The El Bastardo guide to Ireland

[El Bastardo]

A friend of mine asked for some advice on visiting Ireland because she knows I lived there in 08 for a while. After I finished writing the longest Facebook message ever I decided it would do well in this forum as well.


Dublin

Dublin is a city of bridges. When I was there I made it my mission to walk across each one of them. I couldn't tell you if I managed to complete that feat because I think they built about six of them. The city is divided by the river Liffey into a North and South half. The North half is a mainly commercial area which eventually gives itself to suburban sprawl and the South half is where you see most of the touristy stuff and you go to party. It also demonstrates functional urban living in a series of neighborhoods that would put Vancouver's west end to shame.

You can hit up all the typical places like the Guinness Brewery (if you want. I found it a little disappointing) and the Jamieson bottling plant. If you like James Joyce there'll be plenty of places to see where he tread and Trinity College is open to tourists almost year round. The statue of Molly Malone, St. Stephen's Green, and the Spire (essentially the world's biggest ice pick) are all within 15 minutes walking distance of each other.

At night you have to go to the Temple Bar district. Its the party part of town. Sure it can be a little touristy but its safe and its fun. Definitely a party spot. Theres a bar called Eamon Dorans that may not look terrific but its a great party spot. Also, if you can get in, the bar called 'Temple Bar' is usually a great place too. Don't go to Planet Hollywood or any of the bland and drab fare you can get back home. Also, The Boar's Head is Ireland's oldest pub clocking in at 900+ years old.


If you want to get a good feel for Dublin hop on the 'Luas' which is essentially a street-level version of the Skytrain. Its not a streetcar, but its not elevated. It'll give you a tour of the areas surrounding Dublin including the north/west route which will take you to Ireland's version of Surrey called 'Tallaght' (my "Irish Home Town") or south/east to Sandyford, a suburb of Dun Laoghaire (Pronounced Done Leerey) which is essentially White Rock.




South Ireland

No trip to Ireland is complete without a trip to Cork. Cork is a three hour drive from Dublin (about the same by train) and is notable for it's picturesque waterfront setting, being home to Blarney Castle, and having a population that speaks a mix of English and Murloc.

On the way from Dublin you should pass through a town called Kilkenny which is the source of the famous beer. Its not really noteworthy but if you're taking a 'beer tour' stop here a while.

Wexford is a town notable for it's ferry into France. This makes it pretty touristy. You wouldn't be missing much if you skipped it though.

To the far west through a few small towns you'll end up in Dingle Bay which is a huge source of seafood. I didn't make it out here but I hear it's pretty good if you want your food fresh.


West Ireland.


Limerick is your un-official gateway into West Ireland. Yes this town is where the poem comes from. Its a cute town, has a lot of history, and if you can read Angela's Ashes (or watch the movie) before you go you'll get a good sense of where everything takes place here. It has a fair amount of touristy spots with some museums and some old castley-fort things. Its worth a look.

Keep in mind: you don't want to get into trouble here. Don't mouth off to anyone. Limerick is nicknamed 'Stab City' for a reason. If you Google the words "Stab City" Limerick will show up in the first few results. Prison rules apply in Limerick so, like in prison, watch your back and mind your manners.

If you depart Limerick in the morning you'll reach the Cliffs of Moher by noon. They're to the south west of Galway and are well worth the very scenic drive. Sure the roads are (very, VERY) narrow and it can get confusing but its worth it. This is going to be hard to explain but if you get to the Cliffs of Moher go right instead of left. Like, if you're walking from the parking lot toward the tourist compound, don't immediately head to the left. It may look pretty over there but the real beauty comes from what you'll see on the North side of the cliffs.

Galway should be about an hour and a half north of the Cliffs of Moher and is worth staying overnight in. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about this place. I was there a couple of times, partied there, got drunk there, drove drunk there. Wouldn't change those memories for the world. Theres a museum at Spanish Arch which is free or by donation or something and the general population of the city is 25 and under which means its a great party town. If you can stay the night. If you want to, stay the weekend. You won't be disappointed.




North Ireland

North Ireland is an entirely different country than Ireland. Its part of the United Kingdom which means your money instantly goes from costing you 1.50 CAD to 2 CAD per1 pound. Its also a very tense country so never discuss religion or the Queen.

Some of the places you can hit up are Derry (U2's song "Sunday Bloody Sunday" is based on what happened in this city), Belfast (smaller than you'd think but its still pretty decent) and Giant's Causeway near Bushmills (very north-ish tip of Ireland).

You won't know you're in a different country at first. I literally went through a round-a-bout and then all the signs changed colour and it went from KPH to MPH.

[El Bastardo]

If I have any spelling/continuity errors let me know and I'll edit the original posting.

[saucywoman]

good post how are the prices there?

[El Bastardo]

Beer and liquor are awesomely cheap. For those of you on my MSN who were treated to my 'Beerathon' updates you'll know that I drank far too much for too little. I took the world tour of breweries right from the comfort of my living room.

Grocery stores can be expensive if you're not careful. Just like here you can have the expensive (Capers, Save On, Safeway) and the cheap (Superstore, Extra Foods). A store like Dunnes can have some quality products but expect to pay for them. Tesco is your best bet. I was in there so much cashiers knew me as "That American guy" (Yeah... I know )

Clothing isn't worth it, unless you're looking for gifts or you absolutely need it. You'll pay as much as you do here ($25-30 for a decent quality top) but remember you're paying 1.5 or 1.7 of what we pay with the exchange.

Gas is pretty expensive. Fortunately most cars are fuel efficient and your trips aren't very far anyhow.

Don't go to fast food restaurants. Not only are they a rip off ($8 for a Burger King meal) but you can get much better food at a pub or restaurant for roughly the same price. Try real Irish stew or Sheppard's Pie. It'll put we have here to shame.


Your creature comforts can get pricey but you shouldn't be afraid to treat yourself.
Remember, you're on vacation and you're there to treat yourself.

[Rated B]

Cool thanks for the writeup. I'm possibly going to Ireland this summer.