| Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum. |
 | | 
03-22-2014, 11:05 PM
|
#676 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,865
Thanked 7,763 Times in 2,315 Posts
Failed 409 Times in 181 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by rsx  I thought it would end with ...well that'd mean I was a Vancouver Canuck =( | Don't know wether to thank or fail. So enjoy one of both.
| 
|  | |
04-13-2014, 10:22 AM
|
#677 | This title intentionally left blank MOD
Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Above Sea Level
Posts: 8,549
Thanked 484 Times in 211 Posts
Failed 76 Times in 14 Posts
|
The Germans train two super spies during WWII. They send them to London to gather intelligence from the enemy.
When the spies arrive, they go into a bar and ask the bartender for two martinis.
The bartender asks, "Dry?"
"NICHT DREI, ZWEI!"
__________________
Classifieds Head Moderator
Automotive Service Technician
I don't have an anger problem. I have an idiot problem. | |
| | |
04-13-2014, 10:37 AM
|
#678 | | ninja edits your posts without your knowledge
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 14,997
Thanked 6,370 Times in 1,795 Posts
Failed 114 Times in 70 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Alatar The Germans train two super spies during WWII. They send them to London to gather intelligence from the enemy.
When the spies arrive, they go into a bar and ask the bartender for two martinis.
The bartender asks, "Dry?"
"NICHT DREI, ZWEI!" | This joke requires some context/background.
| |
| | |
04-13-2014, 10:49 AM
|
#679 | This title intentionally left blank MOD
Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Above Sea Level
Posts: 8,549
Thanked 484 Times in 211 Posts
Failed 76 Times in 14 Posts
|
Or some understanding of German and being able to count two three.
__________________
Classifieds Head Moderator
Automotive Service Technician
I don't have an anger problem. I have an idiot problem. | |
| | |
04-13-2014, 10:57 AM
|
#680 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Homecouver
Posts: 209
Thanked 181 Times in 76 Posts
Failed 3 Times in 1 Post
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Alatar The Germans train two super spies during WWII. They send them to London to gather intelligence from the enemy.
When the spies arrive, they go into a bar and ask the bartender for two martinis.
The bartender asks, "Dry?"
"NICHT DREI, ZWEI!" | Sehr lustig! Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant? The food is great, but an hour later, you're hungry for power.
| |
| | |
04-13-2014, 12:32 PM
|
#681 | | I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 1,518
Thanked 1,536 Times in 427 Posts
Failed 170 Times in 59 Posts
|
still don't get it.
| |
| | |
04-13-2014, 02:53 PM
|
#682 | | Head Moderator
Join Date: Dec 1982 Location: Great White Nor
Posts: 22,661
Thanked 6,462 Times in 2,081 Posts
Failed 98 Times in 51 Posts
| | |
| | |
04-13-2014, 04:17 PM
|
#683 | | Old School RS
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Port Moody
Posts: 4,599
Thanked 4,045 Times in 1,233 Posts
Failed 129 Times in 79 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Alatar The Germans train two super spies during WWII. They send them to London to gather intelligence from the enemy.
When the spies arrive, they go into a bar and ask the bartender for two martinis.
The bartender asks, "Dry?"
"NICHT DREI, ZWEI!" | DREI = 3 in German...
ZWEI = 2 in German...
"The Bartender asks, "Dry?"
"Not THREE, TWO!"
__________________
I'm old now - boring street cars and sweet race cars. | |
| | |
04-13-2014, 04:18 PM
|
#684 | This title intentionally left blank MOD
Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Above Sea Level
Posts: 8,549
Thanked 484 Times in 211 Posts
Failed 76 Times in 14 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by lowside67 DREI = 3 in German...
ZWEI = 2 in German...
"The Bartender asks, "Dry?"
"Not THREE, TWO!" | Explaining the joke just simplifies it too much. 
__________________
Classifieds Head Moderator
Automotive Service Technician
I don't have an anger problem. I have an idiot problem. | |
| | |
04-16-2014, 03:54 PM
|
#685 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: vancouver
Posts: 2,447
Thanked 1,759 Times in 545 Posts
Failed 1,107 Times in 281 Posts
|
Why does a midget laugh when he runs? Because the grass tickles his balls lmfao
Posted via RS Mobile | |
| | | This post thanked by: | AzNightmare, Bahhbeehhaaaa, Cillu, E.D.C.5, elwell, Fafine, hchang, luibei, MG1, MSREE, ts14 | |
05-29-2014, 01:02 PM
|
#686 | | Head of HR....have a seat on that couch
Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Coquitlam
Posts: 21,878
Thanked 15,606 Times in 4,325 Posts
Failed 284 Times in 130 Posts
|
So, I was tickling my little brother's feet when mum wakes up and starts giving me a right earful. Something about "Waiting until he's born".
__________________ feedback
Originally posted by v.b.
can we stop, my pussy hurts...
Originally posted by asian_XL
fliptuner, I am gonna grab ur dick and pee in your face, then rub shit all over my face...:lol
Originally posted by Fei-Ji
haha i can taste the cum in my mouth
Originally posted by FastAnna
when I was 13 I wanted to be a video hoe so bad RSUV #7 | |
| | |
05-30-2014, 04:35 AM
|
#687 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: vancouver
Posts: 2,447
Thanked 1,759 Times in 545 Posts
Failed 1,107 Times in 281 Posts
|
When is a right time to kick a midget in the balls? When he's standing next to your girl and say that her hair smells nice hahaha
| |
| | |
05-30-2014, 04:54 AM
|
#688 | | Everyone wants a piece of R S...
Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Somewhere
Posts: 360
Thanked 654 Times in 148 Posts
Failed 52 Times in 17 Posts
|
Not sure if repost but love this one.
A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre
spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across
another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor
and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I have to
warn you though, there will be alot of drinking at this party. The city
slicker said no problem. There will also be sex going on. No problem he
responded. Well, There will probably be some fighting too. I think I can
handle myself, claimed the new neighbor. As he rode off, he turned and
asked the party host. "By the way, what should I wear at the party" The
man, responded "Oh, it don't matter, It's only going to be me and you!"
I use this quite often when I invite someone over to my place.
| |
| | |
08-25-2014, 04:54 PM
|
#689 | | RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Revscene
Posts: 9,635
Thanked 7,688 Times in 2,580 Posts
Failed 434 Times in 126 Posts
|
I was naked in my hotel room the other day when the maid came in... Finally.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by skyxx Sonick is a genius. I won't go into detail what's so great about his post. But it's damn good! | 2010 Toyota Rav4 Limited V6 - Wifey's Daily Driver
2009 BMW 128i - Daily Driver
2007 Toyota Rav4 Sport V6 - Sold
1999 Mazda Miata - Sold
2003 Mazda Protege5 - Sold
1987 BMW 325is - Sold
1990 Mazda Miata - Sold 100% Buy and Sell Feedback | 
| | |
08-25-2014, 07:36 PM
|
#690 | | I wish I was where I was when I wished I was here
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: West Coast
Posts: 4,931
Thanked 3,098 Times in 733 Posts
Failed 703 Times in 219 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by sonick I was naked in my hotel room the other day when the maid came in... Finally. | Go on....
| |
| | |
10-07-2014, 10:31 AM
|
#691 | | In RS I Trust
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Mission
Posts: 20,738
Thanked 17,635 Times in 4,330 Posts
Failed 1,037 Times in 352 Posts
|  Quote:
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the
middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he
turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.
He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in
deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they
became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home
with her date. After being informed of the problem, their
daughter's date said he could get the peanut out..
The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to
shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.
The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young
man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said,
'That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be
when he grows older?'
The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law
| | |
| | |
10-09-2014, 05:39 PM
|
#692 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Victoria
Posts: 770
Thanked 1,245 Times in 274 Posts
Failed 95 Times in 32 Posts
| | |
| | |
10-17-2014, 12:46 PM
|
#693 | | I wish I was where I was when I wished I was here
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: West Coast
Posts: 4,931
Thanked 3,098 Times in 733 Posts
Failed 703 Times in 219 Posts
|
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"
Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
--------------------------
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
| |
| | |
10-30-2014, 10:57 PM
|
#694 | | Everyone wants a piece of R S...
Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Above&Beyond
Posts: 357
Thanked 1,127 Times in 134 Posts
Failed 270 Times in 37 Posts
|
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on it.
One day she mentioned her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a way to make your car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "as long as I can sell the car."
"Okay," said the brunette. "Here's the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the odometer in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell."
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.
About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car? "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."
| |
| | |
11-10-2014, 03:11 PM
|
#695 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Victoria
Posts: 770
Thanked 1,245 Times in 274 Posts
Failed 95 Times in 32 Posts
| | |
| | |
11-10-2014, 04:48 PM
|
#696 | | In RS I Trust
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Mission
Posts: 20,738
Thanked 17,635 Times in 4,330 Posts
Failed 1,037 Times in 352 Posts
| | |
| | |
11-17-2014, 03:42 PM
|
#697 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Victoria
Posts: 770
Thanked 1,245 Times in 274 Posts
Failed 95 Times in 32 Posts
|
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere…
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow?
I hear it’s making headlines.
Last edited by Godzira; 11-17-2014 at 04:03 PM.
| |
| | |
12-17-2014, 10:54 AM
|
#698 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Victoria
Posts: 770
Thanked 1,245 Times in 274 Posts
Failed 95 Times in 32 Posts
|
meh, 
__________________ instagram Godzira Build Quote:
Originally Posted by SkunkWorks I believe cars are meant to be driven. I see zero point in having a beautiful car and never driving it. Might as well have Miranda Kerr in your bed and sleeping on the ground cause you don't want to fudge her mascara...
We go through our entire lives being told what to do every step of the way. The garage was always the one place where you could indulge in your own passion, with not a care for the outside world. | | |
| | |
12-17-2014, 02:13 PM
|
#699 | | Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: work
Posts: 1,451
Thanked 963 Times in 337 Posts
Failed 1,004 Times in 194 Posts
|
Are racist jokes allowed?
HOw does a black girl know she's pregnant??
Pulls out her tampon and the cotton has been picked off.
| |
| | |
01-05-2015, 05:12 PM
|
#700 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Victoria
Posts: 770
Thanked 1,245 Times in 274 Posts
Failed 95 Times in 32 Posts
|
__________________ instagram Godzira Build Quote:
Originally Posted by SkunkWorks I believe cars are meant to be driven. I see zero point in having a beautiful car and never driving it. Might as well have Miranda Kerr in your bed and sleeping on the ground cause you don't want to fudge her mascara...
We go through our entire lives being told what to do every step of the way. The garage was always the one place where you could indulge in your own passion, with not a care for the outside world. | | |
| | | |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | |
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:16 PM.
|
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
