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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.

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Old 10-05-2009, 07:14 AM   #1
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Why I fired my Secretary.

I dont care if its repost or not, i just want to post it !!!!!!!

bring it on ..repost police, i didnt even bother use the search button





Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me.'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,





' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....

On the couch...

Naked.
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Old 10-05-2009, 07:31 AM   #2
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say wat
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Old 10-05-2009, 07:31 AM   #3
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You and that tryhard r32coupe shoudl get a room and repost each other to orgasm.
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Old 10-05-2009, 07:32 AM   #4
RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
 
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old...many variations..but i still laughed.
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Old 10-05-2009, 08:40 AM   #5
I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
 
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good read
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Old 10-05-2009, 08:43 AM   #6
RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
 
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Could've guessed.
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Old 10-05-2009, 09:17 AM   #7
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still good
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Old 10-05-2009, 10:09 AM   #8
HELP ME PLS!!!
 
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lol i can just picture it in my head!
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Old 10-05-2009, 10:13 AM   #9
I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
 
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repost, but awesome bawahah
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Old 10-05-2009, 10:30 AM   #10
d1
I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
 
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repost, not awesome.
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Old 10-05-2009, 10:50 AM   #11
RS controls my life!
 
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^ lolol op doesn't care...!!

but that's hilarious!!! haha. but the ending is pretty clear.
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Old 10-05-2009, 10:50 AM   #12
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should have kept those condoms in the car...
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Old 10-05-2009, 11:40 AM   #13
My homepage has been set to RS
 
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^ bahahha
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Old 10-05-2009, 11:49 AM   #14
Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
 
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haha...kind of predictable.. good read though
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Old 10-05-2009, 01:17 PM   #15
Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
 
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i thought he woulda have followed her in the room
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Old 10-05-2009, 01:26 PM   #16
I STILL don't get it
 
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always funny reading that... never gets old.
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Old 10-05-2009, 01:41 PM   #17
Rs has made me the woman i am today!
 
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haha never gets old
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Old 10-05-2009, 02:24 PM   #18
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
 
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of a
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Old 10-05-2009, 02:27 PM   #19
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Quote:
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You and that tryhard r32coupe shoudl get a room and repost each other to orgasm.
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Old 10-05-2009, 02:53 PM   #20
F**K YOUR HEAD
 
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nice story
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Old 10-05-2009, 02:55 PM   #21
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say wat
Say "what"! Say it!
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Old 10-05-2009, 02:58 PM   #22
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always love a good joke even if its old
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Old 10-05-2009, 03:15 PM   #23
look at these diamonds, they shining
 
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You and that tryhard r32coupe shoudl get a room and repost each other to orgasm.
bahahahah
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Old 10-05-2009, 03:53 PM   #24
ESKETIT
 
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cool story bro
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Old 10-05-2009, 05:50 PM   #25
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Say "what"! Say it!
say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
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haha i can taste the cum in my mouth
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