Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum. | | |
06-04-2010, 10:42 AM
|
#326 | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: richmond
Posts: 879
Thanked 2,284 Times in 186 Posts
Failed 423 Times in 115 Posts
|
As a plane is losing power, a Pilot comes over the intercom and says:
"Sorry it had to come down to this folks, but we've already let the luggage go and the plane continues to lose speed." "I hate to have to do this, but we're going to have to start releasing some passengers."
*GASPS
Captain: "It only seems fair that we do this in alphabetical order so we'll start with the letter "A."" "Are there any Africans on the plane?"
*SILENCE
"Any Africans???"
*SILENCE
"OK, B." "Are there any Blacks on the Plane?" "Any Black people?"
Nobody responds.
"OK People, we're on C." "Are there any colored people on the plane?
Silence again, but a small child leans over to his mom and says: "Momma, aren't we African American, Black, and Colored?"
His mom turns to him and says: "TODAY honey, we are Niggers, let them Mexicans go first!"
So the little black kid turns to the Mexican kid sitting next to him and laughs... But the Mexican kid just laughs back and says: "I'm a Wetback, get ready to jump Nigger!"
__________________
spaghetti cakes
|
| | This post thanked by: | boss604, hotjoint, Jegz, MG1, NinjaAceYork, ra604, rsx, slammer111, spades, van19, woob, xmisstrinh |
06-04-2010, 10:56 AM
|
#327 | Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Richmond
Posts: 1,337
Thanked 298 Times in 53 Posts
Failed 178 Times in 41 Posts
|
There was a blonde who was taking her kids to Disney Land. When they were about half way there, the blonde saw a sign that said "Disney Land Left," so the blonde turned back around and went home.
__________________
"i'm a nobody , nobody's perfect , therefore im perfect."
"stupidity is not a handicap, park elsewere"
|
| |
06-04-2010, 11:09 AM
|
#328 | Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Richmond
Posts: 1,337
Thanked 298 Times in 53 Posts
Failed 178 Times in 41 Posts
|
There were these three women who escaped from prison. A blonde and two brunets. So to get away from the cops they hid in an abandoned farm house. In the farm house there were three burlap sacks sitting around. So they hid in them. When the cops came to the farm house the one of the cops saw the sacks, the officers yells, "There's just three burlap sacks in here!" To which his partner replies, "Then kick them just to be sure it's not them hiding". The officer goes and kicks the one with the brunet in it and she yells, "MEEEYYOWW!" the officer said "Oh, its just a stupid cat in there." So he kicks the one with the other brunet in it and she yells, "RUUFFF RUFFF!", so the officer says, "Oh, it's just a stupid dog!" Then he kicks the sack with the blonde in it and she yells, "POTATOES!"
__________________
"i'm a nobody , nobody's perfect , therefore im perfect."
"stupidity is not a handicap, park elsewere"
|
| |
06-07-2010, 08:43 PM
|
#329 | In RS I Trust
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Mission
Posts: 20,730
Thanked 17,626 Times in 4,327 Posts
Failed 1,037 Times in 352 Posts
| A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street, when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him 'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
The cop looked the bike over and handed
the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, 'Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put
a reflector light on the back of it!'
The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'
The little girl looked up at the cop and said: 'Next year tell Santa;
The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top'!!! |
| |
06-08-2010, 12:38 PM
|
#330 | 14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Canada
Posts: 661
Thanked 452 Times in 55 Posts
Failed 19 Times in 5 Posts
|
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them: “In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.” For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.” Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.
When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.”
|
| | This post thanked by: | ak6, akalic, avinayyar, boss604, ds226, freakshow, hotjoint, insomniac, Jegz, Kim Jong Un, Leopold Stotch, LexiSauce, mb_, MG1, NinjaAceYork, ShadowBun, typ. |
06-08-2010, 08:11 PM
|
#331 | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 2,629
Thanked 273 Times in 90 Posts
Failed 62 Times in 32 Posts
|
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip." The woman below responded,
"You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
|
| | This post thanked by: | avinayyar, distanc3, Graeme S, illicitstylz, kookoobird88, LexiSauce, MG1, MWR34, NinjaAceYork, Noir, spades, woob, xmisstrinh |
06-08-2010, 10:49 PM
|
#332 | I don't get it
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Surrey
Posts: 403
Thanked 65 Times in 19 Posts
Failed 21 Times in 5 Posts
|
wow never knew Rs was so emotional when it came to racist jokes
Last edited by yamahar6; 06-09-2010 at 02:20 PM.
|
| |
06-09-2010, 06:07 PM
|
#333 | In RS I Trust
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Mission
Posts: 20,730
Thanked 17,626 Times in 4,327 Posts
Failed 1,037 Times in 352 Posts
|
Posted in NWS but man this is a good one!!
reason why condoms come in boxes of 3, 6, AND 12
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.”
“Oh, I see,” replied the boy pensively. “I’ve heard of that in health class at school.” He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?”
The dad replies, “Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”
“Cool” says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, “Then, who are these for?”
“Those are for college men,” the dad answers. “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.”
