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04-17-2022, 01:41 PM
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#21551 | My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
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Originally Posted by Hondaracer I’ve also known people who basically outright refused help from parents/family because they knew they were going to hold it over their heads going forward. If that’s the type of parent you’re gonna be, sorry but you’re a POS.
This is borderline like cult/religious thought process, original sin etc. we suffered for you therefor you must suffer as well. It’s disgusting |
My dear grandma lent us 25k to just put us over the top to get 20% down in our condo. Said don’t worry about it, pay it back when you can. The next week she started asking me about the money. Nope’d my way down to the bank/business LOC and paid her off the next day.
First and last family loan.
Family gifts are great - family loans are terrible.
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Originally Posted by westopher replace that wood for who gets producer the wood. | |
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04-17-2022, 02:04 PM
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#21552 | My homepage has been set to RS
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Originally Posted by 6793026 sorry, no matter what age, MAN THE FUCK UP. Esp. when you're married. You are apart of your family.
Eg// Wife says A, you agree with A.
Wife has rule B for your kids, and your mom says rule A, you MAN THE FUCK UP and say "No one knows better than the mother of the child on what is best".
At a certain stage in life, one should be able to discern over your parents and tell them to F off and keep their input to themselves.
I have earned my respect and place. If you ain't got nothing positive to say or constructive, don't you dare to drag me down. | I feel like this mentality is unnecessarily aggressive. Asian parents are they way they are because of their culture and experience. Our generation is educated and informed enough to understand they mean well, they just don't have the communication skills to communicate with us properly.
To disrespect them and tell them to F off, is definitely not something my friend would ever do, myself included.
To think you or me or anyone knows what they're doing in life is false. Everyone can learn something from everyone. Just because we don't typically agree with our parents generation, that doesn't mean we can't learn from them.
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04-17-2022, 02:10 PM
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#21553 | My homepage has been set to RS
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Originally Posted by 6thGear. My ex's parents are exactly like that. While still together they offered to give money for a down payment so we can buy a house in Vancouver (when it was still around $1mil) when they knew I didn't have the money nor did my parents. I outright refused which led to arguments between us 2. On the other hand my buddy thought the opposite and accepted a similar offer from his wifes mom. Now married with 2 girls he's paying dearly for it everyday being emasculated by the MIL. | I'm not saying there's a right or wrong for your situation, but on paper isn't your buddy better off than you right now? Won't his kids be better off than your kids?
I'm sure some would say being emascualted by the MIL seems like a reasonable thing if it allowed them to own a detached house in Vancouver...
Again, to each their own. But I know I would take low blows from the MIL every so often if that meant I could own a detached house in one of the greatest cities in the world.
You own a house in Vancouver and you're already five levels up versus everyone else. Hard to pass that up.
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04-17-2022, 02:21 PM
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#21554 | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
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But isn't everything that your parents doesn't spend yours anyways. I mean they can't take it with them, and most Asians will leave something for their kids unless you dishonour them for some reason.
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04-17-2022, 02:36 PM
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#21555 | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by PeanutButter I'm not saying there's a right or wrong for your situation, but on paper isn't your buddy better off than you right now? Won't his kids be better off than your kids?
I'm sure some would say being emascualted by the MIL seems like a reasonable thing if it allowed them to own a detached house in Vancouver...
Again, to each their own. But I know I would take low blows from the MIL every so often if that meant I could own a detached house in one of the greatest cities in the world.
You own a house in Vancouver and you're already five levels up versus everyone else. Hard to pass that up. | Some people's pride, ego, happiness are more important to them. and your assuming the MIL in law is in the everyday life... What if she was there everyday because they're retired and nothing else to do but spend time with the grandchildren? Quote:
Originally Posted by JDMDreams But isn't everything that your parents doesn't spend yours anyways. I mean they can't take it with them, and most Asians will leave something for their kids unless you dishonour them for some reason. | My cousin told his parents to not leave him anything. Instead he wants them to spent the money on themselves.
