| Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum. |
 | | 
03-28-2010, 11:43 PM
|
#251 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: internet
Posts: 818
Thanked 406 Times in 127 Posts
Failed 413 Times in 103 Posts
|
Why are black people so fast? | 
|  | |
03-29-2010, 12:07 AM
|
#252 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: vancouver
Posts: 3,711
Thanked 2,584 Times in 610 Posts
Failed 329 Times in 112 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by underscore  it's an old joke. not all jokes are flawless, especially short ones.
besides, if I see my parents 52" floating around in the middle of the night, I'm not gonna say a damn thing, even though it's light compared to a 52" CRT | thats cuz u cant see black people in the night
__________________
<3 tos'd the troll king
| |
| | |
03-29-2010, 12:12 AM
|
#253 | | misfortune cookie (V)
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: 6ix zer0 4our
Posts: 6,176
Thanked 2,716 Times in 422 Posts
Failed 146 Times in 44 Posts
|
Why are black people so black?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
__________________ *Feedback: (24-0-0) Last edited by LsquareD on 00-00-0000 at 00:00 PM | |
| | |
03-29-2010, 12:13 AM
|
#254 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: vancouver
Posts: 3,711
Thanked 2,584 Times in 610 Posts
Failed 329 Times in 112 Posts
|
^LOL so dumb its funny
+1 would read again
__________________
<3 tos'd the troll king
| |
| | |
03-29-2010, 12:16 AM
|
#255 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: internet
Posts: 818
Thanked 406 Times in 127 Posts
Failed 413 Times in 103 Posts
|
Why should you date an ethiopian woman? | |
| | |
03-29-2010, 12:31 AM
|
#256 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: RICHMOND
Posts: 1,299
Thanked 200 Times in 76 Posts
Failed 56 Times in 20 Posts
|
What do u call a boy band from haiti ??
... New kids under the block ... Posted via RS Mobile | |
| | |
03-29-2010, 01:00 AM
|
#257 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 3,189
Thanked 1,699 Times in 446 Posts
Failed 148 Times in 52 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by raygunpk ^LOL so dumb its funny
+1 would read again | on that note...
How are a grape and an elephant similar?
-----------------
What's green and smells like red paint? | |
| | |
03-29-2010, 01:05 AM
|
#258 | | The RS Freebie guru
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: East Vancouver
Posts: 22,032
Thanked 2,491 Times in 860 Posts
Failed 137 Times in 67 Posts
|
Why is Mexico so bad at sports? | |
| | |
03-29-2010, 01:07 AM
|
#259 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: RICHMOND
Posts: 1,299
Thanked 200 Times in 76 Posts
Failed 56 Times in 20 Posts
|
What's better than winning gold at the paralympics?
.. Not being retarted Posted via RS Mobile | |
| | |
03-29-2010, 01:56 AM
|
#260 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 5,541
Thanked 1,109 Times in 299 Posts
Failed 192 Times in 41 Posts
|
How did the black girl know her mother was on the rag?
Why are aspirins white?
Whats long smells and smells like rabbit shit?
Yo mama is so black she went to night school and got marked absent.
| |
| | |
03-29-2010, 11:33 PM
|
#261 | | I STILL don't get it
Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Van
Posts: 452
Thanked 930 Times in 151 Posts
Failed 303 Times in 38 Posts
|
Why do women buy watches when there’s a clock on the oven?
| |
| | |
03-30-2010, 12:10 AM
|
#262 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 6,044
Thanked 315 Times in 149 Posts
Failed 53 Times in 33 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by turb0triX Why do women buy watches when there’s a clock on the oven? | lol awesome
__________________ 1996 Honda Accord 1995 Nissan 240sx 2004 Infiniti G35 2005 Honda Jazz BuySell Feedback Quote: |
"It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good ... They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time. "
| | |
| | |
03-30-2010, 01:05 AM
|
#263 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 24,974
Thanked 11,669 Times in 4,988 Posts
Failed 316 Times in 202 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by MDMA What's better than winning gold at the paralympics?
.. Not being retarted Posted via RS Mobile | Paralympics?????
You mean, Special Olympics.
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
| |
| | |
03-30-2010, 04:17 PM
|
#264 | | WOAH! i think Vtec just kicked in!
Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,643
Thanked 1,558 Times in 302 Posts
Failed 130 Times in 23 Posts
|
Wife was helping her husband set up a password for his computer, so the husband types MYPENIS - the wife fell off her chair laughing when computer replied PASSWORD REJECTED: NOT LONG ENOUGH
| |
| | |
03-30-2010, 05:01 PM
|
#265 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: vancouver
Posts: 3,711
Thanked 2,584 Times in 610 Posts
Failed 329 Times in 112 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by woob on that note...
