[Confidential] What is the meaning of this relationship?

[mr_chin]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

Dude, she doesn't owe him anything. They knew each other for a few weeks and it was his choice to take her out, call, and text. It was his choice to care and like I said previously, she didn't make him like her.

Maybe he needs to take responsibility for not being upfront right away! What were HIS intentions? Why was he continuing to hang out with her?

Don't make this a bigger deal than it is. If she is acting like she doesn't like him because she genuinely does't like him...MOVE ON! If she is acting like this to play games....MOVE ON!

Either way, buddy needs to forget it.

He clearly states...

following 2 weeks, i took her out for dinners, went to the movies, and hung out quite frequently, handful of text messages every day. It was clear that she liked me, sending me messages every night saying she misses me, calling me often even at work on her break etc. and every time I'd drop her off at home she would give me a kiss.

So how did she didn't make him like her. A girl doesn't simply text "I miss you", calls on her break, and kisses him, if her intention was to be friends.

In some situations you can't just be upfront with a girl after 2 weeks. By doing so, it's either a hit and miss. You either get a response of their feelings or you scare them away. This guy played it safe and in reality, something cause her to act that way, and he deserves to know.

Originally Posted by Gridlock

What? She doesn't 'owe' him anything. They were hanging out, he got clingy and she went to find something more appropriate to her needs.

She 'could' be nice and say something like, "I'm just not that into you", but how many people at this stage are going to go out of their way to have THAT awkward conversation.

He took a risk in telling her that he had feelings. Welcome to what sometimes happens when you take a risk. You get burned.

although i may sound like i took her out EVERY DAY, no i didn't, i thoroughly controlled myself

I'm just in the wtf situation since her behavior changed all of the sudden. Its not like something went viral between us.. I thought maybe shes acting like this ever since i asked her to start a relationship? but no that doesn't make sense since we continued to hangout and do our things like nothing happened

According to OP, he didn't get clingy.

I think it's wrong that she just suddenly changed and not letting him know what happened. Are you saying she's shouldn't be responsible for her actions and decisions? After what she's done with and to him?

I agree with you though on the risk part, but the least she can do is tell him what and where did it go wrong. Who's problem is it? His or hers? By not being responsible, the rejection/negligence can really fuck with his head.

Everyone should be responsible for their actions. If she sat back and never led him on, and he's the one constantly texting her and asking her out and she denied it every time, then OP has nobody to blame but himself. But clearly this is not the case.

[El Bastardo]

The following is a reply from the anonymous member


alright.. so things have gotten pretty interesting between the last 2 days.

Due to her all the sudden lack of interest in me, i decided make a tough decision to get over her and stop any means to contact her.

2 days without contacting her, new years eve, drinking out with my friends, just as i thought i was going to get over her.. i get a text from her out of the blue asking if i can meet her somewhere and talk. However, being new years eve and all, i was already out and plastered, and wasn't able to drive any where.

i straight up told her that i couldn't meet her at this time, but we can meet the day after or if its urgent she can just call me or text right now.

than she sends me this long text..
"i think we both have something to say to each other about that night when you asked me to start dating. I thought about it for a long time whether i should. however, with my school starting on 2nd and with my full time work, i really don't see the relationship going any further down the road, i will barely have enough time to feed myself. i am really sorry. Lets forget what happened the first night we met, but stay as really close friends at this point, and keep in close contact and still hang out"

She's taking 4 classes in school and is working full time, so her excuses did seem quite legitimate.. but who knows... why the hell would you lead me all the way to ask you out in the first place if this was going to be the case right?

Now my main point..
From my past experiences, these "remain friends" relationships never go well especially when both of our relationship has progressed through this far. I'm just hesitant that the more i keep in contact with her, the more i will have troubles getting over her. But than again, i don't want to be a complete douche bag and ignore her.

I'm strongly leaning towards the option of just remaining civil with her, reduce the amount of keeping in touch with her and let her slowly fade away. What's the point of keeping in close contact with her knowing that i wont be able to get her? Hell, not even fwb since that will just make it even harder for me to get over her.

basically,
i boned her --> hung out like bf and gf --> and got friend zoned in the end lol

that's all i have to share with you guys. i think i know what i am going to do

Edit:

oh, forgot to add this my post

i did ask her what was up with the slow texting and lack of calls recently, i asked her if there was anything wrong?

she just said she was really busy with work these days and haven't had time to even contact her close friends even. yeah... doesn't sound like much of a legitimate reason.. I'm a busy guy myself, but its never been SO bad that its gone to that extend.

