Parental Thread

[supafamous]

We're fortunate - I have a brother and a BIL with kids whom we both get along with (and the kids get along) so we have two options. Updating the will is another thing to do though - my brother has his BIL designated as his kids guardian but that was before I was married and had kids. Now it makes better sense for me to be their guardian as his BIL lives out in Saskatoon and his kids have grown up around me but the will hasn't been updated for it.

In related matters do you have life insurance? I was VERY surprised when my BIL told me he didn't have any (he's got 2 kids). I'm set up so that if I did the mortgage is paid off and my wife doesn't have to work for the next 8-10 years - it's costs me about $1600/yr for that coverage. Paying off the mortgage would seem to be the minimum amount you should be carrying.

[RiceIntegraRS]

I have a life insurance policy, i believe its enough where the mortgage would be paid off. I got it before i had kids. I pay $2400/yr and its a life insurance/investment account type deal. Ive had it for 5 years so i have alil over 11k in it which i could withdraw any time(with fees of course) The beneficiaries are my wife and mom. If i set the beneficiaries to my kids and wife in my will, will that overturn what i had set for my beneficiaries in my Life Insurance policy? I do have a couple bank accounts, and another life insurance policy through the bank aswell. Im abit lazy to contact them all and switch them all up, if a Will would possibly trump all of that.

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by RiceIntegraRS

I have a life insurance policy, i believe its enough where the mortgage would be paid off. I got it before i had kids. I pay $2400/yr and its a life insurance/investment account type deal. Ive had it for 5 years so i have alil over 11k in it which i could withdraw any time(with fees of course) The beneficiaries are my wife and mom. If i set the beneficiaries to my kids and wife in my will, will that overturn what i had set for my beneficiaries in my Life Insurance policy? I do have a couple bank accounts, and another life insurance policy through the bank aswell. Im abit lazy to contact them all and switch them all up, if a Will would possibly trump all of that.

https://www.advisor.ca/advisor-to-cl...beneficiaries/

Wills don't trump designated beneficiaries in cases where they're named so *if* I had a side piece she could get the RRSP instead of my wife and kid if I named it that way in my RRSP.

[EvoFire]

After lots of discussion, we still don't know what to do with custody.

Her parents aren't healthy and my parents are old, after 10 years or so we'll still need to find some one who can take on the responsibility of taking care of our kid.

We have narrowed down our executors though, some one who we trust, who is successful enough in life that they can handle our stuff. Close enough to us that they will do such a thing in case of tragedy, but not SOOOO damn close to us that they will be grieving so hard and not get anything done.

[inv4zn]

Story time!

We forgot to turn on the baby monitor last night, so we didn't hear her wake up this morning. The 'trouble' with this toddler is that she never screams or cries to be let out of bed, it's just 'umma' and 'appa' over and over, which is what wakes us up through the monitor.

Well after about 30 minutes of calling for us she decided she had enough. And proceeded to self-teach herself how to undo her zipper to her pajamas, shimmy out of it entirely, undo her diaper, and then wave it around with all the poo in it.

Poo on the sheets, crib, walls, and small bits in the carpet. And when I walked in she had the biggest smile on her face.

So, pro-tip. Always turn on your baby monitor, and use button clothing for toddlers.

/story

[!Aznboi128]

Is that the type of morning where you see that and walk back to bed and pretend like you're asleep?

[inv4zn]

The range of emotions that flow through you in a split second is indescribable.

On one hand it's funny as hell, on another it's entirely our fault so can't even get mad, and also it smells like shit, but at least it's not on her face/mouth, etc.

Fun times.

[inv4zn]

Unrelated, to anyone with toddlers in the 1.5 to 2 year range (or even older) who need a gentle hand sleep training or sleeping on their own, this clock is a god-send:
https://www.amazon.ca/LittleHippo-Ch...xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==

Essentially it's just a visual clue for kids who don't know "time" yet, and you can set it to whatever times you want. They do need to be able to understand some things though, like relating the clock face to an actual face, and knowing eyes open/closed, etc.

Our kid took about 2 days to grasp that when the clock closes its eyes it's time for bed, and will also stay quietly in bed until the clock opens its eyes in the morning. We've had it for about a month now and she will shoo us out of the room when the clock closes its eyes, and will go to sleep on her own. The wife hates it because the baby doesn't want to be held anymore before bed lol she just wants to be put down in the crib.

It's expensive, yes, but it's an investment that has massively paid off.

[EvoFire]

Originally Posted by inv4zn

Unrelated, to anyone with toddlers in the 1.5 to 2 year range (or even older) who need a gentle hand sleep training or sleeping on their own, this clock is a god-send:
https://www.amazon.ca/LittleHippo-Ch...xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==

Essentially it's just a visual clue for kids who don't know "time" yet, and you can set it to whatever times you want. They do need to be able to understand some things though, like relating the clock face to an actual face, and knowing eyes open/closed, etc.

