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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.

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Old 05-11-2009, 08:39 PM   #51
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Good thread. It reminds me of www.notalwaysright.com

http://notalwaysright.com/hopefully-...-the-house/768
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Old 05-11-2009, 09:04 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by RX_Renesis View Post
it beats saying "large coffee, 2 cream, no sugar"
This is probably me. As someone who doesn't drink coffee, but always ends up having to buy coffee for others, I have no idea what your guys' gibberish coffee language means.

As for my work, there's a million stories, although none make much sense or are very funny unless you know what's happening.

But a lot of it goes:

"I demand that you do _________ in ______ time for ________ dollars"

Well, in order to do _______, I need 5 times the money and time allotted, and also I'll have to break a few of the "unbreakable rules" that you specified in our contract. Also several rules of nature/physics.
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Old 05-11-2009, 09:20 PM   #53
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I used to work as a cashier at a grocery store. Lady wanted to pay with debit, so I ran it through and passed her the keypad so she could enter her PIN. Instead she put it to the side of her head and started talking to it...
"I'd like to wire that from my Swiss Account please.

Yeah, I'll hold"
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Old 05-11-2009, 09:55 PM   #54
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I was in Circuit City once ....
Gotta love the informed consumer.
reminds me of oen time I was at best buy to buy a new sim card

I asked a service rep where they stock the sim cards, and hes like : "what cards?" I told him I needed a sim card for fido, and he told me they only sell phones with sim cards in them but not the sim cards alone

I told him I was almost certain they had sim cards and he was like nope sorry we don't

so I asked another guy right beside him and he told me where to find them

fucking retard
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Old 05-11-2009, 10:52 PM   #55
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reminds me of oen time I was at best buy to buy a new sim card

I asked a service rep where they stock the sim cards, and hes like : "what cards?" I told him I needed a sim card for fido, and he told me they only sell phones with sim cards in them but not the sim cards alone

I told him I was almost certain they had sim cards and he was like nope sorry we don't

so I asked another guy right beside him and he told me where to find them

fucking retard
Difference in this case was, it was the shopper that was the retard - did all his "research" on the internet but still had no idea what he was asking for... so of course the lowly minimum-wage salesdroid had no idea what the guy was talking about.
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Old 05-11-2009, 11:08 PM   #56
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Owww, that's gotta hurt!

I like this one: http://notalwaysright.com/fonts-gone-wild/255
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Old 05-12-2009, 12:41 AM   #57
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Old 05-12-2009, 04:14 PM   #58
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Since when do you have to list the names of all of the people staying in the suite?
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Old 05-12-2009, 05:49 PM   #59
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Upon closer inspection...

Somehow, the car was still driveable. Don't ask me how.
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Old 05-12-2009, 05:53 PM   #60
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Upon closer inspection...

Somehow, the car was still driveable. Don't ask me how.
how is that still driveable? :O
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:40 PM   #61
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Old 05-12-2009, 07:34 PM   #62
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when i was in school i worked at a gas station and i noticed the register started flashing that all of the pumps were out of order. i look outside and noticed that a car that was a boat was on top of one of the pumps. the car ran over a gas pump and the entire thing was on its side

the lady comes in and said she parked her car and her kid (looked like it was 2 years old) went into the driver's seat, turned the car on b/c she left her keys in the car, and put it in neutral. i figured she was blaming her infant child for her forgetting to put the car in park. the owner of the gas station wasn't too thrilled getting the phone call from me explaining some lady's car ran over a gas pump and put them all out of order
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Old 05-12-2009, 08:41 PM   #63
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few days ago i went with my GF to wall mart so she can buy a bike and after she chose the bike she wanted i asked 2 people helping her where are the screw drivers and they said they do not carry screw drivers..
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Old 05-12-2009, 11:48 PM   #64
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Today, a guy purchases some stuff using his credit card. The credit card slip was gonna print so I gave him a pen first in order to sign it after (while waiting for the slip to finish printing). He then said "thanks, I have enough pens at home... thanks for the kind gesture though..." Didn't know how to reply him. lol
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Old 05-13-2009, 01:44 AM   #65
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Today, a guy purchases some stuff using his credit card. The credit card slip was gonna print so I gave him a pen first in order to sign it after (while waiting for the slip to finish printing). He then said "thanks, I have enough pens at home... thanks for the kind gesture though..." Didn't know how to reply him. lol
lol...well at least he was super polite and appreciative when you offered the pen
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Old 05-13-2009, 02:12 AM   #66
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Back in the day I worked at McD's and an EI ordered a Double Big Mac, no meat.

