Malaysian Airline loses contact with passenger airline

[snails]

Originally Posted by Hondaracer

It's like those people who were "abused" by an uncle, relative, etc to carrying degrees

Now at 21 their complete life is literally ruined, they're living on the streets and they are a drain on society

At some point you have to get over it
Posted via RS Mobile

there is a difference between not having closure and someone that used it as an excuse to ruin their lives

after the shit i went through (not having parents and having to man the fck up at 17 to take care of my 15 year old sister) i have 0 sympathy for those who make shitty life decisions because something went wrong.

yes they have to move on. but moving on and closure are 2 different things. moving on is an act. closure is a feeling.

[AzNightmare]

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma

In a few years the only ppl that have still not moved on are the ones I am describing. The ones that even with time, they will never let go.
I am targeting them.

Well WHO exactly are the people that are being target, that haven't moved on after a few years?


Right, this happened just under a month ago.

[Hondaracer]

Originally Posted by snails

there is a difference between not having closure and someone that used it as an excuse to ruin their lives

after the shit i went through (not having parents and having to man the fck up at 17 to take care of my 15 year old sister) i have 0 sympathy for those who make shitty life decisions because something went wrong.

yes they have to move on. but moving on and closure are 2 different things. moving on is an act. closure is a feeling.

True true

I respect you as well for that attitude
Posted via RS Mobile

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

Originally Posted by Hondaracer

It's like those people who were "abused" by an uncle, relative, etc to carrying degrees

Now at 21 their complete life is literally ruined, they're living on the streets and they are a drain on society

At some point you have to get over it
Posted via RS Mobile

^
EXACTLY.



can one really move on without closure? or have closure without moving on?

I mean PROPERLY moving on. not moving on and feeling shitty and just forcing yourself to get up everyday but still feeling doom and gloom.

like to become a "proper" "functioning" "happy" person simply requires acceptance of whatever situation is pulling your emotions down. am i not right?

as for its only been a month... yeah true. a month isn't long. but like i said, the sooner the people know this info, the sooner they can move on.
they only need to hear it. the decision is still up to them like i said. perhaps some have never even thought of it this way, and they choose to move on 1 month or even 1 week after.
you guys are all defending the ones who need more time...

but what about the ones who don't? suddenly cuz the "stronger willed" ones don't need any advice or support?

there's always two sides. the info just has to be out there. they just have to hear it, what they do with it is up to them.
but AWARENESS of TRUTH is important.

I mean, for someone in despair, but is a logical person, but still emotionally distressed. wouldn't it bring some form of comfort when at night they're tossing and turning in bed, wondering what happened... but rather than just having nothing to calm them, they can at least think of one thing "i can accept it and move on... looking towards a brighter future, the past is the past"

i duno about you guys, but some people will find comfort in that, rather than losing their minds.

but for the ones that WANNA lose their minds and WANNA toss and turn and feel like shit, go ahead. i wont stop them from thinking negative thoughts and pulling themselves down. but if they ever ask for help from the world, the world ain't gonna tell them what they wanna hear.

like hondaracer says, at some point in your life, youre gonna have to accept that the world did not turn out the way you want. or you don't... but our goal here is to remove negative emotions and try to attain satisfaction in life right?
RIGHT?
that IS the point of this discussion right?

and anyone with half a brain would know to maximize and focus on the 99.999% chance, not the 0.001%.

i mean, how many of you go in the the casino and put all your money on one number in roulette and get pissed off when you don't win?
this is the exact same thing.
chances are, you know, it's NOT gonna land on your number. you don't put hope into those things. it'll only drag you down.



anyway, yeah, different strokes for different folks. but if you lead your path and it aint working out, and you still feel like shit, it's probably cuz the path you thought would work, actually doesn't. and like MANY things in life that have to do with emotions... you usually have to do the opposite of what you wanna do. you have to do everything your mind is telling you not to do.