Our kid took about 2 days to grasp that when the clock closes its eyes it's time for bed, and will also stay quietly in bed until the clock opens its eyes in the morning. We've had it for about a month now and she will shoo us out of the room when the clock closes its eyes, and will go to sleep on her own. The wife hates it because the baby doesn't want to be held anymore before bed lol she just wants to be put down in the crib.

It's expensive, yes, but it's an investment that has massively paid off.

Funny you should post that as we just got something very similar last week. With ours, when it's time to wake up it turns into a yellow sun, and a blue star when it's sleep time.

Took us two days to train our son to use it. He would yell yellow at us to tell us it's time to wake up and pick him up from the crib.
Then yesterday during nap time, my mom was making a ton of noise and woke him up shortly after he fell asleep. He managed to grab a hold of the clock and was playing with it cause he learned that he wasn't supposed to be calling. He kept saying yellow at the clock hoping it would light up until he eventually fell asleep holding it.

I felt horrible leaving him in the crib with the clock because it became his jail but he had to get at least an hour of nap time in otherwise we would have a shit time at dinner.

[!Aznboi128]

Hey parents, new CPST tech here. If you would like I can swing by check your seat install and potentially give you some tips to ensure everything is safe.

[EvoFire]

CPST stands for Child Passenger Safety Tech?

I would be interested if my seats are installed correctly.

[!Aznboi128]

Correct, Child Passenger Safety Technician awarded by The Child Passenger Safety Association of Canada.

long name

But yea, Happy to help parents of RS.

[inv4zn]

That's awesome, where were you a year ago haha.

We paid (ie. donated) to have a CPST go over our infant seat as well as our convertible, and both times were well worth the price/time.

The only thing (and maybe a tip for you aznboi) is that with our convertible seat (Nuna Rava) the tech missed that in Canada, the leg extension MUST be extended in rear facing whereas the US one is optional. So just keeping on top of the huge amount of variables and seats in circulation is going to be challenging.

But kudos for doing this, even seeing with our friends/acquaintances, the number of people who just assume everything is hunky dory is pretty alarming.

[320icar]

So my boy is 18mo, pretty darn smart but still not vocal (but know exactly what you’re saying which is cool).

At what age do children start learning to be scolded? Not sure how to explain it. But when he does something like chew the corners of his books, if you try and tell him no, he just smiles or laughs, like he enjoys getting the reaction out of you. Should they just be taken Away?

I’ve avoided removing the books all together because he LOVES choosing books, sitting in your lap and being read to, which is a great thing and I don’t want him to stop that

[inv4zn]

Originally Posted by 320icar

So my boy is 18mo, pretty darn smart but still not vocal (but know exactly what you’re saying which is cool).

At what age do children start learning to be scolded? Not sure how to explain it. But when he does something like chew the corners of his books, if you try and tell him no, he just smiles or laughs, like he enjoys getting the reaction out of you. Should they just be taken Away?

I’ve avoided removing the books all together because he LOVES choosing books, sitting in your lap and being read to, which is a great thing and I don’t want him to stop that

So ours is 19m, and "scolding" doesn't really work/help, for the reasons you said. It's like they understand what you're saying but don't really care, which is super frustrating to an adult but for the kid I guess it's entirely reasonable.

What we found works a lot better is to make the issue at hand something they can relate to. If you get mad when he chews books he doesn't know why. But if you sit him down and tell him the book has an owie when he bites it, and that the book will be sad, just like he was sad when he fell or something, it might help. But sometimes they'll do it just to piss you off also haha.

[EvoFire]

Originally Posted by 320icar

So my boy is 18mo, pretty darn smart but still not vocal (but know exactly what you’re saying which is cool).

At what age do children start learning to be scolded? Not sure how to explain it. But when he does something like chew the corners of his books, if you try and tell him no, he just smiles or laughs, like he enjoys getting the reaction out of you. Should they just be taken Away?

I’ve avoided removing the books all together because he LOVES choosing books, sitting in your lap and being read to, which is a great thing and I don’t want him to stop that

We find that ours at 23m just started to understand scolding and he cried a few times because of it.

He handles it much better now and pauses whatever he's doing. Doesn't seem to work everytime to get him to stop completely.

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by inv4zn

So ours is 19m, and "scolding" doesn't really work/help, for the reasons you said. It's like they understand what you're saying but don't really care, which is super frustrating to an adult but for the kid I guess it's entirely reasonable.

What we found works a lot better is to make the issue at hand something they can relate to. If you get mad when he chews books he doesn't know why. But if you sit him down and tell him the book has an owie when he bites it, and that the book will be sad, just like he was sad when he fell or something, it might help. But sometimes they'll do it just to piss you off also haha.