True story.
I've got one up on that. I had an order for a plain cheeseburger, no meat, no cheese.

I gave him the top and bottom of the bun wrapped in paper.
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Old 05-13-2009, 05:44 AM   #67
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Today, a guy purchases some stuff using his credit card. The credit card slip was gonna print so I gave him a pen first in order to sign it after (while waiting for the slip to finish printing). He then said "thanks, I have enough pens at home... thanks for the kind gesture though..." Didn't know how to reply him. lol
Too bad it wasn't one of those pens that's chained down
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Old 05-13-2009, 09:01 AM   #68
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Similar, but less retarded/public:

A guy would come into the Petro Can I worked the night shift at (back in Courtenay, not here), make a b-line to the bathroom, and stay in there for at least half an hour. I always wondered what he was doing so one day after he came in and made a b-line for the john I walked toward the back of the store and listened to the door.

In retrospect this was kind of fucking retarded because, come on, what if the guy just had intestinal problems. Or like to in semi-public bathrooms.

I heard him take the tank off of the back of the toilet, some clicking, then a noisy grotesque SNOOOOORRRRRT.

It turned my stomach. I started pounding on the door and told him to GTFO b/c the police were on their way. He ran out the back door only to return a few hours later to beg forgiveness.
wat a buzz kill
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Old 05-13-2009, 09:38 AM   #69
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these are pretty good

but a while ago I was in La Ven en Rose (sp) with my gf she went to try on some stuff so I was waiting by the change rooms. This girl (not my gf) came out and asked how it looks on her, I looked up and was like stunned. she was HOT in some sort of lingerie thing...

sadly she looked around couldn't find someone and went back in to change, turns out she was looking for her friend which was somewhere in the shop.
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Old 05-13-2009, 10:47 AM   #70
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I've heard some amazing ones from Starbucks baristas, but the best had to be the guy that ordered a "cappuccino, no foam". "You mean a latte, then..." "No, I want a cappuccino, but without foam."
Cappuccino has less milk in the espresso than a latte. Cappuccino with no foam is not a Latte.
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Old 05-13-2009, 11:02 AM   #71
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I hear lots of stupid stories when working at BC Ferries like....

Some American thought that the terminal attendants drove the cars on to the ferries for them while they walked on....

People who ask if the ferry is going to Victoria after they have driven onto the ferry...
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Old 05-13-2009, 11:03 AM   #72
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I had a guy not know how to use a credit card, as in when I gave him a slip to sign he just stared at me and asked what to do.
I had a blond woman that said she had to run to the bank machine to pay for her purchase at the store i was working at. When I asked her what she was going to use at the ATM she replied...my bank card.

After 20 minutes of explanations she learned how the interac system worked and paid at the store with her bank card.

Her smile was priceless.
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Old 05-13-2009, 12:11 PM   #73
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I hear lots of stupid stories when working at BC Ferries like....

Some American thought that the terminal attendants drove the cars on to the ferries for them while they walked on....

People who ask if the ferry is going to Victoria after they have driven onto the ferry...
Lots of good ones here:
http://www.bcferries.com/schedules/U..._but_True.html
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Old 05-13-2009, 12:54 PM   #74
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.... and then?
I told her that operating instructions were printed on the box, and that she could read it in the privacy of her home.
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Old 05-13-2009, 01:36 PM   #75
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I've got one up on that. I had an order for a plain cheeseburger, no meat, no cheese.

I gave him the top and bottom of the bun wrapped in paper.
lol did u charge him the full price of a cheese burger?
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