I don't really know at this point, she just sounded even more fishy and awkward

[SiRV]

Originally Posted by threezero

wow i was just almost the exact situation op. like almost exactly the same.

but i'm making myself move on now, no contact.


have to face the reality, she is fucking around hence she don't want to commit.

Me three (almost 2 years ago though), I was burned by one of these types too, took me a while to realize what was going on.. good learning experience though! Just cut loose and move on

[Soundy]

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

The following is a reply from the anonymous member


alright.. so things have gotten pretty interesting between the last 2 days.

Due to her all the sudden lack of interest in me, i decided make a tough decision to get over her and stop any means to contact her.

2 days without contacting her, new years eve, drinking out with my friends, just as i thought i was going to get over her.. i get a text from her out of the blue asking if i can meet her somewhere and talk.

I called it! Didn't I call it??

"What OP has to watch out for now, is if she suddenly reappears once he starts ignoring her."

[mr_chin]

typical girl that goes crazy when you don't text them.

doesn't it feel better now that she explained herself? whatever her "reasons" may be, don't let it bother one bit. to assume it's true, you're letting it affect you. to assume it's not, you're letting it affect you. just don't even think about if it's true or not.

your only option now and the best option is, get on with your life. she's already stated very clearly that she wants to be friends.

she either

a) really wants to be friends
b) playing hard to get and hopefully you would be persistent

girls like to be chased. best to and i hope you texted back like, "sounds good", "alright cool", "i understand" and cut all connection with the this girl. text only if she texts you, but don't be detail in your text. use one or two word replies.

girls go crazy when you don't text them and see you enjoying your life without them. to increase the intensity, post shit about you having fun like pics of you drinking and getting hammered with your (girl) friends, vacations, and shit like that on facebook, instagram, etc.

seems like this is not your first time and you're a very sentimental person to feelings. so whenever you want to text her, keep in mind that she's busy with her 4 classes and a full time job.

just remember, it's her lost. it's so easy to ignore and avoid than it is to try and build a relationship. you came out the bigger person than her, and one day she'll realize what she lost.

[dinosaur]

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

The following is a reply from the anonymous member


alright.. so things have gotten pretty interesting between the last 2 days.

Due to her all the sudden lack of interest in me, i decided make a tough decision to get over her and stop any means to contact her.

2 days without contacting her, new years eve, drinking out with my friends, just as i thought i was going to get over her.. i get a text from her out of the blue asking if i can meet her somewhere and talk. However, being new years eve and all, i was already out and plastered, and wasn't able to drive any where.

i straight up told her that i couldn't meet her at this time, but we can meet the day after or if its urgent she can just call me or text right now.

than she sends me this long text..
"i think we both have something to say to each other about that night when you asked me to start dating. I thought about it for a long time whether i should. however, with my school starting on 2nd and with my full time work, i really don't see the relationship going any further down the road, i will barely have enough time to feed myself. i am really sorry. Lets forget what happened the first night we met, but stay as really close friends at this point, and keep in close contact and still hang out"

She's taking 4 classes in school and is working full time, so her excuses did seem quite legitimate.. but who knows... why the hell would you lead me all the way to ask you out in the first place if this was going to be the case right?

So...let me get this straight. She decided to sit down with you and tell you what's up (like you wanted) and you are still not satisfied??

And, since when does you liking someone and asking them out me the answer is automatically 'yes'?? Ever think that your perspective as to what happened when you both hung out was a little skewed?

Now my main point..
From my past experiences, these "remain friends" relationships never go well especially when both of our relationship has progressed through this far. I'm just hesitant that the more i keep in contact with her, the more i will have troubles getting over her. But than again, i don't want to be a complete douche bag and ignore her.

