Parental Thread

[Eff-1]

Yeah that's a good point. We live in a condo and taking out the trash is an ordeal. The only trash can we have is the bin under the sink.

[inv4zn]

For registries, we went with BBB....for these reasons:
1. The store is massive in comparison, hands down the most selection. They don't have some of the 'niche'/'higher end' stuff the other independents do, but for an infant you don't need any of those. They also carry more variety per category - ie. they'll have 8 different baby monitor products while the others may only have 3, etc.
2. Because they're big box, they're more lenient with returns, shipping, etc.
3. Their "completion discount" was the best.
4. It's cool walking around the store with a price gun, plus they give you a little gift for starting a registry.

We bought our stroller/carseats as well as some feeding stuff at WCK, but it's always slightly more expensive, and the Richmond location has the worst parking setup ever (Main St. isn't much better). TJ Kiddies is our second favourite, with snugglebugz being equal to WCK.

For diaper genie, we loved it, until she started having really smelly shits. She started solids around 6m, but now she's almost 2 and eating pretty much what we eat (minus strong seasonings, etc.) and her poos are terrible. I change those baking soda packets every 2 weeks and we have another odor absorber at the bottom but you can still smell it every time you open it to empty it. Mind you we only go through like 3 or 4 diapers a day because she's in daycare.

That being said, during the newborn stage and first year, you go through a TON of diapers, and for the convenience factor alone you should get one. My cousin got the fancier metal one that takes regular bags but I still prefer the diaper genie; the refills go on sale at Costco about twice a year (we bought 8 packs when it was on sale), or you can get knockoffs for really cheap on Amazon.

tl;dr - the diaper genie loses its benefits as the shits get worse, but still 100% recommend.

[RiceIntegraRS]

My wife went with 2 Ubbis 1 for upstairs and downstairs which uses regular bags. Cause in the long run, its cheaper than the diaper genie. Not gonna lie it does smell when the kids start solids, but before replacing the bag i would light a match inside and it would burn off all the poop smell in it and suprisingly it would help alot. Much better than the baking soda i used before.


I actually got a question for u guys. Did anyone do the cry it out method for there babies? The moms seem to be for it but for me i cant deal with it, i think its way too harsh

[Traum]

Originally Posted by RiceIntegraRS

I actually got a question for u guys. Did anyone do the cry it out method for there babies? The moms seem to be for it but for me i cant deal with it, i think its way too harsh

IMO, letting the baby cry it out is too traumatizing for both the parents and the kid. IMO, every parent-baby have their own communication cues, and as a parent, you'd tend to pick up those cues from the baby relatively quickly if you are keen on paying attention to them. So a lot of time, you'd at least have a vague idea of what the baby's crying is trying to tell you.

At a minimum, there is:

- a hungry cry
- an I peed / pooped cry
- an I am uncomfortable cry
- an I am tired cry
- an I am sad cry
- an I am throwing a tantrum cry
- an I am sick cry
- an I want to be carried / held cry

With the sad / tantrum cry, after we have more or less confirmed that this is, one of us would still at least hold him in my/her arms to let him know that Baba Mama are there for him. My wife did her own thing to try and soothe the baby -- I don't remember what she did anymore. I tend to walk around while carrying him, and may or may not talk to him in a soft voice. When he feels supported / secure, he'll quiet down. I may not be able to stop walking, and I may not be able to put him back down in bed. But you'll figure out what you can / cannot do LOL~

If it is the I am sick cry and Tylenol / Advil isn't bringing the temperature down, you pack your things and go to Children's.

[underscore]

When someones mat/parental leave ends their employer is required to have the employee come back to their job, or a similar one, or if those don't exist then they can be terminated with compensation. I can find a bunch of info on the amount of leave time that is allowed, however I can't find anything that states how long the employer has after the leave ends to decide whether they've got a position or are going to terminate the employee. Have any of you guys dealt with an employer dragging their feet with this?

[inv4zn]

Originally Posted by RiceIntegraRS

My wife went with 2 Ubbis 1 for upstairs and downstairs which uses regular bags. Cause in the long run, its cheaper than the diaper genie. Not gonna lie it does smell when the kids start solids, but before replacing the bag i would light a match inside and it would burn off all the poop smell in it and suprisingly it would help alot. Much better than the baking soda i used before.


