I really couldn't sum it up better than Badhobz has, so I would encourage you to read his reply again another 3x bcos there is just so much wisdom and truth in there that you want to soak up on.
From the outside, I can see a couple of potential options that I think you can consider. They are not recommendations -- just potential options that I think are worthwhile to consider.
Housing situation
With your brother's plans to move down to the States, I see an opportunity that you can consider -- with one less person in the house, you may no longer require as much space as you do. So if prices for your detached has risen enough, there might be an opportunity for you (and your parents) to move back into a smaller and more affordable place. If such a move can free up some cash flow for you, I think it would be a big help to your situation. Or as another potential options, one of your current woes is the amount of time you are losing to your commute, and the soul-sucking nature of the commute. If you can move back into a place that is closer to the city, cutting down your commute time could potentially be a god-send for your mental health in more ways than one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS  Well life insurance wouldn't pay out on suicide.. but if it's fine if I died today. At least my parents won't have to worry about the mortgage, my policies will pay it off. I'll die without having experienced "true love" (or have had a lot of sex) but I know my friends love me, so that's good enough. Can't win em all. |
To me, this is a red flag. You need to be mindful of this because most normal people -- esp not at your age -- won't consider the implications and consequences of what might happen if you die. In particular, you used the "suicide" word, so that makes the red flag stand out even more.
I am not saying you have suicidal thoughts. But for most people, even a serious contemplation of suicide suggests things are not going alright. You want to be mindful of where your stress levels are at, and try making changes that can relieve some of those stress on a permanent basis. (But temporary stress relief are just as important too.)
The Grind Quote:
Yeah this isn't what my life looks like. I have a 45-1.5 hr commute daily, it's fucking awful, and lowkey making me a racist.
It's work. Go home. Smoke a bunch of weed to put up with the bullshit at work and what I call "life". End up in a deeper hole. Watch some porn to help me fall asleep (yes porn addiction is real and probably causing some of my probs too). Go to sleep. Repeat.
I have zero interest in dating (or pussy) bc I haven't been great to be around - I'm miserable.
|
Your daily routine here is so similar to mine almost 20 years ago. At one point, I would be working and travelling between Surrey, Coquitlam, and DT Vancouver all in the same day, and it was absolutely brutal. And it is almost exactly as you have described -- Go to work. Go to a different work place. Go to yet another different work place. Go home. Get back on the computer to do more work. Fit meals somewhere between all those times -- I was eating a LOT of Subway during those few years. Sleep for anywhere between 4 - 6 hours. I always tried to give myself an hour or two of free Internet surfing / mindless video gaming time on Fridays because I knew I needed the break, but even then I would feel guilty bcos I knew I was running so behind on work.
Rinse and repeat for a year because that's how long my contract was with one of the companies I was working for. It was soul sucking at first, and soul destroying after the first few months, and things just kept on getting worse. I was always tired even though I was still in my mid/late 20's. When the company didn't renew my contract at the end of the 12 month term, I was actually glad that I was able to get out of that hell loop.
And of course, it goes without saying that I had no interest in anything other than food and sleep during that period. I was tired. And miserable. When the contract ended, I vowed to myself that I'd never put myself through that sort of hell ever again.
Car Life
I know you don't have any real interest in parting with your FK8 atm. Potentially, you want to know that there could be a lot of upsides to trading that out in exchange for something cheaper to help with the financial situation. As AstulzerRZD has said, the FK8 is on a pretty good depreciation curve, so you don't stand to lose much even if you sell.
For me, I grew up driving slow cars. Even now, my pos Mz2 is as slow as it can be. Perhaps because of that, even though I love acceleration, I am OK if the car is not fast. Pulling lateral g's have always been more fun to me, and my old cars reflect that -- Miata, ES1 Civic, Mz2. And these cars have always been ultra reliable, so my operating costs have generally been low.
But I know my cars have been slow. Cheap, fast, reliable. Pick 2. I left the fast out, and I consciously chose that.
I know you enjoy your track days. I do too, and I would never dissuade you from attending them. That said, this is what I have done to keep my track day costs as low as I can.
Shortly after I got hooked, I volunteered to help with VCMC's track day program. I was a general helper / photographer at first, and later helped to run the program for a few years. It was mostly only running at Mission, but I did get some free track time as a result of that. Also, the only track days I paid to attend were the winter ones at Pacific Raceway at the time. They were significantly cheaper than the normal summer track days, and there were fewer cars and more seat time than the normal summer ones as well. I was probably doing that for 3 years before my schedule wouldn't allow for that anymore.
Times and the landscape are certainly a little different now, but I know Ridge winter track days are still a thing. (And maybe also Pacific Raceway too.) So potentially, that might be something you can consider.
And when the car is slow, all your consumables last longer too LOL~.
Money Quote:
Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS Exactly. I make 60K lol. And honestly who the fuck am i gonna date with $90 in my acct lol |
I have been piss poor and/or cash strapped most of my life. Even now, my cash flow is very poor, but not having $$$ have never completely gotten in the way of my dating life. It is nice to take a girl out where you have to spend a bit of money, and being able to spend would certain make a lot of things easier, but there are also lots of free / cheap things you can do to have a nice date. And most important of all, the girl(s) that you want to meaningfully spend time with won't care about how wealthy you are.
Also, I 1000% agree with what Badhobz is saying here:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Badhobz You being this miserable is also affecting your pussy game. You losing interest in the chase because you’re stressed. Once you fix that big powder keg problem then your disposition will
Improve and the pussy will cum-ith. |
On the work front, an example to consider is Dark. I'm not saying you should quit your job now and go into car sales. At the same time, I don't think you should feel trapped or obligated to stay with your current job. Look around in the job market. Are there other positions elsewhere that offers a better pay? Are there public sector jobs that offers a similar (or maybe even slightly lower) pay, but would likely be less stressful and/or have lower time demands than your current job?
More often than not, we are creatures of habit, and we may get complacent. So if you don't make any attempts to change, the situation is unlikely to change.
Again, good luck. And don't stress yourself out.
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