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04-17-2022, 02:57 PM
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#21556 | RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
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Originally Posted by JDMDreams But isn't everything that your parents doesn't spend yours anyways. I mean they can't take it with them, and most Asians will leave something for their kids unless you dishonour them for some reason. | One of my close friends (only child) and her husband told her parents they were not planning on having kids a few years back.
Once they finally accepted it, her parents have significantly upped their luxury spending. Travelling (pre-COVID), new cars, designer clothes...
(She's fine with that, she wants them to enjoy their wealth - she just thought it was funny to see such a marked change.)
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04-17-2022, 03:09 PM
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#21557 | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
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Originally Posted by The Producer My dear grandma lent us 25k to just put us over the top to get 20% down in our condo. Said don’t worry about it, pay it back when you can. The next week she started asking me about the money. Nope’d my way down to the bank/business LOC and paid her off the next day.
First and last family loan.
Family gifts are great - family loans are terrible.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk | Everything is always fine and dandy till money is involved
Last edited by 6thGear.; 04-17-2022 at 03:12 PM.
Reason: Wrong quote
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04-17-2022, 03:12 PM
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#21558 | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Vancouver
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Originally Posted by PeanutButter I'm not saying there's a right or wrong for your situation, but on paper isn't your buddy better off than you right now? Won't his kids be better off than your kids?
I'm sure some would say being emascualted by the MIL seems like a reasonable thing if it allowed them to own a detached house in Vancouver...
Again, to each their own. But I know I would take low blows from the MIL every so often if that meant I could own a detached house in one of the greatest cities in the world.
You own a house in Vancouver and you're already five levels up versus everyone else. Hard to pass that up. |
Oh. He doesn't own the house. His name isn't even on title but he still has to pay his part for mortgage/utilities/etc. His MIL is also always over even spending the night spending time with the girls. He gets an earful every night so he either calls us up to hang out or plays as much hockey as he can to get out of the house at night. Is his kids probably better off than mine? Most definitely cause they have a big Richmond house to run around in. Is he better off then me on paper? No. Cause he owns nothing. Everything on title is his wife/MIL name. But... if/ when she passes then I guess be default through his wife he'll "own" the house.
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04-17-2022, 03:14 PM
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#21559 | I have named my kids VIC and VLS
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Sounds like that will end well..
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04-17-2022, 03:30 PM
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#21560 | I STILL don't get it
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Originally Posted by Traum Just gonna second that Asian root comment Euro7r made here. There is a lot of Asian values that are good and all, but also a ton of stuff that is pure, utter BS. You are supposed to study hard when you are in school instead of spending time playing. Not supposed to date bcos it would distract you from school (and getting good grades). (And god forbid -- you must absolutley abstain from sex bcos... sex is evil and will totally screw up your life if anyone gets preggers?) You are supposed to go to university. Once out of university, you're supposed to find a good (white collar) job. And once you've worked for a few years, you're supposed to get married. And then once you got married, you're supposed to have kids anywhere within a year to no more than a few years. And you are supposed to get a house, and you are supposed to at least invite your parents to live there with you. And then you are supposed to let them look after your children for you, using the age-old ways that they raised you on, except for the parts where they absolutely forbid you to do when you were young (like having candies, for example), but now would spoil the grandchild rotten by doing exactly that very same thing (giving them lots of candies to eat, for example). And then you are supposed to bust your a$$ providing for your family.
There is just so much BS along every step of the way, with my favourite being how the hell am I supposed to marry someone if I wasn't allowed to date anyone at an earlier age?
Thankfully, my parents are generally not like that, even though they absolutely have the undertone for it -- but at least they kept a lid on it well enough to allow me to do whatever the heck I wanted to -- most of the time LOL~ But there are soooo many Asian parents who are like that.
/rant | Lmao, I experienced much of this growing up which definitely affected my relationship with my parents, and puts in perspective the type of parent I want to be when I decide to have kids.
