| Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum. |
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05-22-2010, 05:34 PM
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#301 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: MacLeod
Posts: 7,298
Thanked 542 Times in 289 Posts
Failed 1,639 Times in 418 Posts
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racist joke
what do you call a Mexican that jumped off a plane? | 
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05-24-2010, 07:08 PM
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#302 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: vancouver
Posts: 584
Thanked 171 Times in 59 Posts
Failed 135 Times in 50 Posts
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Thought i saw this somewhere on revscene:
Blonde:"What does idk mean?"
Brunette:"I don't know"
Blonde:"OMG the world is so confusing"
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05-25-2010, 12:26 PM
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#303 | | Everyone wants a piece of R S...
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 344
Thanked 14 Times in 7 Posts
Failed 20 Times in 5 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by LsquareD  This might be old/repost. oh well
4 Men In A Prison Cell
1 Rapist
1 Murderer
1 Psycho
1 Gay
Rapist : If there was a cat here i'd fuck it till it die.
Murderer : Once you're done with it , I'd torture it to death.
Psycho : Ooh Yeah and once it's dead , i'd fuck it till i die..
The Gay in the corner softly n slowly says :
Meeeowww.. |
LoLz 
__________________ Quote: By Valour
- Small victories... tasty like salty peanuts. Peanuts, the proper diameter of your anus. Protect it well my friends!
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05-25-2010, 01:05 PM
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#304 | | Everyone wants a piece of R S...
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 344
Thanked 14 Times in 7 Posts
Failed 20 Times in 5 Posts
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__________________ Quote: By Valour
- Small victories... tasty like salty peanuts. Peanuts, the proper diameter of your anus. Protect it well my friends!
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05-25-2010, 01:24 PM
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#305 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,216
Thanked 3,233 Times in 1,261 Posts
Failed 137 Times in 65 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by red_2 Stole this from the movie Hollow Man. Thought it was pretty funny.
So one day Superman was flying around and feeling really horny, so he was on top of building and he see's Wonder Women lying on the rooftop butt naked and her legs spread wide open!
So Superman was like "fuck man i gotta get me some of that wonder pussy" So he thought that he could just fly down and fuck her so fast that she wouldnt even know cause Superman is faster than a speeding bullet right?
So Superman then flies down and fucks the shit outta Wonder Woman in a second. Wonder woman goes "wtf was that?" then Invisable man goes "I don't know, but my asshole is killing me!" | Oh man, that is just too funny!
__________________
Do Not Put Aftershave on Your Balls. -604CEFIRO
Looks like I'm gonna have some hot sex again tonight...OOPS i got the 6 pack. that wont last me the night, I better go back and get the 24 pack! -Turbo E
kinda off topic but obama is a dilf - miss_crayon
Honest to fucking Christ the easiest way to get a married woman in the mood is clean the house and do the laundry.....I've been with the same girl almost 17 years, ask me how I know. - quasi
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05-25-2010, 08:48 PM
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#306 | | What hasn't Killed me, has made me more tolerant of RS!
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: vancouver
Posts: 140
Thanked 207 Times in 23 Posts
Failed 181 Times in 21 Posts
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so there's this couple laying in bed. the wife is laying in bed , and the husband is readin ga book
as she is trying to get some sleep, he touches her vagina, and stops, and she thought he wanted to get down
so she lays there, ready, he then touches her again, but gets back to his reading, after a couple of times shes says to him
.. are we going to fuck hunny? he says, no. what makes u think that. she says because u are touching my vagina
he says.. becus its wet and i need to flip my pageee in my book
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05-25-2010, 10:31 PM
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#307 | | YOU CANT CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: FL400
Posts: 5,865
Thanked 3,092 Times in 1,038 Posts
Failed 553 Times in 157 Posts
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dunno if it's a repost - heard it from a friend thought it was pretty funny
So Grand Theft Auto just came out, and a bunch of teenagers popped by their local EB games to buy a copy or two. Unfortunately, the sales clerk was new, and she didn't know jack about video games, let a lone a new one. When the teenagers asked the cleark for a copy of "San Andreas", she didn't know what it is, so she asked them to describe the game to see if she can identify it.
One of the teenagers replies: "Well you play as a black guy, running around with golf clubs and shit beating up hookers"
The sales clerk immediately knew what he was talking about, went into the back, and got a copy of the game...
__________________
Where the hell am I
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05-25-2010, 10:56 PM
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#308 | | resident Oil Guru
Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 7,716
Thanked 10,457 Times in 1,794 Posts
Failed 1,065 Times in 267 Posts
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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? | |
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05-26-2010, 10:35 AM
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#309 | | Everyone wants a piece of R S...
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 344
Thanked 14 Times in 7 Posts
Failed 20 Times in 5 Posts
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A boy is home with his babysitter on a stormy night when the boy says "Usually on a stormy night mommy lets me cuddle with her". The babysitter responds with "OK". They are cuddling when the boy says "Usually mommy lets me take a bath". The babysitter says "ok". The boy is in the tub when he says "Usually mommy gets in with me". The babysitter says "Really? ok". They are in the tub when the boy says "Usually my mommy lets me touch her bellybutton" The babysitter says "Really? ummmmm ok".
Then the babysitter says "Hey that wasn't my bellybutton!" The boy says "That wasn't my finger either."
__________________ Quote: By Valour
- Small victories... tasty like salty peanuts. Peanuts, the proper diameter of your anus. Protect it well my friends!
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05-26-2010, 10:40 AM
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#310 | | Everyone wants a piece of R S...
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 344
Thanked 14 Times in 7 Posts
Failed 20 Times in 5 Posts
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A man was driving home late one night and was feeling very horny. As he was passing a pumpkin patch, his mind started to wander. He thought to himself, you know a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there is no one around for miles. He pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a nice, juicy looking pumpkin, cut the appropriate size hole in it, and began to screw the pumpkin. After a while he really got into it, and didn't notice the police car pulling up.