I actually got a question for u guys. Did anyone do the cry it out method for there babies? The moms seem to be for it but for me i cant deal with it, i think its way too harsh

How old are we talking? There's a hybrid method out there, where you go in the room with increasing intervals. Ie. Let cry for 10 minutes, go in and soothe, come out, let cry dor 20 minutes, etc. We did this and it took about a week when she was 7 months old to sleep on her own.

She's almost 2 now and recently has been crying before sleeping but we let her cry it out because it's literally just for attention.

[RiceIntegraRS]

my daughter is 5 months, she was an extremely good sleeper but she got sick, started to teeth and she out grew her bassinet so my wife decided to move her to her crib in a new room and her sleep got worse. i said it was too much change for her and that she just wanted to be in the same room as us, so i put it to the test, she slept in the same room as me while my wife slept in a different room and she slept thru the night both times but my wife decided that Cry it out method is the way to go which is what im against cause cry it out did not work with my son. My daughter went from sleeping 16-17hrs a day to sleeping just over 12.

Oh for new parents or expecting parents, having kids really puts a strain on the relationship, especially when u dont agree on parenting styles.

[inv4zn]

^Kids change, you have to remember this - just because they don't sleep as well as 3 weeks ago doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. They could be teething, wonder week, anything else - you literally have to take it day by day. When it aligns with changes you make you might think oh no I've done something wrong, but don't think that, there's no way to tell anyway.

Another thing to note, and I've said this before, a lot of the times it's just easier for the dad to do what mom wants. Obviously everyone wants what's best (or what they think is best), and when you're faced with situations with no real right answer, take the route of least resistance. Also the mom put in the brunt of the effort during pregnancy and birth, they should get a bit of a free pass (obviously be reasonable, if she doesn't want vaccines for the kid for example, or wants to feed the baby probiotics at 5 months, then fight like hell over that.)

Fighting with your wife over things that in the big picture don't really matter does more harm than good. Talk it out, and if you do differ on opinion, find reputable sources (print books are best) and suggest you try things a certain way. Trying to cram something down each other's throats when you're both tired AF and also clueless won't work.

You want a healthy child, to grow up in a healthy family. That should be the end goal. Nothing you, or your wife do or don't do is going to have meaningful impact on who they are as a human being this early on in their life, your goal should be to let the child know s/he has two parents who love him/her unconditionally. Kids, even that young, pick up on cues that mom and dad are fighting all the time, and shit like THAT does last with the kid.

But yes, if this was easy, then everyone would do it haha. Good luck.

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by RiceIntegraRS

My wife went with 2 Ubbis 1 for upstairs and downstairs which uses regular bags. Cause in the long run, its cheaper than the diaper genie. Not gonna lie it does smell when the kids start solids, but before replacing the bag i would light a match inside and it would burn off all the poop smell in it and suprisingly it would help alot. Much better than the baking soda i used before.


I actually got a question for u guys. Did anyone do the cry it out method for there babies? The moms seem to be for it but for me i cant deal with it, i think its way too harsh

We did cry it out for both of our kids.

They're 6 and 4 now. No long-term impacts, so it worked out for us. However, I realize that it's not for everyone as they have different sleeping arrangements and personal tolerances to crying.

[winson604]

Originally Posted by !Aznboi128

Try TJ kiddies, they're on Marine Dr. Good selection, good staff.

I've haven't had any issues with WCK myself but have heard some can be hard to deal with.

Diaper Genie, it's good enough refills aren't too expensive and it's a convenient way to get rid of diapers. If you're less lazy and just empty the trash every day, it can work but you're tired and last thing you want to do is empty the trash.

There are alternatives, some trash cans have a decent seal on the top and can work like a diaper genie. Just put a box of baking soda to absorb.

