Quarter-life crisis

[dinosaur]

Honestly, it just helped barfing it all on this thread. I have never really verbalized (or typed) those thoughts before...

[Ri2]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

I HATE HATE HATE talking about it with people as I feel like I come off as some whiny bitch who is acting selfish and needs to realize there are bigger issues in the world. I saw a shrink for 2 years during that time and felt immense guilt for taking up someone's time....and time away from anther patient who could have really used it. It DID help me understand some shit, but I mostly stopped because I did not want to feel like a whiny bitch anymore.

I get so tired of the pressure....I don't work hard enough, I don't work long enough, I didn't make the right decision, I'm not caring enough, I don't see my family enough, my house isn't clean enough, I don't have enough goals, I don't have any children, I am not married, I don't own a big house, my career isn't good enough, I don't see my friends enough....I never feel like I have accomplished "enough". I "should" be doing more....this is a big thing to me...I "should all over myself". Even now....I should be doing something else than typing out whiny sentences while feeling sorry for myself.

I think though that's a barrier that we face all the time, the fact that our problems aren't as big as other people's problems. While there is valid point to that, I also like to believe that everyone's problems are individualized for their own learning experience. Saying that, we shouldn't look at our problem and someone else's and go "theirs is bigger and more important than mine, so I'll just keep it under wraps."
If it wasn't really important, you wouldn't be feeling it. The shame that comes with that doesn't let us feel our emotions/hardships the way we are supposed to, inhibiting life lessons and emotional range, etc. Our version of down and out will always be different than someone else's version, we just can't control that. However, we can acknowledge our personalized version and help ourselves to work through it.
It's just a matter of controlling it within reason. I'm not saying that if people who are well off/have resources available to them and feel down should start adopting unhealthy coping habits like people who have no other options.

I just think it's just our responsibility to ourselves to not invalidate our feelings because it's harder to let it go in the future and make our peace with it if for years, we train our minds to think that there is no peace to be had in the first place. We have to be realistic. Any change that we want to evoke externally will always come within us first. If we dismiss our problems but try to help others, we won't be doing much because we wouldn't be able to give ourselves fully to the situation.

Damn Dino, I love you and you are so accomplished to me

[rsx]

One of the tougher situations for Asians is having the pressure come from the Family. I used to work for a non-profit org and we were actually doing good work for the community. I visited my dad and when he introduced me to his friends and talked about what I've been up to... I can only see disappointment when he mumbled something about me working for a charity. I've never felt so put down in my entire life. I subsequently quit my job and tried to prove my dad wrong and it's been hell.

Do a good job, pursue happiness that's self-imposed, not societal or pressures from everyone else. Especially chicks. Fuck 'em. I hang out with a bunch of Asian girls and these are the keywords they use for I want a guy with loads of money: "ambitious, career-driven, long-term goal oriented" be weary.

[bcrdukes]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

Honestly, it just helped barfing it all on this thread. I have never really verbalized (or typed) those thoughts before...

I just want to give you a hug (at the Stock and n00bie Meet.)

[TRDood]

I just turned 26. Things that I noticed:

- Can't study as well anymore
- Getting fat
- Brain dead after a day of work
- Can't fuck around at work compared to school
- Other priorities where I can't buy a manual sports car
- Seeing parents/grand parent age
- People around me starting to get married/have kids
- JB is starting to look too young

[dinosaur]

Originally Posted by bcrdukes

I just want to give you a hug (at the Stock and n00bie Meet.)

can i touch your butt while we hug??

[Meowjin]

Originally Posted by rsx

One of the tougher situations for Asians is having the pressure come from the Family. I used to work for a non-profit org and we were actually doing good work for the community. I visited my dad and when he introduced me to his friends and talked about what I've been up to... I can only see disappointment when he mumbled something about me working for a charity. I've never felt so put down in my entire life. I subsequently quit my job and tried to prove my dad wrong and it's been hell.

Do a good job, pursue happiness that's self-imposed, not societal or pressures from everyone else. Especially chicks. Fuck 'em. I hang out with a bunch of Asian girls and these are the keywords they use for I want a guy with loads of money: "ambitious, career-driven, long-term goal oriented" be weary.