The biggest thing for my parents was going to university and fulfilling their ideology of a "respectable" career as a physician or lawyer. I was never the book smart type, and ended up getting kicked out of university after being placed on academic probation.
My parents were often embarrassed about my career choices, and always compared me to their friend's kids who were going to SFU/UBC for some garbage degree.
In the end, I think I'm the only one that ended up with a detached property and a six figure salary.
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04-17-2022, 03:34 PM
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#21561 | Need to Seek Professional Help
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Originally Posted by Hondaracer Sounds like that will end well.. | Yup. He'll inherit the inlaw family fortune, but it might cost him his sanity lol.
But on a side note, no wonder he's feeling the pressure and is unable to stand up to the in-laws. The house isn't even his. I'm not excusing it, but now I can understand why the MIL looks at him as a failure for being "unable" to provide for her daughter (to the MIL's expectations). But where's the wife in this? She should be supporting her husband in this to an extent.
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04-17-2022, 03:44 PM
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#21562 | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
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If there’s some marital issues he could be the one that’s been paying for the house the whole time but the only one that doesn’t get to own it, which is not ideal.
When family disrespects the other side of a marriage, it’s pretty ripe for those marital issues to arise as well.
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98 technoviolet M3/2/5 Quote:
Originally Posted by boostfever Westopher is correct. | Quote:
Originally Posted by fsy82 seems like you got a dick up your ass well..get that checked | Quote:
Originally Posted by punkwax Well.. I’d hate to be the first to say it, but Westopher is correct. | |
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04-17-2022, 03:48 PM
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#21563 | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
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Wife sides with her mom. He's in such a terrible situation I do feel bad for him but at the time he felt it was a great financial move for him but at the same time he's in so much debt right now. However hes not in that bad of a situation overall cause he still has his mom's Richmond home but she's still around and kicking but his journey to SFH ownership is so bumpy to say the least assuming he hasn't slit his wrists by then.
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04-17-2022, 04:02 PM
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#21564 | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
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Originally Posted by 6thGear. Oh. He doesn't own the house. His name isn't even on title but he still has to pay his part for mortgage/utilities/etc. His MIL is also always over even spending the night spending time with the girls. He gets an earful every night so he either calls us up to hang out or plays as much hockey as he can to get out of the house at night. Is his kids probably better off than mine? Most definitely cause they have a big Richmond house to run around in. Is he better off then me on paper? No. Cause he owns nothing. Everything on title is his wife/MIL name. But... if/ when she passes then I guess be default through his wife he'll "own" the house. | Jesus, different strokes for different stokes but there isn't anybody going to run my life like that. My wifes family is pretty good for the most part but she has one overbearing aunt. I remember yesrs ago her family us st our house for Easter actually, aunts, cousins, nieces and nephews.
Her aunt starts dictating to me what I should be doing, I should be in the back yard with all the kids doing something another. I lost my shit in front of her whole family, I told her it's my house I pay the bills and I'll do whatever I want, you don't like it there's the fucking door.
The last time she ever tried me, my wifes cousins and her brother came up to me after and were like that was great. Lol
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“The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I don´t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That´s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth.” - Rocky Balboa |
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04-17-2022, 04:49 PM
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#21565 | I have named my kids VIC and VLS
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Originally Posted by westopher If there’s some marital issues he could be the one that’s been paying for the house the whole time but the only one that doesn’t get to own it, which is not ideal.
When family disrespects the other side of a marriage, it’s pretty ripe for those marital issues to arise as well. | So he’ll be homeless with no assets paying out the ass for child support.
Personally would have never agreed to that without my name being on title
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04-17-2022, 05:18 PM
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#21566 | in the butt
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Wow wow wow guys...,
If they are married, but the house is "under her name", then he is entitled to half of it right
That guy won the male lotto. Love is half blind because when you divorce you can take half if you want to
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Originally Posted by Mr.Money i hate people who sound like they smoke meth then pretend like they matter.
Originally Posted by ilovebacon
Does anyone have a pair of 25 pounds one-inch hole for sale at a reasonable price?