“WOW!” exclaimed the boy, “Then, who uses THESE?” he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March……. “
__________________
|
| |
06-09-2010, 06:27 PM
|
#334 | RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,858
Thanked 2,420 Times in 669 Posts
Failed 530 Times in 136 Posts
|
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
__________________ 2014 Honda Civic Si |
| |
06-09-2010, 07:17 PM
|
#335 | 14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Canada
Posts: 661
Thanked 452 Times in 55 Posts
Failed 19 Times in 5 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by yamahar6 wow never knew Rs was so emotional when it came to racist jokes | We're not emotional about racist jokes, its just that your joke sucked and has probably been posted 2 or 3 times already.
|
| |
06-09-2010, 07:35 PM
|
#336 | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 24,917
Thanked 11,623 Times in 4,963 Posts
Failed 316 Times in 202 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizter We're not emotional about racist jokes, its just that your joke sucked and has probably been posted 2 or 3 times already. | Damn......... I missed it. That bad, huh?
__________________ Quote:
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote:
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
|
| |
06-09-2010, 08:21 PM
|
#337 | I wish I was where I was when I wished I was here
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: West Coast
Posts: 4,931
Thanked 3,098 Times in 733 Posts
Failed 703 Times in 219 Posts
|
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours.
- Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour.
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:
- Gorgonzola!
- Wait, it is not on yet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Three guys had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.
In the morning, the guy on the right said "I had this great dream last night, that a girl gave me a handjob"
The guy on the left replied "That's weird so did I"
Finally, the guy in the middle said "Lucky for you guys...I only dream't I was skiing"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
There was this lady and she really wanted to have sex, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a jipsy and told her her problem.
The jipsy rummaged around in a chest and pulled out a pickle jar with a penis in it, and said "All you have to do is open the jar and say 'Pickle penis my vagina' and it will start having sex with you".
So later she tries out the pickle penis and it works great. That is until her husband walks in and he shouts "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" and the woman says "It's a pickled penis"
Unfortunately her husband replied "PICKLE PENIS MY ASS"
-------------------------------------------------------
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....And she's always sound asleep."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty!
Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?
---------------------------------------------------------------
|
| |
06-09-2010, 09:06 PM
|
#338 | MoD
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: a rainy city
Posts: 3,486
Thanked 1,805 Times in 227 Posts
Failed 124 Times in 20 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by hchang As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty!
Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?
--------------------------------------------------------------- | i knew the ending was going to be something retarded like that
but i was thinking that it was doctor giving a man a prostate check
|
| |
06-09-2010, 10:34 PM
|
#339 | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,216
Thanked 3,233 Times in 1,261 Posts
Failed 137 Times in 65 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by 89blkcivic Damn......... I missed it. That bad, huh? | It was basically:
Q. What's faster than a black guy stealing your TV?
A. His brother stealing your VCR.
Quite the letdown.
__________________ Do Not Put Aftershave on Your Balls. -604CEFIRO Looks like I'm gonna have some hot sex again tonight...OOPS i got the 6 pack. that wont last me the night, I better go back and get the 24 pack! -Turbo E kinda off topic but obama is a dilf - miss_crayon Honest to fucking Christ the easiest way to get a married woman in the mood is clean the house and do the laundry.....I've been with the same girl almost 17 years, ask me how I know. - quasi |
| |
06-09-2010, 10:40 PM
|
#340 | Need my Daily Fix of RS
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Richmond
Posts: 260
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Failed 12 Times in 4 Posts
|
when im sad i cut myself
........another slice of cake!
|
| |
06-10-2010, 10:47 AM
|
#341 | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Canada
Posts: 5,647
Thanked 1,816 Times in 450 Posts
Failed 4,294,967,295 Times in 173 Posts
|
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when
they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same
ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." The female whale agreed, so they tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore! The male whale was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the female, "Quick! Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they get to the shore!" At this point, he realized the female whale was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
|
| |
06-10-2010, 10:51 AM
|
#342 | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Canada
Posts: 5,647
Thanked 1,816 Times in 450 Posts
Failed 4,294,967,295 Times in 173 Posts
|
A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000."
The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"
The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'"
The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000."
The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"
He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'"
The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're just living with a couple of whores."
|
| |
06-10-2010, 10:58 AM
|
#343 | Rider
Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Surrey
Posts: 3,269
Thanked 2,081 Times in 532 Posts
Failed 439 Times in 100 Posts
|
Little Johnny went to school one day and was sitting in class when the
teacher asked, "Who can use the word contagious in a sentence?"
So little Johnny's arm shot up and he wanted to answer the question
really badly but the teacher, unsure of the response, asked little Maggie.
Little Maggie quickly stood up and said "My sister has a cold and it's
contagious" to which the teacher responded "Good answer!"
Then the teacher asked again "Can anyone use the word contagious in a
sentence?" Again little Johnny's arm shot up and again the teacher
overlooked Johnny and opted for another student, Mark.
Mark quickly stood up and said "If you have the measles you are
contagious" "Very good!" was the response from the teacher.