The cop walked over and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?"
The man looked at the cop in complete horror, thought fast and said, "A pumpkin? My goodness, is it midnight already?"
__________________ Quote: By Valour
- Small victories... tasty like salty peanuts. Peanuts, the proper diameter of your anus. Protect it well my friends!
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05-26-2010, 01:02 PM
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#311 | | Ask me about how I answered the question "How fat is TOO fat?"
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,135
Thanked 4,146 Times in 1,143 Posts
Failed 1,392 Times in 247 Posts
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Whats the difference between Jam and Jelly?
You can't jelly your cock down a girl's mouth
__________________
I'm so stance my roof rack got a roof rack
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ Current
e92 335i 6MT FBO
e90 330i 6MT
Former
e46 330ci 5MT - RIP
uc1 5AT
em2 5MT
db7 5AT - RIP Quote:
Originally Posted by toyota86 the guys over at lambo vancouver said there are 60-70 pre-orders already. don't quote me though. | | |
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05-27-2010, 12:38 AM
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#312 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 12,074
Thanked 3,186 Times in 929 Posts
Failed 296 Times in 68 Posts
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racist joke
what do you call a black person with an afro?
why is there cotton on top in a tylenol bottle? | |
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05-27-2010, 01:04 AM
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#313 | | Everyone wants a piece of R S...
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 344
Thanked 14 Times in 7 Posts
Failed 20 Times in 5 Posts
| Posted via RS Mobile
*edit
wtf lol i didn't even click post reply.. iphone, you have failed me yet again..
Last edited by NinjaAceYork; 05-27-2010 at 03:24 PM.
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05-27-2010, 07:20 AM
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#314 | | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrey
Posts: 12,759
Thanked 689 Times in 376 Posts
Failed 61 Times in 38 Posts
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some of this stuff is gold
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05-27-2010, 05:48 PM
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#315 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 12,074
Thanked 3,186 Times in 929 Posts
Failed 296 Times in 68 Posts
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05-28-2010, 01:38 AM
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#316 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: MacLeod
Posts: 7,298
Thanked 542 Times in 289 Posts
Failed 1,639 Times in 418 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by JSALES | | |
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05-28-2010, 07:16 PM
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#317 | | In RS I Trust
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Mission
Posts: 20,730
Thanked 17,626 Times in 4,327 Posts
Failed 1,037 Times in 352 Posts
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how fast can a girl fuck? | |
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05-29-2010, 07:55 PM
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#318 | | I bringith the lowerballerith
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: 49°06'N121°58'W
Posts: 1,106
Thanked 1,133 Times in 309 Posts
Failed 34 Times in 18 Posts
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A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!
But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso popped out!
The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms popped out!
The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.
By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.
Swoooop! Two legs popped out.
The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.
The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."
__________________
nabs - Brianrietta are you trying to Mindbomber me? using big words to try to confuse me
jasonturbo - Threesomes: overrated - I didn't really think it was anything special, plus it was degrading, marching to the bathroom to fart all that semen out
Babykiller - And next to that, there's a little dot called a period. It's not the stuff you eat out of your sisters gash, it's a handy little tool for breaking up sentences so they don't look like nonsensical retard garbage. | |
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06-03-2010, 01:09 PM
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#319 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 24,917
Thanked 11,623 Times in 4,963 Posts
Failed 316 Times in 202 Posts
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RIP, little man....................
Now down to business................
Gary Coleman's estate was looking for the perfect coffin. Here's what they found.
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
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06-03-2010, 01:10 PM
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#320 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,216
Thanked 3,233 Times in 1,261 Posts
Failed 137 Times in 65 Posts
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^
Ouch!
(Fix your closing spoiler tag pls.)
__________________
Do Not Put Aftershave on Your Balls. -604CEFIRO
Looks like I'm gonna have some hot sex again tonight...OOPS i got the 6 pack. that wont last me the night, I better go back and get the 24 pack! -Turbo E
kinda off topic but obama is a dilf - miss_crayon
Honest to fucking Christ the easiest way to get a married woman in the mood is clean the house and do the laundry.....I've been with the same girl almost 17 years, ask me how I know. - quasi
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06-03-2010, 03:20 PM
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#321 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 24,917
Thanked 11,623 Times in 4,963 Posts
Failed 316 Times in 202 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Gumby ^
(Fix your closing spoiler tag pls.) | Yep......... spelled spoiler wrong, LOL.
Fixed it in less than two minutes....... you too fast.
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
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06-04-2010, 12:38 AM
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#322 | | :: Sells McLarens, Not tofu :okay: ::
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: vancouver
Posts: 10,755
Thanked 11,826 Times in 3,334 Posts
Failed 211 Times in 89 Posts
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too soon =x
__________________
13' Nissan DBA-R35 GT-R Black Ed - Black met. - "Sophia"
90' Honda EF Civic HB // 04' Honda Pilot Granite
- The Drinker of Many Many Coffees @ McLaren Vancouver
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06-04-2010, 02:15 AM
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#323 | | resident Oil Guru
Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 7,716
Thanked 10,457 Times in 1,794 Posts
Failed 1,065 Times in 267 Posts
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Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
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06-04-2010, 08:01 AM
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#324 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Canada
Posts: 5,647
Thanked 1,816 Times in 450 Posts
Failed 4,294,967,295 Times in 173 Posts
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lol, wtf.. didnt see that coming
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06-04-2010, 08:48 AM
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#325 | | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrey
Posts: 12,759
Thanked 689 Times in 376 Posts
Failed 61 Times in 38 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by LiquidTurbo Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three." | LMAO
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