I'm strongly leaning towards the option of just remaining civil with her, reduce the amount of keeping in touch with her and let her slowly fade away. What's the point of keeping in close contact with her knowing that i wont be able to get her? Hell, not even fwb since that will just make it even harder for me to get over her.

basically,
i boned her --> hung out like bf and gf --> and got friend zoned in the end lol

that's all i have to share with you guys. i think i know what i am going to do

Edit:

oh, forgot to add this my post

i did ask her what was up with the slow texting and lack of calls recently, i asked her if there was anything wrong?

she just said she was really busy with work these days and haven't had time to even contact her close friends even. yeah... doesn't sound like much of a legitimate reason.. I'm a busy guy myself, but its never been SO bad that its gone to that extend.

I don't really know at this point, she just sounded even more fishy and awkward

What exactly do you want from her. You asked, she answered....you don't like the fucking answer. But what were you expecting? If you don't want to be friends, don't be friends! You guys had a one night stand and because YOU are "not a one night stand guy" YOU kept in contact with her. If YOU did not want to be friends with her, YOU should not have hung out with her for a few weeks as friends before telling her you wanted more.

You are just pissed, choked, and suspicious because you don't like the fact that she rejected you.

Maybe you weren't that good in bed.

[Gridlock]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

So...let me get this straight. She decided to sit down with you and tell you what's up (like you wanted) and you are still not satisfied??

And, since when does you liking someone and asking them out me the answer is automatically 'yes'?? Ever think that your perspective as to what happened when you both hung out was a little skewed?



What exactly do you want from her. You asked, she answered....you don't like the fucking answer. But what were you expecting? If you don't want to be friends, don't be friends! You guys had a one night stand and because YOU are "not a one night stand guy" YOU kept in contact with her. If YOU did not want to be friends with her, YOU should not have hung out with her for a few weeks as friends before telling her you wanted more.

You are just pissed, choked, and suspicious because you don't like the fact that she rejected you.

Maybe you weren't that good in bed.

"It" has been nailed. You nailed it.

[Verdasco]

sounds like was a good friend to me, friend zone material. u want to watch movie at metro with me? lololl

srsly, sex doesnt mean an automatic connection, i know girls who do that and thenn they find something better(men). or ur key to seduction sucks.....
Posted via RS Mobile

[Glove]

so you did end up banging her?

I dont see the problem here...

another notch on the belt bro, look onto the next notch.

[guddagudd]

so you guys always say "bitches be crazy" when they want you when you don't give them attention. and your advices are always "ignore" "cut contact" or "move on". But any advice on how to get these girls? sure it's nice to not hurt your ego but it would be nicer to boost your ego by getting these girls

[Psykopathik]

should it not be:

"Female Canines

suffer from Insanity"

[melloman]

Originally Posted by Glove

so you did end up banging her?

I dont see the problem here...

another notch on the belt bro, look onto the next notch.

He wanted the same consistent vag I think. Thus how he wasn't satisfied with just a one nighter.

[mr_chin]

Are you guys missing the point that she led him on with texts and kisses after dates?

And for the poster who wants to know how to get these girls, it's simple. You can't. Move on.
Posted via RS Mobile

[tool001]

^ dude, give up already,,
women do that, for one reason or another, use and abuse. .. either way,, it went both ways. nobody owes anybody anything ..specially if they were going out without any commitments and/or for short time.

one way or another , he needs to move on... simple..

op. just let her be... let her start and u respond. thats about it. dont go out of ur way to please her..

[Noir]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

Are you guys missing the point that she led him on with texts and kisses after dates?

And for the poster who wants to know how to get these girls, it's simple. You can't. Move on.
Posted via RS Mobile

Dude, the only thing you're an expert of is making women feel awkward. Seriously. I read your so-called words of wisdom and "awkward" is the only outcome I can foresee resulting from any and ALL of your advises; for any woman.

[Soundy]

Originally Posted by Turbo E

should it not be:

"Female Canines

suffer from Insanity"

Probably... I didn't make it, I just linked it

[mr_chin]

Originally Posted by Noir

Dude, the only thing you're an expert of is making women feel awkward. Seriously. I read your so-called words of wisdom and "awkward" is the only outcome I can foresee resulting from any and ALL of your advises; for any woman.

Lol. It's so much easier to tell someone to move on when you're not in their position. But when the same situation happens to you where a woman leads you on by consistently sending "i miss you" text and kisses you after a date. And then later go MIA on you, you'd wish she give you a reason why.