Before I had my first kid almost 8 years ago not knowing what I know now I was thinking diaper genie, wtf is this scam I'll just throw it in the regular trash and dump it daily. Well I forgot how we ended up getting a genie right off the bat and man I tell you the other method would not have worked lol. First of we were way too tired to be throwing trash daily, even though we lived in a house and it was easy no way it would have happened. Second of all unless we had a small ass trash can that would fill up daily it wouldn't work anyway. If we threw it in our regular trash it'll be sitting in there for 2, 3, or even 4 days. The can is going to stink badly, no thanks. Almost 8 years, 2 kids diapers in the thousand + and our genie has held up. I've heard some people complain that it smells but I've never had any issue with being able to smell the pee and or poo when the genie is closed and this is without ever using the baking power packs either. Sure when you open it to change it you might catch a wiff though but that's a given.

As for registry personally I like TJ Kiddies the most. DUring my time the 3 main places were West Coast, TJ, and Lusso since I live in Van. Well Lusso has gone under and while West Coast has some additional nicer/cooler/hipper items I've found the customer service has been a mixed bag. It probably isn't the case anymore but when we had our first kid the line we heard the most was oh we're out of stock. I swear they would say it on every 2nd or 3rd item we wanted to buy. Also the store both Richmond and Vancouver kind of just sucks in terms of parking and loading.

TK Kiddies has great parking (dedicated lot) so it makes lugging big items out really easy. For 90% of the stuff you're going to buy anyone of the stores will probably have it anyway so pick whatever is the most convenient for you. Also don't forget Baby's R Us, it can be a good option as well. Again for most of the regular stuff you might put on there most stores will carry it.

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by Eff-1

Sorry another question that just came up. Is Diaper Genie any good? Or are there better options?

I use an Ubbi and it's quite good - can't compare to the Genie but its metal construction is supposed to mean less odor (which seems true). A diaper pail is pretty useful - I know some people just use their garbage can but the smells add up.

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by RiceIntegraRS

I actually got a question for u guys. Did anyone do the cry it out method for there babies? The moms seem to be for it but for me i cant deal with it, i think its way too harsh

If you're talking about sleep training then yes we did that. We tried 3 times - first 2 we tried to do it on our own with no help (just reading a book) and it failed miserably. The 3rd time we hired a coach to help through it and it worked in 3 days. The first night was miserable - she cried for a good 3 hours (we checked in regularly) before she fell asleep but after that it went pretty smoothly and we had a good 6-9 months of steady sleep in our house (we're now co-sleeping)

Looking back if we had just hired someone in the first place it would have been so much easier for us and we would have gotten so much more sleep.

We used Amanda at Mama Coach and really liked her. https://themamacoach.com/coaches/amanda-archibald/

[inv4zn]

So the terrible two's have started at around 22 months for us. It's even more annoying than I expected.

Last night she slammed her cup on the dining table because I wouldn't give her something that was clearly spicy, and milk went everywhere. So I took the cup away, sternly looked at her and told her why she shouldn't do that, and she proceeded to look me in the eye as she smeared the milk with her hand.

So now I'm mad, I pull her away from the table, and in a raised voice I point to the milk and in frustration say smth like "wtf is this!!" (without swearing), and without missing a beat she yells back at me "ITS MILK!!".

So I burst out laughing, the wife is rolling her eyes at the whole thing, and the baby learned absolutely nothing. FML.

[!Aznboi128]

[TypeRNammer]

Originally Posted by inv4zn

So the terrible two's have started at around 22 months for us. It's even more annoying than I expected.

I remember having to go through terrible two's twice

Now it's sibling rivalry

[EvoFire]

Originally Posted by inv4zn

So the terrible two's have started at around 22 months for us. It's even more annoying than I expected.

Last night she slammed her cup on the dining table because I wouldn't give her something that was clearly spicy, and milk went everywhere. So I took the cup away, sternly looked at her and told her why she shouldn't do that, and she proceeded to look me in the eye as she smeared the milk with her hand.

So now I'm mad, I pull her away from the table, and in a raised voice I point to the milk and in frustration say smth like "wtf is this!!" (without swearing), and without missing a beat she yells back at me "ITS MILK!!".

So I burst out laughing, the wife is rolling her eyes at the whole thing, and the baby learned absolutely nothing. FML.