[twitchyzero]

Originally Posted by Hondaracer

It's like those people who were "abused" by an uncle, relative, etc to carrying degrees

Now at 21 their complete life is literally ruined, they're living on the streets and they are a drain on society

At some point you have to get over it
Posted via RS Mobile

everyone takes loss or being dealt a shitty hand in life differently

some will take it as motivation to make the best of what they have or make that terrible experience and convert it to something which will make them stronger

while others will sulk and live miserably for the rest of their lives turning to alcohol and drugs for escape

[underscore]

Originally Posted by twitchyzero

everyone takes loss or being dealt a shitty hand in life differently

some will take it as motivation to make the best of what they have or make that terrible experience and convert it to something which will make them stronger

while others will sulk and live miserably for the rest of their lives turning to alcohol and drugs for escape

The point is that everyone handles things differently. Sweet fucking jesus what a concept.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

Originally Posted by twitchyzero

everyone takes loss or being dealt a shitty hand in life differently

some will take it as motivation to make the best of what they have or make that terrible experience and convert it to something which will make them stronger

while others will sulk and live miserably for the rest of their lives turning to alcohol and drugs for escape

Originally Posted by underscore

The point is that everyone handles things differently. Sweet fucking jesus what a concept.

no it's not a crazy concept.

like twitchy just said.

WHILE OTHERS WILL SULK AND LIVE MISERABLY AND TURN TO DRUGS.

YEAH. so those ppl just have NO hope at all right? cuz they can NEVER let go so they should just be allowed to live their life in their delusional despair to find closure?

FUCK THAT man.

you can FIX them. cognitive behavioural therapy is just one of the many things. lots of shit.

you're telling me the people that can't handle it, should just be left to fucking be miserable cuz their values are so fucked up and skewed and holding them down, but their values are their values therefore they're right?

fuck man.

we're ONLY focusing on the ones that are gonna sulk forever.

everyone else will move on eventually and that's fine. who cares about them. they're GONNA move on now, or later, so its okay. sooner the better.

but the ones who CANT, who REFUSE TO LET GO. those are the ones we are talking about. UNDERSTAND?

[MarkyMark]

Ulic your advice of "just get over it" is just fucking stupid. If they could just get over it they wouldn't be asking for my help would they? They want to know HOW to get over it. When they've tried everything but they still feel like shit, what's your advice then? Anyone can say "just move on with your life", no shit Sherlock who wouldn't do that if they could. It's been mere weeks, you don't just say get over it and wash your hands of it like you gave them some kind of golden advice.
Posted via RS Mobile

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

so it's not okay to say move on when its mere weeks? but it's okay if it's years?

derp derp what?

what difference does the advice make? 1 day, 10 years. the method is the same.

only the choice of words and approach is different. but really, if you read between the lines, the advice is exactly the same.


and it's not just "GET OVER IT"

it's "ACCEPT ALL POSSIBILITIES AND DONT BE ATTACHED TO ANY OUTCOME WHICH YOU CANNOT CHANGE, LIFE CAN ONLY MOVE FORWARD. LOOK FORWARD. THE PAST IS THE PAST"

what you don't see is, they can't get over it because their values are skewed. if they change their value and perception of what happened. they would be able to MOVE ON. UNDERSTAND?

ppl cant move on, until they CHANGE their mentality. which is something you OBVIOUSLY don't understand.

you think you can just keep thinking the same things, and eventually the result changes. NO.

you change your values, and the world will change
you don't change your values, and the world stays the same.

[MarkyMark]

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma

so it's not okay to say move on when its mere weeks? but it's okay if it's years?

derp derp what?

what difference does the advice make? 1 day, 10 years. the method is the same.

only the choice of words and approach is different. but really, if you read between the lines, the advice is exactly the same.

It's not the same. If a guy loses his wife to cancer do you think it's the same if he goes on a date the next day, or decides to wait a year? Same thing right she's dead no point in grieving and mourn the loss, get back on the horse right away you say?
Posted via RS Mobile

[AzNightmare]

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma

we're ONLY focusing on the ones that are gonna sulk forever.

everyone else will move on eventually and that's fine. who cares about them. they're GONNA move on now, or later, so its okay. sooner the better.

but the ones who CANT, who REFUSE TO LET GO. those are the ones we are talking about. UNDERSTAND?