No shit it'll be awkward when discussions about feelings are put on the table, it's reality. You don't think that what she did bothers her over time? (which it did apparently) You think she can go on pretending that nothing happened? You don't think she wishes that he would asks her what really happened? (which she does apparently since she's the one that text him back about the situation) Girls think more than guys do and they tend to over think.

I'm sure the OP is not a kid anymore and can maturely go up to her or call her and asks her what happened the other night (which in fact he did). OP already stated he's not the one night stand guy, and people already started labeling him with wanting consistent vag.

You speak as if you can easily diminish a feeling a girl made you feel. Easier said than done when you're the one giving advice. Lose the man ego and go deal with a problem like a grown up. You don't fuck with someone's feelings and call it a night, if that's the person you are, I feel sorry for you.

EDIT - Everyone's opinion is different, what you see, foresee, whatever, may not be what everyone thinks. When sharing advice or opinions, there is no right or wrong. Do you see me going around posting about other people's advice being bad or wrong? You don't like it, don't read it. Between a girl and a guy, I think it goes from interest, dating, bf/gf, commitment, etc. etc. Apparently they are dating and she's already giving him signs that she's ready for bf/gf. If OP misunderstood those signs, it would be kind of her to explain to him why (which she did).

I rest my case.

[Powerslide]

^ there is no right and wrong, fine. but there is effective and ineffective

OP I've been in this situation before too. The sooner you cut and move past it the better. She texted you on NYE because she misses the attention. Don't be friends. You already have friends (I hope

Good luck!

[Noir]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

Lol. It's so much easier to tell someone to move on when you're not in their position. But when the same situation happens to you where a woman leads you on by consistently sending "i miss you" text and kisses you after a date. And then later go MIA on you, you'd wish she give you a reason why.

No shit it'll be awkward when discussions about feelings are put on the table, it's reality. You don't think that what she did bothers her over time? (which it did apparently) You think she can go on pretending that nothing happened? You don't think she wishes that he would asks her what really happened? (which she does apparently since she's the one that text him back about the situation) Girls think more than guys do and they tend to over think.

I'm sure the OP is not a kid anymore and can maturely go up to her or call her and asks her what happened the other night (which in fact he did). OP already stated he's not the one night stand guy, and people already started labeling him with wanting consistent vag.

You speak as if you can easily diminish a feeling a girl made you feel. Easier said than done when you're the one giving advice. Lose the man ego and go deal with a problem like a grown up. You don't fuck with someone's feelings and call it a night, if that's the person you are, I feel sorry for you.

EDIT - Everyone's opinion is different, what you see, foresee, whatever, may not be what everyone thinks. When sharing advice or opinions, there is no right or wrong. Do you see me going around posting about other people's advice being bad or wrong? You don't like it, don't read it. Between a girl and a guy, I think it goes from interest, dating, bf/gf, commitment, etc. etc. Apparently they are dating and she's already giving him signs that she's ready for bf/gf. If OP misunderstood those signs, it would be kind of her to explain to him why (which she did).

I rest my case.

You rest your case?


And why feel sorry for me? If I fuck with someone's feelings... you're better off feeling sorry for the other party.


And if anything, there's nothing more mature than one who can spare the other party the awkwardness, or embarrassment. Honestly, the fact that you need everything spelled out to you, you need everything explained to you verbatim, despite what all the body language et al is already communicating to you and you still need to hear the words is rather kiddish.


Like someone already said, most of the time, the reason why people will not say "these" kind of things out in the open and blunt is to spare your feelings. Because most people have courtesy; and most people have the common sense to get a hint.

MOST PEOPLE.

What kind of category do you fit under if you do not possess any of the above?

[mr_chin]

Originally Posted by Noir

You rest your case?


And why feel sorry for me? If I fuck with someone's feelings... you're better off feeling sorry for the other party.


And if anything, there's nothing more mature than one who can spare the other party the awkwardness, or embarrassment. Honestly, the fact that you need everything spelled out to you, you need everything explained to you verbatim, despite what all the body language et al is already communicating to you and you still need to hear the words is rather kiddish.


Like someone already said, most of the time, the reason why people will not say "these" kind of things out in the open and blunt is to spare your feelings. Because most people have courtesy; and most people have the common sense to get a hint.