I don't think it's also asians. I think its anyone who has a high achieving (older) family member

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by rsx

One of the tougher situations for Asians is having the pressure come from the Family. I used to work for a non-profit org and we were actually doing good work for the community. I visited my dad and when he introduced me to his friends and talked about what I've been up to... I can only see disappointment when he mumbled something about me working for a charity. I've never felt so put down in my entire life. I subsequently quit my job and tried to prove my dad wrong and it's been hell.

Do a good job, pursue happiness that's self-imposed, not societal or pressures from everyone else. Especially chicks. Fuck 'em. I hang out with a bunch of Asian girls and these are the keywords they use for I want a guy with loads of money: "ambitious, career-driven, long-term goal oriented" be weary.

In North America, I think the path to success is the pursuit of your passions. If you think about the typical Asian path to success, it consists of the following:
- study hard
- become a professional - something to do with money, or medicine
- get married, have kids, and own a detached home
- take care of parents in their retirement
- rinse and repeat with the next generation

The problem with this path is that it produces people who are risk-averse, souless, and uninteresting. It's the reason why there are countless Asian men who are single in their 30s. It's the reason why Asians aren't successful in politics or in entertainment. It's the reason why you hardly see Asians rise above middle-management in corporate Canada.

Unless you plan to move to Asia, I think you really need to pursue your passions and put aside whatever your family thinks. And moreover, I would recommend that Asian guys in their 20s forget about what the typical Asian woman in her 20s wants and date other women.

Growing up, I was never quite cool enough to fit in with the popular crowd and I was a little too smart for my own good. I tried to change my core personality in order to make myself more attractive to women (of the typical Asian variety) and to other people in my 20s, but it didn't work. Now that I'm 30, I'm beginning to realize that you need to be true to yourself and your core values.

[PJ]

Originally Posted by TRDood

I just turned 26. Things that I noticed:

- Can't study as well anymore - try a change of environment? studying at the library or a coffeeshop. gives you the "I already spent half an hour getting here.. might as well make use of it" mindset

- Getting fat - Lots of daily workout routines out there that are less than 1 hr a day. How much time do you spend on the computer/watching tv? Take just 1 hour out everyday.

- Brain dead after a day of work: - Set a schedule and stick to it, so you have something to do after work and not just go home and pass out.

- Can't fuck around at work compared to school - Guess that's a given..

- Other priorities where I can't buy a manual sports car - SUV? Bike? Luxury sedan?

- Seeing parents/grand parent age - Inevitable

- People around me starting to get married/have kids - Live by your own standards, not others

- JB is starting to look too young - I know that feel bro.

[dachinesedude]

jacked from another thread, but its pretty relevant for here

25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s « Thought Catalog

[juude90]

Sorry to bring up a dead thread, but I just want to say thank you to all of you who have posted in this thread. You guys have definitely made an impact on my mind and how to view my life. I sincerely wish to someday achieve my dream (still haven't quite figured it out yet) and show my appreciation to all of you. Don't worry, I'm good at stalking people.

[neggo]

Originally Posted by neggo

I finally decided to commit and take steps towards leaving my comfort zone, along with a home and a family I've been with my entire life. I sent in an application to Japan to teach English last week and heard back from the company today, with them inviting me to an interview next month. I was happy, but my parents were less than thrilled.

I understand that they are worried about their youngest going to a country that had a devastating natural disaster not so long ago, but I feel as though, at my age, this is an opportune chance to develop as an individual independently. This is something I can't do when I'm older and settled in with a career. If I settle, I'm afraid I'd fall into the void of "what ifs".

My parents are pissed, but what can I do?

This thread has been inactive for awhile but I thought I'd provide an update.

I was hired and I will be leaving for Japan in less than a month to teach. I picked up my visa yesterday and finalized my flight and all that's left is to wait for everything to sink in.

I am a mixed bag of excitement and nervousness.

[PJ]

Originally Posted by neggo

This thread has been inactive for awhile but I thought I'd provide an update.

I was hired and I will be leaving for Japan in less than a month to teach. I picked up my visa yesterday and finalized my flight and all that's left is to wait for everything to sink in.