That your 22 month old comprehends and can yell back "ITS MILK!!!" is actually pretty damn good.

[inv4zn]

Originally Posted by EvoFire

That your 22 month old comprehends and can yell back "ITS MILK!!!" is actually pretty damn good.

She started actual words around 15 months (almost 10 words), and would answer basic open-ended questions (ie. what do you want for dinner? Pasta) around 17 months.

She's definitely fast on the speaking thing, but it's both a gift and a curse. It's nice because we can communicate well, etc., but she also says the meanest things with intricate grammar.

Like she'd be singing a song in the car, and would get a word wrong, and my wife would sing it correctly. And she'd be like "mommy don't help, I can do it. Don't do ANYTHING." So then I'd be like 'hey, don't say things like that to your mom, you're making her sad' and she'd answer "mommy's not sad, i love her very much!"

She also started using English words she learns at daycare with Korean we speak at home...I try to keep them separate, but it's impossible to keep the two languages completely segregated.

[Euro7r]

After I get married this year. We plan to have kids, I would think going to family doctor and getting body check prior would be a good idea? Just to make sure both adults are fully healthy, and that we don't get blind sided with some unknown health issues that could be passed down to our children.

I would assume this is the most logical and safest approach. The one thing I don't want is to have kids with health issues, whereby we could have done something about it first.

Does anyone have advice in this area I should be aware of or what I should/should not be doing?

[CivicBlues]

^That's some Gattaca level shit.

No legit doctor in Canada is going to give you and your spouse a Eugenics Physical.

[Euro7r]

Originally Posted by CivicBlues

^That's some Gattaca level shit.

No legit doctor in Canada is going to give you and your spouse a Eugenics Physical.

No, I'm not saying I am looking for checkup for every inch of all my organs, muscle, nerves. There's no absolute 100% in life, which I know. But it doesn't mean I don't do my homework still.

I'm physically healthy but literally could actually have diabetes and I wouldn't even know. There are a lot of healthy looking people that don't look like they have any health issues but they underlying actually do or don't know they do.

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by Euro7r

After I get married this year. We plan to have kids, I would think going to family doctor and getting body check prior would be a good idea? Just to make sure both adults are fully healthy, and that we don't get blind sided with some unknown health issues that could be passed down to our children.

I would assume this is the most logical and safest approach. The one thing I don't want is to have kids with health issues, whereby we could have done something about it first.

Does anyone have advice in this area I should be aware of or what I should/should not be doing?

I suspect most of the really bad medical conditions that you could pass to your kids are already known to you either because you have it or because your immediate family has it. This includes stuff like difficulty conceiving or stuff like gestational diabetes. It's possible that neither of you are aware but I think you could probably find out with a DNA test.

The other types of risky conditions that your kids might be born with are a bit random though they might be at increased risk of them - eg. you're older so genetic defects are more likely. There's not much you can test for here until you've conceived. This is worth a conversation with your doctor to learn more if you like (or Google it).

Some of the more interesting stuff to learn about are things like how often miscarriages happen and what to do when they do happen (been there twice, not on my list of things I'd recommend people try). Or things related to the process of conceiving (it's more than just sticking it).

[xxxrsxxx]

Did you get your kids a strider (balance bike) and if so, what age did you start?

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by xxxrsxxx

Did you get your kids a strider (balance bike) and if so, what age did you start?

We got my daughter one when she was about 29 months (end of summer) and we kinda missed the window to get her outside with that. She's been wheeling it around a bit inside the house and looks like now (34 months) that she may be coordinated enough to go outside with it (still needs a helmet though). She's a shrimpy one though so she barely fit on even the smallest balance bike so the bike is, overall, big for her.

[underscore]

We got my oldest daughter one about a year ago when she was around 33 months. We went with a Strider 12 Sport since it was the lightest of all the balance bikes so we figured it'd be easier for her to control. She picked it up really fast and tears around all over the place on it.

Now we've got the seat and handle bars set pretty high (they're adjustable) so we'll be getting her to try out a pedal bike soon.

[xxxrsxxx]

thanks for your replies, haha guess 15 months is too early then