MOST PEOPLE.

What kind of category do you fit under if you do not possess any of the above?

The fuck are you talking about? Can we speak human language here please? You might as well stab someone in the guts and leave them there to die, and tell them, "I'll be nice and courteous to leave you here wondering why I didn't just kill you."

How about spare someone's feelings by not leading them on at all? If you're so nice in the first place, why lead someone on and leave them there to wonder what the fuck happened later? I think making up some bullshit excuse would be more courteous than just leaving without a word.

Awkward and embarrassment? You better bet there will be when someone do these shit to me.

Believe me, the next time a girl does exactly what the girl did to the OP, she'll want to give you an explanation. It's a human thing to do. If she doesn't, then congratulations, you've met your soul mate.

I fit in the category where I am responsible for my words and actions. I know which one you fit under, the one with no feelings. The one where someone can step on your shoe, spit on them and walk away with a simple nod. You don't need it spelled out, he nodded right?

But I really hope you're the type that don't mind having your feelings fucked and not the ones that fuck with other people's feelings and expect them to feel they way you do.

PS - You're right, I wouldn't feel sorry for you, I would feel sorry for your parents who raised you like that. (speaking if's here)

[Not really racist!]

[dinosaur]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

The fuck are you talking about? Can we speak human language here please? You might as well stab someone in the guts and leave them there to die, and tell them, "I'll be nice and courteous to leave you here wondering why I didn't just kill you."

wow. that escalated quickly.

[Gridlock]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

The fuck are you talking about? Can we speak human language here please? You might as well stab someone in the guts and leave them there to die, and tell them, "I'll be nice and courteous to leave you here wondering why I didn't just kill you."

How about spare someone's feelings by not leading them on at all? If you're so nice in the first place, why lead someone on and leave them there to wonder what the fuck happened later? I think making up some bullshit excuse would be more courteous than just leaving without a word.

Awkward and embarrassment? You better bet there will be when someone do these shit to me.

Believe me, the next time a girl does exactly what the girl did to the OP, she'll want to give you an explanation. It's a human thing to do. If she doesn't, then congratulations, you've met your soul mate.

I fit in the category where I am responsible for my words and actions. I know which one you fit under, the one with no feelings. The one where someone can step on your shoe, spit on them and walk away with a simple nod. You don't need it spelled out, he nodded right?

But I really hope you're the type that don't mind having your feelings fucked and not the ones that fuck with other people's feelings and expect them to feel they way you do.

PS - You're right, I wouldn't feel sorry for you, I would feel sorry for your parents who raised you like that. (speaking if's here)

Not set up well for casual dating, are you?

[Noir]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

blah blah blah

Wow, just jump right into the deep end why don't you. Sure, that's not awkward at all



Oh and BTW, you're right. You should feel sorry for my parents. They had their work cut out for them when raising me. OTOH.... I think I feel more sorry for ANY girl that has to deal with this:

Originally Posted by mr_chin

The fuck are you talking about? Can we speak human language here please? You might as well stab someone in the guts and leave them there to die, and tell them, "I'll be nice and courteous to leave you here wondering why I didn't just kill you."

How about spare someone's feelings by not leading them on at all? If you're so nice in the first place, why lead someone on and leave them there to wonder what the fuck happened later? I think making up some bullshit excuse would be more courteous than just leaving without a word.

Awkward and embarrassment? You better bet there will be when someone do these shit to me.

Believe me, the next time a girl does exactly what the girl did to the OP, she'll want to give you an explanation. It's a human thing to do. If she doesn't, then congratulations, you've met your soul mate.

I fit in the category where I am responsible for my words and actions. I know which one you fit under, the one with no feelings. The one where someone can step on your shoe, spit on them and walk away with a simple nod. You don't need it spelled out, he nodded right?

But I really hope you're the type that don't mind having your feelings fucked and not the ones that fuck with other people's feelings and expect them to feel they way you do.

PS - You're right, I wouldn't feel sorry for you, I would feel sorry for your parents who raised you like that. (speaking if's here)

[dinosaur]

Originally Posted by Noir

OTOH.... I think I feel more sorry for ANY girl that has to deal with this: