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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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07-16-2012, 04:48 PM
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#1 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: vancouver
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| Ex Gf Friends with Benefits
Was wondering what you guys out there think about being friends with benefits with an ex-girlfriend for 5 and a half years. It was her suggestion to be friends with benefits with me. We have been broken up for about a few months now.
Leave me some feedback guys.
Thanks.
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07-16-2012, 04:54 PM
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#2 | | -Stare-
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: GVR
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who broke it off before?
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07-16-2012, 04:54 PM
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#3 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: vancouver
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She broke it off with me
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07-16-2012, 04:55 PM
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#4 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Richmond
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Who cares.
YES
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07-16-2012, 04:55 PM
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#5 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: vancouver
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She said she needed space. So I let her have her space
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07-16-2012, 04:56 PM
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#6 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: vancouver
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It's all fun and games until either you or her starts Falling for each other again. Say you fall back in love with her and want than just what's between her legs or vice-versa. Are you willing to take that gamble?
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07-16-2012, 04:59 PM
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#7 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: vancouver
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Originally Posted by sekin67835  It's all fun and games until either you or her starts Falling for each other again. Say you fall back in love with her and want than just what's between her legs or vice-versa. Are you willing to take that gamble? | This is the first time I have encountered this type of situation. I actually like being single now and I do not want to be in another relationship for a while. I just wanna concentrate on myself and if this is what she wants then I will play along with it
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07-16-2012, 05:04 PM
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#8 | | MoD
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: a rainy city
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FWB can and can not work based on the couple involved.
Rules MUST be FIRMLY in placed prior to engaging.
It is extremely complicated as you guys were in a prior long term relationship
There are two paths with very different endings.
1. Everything plays according to plans. BOTH of you keeps emotions separate from the "FWB." When it comes time to end, a discussion happens and the FWB ends happily and peacefully.
2. One of you will start to re-develop feelings and start to take the FWB relationship too seriously. Jealousy develops and starts to impede on the other individual. A bitter argument will happen and feelings of regret will surface.
I personally don't think going into FWB with your ex is a good idea. There has to be some residual feelings left over from your relationship. You guys did go out for 5+years. It will get messy/complicated fast.
Also, how did you guys break up? The thought that she is using the FWB as a means to get together with you again crossed my mind immediately.
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07-16-2012, 05:09 PM
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#9 | | Hopeless Romantic
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Surrey
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Even with rules it's hard at times to stick to them...
Had the same suggestion with my ex before and she always wanted to stick around and cuddle afterwards which eventually lead to wanting to go out to eat, etc. I always shut it down and it didnt last too long because of that.
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07-16-2012, 05:18 PM
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#10 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: vancouver
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by k2_alpha FWB can and can not work based on the couple involved.
Rules MUST be FIRMLY in placed prior to engaging.
It is extremely complicated as you guys were in a prior long term relationship
There are two paths with very different endings.
1. Everything plays according to plans. BOTH of you keeps emotions separate from the "FWB." When it comes time to end, a discussion happens and the FWB ends happily and peacefully.
2. One of you will start to re-develop feelings and start to take the FWB relationship too seriously. Jealousy develops and starts to impede on the other individual. A bitter argument will happen and feelings of regret will surface.
I personally don't think going into FWB with your ex is a good idea. There has to be some residual feelings left over from your relationship. You guys did go out for 5+years. It will get messy/complicated fast.
Also, how did you guys break up? The thought that she is using the FWB as a means to get together with you again crossed my mind immediately. |
She told me one day that she wanted time and space for herself and that we should go on a break, which leaded to a break up. I cut communication with her for a while and recently she had been calling me, so I called her back to see whats up and there she suggested the FWB.
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07-16-2012, 05:22 PM
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#11 | | Mod.
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: east vanner
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DO NOT DO IT. I did it with my ex who broke it off with me and it turned me into an emotional wreck. Granted maybe it was because she just one day stopped calling me and didn't speak to me for over a year, but either way it's not a good idea. Someone will get hurt in the end
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07-16-2012, 05:26 PM
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#12 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Burnaby
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It's a trap.
__________________
Electrician.
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07-16-2012, 05:31 PM
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#13 | | -Stare-
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: GVR
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sounds ... like a trap
but... have a try first
let us know  | |
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07-16-2012, 05:37 PM
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#14 | | How I Mod your mother
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Crayon Box
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Everyone says nothing will happen. Truth is someone ALWAYS wants it to be more and the other doesn't.
__________________ Quote: | [19-07, 16:52] bloodmack: EB did u change my avatar and title?
| Quote: | [19-07, 16:54] El Bastardo: bm i have no idea what you're talking about because i don't speak gorilla
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07-16-2012, 05:40 PM
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#15 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: bedroom
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I think murd0c has some success in a FWB relationship....but I don't think it was an ex.
I Have had friends who have tried it....it never ends well. super messy...fucked up feelings....a lot of tears and jealousy (on both ends) and turned exes into huge enemies.
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07-16-2012, 05:45 PM
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#16 | | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
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your ex from 5 years ago  | |
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07-16-2012, 05:46 PM
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#17 | | 無敵
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Vancouver
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Like everyone else has said, don't do it. It'll always end up messy due to one party using it as an attempt to "get together". Stay away from ex's. 
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07-16-2012, 06:26 PM
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#18 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: 604
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I don't see a problem with it unless you guys are 18. If you're both adults, just get your rocks off and go home. When one of you finds someone serious, cut contact until you're both single again.
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Scizz's a living legend and I tell you why, everybody wanna be Scizz an Scizz still alive
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07-16-2012, 06:33 PM
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#19 | | Big Drama Show
Join Date: Oct 2010
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it's all good till someone starts catching feelings again
keep it strictly to fucking, once you get bored, leave
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07-16-2012, 07:33 PM
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#20 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: vancouver
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I'm 24 and she is 23. I do not have a romantic feeling for her anymore and since she needs me physically for sex, I'm just going to play along.
Thread closed.
Thank you all for your feedback.
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07-16-2012, 07:47 PM
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#21 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: 604
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Wrap that shit up.
__________________
Scizz's a living legend and I tell you why, everybody wanna be Scizz an Scizz still alive
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07-16-2012, 07:51 PM
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#22 | | How I Mod your mother
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Crayon Box
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So...why did you ask for feedback if you were gonna do it anyway? 
__________________ Quote: | [19-07, 16:52] bloodmack: EB did u change my avatar and title?
| Quote: | [19-07, 16:54] El Bastardo: bm i have no idea what you're talking about because i don't speak gorilla
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07-16-2012, 07:52 PM
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#23 | | Survivor MOD
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DONT DO IT
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07-16-2012, 07:57 PM
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#24 | | I bringith the lowerballerith
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by !Yaminashi So...why did you ask for feedback if you were gonna do it anyway? | well he wanted some feedback and he got some, but after considering, he probably thought being FWB isn't that bad.
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07-16-2012, 08:26 PM
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#25 | | How I Mod your mother
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Crayon Box
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Originally Posted by guddagudd well he wanted some feedback and he got some, but after considering, he probably thought being FWB isn't that bad. | Which leads back to what everyone said, DONT DO IT 
Oh well..
__________________ Quote: | [19-07, 16:52] bloodmack: EB did u change my avatar and title?
| Quote: | [19-07, 16:54] El Bastardo: bm i have no idea what you're talking about because i don't speak gorilla
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