REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

twitchyzero · 12-14-2016, 07:43 AM

in one Asian culture going to the gentleman's club is actually a norm for the grieving process

it's not uncommon for strippers to be at the funeral, no joke.

thanks for posting...this message is always a good reminder. I'd like to think the new generation tries to better balance work and life...but most of us seem to throw it away at a screen/social media instead.

this is why I value simple movies like Up or About Time...teaches you not to take close ones for granted.

sleepywheel · 12-17-2016, 11:38 PM

I really feel for you MG1. I lost my wife almost three years ago after 30 years of marriage. You are in the exact same boat as I was. She looked after all my finances and without her, I wouldn't be where I am now. I'm having problems with my kids too. It's only now that I am able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. It will be especially hard during the holidays when you see families together.

We don't know each other but anytime you want to talk or go for a coffee, PM me. It always helps to talk to someone.

MG1 · 12-18-2016, 12:24 AM

It's hard sometimes when out of nowhere you just lose it and go into a trance thinking about the whole thing. Just the other night, as I was driving home on Still Creek at Costco. I was at the 4 way stop. This was late at night. I found my self just stopped there, doing nothing. No other cars were around. Finally a car came by and that's when I realized I had been there for quite some time. I was waiting for a light that wasn't there, to turn green.

Yes, the holidays are going to be tough. She always made the turkey. Like all wives/mothers, she fussed over it to make sure it was perfect and all. Things will never be the same, but life goes on. I have a little container that is on a chain with her cremains and a lock of her hair in it. The container is around the neck of a plush polar bear that she hugged while she was in the hospice. The bear sits next to me in bed.

I smile each time I walk into the room when I see it. It helps me get by. One day, I'll have to put it away in storage. I don't know. I have a friend who is going through the same thing. Going on five years. It doesn't get better. There will always be things that remind you of that person. He got himself a dog and it helps him deal with the loss.

I'm allergic to dogs and cats, so the plush bear will have to do, I guess.

westopher · 12-18-2016, 08:50 PM

I'm sorry MG1.
I've always had a lot of respect for you, and felt a connection to your posts, because you are someone who I can tell really gives a shit about people.
As someone who relies so much on my wife, I really can't imagine going through what you have.
I hope every day you can find happiness in the 30 years you spent together, more than you find sadness being apart.

Lomac · 12-18-2016, 10:06 PM

You know we all love you, right MG1? Sure, the only ones here who might offer to put out are OriginalHypa and Fliptuner, but that doesn't mean the rest of us don't care or respect you any less.

Anyway, you know you always have a friend in me and the rest of Revscene. Anytime you want to grab a drink or want to wrench on a random member's car at 2am, feel free to PM me. It's been too long since we've seen one another.

fliptuner · 12-18-2016, 10:12 PM

hotjoint · 12-18-2016, 10:33 PM

Sorry to hear about your loss MG1. I came into this thread because I saw your name and I knew that it would be a quality post. Always good seeing your replies because it's usually about saving money or saying something very wise.

$_$ · 12-18-2016, 11:16 PM

Always thought you were a old white guy for some reason. Sucks to hear about your wife, but you have one of the biggest online Vancouver communities to hang out with any time of the week

MG1 · 12-19-2016, 12:19 AM

I am so overwhelmed by the show of support by everyone on Revscene. The words of encouragement, support, whathaveyou. I am truly humbled. People I never knew existed on Revscene. All the PM's and just the overall feel of community. This is what Revscene is about. I say some pretty dumb things on here and have offended or rubbed many a people the wrong way over the years, I'm sure of that. But............

It's really good to know I have people out there I can count on and that I'm not alone. There are lots of people who have gone through the same thing. Sleepywheel, for example.

I'm hoping this thread will help others who have gone through the loss of a loved one get through it. And, for those who have a loved one, appreciate what they have. Life really is too short.

Again, RS......... thank you. A car forum like no other.