I am a mixed bag of excitement and nervousness.

Congrats brother!

Whatever happens, I guarantee you won't regret it, looking back.

After all, you're only gonna remember the things you DID do, not the things you didn't.

[Mr.Money]

Originally Posted by neggo

This thread has been inactive for awhile but I thought I'd provide an update.

I was hired and I will be leaving for Japan in less than a month to teach. I picked up my visa yesterday and finalized my flight and all that's left is to wait for everything to sink in.

I am a mixed bag of excitement and nervousness.

Learn some Japanese!!....either then that..its smooth sailing in japan,most of the train ticket machines have English setting on them,just the remote ones in the middle of nowhere is jdm language only
don't forget,you can drink in public

& its funny your old fashioned parents said you might die in a earth quake....Bwhaha....WTF?...Srsly?..srs??..

[Jer3]

Originally Posted by neggo

This thread has been inactive for awhile but I thought I'd provide an update.

I was hired and I will be leaving for Japan in less than a month to teach. I picked up my visa yesterday and finalized my flight and all that's left is to wait for everything to sink in.

I am a mixed bag of excitement and nervousness.

good luck. just curious what company u joined up with? interac, aeon, berlitz, GABA? or were u one of the lucky ones that got accepted into JET

[Durrann]

Originally Posted by TRDood

I just turned 26. Things that I noticed:

- Can't study as well anymore
- Getting fat
- Brain dead after a day of work
- Can't fuck around at work compared to school
- Other priorities where I can't buy a manual sports car
- Seeing parents/grand parent age
- People around me starting to get married/have kids
- JB is starting to look too young

I have same point of views as you shit lol

[PJ]

Just turned down a couple 6-figure job offers yesterday and today to stay on track for my bigger goals..

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by PJ

Just turned down a couple 6-figure job offers yesterday and today to stay on track for my bigger goals..

thats tough to turn down. what field of work are u in?

[Not really racist!]

Originally Posted by PJ

Just turned down a couple 6-figure job offers yesterday and today to stay on track for my bigger goals..

man.. i hope you're making the right choices

if i was ur parent i would beat u with a stick.. LOL

[PJ]

I'm in engineering

And that's exactly why I didn't tell my parents

I figure if I got 2 offers now, and I completely fail with all my goals, it couldn't be THAT hard to still find a decent job a few years down the road.
But what I have going on with my projects are somewhat age and time-sensitive.

Jobs will always be around, but certain opportunities only arise ever so often.

I'm not hurting for money either.. I don't make 6 figures now, but I'm comfortable. I have my realistic "dream" car, a roof over my head, and the freedom to do whatever the hell I want. So turning down these job offers were completely rational.. at least in my perspective.

[BaoTurbo]

Weren't you in recording business? But engineering major....LOL

[Not really racist!]

PJ = not a single fk was given

[PJ]

Originally Posted by BaoTurbo

Weren't you in recording business? But engineering major....LOL

Yup I work with a record label on the side, that's one of the "side projects" I have going on that might blow up in the near future haha

[neggo]

Originally Posted by Mr.Money

Learn some Japanese!!....either then that..its smooth sailing in japan,most of the train ticket machines have English setting on them,just the remote ones in the middle of nowhere is jdm language only
don't forget,you can drink in public

& its funny your old fashioned parents said you might die in a earth quake....Bwhaha....WTF?...Srsly?..srs??..

Parents just don't understand, hahaha.

Oh, I actually know how to speak Japanese, haha. I think that may have been one of the major reasons they hired me.

I should brush up on my kanji though since that was such a bitch to learn.

[neggo]

Originally Posted by Jer3

good luck. just curious what company u joined up with? interac, aeon, berlitz, GABA? or were u one of the lucky ones that got accepted into JET

I opted not to apply for JET because of their one year hiring process. Too damn long of a wait for me, haha.

I got accepted to both Interac (ALT) and iTTTi Peppy Kids Club (Eikawa) but Interac offered me a Dec or later start date, while PKC offered me an October start date.

I went with PKC because of the earlier start date and, as an eikawa, isn't as bad as the others where your salary depends on how many students you have in your class. Plus, classes are in the afternoons so it's much better for me.