So the teacher feeling bad for overlooking little Johnny said "Go ahead
little Johnny if you can use the word contagious in a sentence we would
all like to hear it."
So little Johnny stood up and said "Well me and my dad were out on the
porch one day and my mom was mowing the lawn. After 5 minutes of mowing
the lawn my mom came and sat down and had a beer, and my dad said "Go mow
the lawn!" So my mom she went and mowed the lawn. After another 5
minutes of mowing the lawn my mom came back and sat down and had another
beer, so my dad said "Go mow the lawn!" So my mom she went to mow the
lawn again. My dad turned to me and said "Son it's going to take that
cunt ages to mow the lawn!"
|
| |
06-10-2010, 11:55 AM
|
#344 | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Canada
Posts: 5,647
Thanked 1,816 Times in 450 Posts
Failed 4,294,967,295 Times in 173 Posts
|
^what ? i dont really get it
|
| |
06-10-2010, 12:06 PM
|
#345 | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 2,230
Thanked 611 Times in 223 Posts
Failed 28 Times in 10 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by gdoh Little Johnny went to school one day and was sitting in class when the
teacher asked, "Who can use the word contagious in a sentence?"
So little Johnny's arm shot up and he wanted to answer the question
really badly but the teacher, unsure of the response, asked little Maggie.
Little Maggie quickly stood up and said "My sister has a cold and it's contagious" to which the teacher responded "Good answer!"
Then the teacher asked again "Can anyone use the word contagious in a
sentence?" Again little Johnny's arm shot up and again the teacher
overlooked Johnny and opted for another student, Mark.
Mark quickly stood up and said "If you have the measles you are contagious" "Very good!" was the response from the teacher.
So the teacher feeling bad for overlooking little Johnny said "Go ahead
little Johnny if you can use the word contagious in a sentence we would
all like to hear it."
So little Johnny stood up and said "Well me and my dad were out on the
porch one day and my mom was mowing the lawn. After 5 minutes of mowing
the lawn my mom came and sat down and had a beer, and my dad said "Go mow
the lawn!" So my mom she went and mowed the lawn. After another 5
minutes of mowing the lawn my mom came back and sat down and had another
beer, so my dad said "Go mow the lawn!" So my mom she went to mow the
lawn again. My dad turned to me and said "Son it's going to take that cunt ages to mow the lawn!" | There
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Valour It may seem like peanuts to you, but you know what else is the size of a peanut? your anus. and when somebody wants to fuck u up your anus, I shall fight.
Unlike some who shall present and loudly proclaim "Have at it master!" | |
| |
06-10-2010, 03:22 PM
|
#346 | RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: vancouver
Posts: 988
Thanked 428 Times in 95 Posts
Failed 206 Times in 45 Posts
|
Not really a joke... :
Teacher: So y = r cubed over 3. And if you determine the rate of change in this curve correctly, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
The class laughs except for Bart who appears confused.
Teacher: Don't you get it, Bart? Derivative dy = 3 r squared dr over 3, or r squared dr, or r dr r
__________________
Give them nothing, but take from them... EVERYTHING!!! - King Leonides
7seven: I really can't stand all these idiots who hit the gym now just because they watched 300 and want to be like a spartan. Case in point, this skinny guy comes into the gym the other day, must have only weighed ~ 140lbs, loads on 2 plates on the bench rack, mutters to himself, for sparta, unracks the barbell and proceeds to drop it directly on his chest.
|
| |
06-10-2010, 08:41 PM
|
#347 | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Mid-levels, HK
Posts: 913
Thanked 1,336 Times in 198 Posts
Failed 1,266 Times in 145 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Valour Not really a joke... :
Teacher: So y = r cubed over 3. And if you determine the rate of change in this curve correctly, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
The class laughs except for Bart who appears confused.
Teacher: Don't you get it, Bart? Derivative dy = 3 r squared dr over 3, or r squared dr, or r dr r | the fuck?
y(r) = (r^3)(1/3)
dy/dr = r^2
404 funny not found
|
| |
06-11-2010, 02:01 AM
|
#348 | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 24,917
Thanked 11,623 Times in 4,963 Posts
Failed 316 Times in 202 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by vsvs 404 funny not found | r dr r
__________________ Quote:
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote:
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
|
| |
06-11-2010, 08:49 AM
|
#349 | RS.net PIMP
Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver/LA
Posts: 4,898
Thanked 3,057 Times in 824 Posts
Failed 18 Times in 17 Posts
| |
| |
06-16-2010, 10:48 AM
|
#350 | Better safe than Surrey
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Main St.
Posts: 1,503
Thanked 911 Times in 235 Posts
Failed 65 Times in 24 Posts
|
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.
“Are you the manager?” she asks, softly stroking his face. With both hands.
“Actually, no” he replies.
“Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him.” she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
“I’m afraid I can’t” breathes the barman – clearly aroused. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Yes there is. I need you to give him a message” she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
“Tell him” she says “that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.”
|
| | | |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts HTML code is Off | | | All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:32 AM. |