How are a grape and an elephant similar?
-----------------
What's green and smells like red paint? | LOL A+++
__________________
<3 tos'd the troll king
| |
| | |
03-30-2010, 05:05 PM
|
#266 | | I wish I was where I was when I wished I was here
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: West Coast
Posts: 4,931
Thanked 3,098 Times in 733 Posts
Failed 703 Times in 219 Posts
|
One day, Johnny went to a gun shop to purchase a gun.
J(ohnny):I want a pistol
S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols)
J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this,
S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose?
J: For shooting cans.
S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one.
J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one.
S: And what cans will you shoot at?
J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
--------------------------------------------------------------
A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in.
After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, "Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."
The first guy replies, "I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning."
The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with him for two more hours before heading home to give it a try.
When he got home, the house was pitch black. He sneaks upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for 20 minutes. The bed was like a swamp so he decided to wash his face.
As he walked into the bathroom, his wife was sitting on the toilet.
Seeing her he screamed, "What the hell are you doing in here?!"
"Quiet!", she exclaimed. "You'll wake my mother."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
| |
| | |
03-30-2010, 05:18 PM
|
#267 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: vancouver
Posts: 3,711
Thanked 2,584 Times in 610 Posts
Failed 329 Times in 112 Posts
|
whiteboards are remarkable
__________________
<3 tos'd the troll king
| |
| | |
03-31-2010, 12:09 PM
|
#268 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: vancouver
Posts: 3,711
Thanked 2,584 Times in 610 Posts
Failed 329 Times in 112 Posts
|
me and my friend were fighting over which is the best vowel.
I won.
__________________
<3 tos'd the troll king
| |
| | |
03-31-2010, 03:34 PM
|
#269 | | WOAH! i think Vtec just kicked in!
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,674
Thanked 8 Times in 3 Posts
Failed 1 Time in 1 Post
|
Why does jesus not play hockey?
Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards. Posted via RS Mobile | |
| | |
04-04-2010, 11:17 PM
|
#270 | | I wish I was where I was when I wished I was here
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: West Coast
Posts: 4,931
Thanked 3,098 Times in 733 Posts
Failed 703 Times in 219 Posts
|
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
--------------------------------------------
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
-----------------------------------------------------------
What did the egg say to the hot water?
Its gonna take a while for me to get hard cause I just got laid by that chick.
| |
| | |
04-06-2010, 05:15 PM
|
#271 | | "Entertainment" mod.
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 5,117
Thanked 3,432 Times in 1,051 Posts
Failed 161 Times in 60 Posts
|
What do you call a big group of brown people running in a circle?
__________________
Borokusowagen.
| |
| | |
04-07-2010, 04:46 PM
|
#272 | | Head of HR....have a seat on that couch
Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Coquitlam
Posts: 21,878
Thanked 15,606 Times in 4,325 Posts
Failed 284 Times in 130 Posts
|
MALE PHILOSOPHY
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin - they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Women inspire us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer is "What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it and 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to...
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
A man inserted a 'wife wanted' ad in the classifieds. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
__________________ feedback
Originally posted by v.b.
can we stop, my pussy hurts...
Originally posted by asian_XL
fliptuner, I am gonna grab ur dick and pee in your face, then rub shit all over my face...:lol
Originally posted by Fei-Ji
haha i can taste the cum in my mouth
Originally posted by FastAnna
when I was 13 I wanted to be a video hoe so bad RSUV #7 | |
| | |
04-11-2010, 06:30 PM
|
#273 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: vancouver
Posts: 756
Thanked 211 Times in 72 Posts
Failed 99 Times in 23 Posts
|
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, " Pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land."
Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel; this is the promised land."
Now BUSH has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land!
I was so depressed last night thinking about health care plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., that I called Lifeline, the suicide help line. Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck...
FIXED 
Last edited by distanc3; 04-11-2010 at 11:16 PM.
| |
| | |
04-11-2010, 07:09 PM
|
#274 | | Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
Join Date: May 2008 Location: .
Posts: 1,308
Thanked 334 Times in 115 Posts
Failed 103 Times in 30 Posts
|
Why do Jews have such big noses? | |
| | |
04-11-2010, 10:12 PM
|
#275 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: burnaby
Posts: 444
Thanked 32 Times in 22 Posts
Failed 93 Times in 37 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by distanc3 Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, " Pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land."
Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel; this is the promised land."
Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land!
I was so depressed last night thinking about health care plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., that I called Lifeline, the suicide help line. Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck... | wasnt that what BUSH did LOL
| |
| | | |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | |
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 06:52 PM.
|
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