Do you UNDERSTAND that the event happened only about a month ago and that your whole big rant is target on hypothetical people who sulked forever.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

Originally Posted by MarkyMark

It's not the same. If a guy loses his wife to cancer do you think it's the same if he goes on a date the next day, or decides to wait a year? Same thing right she's dead no point in grieving and mourn the loss, get back on the horse right away you say?
Posted via RS Mobile

and for those who go on dates the week after? what's wrong with that?
why is it NOT okay for them to move on that quickly?
what's different about how they handle the situation?
why is it they can move on so much faster?

are they retarded? is there something wrong with them? are they "morally wrong"?

your mind is too set in what is "proper and right" which will ultimately lead you to reality not matching your expectations. and then you getting all pissy cuz it didn't work out exactly like you imagined it to be.

Originally Posted by AzNightmare

Do you UNDERSTAND that the event happened only about a month ago and that your whole big rant is target on hypothetical people who sulked forever.

whats wrong with hypothetical?
isn't this whole thread about hypotheticals?

i would say out of all the hypotheticals in this thread, my hypothetical is the most likely. because for sure there will be people that are gonna be fucked up their whole lives because of this.

all your other hypotheticals have no evidence of support. but my hypothetical is already actuality, the people are sulking and demanding closure while feeling sadness and despair.

your guys's solution is just doing what governments and corporations are doing now. saying shit to make ppl feel better while making you appear caring. saving your own ass. making yourself look good.
the governments and corps only say these things so there's not a bigger uproar in fingers being pointed at them.
in truth, as months and years pass, they'll just stop dedicating resources and throw some money at the victims families.

at the end of the day, theyre (victims families) still gonna have to deal with it. better to have the battle plan now, than later. knowing what to do now, regardless of the timing, is better than knowing later. there is no question or doubt about that.

[underscore]

Shut the fuck up you crazy bastard.

[AzNightmare]

So you're basically saying to not be emotionally attached to anything and anybody, because it's just a waste of time to sulk.

Say if someone's wife just died, it's cool. She did mean the whole world to him, but meh, nothing he could have done about it. He'll just find another girl tomorrow at the club, so it's okay. No point sulking.

And of course, the details of how she died don't matter either. Police called his cell, told him his wife has passed... and he immediately hung up.



She dead, so she dead. I'm good with that. Already over it.

[snails]

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

Originally Posted by AzNightmare

So you're basically saying to not be emotionally attached to anything and anybody, because it's just a waste of time to sulk.

Say if someone's wife just died, it's cool. She did mean the whole world to him, but meh, nothing he could have done about it. He'll just find another girl tomorrow at the club, so it's okay. No point sulking.

And of course, the details of how she died don't matter either. Police called his cell, told him his wife has passed... and he immediately hung up.



She dead, so she dead. I'm good with that. Already over it.

if someone could do that, they would have the strongest willpower and the up most respect from many people.

it just simply means they're a lot stronger than you consider yourself to be.

[MarkyMark]

If you're going on dates the week after your wife dies you either didn't give a shit about her in the first place, or you're trying to trick yourself into thinking you're ok when you're not. Try telling any woman that your wife died last week and ask them on a date, see how that works for ya. They'll look at you like you're fucking insane, and they'd be right.
Posted via RS Mobile

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

and if you get dumped by a gf you loved so much you were gonna marry, and your bros take you out clubbing, and you meet a girl... if you tell her you just got dumped last week, does she look like you're crazy?

what if your feelings just fucking change regardless of whether you want it or not?
you'd probably just go with the flow, and not tell them what happened and see what happens.

ones a death, and ones someone leaving you. but is it not both a person leaving you, and you probably never seeing the again? why would u treat it any differently? (in terms of wanting to get over them). youre not a criminal investigator, youre not out to prosecute or point fingers at anyone.

and as a normal civilian, you have no right to point fingers at anyone demanding things such as closure, from people who are already trying to find the plane, but you're fucking rushing them and pointing fingers at them like it's their god damn fault and that it's their fucking responsibility to find it asap FOR THEM.

do you have some cosmic obligation to have to grieve for those who have died?

perhaps only if you truly believe death is the end all of existence.



just cuz you think it's insane, doesn't mean it's wrong and doesn't mean some people arent capable of this.

the only difference between you and them is you choose to want to grieve and value grieving more than them. and obviously one that values grieving and think's its normal to have to grieve, will ultimately feel more depressed. and isn't being depressed the thing we're trying to GET OUT OF?