That's what my wife does this as well for our 30 month old and it works fairly well even going back to when she was 18 months or so.

At my daughter's current age I'm finding a fair bit of success doing the "You can do it yourself or daddy's going to count to 3 and make you do it.". She realizes that I do mean business when I hit and generally complies with my request (stuff like coming to dinner or doing bath time. This doesn't work for my wife as she doesn't do well with holding the line on things - I will let my kid cry it out so she knows it doesn't really get her anywhere.

Scolding doesn't really work well in our case at any age from my experience - it seems to only address the issue of the day but doesn't lead to better behaviour.

[Eff-1]

We just passed the first trimester. Still in shock lol.

We're starting the long process of buying all the gear.

I'm sure people here have done endless research. Tell me everything haha.

[SSM_DC5]

^congratulations!

[320icar]

Originally Posted by Eff-1

We just passed the first trimester. Still in shock lol.

We're starting the long process of buying all the gear.

I'm sure people here have done endless research. Tell me everything haha.

Biggest tip of all: FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE and buy for pennies on the dollar

[Traum]

Originally Posted by Eff-1

We just passed the first trimester. Still in shock lol.

We're starting the long process of buying all the gear.

I'm sure people here have done endless research. Tell me everything haha.

Over time, I have bought a ton of stuff from TJ's Kiddies Store on Marine, including most of the big ticket items. I have found their inventory, prices, and staff knowledge to be generally pretty good, but I know others have had less satisfying experience though.

Try different brands of diapers -- at least Pampers and Huggies. For the same model and size, the 2 brands actually differ by 1/2 a size, but I have forgotten which one is the smaller one by now. This discovery was a godsend when moving up 1 size with the same brand meant things got leaky. We went up by that 1/2 size each time through switching brands, and it worked out really well for us.

Ignore what the nurses tell you about breast feeding because they are all hellbent on convincing you that's the only viable and right thing to do. But you know what? Not every mom can produce enough breast milk, no matter how hard she tries. Adding stress to a sleep-deprived new mother is NEVER a good thing. And those ready-to-drink baby formula is also a godsend, at least in the first few months, even if they are like 2x as expensive as the powdered form.

Congrats!

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by 320icar

Biggest tip of all: FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE and buy for pennies on the dollar

This. Unless you've got lots of money you'll do just fine buying used stuff for your kid including car seats and strollers. For one thing you may not like how well something works once you start using it - what seems like a tolerable feature will soon turn to major annoyance once you're a tired parent.

There are tonnes of review sites out there for baby gear and they have many differing opinions - so much so that you'll get into analysis by paralysis if you read them all. I ended up just focusing on whatever Wirecutter suggested and it worked out fine.

[underscore]

Originally Posted by 320icar

Biggest tip of all: FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE and buy for pennies on the dollar

People are usually keen to get rid of more kids stuff too. I went to buy a crib and came home with the conversion rails, not-falling-out-of-bed thing, and a highchair all for free. Especially if you see the pins on the map in a fancier neighbourhood, half the time it's high end stuff they used once or twice and didn't like.

Originally Posted by Traum

Try different brands of diapers -- at least Pampers and Huggies. For the same model and size, the 2 brands actually differ by 1/2 a size, but I have forgotten which one is the smaller one by now.

Even the different "models" from each brand fit differently. Both of my kids have worn staggered sizes for nighttime vs daytime Pampers ie size 2 Baby Dry at night, size 3 Cruisers during the day. Or something like that, I can't remember the names offhand, I just slap them on her lol.

[320icar]

Originally Posted by Traum

Ignore what the nurses tell you about breast feeding because they are all hellbent on convincing you that's the only viable and right thing to do. But you know what? Not every mom can produce enough breast milk, no matter how hard she tries. Adding stress to a sleep-deprived new mother is NEVER a good thing. And those ready-to-drink baby formula is also a godsend, at least in the first few months, even if they are like 2x as expensive as the powdered form.

Congrats!

This is also a great point. My wife is healthy and well endowed, but at the beginning since this was our first child she was having difficulty producing. After a few months it was great but like Traum said, as a dad you’ll feel kind of helpless since the burden of effort really falls onto the mother.

We used to split breastfeed/bottles and the liquid formula (which used the same nipple size as the snappies). Helpful for a dad too when mom says “no, I’m skipping this pump and going to fucking sleep” lol, you can say “no problem momma I’ll feed with the formula”.

Breast is best, but don’t feel bad for supplementing with liquid formula when necessary

[!Aznboi128]

Facebook Market place is great, family hand-me downs are also great.

You prob don't need to by from West coast kids their stuff is pretty expensive.

Buy what you need not what you want.