Originally Posted by mikemhg
Clothes come off and my car is permeated with the smell of fillet-o-fish and canned tuna. | |
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04-17-2022, 06:35 PM
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#21567 | SiRVs up, dude
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Anyone here involved with the 2528E Broadway Gardina Villa fiasco? Cheapest properties in Vancouver right now for 300k a pop, with a 250k special levy.. fine place to live in the heart of Vancouver for 550!
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04-17-2022, 06:57 PM
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#21568 | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
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^ yah, I saw those. What is the deal there .. leaky condo? Has it been fixed.
And with the soon to be Broadway subway line ... you'd think that's a great investments. Older building with spacious units too.
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04-17-2022, 08:17 PM
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#21569 | in the butt
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Those units / buildings have been for sale, for years. I dont understand why anyone would want to buy there, history shows 13 units sold in the last 60 days 300-500$/sqft
Additionally, if im not mistaken, theres no financing. Cash or cash. If i had 300-600k cash, the last place i would be buying, is that building.
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Originally Posted by Mr.Money i hate people who sound like they smoke meth then pretend like they matter.
Originally Posted by ilovebacon
Does anyone have a pair of 25 pounds one-inch hole for sale at a reasonable price?
Originally Posted by mikemhg
Clothes come off and my car is permeated with the smell of fillet-o-fish and canned tuna. | |
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04-17-2022, 08:19 PM
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#21570 | My homepage has been set to RS
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Originally Posted by SiRV Anyone here involved with the 2528E Broadway Gardina Villa fiasco? Cheapest properties in Vancouver right now for 300k a pop, with a 250k special levy.. fine place to live in the heart of Vancouver for 550! | Ahh these units have been going on for awhile. I think the big issue is that you have to pay all cash, no mortgage. banks won't lend on these properties.
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04-17-2022, 08:49 PM
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#21571 | I don't get it
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^ I believe there's no insurance available for that property as well.
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04-17-2022, 09:06 PM
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#21572 | Need to Seek Professional Help
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Originally Posted by 6thGear. Wife sides with her mom. He's in such a terrible situation I do feel bad for him but at the time he felt it was a great financial move for him but at the same time he's in so much debt right now. However hes not in that bad of a situation overall cause he still has his mom's Richmond home but she's still around and kicking but his journey to SFH ownership is so bumpy to say the least assuming he hasn't slit his wrists by then. | Wife sides with her mom? Damn, he's gotten himself into an extremely toxic environment. I feel bad for him... it's one thing if it's just the MIL, but you can't get away from the wife lol. I hope he doesn't end up turning to the bottle to numb the pain.
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04-17-2022, 09:06 PM
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#21573 | I have named my kids VIC and VLS
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Did Mr.Happyslip get himself a house?
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04-17-2022, 09:41 PM
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#21574 | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
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Hard work has its limits... The old Asian mentality was useful when we lived in a society where Asian immigrants had few choices, took lousy jobs, and aspired to have white collared kids.
Now everyone has some sort of post secondary education and white collar work is no guarantor of success. I mean doctors and lawyers don't make enough money these days on their own to buy that coveted detached house in Vancouver. These days, hard work is not enough: you have to have some luck, good genes (so you can attract a successful partner), and be willing to take calculated risks to make it.
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04-17-2022, 09:59 PM
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#21575 | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
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interestingly the guarantor of success now is blue collar work. Get a trade, any trade, spend 5 years training under someone who knows their shit making 60-120 a year.
Spend the rest of your life with a license to print money with your only limitations being how hard you are willing to work. Want to make 200, 300 or more a year. No problem. Willing to work even harder the possibility to start your own business and make millions also still exists in plenty out there.
Not enough people value Blue collar work, it's sad. We got enough university grads lining up to become shitty teachers, mediocre engineers, or crappy doctors. More kids need to be taught if your a bad student and school isn't for you just get your ass to work, and learn along the way, it's perfectly fine.
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