills are in the toilet right now so if you’re able to look at someone in the eye and not sound like you have a mouth full of marshmallows, there is a good chance of connecting with someone.

[Mr.Money]

poor social skills???.... HOW?!?!.

one of the easiest things is talking, IF anyone heard or seen anyone locking up their words they would instantly think You're retarded.

i'm around TALKING soon as my eyes open from youtube or TV.



seriously