“Visākhā, those who have a hundred dear ones have a hundred sufferings. Those who have ninety dear ones have ninety sufferings. Those who have one dear one have one suffering. Those who have no dear ones have no sufferings. They are free from sorrow, free from stain, free from lamentation, I tell you.”

you might not like that, but truth is in that quote.

love, is different from attachment.
you can love, and not be attached.

you can also hate, and be attached.

the whole point of this is attachment.

I don't usually quote buddhists, but it is universally known that they are the masters of emotion and masters of their own destinies. they feel whatever they want to feel, by changing themselves. and that's a lesson that the world can learn.

you don't have to agree with their crazy shit like living in poverty and only eating what is given to you. but there's an aspect of how they deal with shit, which is esoteric. and we can all agree, they know what they're talking about when it comes to this shit. they aint no dumbasses that's for sure.

let's not use buddhists.

any religion. you go to the religious figurehead at your temple/church. they will say the same things.

if you're not religious, and you go to a doctor, they will say the same thing.

so really. who are the ones that think like you? the ones that want to stay depressed. the ones that WANT to feel fucked up.
you cant want to feel fucked up and want to feel better at the same time bro. you will just be in a state of confusion till you pick one. and i can tell you right now dude. thinking you have a duty to grieve, will make you feel fucked up.

[AzNightmare]

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma

if someone could do that, they would have the strongest willpower and the up most respect from many people.

it just simply means they're a lot stronger than you consider yourself to be.

Perhaps being a robot is technically stronger. But I can guarantee you having no emotions will not gain you any respect from "many people".

[Hondaracer]

Maybe my opinion is such because as we were watching the news re: the plane my dad told me that if I ever went missing he'd give it two days then say RIP lol
Posted via RS Mobile

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

i think there is a huge skew in perception of what i want to say.

I am not saying u have to be a cold calculated computer and cut losses now.
but if you demand closure, and they can never find it, you better let go of your quest to seek closure from finding evidence of what happened.

you better find your "closure" from another path. that's all im saying.

and you guys are twisting it to like... "OMGAWD, JUST GIVE THEM CLOSURE"
like some magician can just snap his fucking fingers and turn a trick and TA-DA... we found the airplane!!!

[underscore]

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma

no it's not a crazy concept.

If you can't understand the obvious sarcasm in that post then I don't know what to say to you.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

Originally Posted by AzNightmare

Perhaps being a robot is technically stronger. But I can guarantee you having no emotions will not gain you any respect from "many people".

that's not true.

the guy that cuts losses asap, still had to cut losses. that means he loved before. which means he has emotions.

not saying having NO emotions. saying having CONTROL of emotions. or i should say BETTER CONTROL of emotions. better than what you think is good.


well this thread has truly revealed the people that are emotionally immature... they're not even related to this incident yet they're freaking out about closure. vs those who can keep cool and level headed.

and as for snails, he kept his cool way more than some of you other guys even though he's been through what he said.

all i can say is there's a huge divide between the ones in control of their emotions vs the ones whos emotions control them in this thread.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

Originally Posted by underscore

If you can't understand the obvious sarcasm in that post then I don't know what to say to you.

please address the part where some people will never get over it and turn to depression drugs and other shit for escape. cuz i think you completely missed that part, which is the main argument of this whole thing.

[trd2343]

I'm assuming when people say closure, that means to move on.

I think what Ulic is trying to say is, don't put the responsibility of being able to move on, from any incident, in other people's hands.

Only that person has the power or responsibility to decide when they are ready to move on. If that person requires external force (evidence, prove, etc.), what if those things never show up?

When someone realizes that they may never find out what happened, they will realize the power to move on have or have a closure ultimately have always been in their hands.

You can be sad as long as you want, but don't put the blame on others for not being able to move on.