Whatcha guys think of my first article

[MindBomber]

I'm pleasantly surprised by the quality of the peer review Jason's been offered.

Way to go, RS!

[MasonJar]

Originally Posted by multicartual

As long as I say interesting shit to the right audience, it doesn't have to be well-written, just the content of the message needs to resonate with the reader. For every different type of reader that exists, there is also another different style of writing.

To describe my own, I try taking a surreal metamodernist approach to unraveling what makes modern life so completely baffling and interesting at the same time. Life can be said to be a test of your own limits, how and why we create arbitrary limits for ourselves is what I enjoy researching.

We aren't in a time where people can go off and climb uncharted mountaintops for national glory like in the movie "The North Face", nor is there any just war you can sign up with the merchant marines and go fight in. Google Earth will tell you what is in every direction from your house, and pretty much uncovers all corners of the earth. So much of the adventure and new exploration of life is gone, at least in a physical sense. Caving has been growing as a sport, unexplored underground tunnels being one of the last places unexplored by humans. What's left?

Social exploration. The discovery of new ways to live, new ways to earn an income, new crypto-currencies to invest in, and new ways to date and love, these are some of the things I like to daydream about. Hopefully some of the things I think about will be appealing in some sort of creative form and eventually earn me an income doing what I love, which is daydreaming, and passing on my crazy bullshit.

If I ever hit the big time I will drive around with RS members in my gold Ferrari doing key bumps in the Wendy's drive-thru

It just took you 300 words to say "YOLO".

[Ronin]

Originally Posted by multicartual

Well, the girls I know liked it!

That's what happens when you ask people that can barely read. Your friends will obviously support you. You get honest opinions when you ask people that have nothing invested.

You asked. I gave my opinion. I think my opinion is valid since we write for similar sites.

Reading some of my early stuff, I think it wasn't much better but I learned by doing. Now I get paid to try restaurants and write about them.

Originally Posted by multicartual

It was well-received by a lot of women and a test audience, I thought maybe some of you Revsceners would appreciate the modern take on the holidays and romance! December is a really passionate month and I've been putting my pink Santa into a bunch of tight chimneys!

Office hookups are very, very common these days.

Christmas breakups are huge!!! So many guys get fucked over by spending a ton on their girlfriends, just to get dumped just after they give their girlfriends the gift, haha!

Surprise your girlfriend with a lumberjack cuddle tonight!

You also haven't written anything new. You think people don't know to keep their office romances quiet? Or how to cuddle a woman under a blanket? Do we need instructions to wrap ourselves in a blanket and drink til we're horny?

How is that modern? That's Mad Men.

[Ronin]

Originally Posted by multicartual

As long as I say interesting shit to the right audience, it doesn't have to be well-written, just the content of the message needs to resonate with the reader. For every different type of reader that exists, there is also another different style of writing.

To describe my own, I try taking a surreal metamodernist approach to unraveling what makes modern life so completely baffling and interesting at the same time. Life can be said to be a test of your own limits, how and why we create arbitrary limits for ourselves is what I enjoy researching.

We aren't in a time where people can go off and climb uncharted mountaintops for national glory like in the movie "The North Face", nor is there any just war you can sign up with the merchant marines and go fight in. Google Earth will tell you what is in every direction from your house, and pretty much uncovers all corners of the earth. So much of the adventure and new exploration of life is gone, at least in a physical sense. Caving has been growing as a sport, unexplored underground tunnels being one of the last places unexplored by humans. What's left?

Social exploration. The discovery of new ways to live, new ways to earn an income, new crypto-currencies to invest in, and new ways to date and love, these are some of the things I like to daydream about. Hopefully some of the things I think about will be appealing in some sort of creative form and eventually earn me an income doing what I love, which is daydreaming, and passing on my crazy bullshit.

If I ever hit the big time I will drive around with RS members in my gold Ferrari doing key bumps in the Wendy's drive-thru

I didn't even want to read this. Your punctuation is awful.

What you need is a ghost writer...someone that can put your ideas into words people want to read.

Sure, you can cater to the derpy audience if you want but even the joke asshole sites I read are well-written.

Honestly, I'm not trying to insult you but I'm not here to kiss your ass. If you didn't want advice, why on earth did you ask? I write for a site that gets Gastown Gazette monthly numbers every day and my articles are usually in the 1000 word feature range so I'm just trying to give you some advice.

The coles notes are:

1. You need to improve your grammar and punctuation.
2. You need to find a central theme to each post and stick to it.
3. Your word choices are...odd.

Originally Posted by multicartual

So was 50 Shades of Grey, but people ate that shit up!

Fuck me, you do not need a comma there...

[punkwax]

Originally Posted by MasonJar

This forum has been pretty fucking stale as of late

Join date: Dec 2013


So Jason is back after being banned.. wonder who else?

[Brianrietta]

Originally Posted by multicartual

As long as I say interesting shit to the right audience, it doesn't have to be well-written, just the content of the message needs to resonate with the reader. For every different type of reader that exists, there is also another different style of writing.

I presume by "right audience" you mean people who read literature which is mostly pictures?

[Energy]

Haha that comic reminds me of mustang766/joe45

[Ronin]

Originally Posted by Brianrietta

I presume by "right audience" you mean people who read literature which is mostly pictures?

Spoiler!

So he had the right idea posting on REVscene then...

[z3german]

Originally Posted by multicartual

Can't let the sheets get like that, I sleep on black satin, after a week it starts to look like a dark car parked under a tree full of well-fed birds

Man your responses to the mostly good criticisms are so shitty,

if you arnt looking for advice just ask your momma how good your article was...

[multicartual]

Originally Posted by Ronin

I write for a site that gets Gastown Gazette monthly numbers every day and my articles are usually in the 1000 word feature range so I'm just trying to give you some advice.

Writing about food is a lot different than writing about reality from my perspective. There are 1000's of "foodie" guys out there writing, but only 1 dude like me.

[multicartual]

Originally Posted by Ronin

What you need is a ghost writer...someone that can put your ideas into words people want to read.

I'm actually hiring ghost writers in the new year. I need to finish several of the sci-fi books under psuedonyms so I won't confuse my brand.

One of the books I'm working on right now with the working title "Bitcoin Kings" is about a small group of nerdy friends who hit it big on bitcoins, but the money leads them all into a shitload of trouble.

[punkwax]

BitKings.

Royalties pls.

[MasonJar]

Originally Posted by multicartual

One of the books I'm working on right now with the working title "Bitcoin Kings" is about a small group of nerdy friends who hit it big on bitcoins, but the money leads them all into a shitload of trouble.

Like....Boiler Room?

[z3german]

Originally Posted by multicartual

Writing about food is a lot different than writing about reality from my perspective. There are 1000's of "foodie" guys out there writing, but only 1 dude like me.

its pretty funny that you claim to fuck at dem bitches and such and such, giving out advice to people...

but yet you need to masturbate with your words to make yourself feel better, practically begging for attention and looking for confirmation of what you think of yourself.

you seem like a dime a dozen bud, i have a friend pretty similar to how you are, and most people with a half brain dont like him at all. He still gets the bitches doe, so theres that (but they are all dumb broads.... and some really underage )

[Bimmette]

Originally Posted by Nodnarb

BitKings.

:

[jasonturbo]

Originally Posted by Bimmette

:

... Bimmette, do you know OP "personally"?

[Bimmette]

Originally Posted by jasonturbo

... Bimmette, do you know OP "personally"?

No.