| Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum. |
 | 
11-19-2009, 10:19 AM
|
#1 | | RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,858
Thanked 2,420 Times in 669 Posts
Failed 530 Times in 136 Posts
| I Love This Doctor
I Love This Doctor  Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain... GOOD! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTEN!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO ... Cocoa bean! Vegetable!!! Cocoa bean best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:
1. The Japanese eat very little fat And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION..... Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
__________________
2014 Honda Civic Si | 
|  | | This post thanked by: | 16.4, acrophobia, AzNightmare, boatcaptain, Ch28, Culture_Vulture, danizer, hb2, Hi_Im_Mike, hk20000, ilvtofu, Inaii, kdx2009, kwistol, Liquid_o2, MG1, monkeywrench, PiuYi, Psykopathik, roastpuff, tiger_handheld, tofu1413, TommyT, tonyvu, TOS'd, TruboChrager, xPhuong | |
11-19-2009, 11:07 AM
|
#2 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Van.
Posts: 2,929
Thanked 1,967 Times in 290 Posts
Failed 536 Times in 92 Posts
|
good read for the morning haha 
__________________
RIP JN
UNCE UNCE UNCE! Quote:
Originally Posted by strykn  Comparing A&B with deadmau5? Really? I should fucking slap you | 2007 Acura TL 2005 Acura TL....RIP 2003 Honda Accord Coupe V6....RIP | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 11:11 AM
|
#3 | | My name is Michael. J. Caboose, and I hate BABIES!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: MoI
Posts: 6,576
Thanked 1,421 Times in 678 Posts
Failed 71 Times in 51 Posts
|
hahaha that's awesome!
__________________
"Can you match my resolve? If so then you will succeed. I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavour to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve." -- Monty Oum Quote:
Originally Posted by STATUS105 IF I FIND YOU
I WILL EAT YOUR RICE! | | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 11:14 AM
|
#4 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: 604
Posts: 202
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Failed 4 Times in 3 Posts
|
lol!!! that was a good read  | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 11:31 AM
|
#5 | | WOAH! i think Vtec just kicked in!
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,649
Thanked 308 Times in 53 Posts
Failed 72 Times in 10 Posts
|
wow lol! Very good read... Posted via RS Mobile | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 11:36 AM
|
#6 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: vancouver
Posts: 5,988
Thanked 1,380 Times in 479 Posts
Failed 51 Times in 26 Posts
|
Good read Posted via RS Mobile | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 12:07 PM
|
#7 | | JDMEK9Mod | DogWhisperer
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Richmond
Posts: 14,737
Thanked 5,649 Times in 1,772 Posts
Failed 102 Times in 62 Posts
|
hahaha omg what retarded answers
| |
| | |
11-19-2009, 12:19 PM
|
#8 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 6,044
Thanked 315 Times in 149 Posts
Failed 53 Times in 33 Posts
|
Was i the only one who read the answers in a Chinese accent?
__________________ 1996 Honda Accord 1995 Nissan 240sx 2004 Infiniti G35 2005 Honda Jazz BuySell Feedback Quote: |
"It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good ... They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time. "
| | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 12:25 PM
|
#9 | | Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: richmond
Posts: 1,381
Thanked 1,958 Times in 287 Posts
Failed 630 Times in 86 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Leopold Stotch Was i the only one who read the answers in a Chinese accent? | i fink so
| |
| | |
11-19-2009, 01:11 PM
|
#10 | | Unofficial Tin Foil Hat Specialist.
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,150
Thanked 1,529 Times in 604 Posts
Failed 326 Times in 125 Posts
|
"Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale. "  | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 01:47 PM
|
#11 | | :inoutugh:
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: ඞ
Posts: 9,987
Thanked 5,851 Times in 1,843 Posts
Failed 970 Times in 279 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by shenmecar
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.
|  | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 02:21 PM
|
#12 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: ur sistrs pants
Posts: 2,656
Thanked 606 Times in 105 Posts
Failed 342 Times in 57 Posts
|
im convinced | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 04:14 PM
|
#13 | | F**K YOUR HEAD
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: vancouver
Posts: 8,718
Thanked 8,153 Times in 1,251 Posts
Failed 643 Times in 181 Posts
|
LOL i told my friends the speaking english one before i saw this, must share this on fb | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 04:20 PM
|
#14 | | The RS Freebie guru
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: East Vancouver
Posts: 22,032
Thanked 2,491 Times in 860 Posts
Failed 137 Times in 67 Posts
|
Solid, irrefutable arguments.
| |
| | |
11-19-2009, 09:15 PM
|
#15 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
Join Date: May 2007 Location: New West
Posts: 3,161
Thanked 1,341 Times in 557 Posts
Failed 206 Times in 108 Posts
|
^ bahahahhaah +1
| |
| | |
11-19-2009, 09:32 PM
|
#16 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 24,978
Thanked 11,674 Times in 4,990 Posts
Failed 316 Times in 202 Posts
|
Hee hee............ that's how I live. I have friends who excercise and really watch their health. Most, if not all, have had heart problems. Honestly. WTF? I used to think. Now it all makes sense. No stress is the best thing.
I love to nap......... it's awesome.
Laughter and humour
watching porn
lot's of lying on couch watching others sweat
= longevity.
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
| |
| | |
11-19-2009, 10:12 PM
|
#17 | | is best wrench
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 2,485
Thanked 1,208 Times in 272 Posts
Failed 190 Times in 33 Posts
| | |
| | |
11-19-2009, 10:47 PM
|
#18 | | My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,788
Thanked 33 Times in 17 Posts
Failed 5 Times in 2 Posts
|
i like the whale one
| |
| | |
11-20-2009, 03:02 AM
|
#19 | | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Richmond
Posts: 4,457
Thanked 2,259 Times in 439 Posts
Failed 595 Times in 124 Posts
|
this can't be real is it?
but if it were. i'd believe it came from an asian!
his logic is sound though.
| |
| | |
11-20-2009, 09:15 AM
|
#20 | | Banned (ABWS)?
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 19,305
Thanked 4,054 Times in 1,731 Posts
Failed 434 Times in 211 Posts
|
haha I really like the first one.
| |
| | |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | |
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:22 PM.
|
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
