REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

Eff-1 · 08-22-2023, 09:10 AM

Had our first kid at 42 (me) and 38 (my wife).

I agree with pretty much everything said above me.

When I'm at the playground and see other dads, I can't help but feel old.

On the positive side, our HHI is much higher now than in our 30s so that makes things easier for obvious reasons.

underscore · 08-22-2023, 02:22 PM

I had my first kid at 29 and I feel young when I meet other parents with kids the same age. Maybe they're just adultier adults so they seem older than me.

EvoFire · 08-23-2023, 08:28 AM

We had our first at 32, and the 2nd one at 35. I had thought we were old but at the daycare we are at right now most parents actually seem older than us. In the area we are living in (Fraserview) most parents who are at the playgrounds seem older as well. When we were living in Burnaby the demographics of parents seemed to be younger. My wife commented that it's harder to met mommies around here because there's less of them (Fraserview just isn't as dense) and they don't match up well.

Most of my friends are having kids around this age, whereas my wife's friends there were 3 that were younger, otherwise roughly the same as well.

When I do daycare dropoff or pickup, maybe because I am in tech and I dress a little more casual, but I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb sometimes. Dads showing up wearing suits or in work clothes, mom's in scrubs or semi business outfits. Here I am in a hat (cause my hair looks like shit) and shorts, and rumbling into the parking circle with my M3.....

I thought a little bit more about this. With the 1st kid we weren't ready for a long time, but my wife felt the clock was ticking and we didn't want to be any older. Our conclusion with having kids is you'll never be ready, you'll just have to make do with compromises. We did have one miscarriage and that was hard on my wife mentally.
With our second kid, we had a small window of time to do it as the townhouse we were in didn't have enough space, so we didn't try until we bought and moved into the current house. We also didn't want to have a kid past 36, and the gap between the two kids to be more than 4 years, so it gave us a small window to try. We did end up getting pregnant and now we have two.

Traum · 08-23-2023, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by supafamous

OTOH, I have the both the wisdom and money that I didn't have when I was younger - I can often spend my way out of things and I'm much more emotionally stable than I was in my younger days.

I am having a really good chuckle at reading this comment here because even though the bolded comments rings 1000% true for me, I still think I am far too temperamental (now). There are just certain things that I have very little patience for, and naturally my kid just has to have the habit of pushing those boundaries of mine all the time LOL~

I didn't have my first kid until my late 30's -- IMO, it would have been better if I could do it in my mid 30's, but it just didn't happen.

What's funny is -- most of my female friends from highschool and ugrad started popping kids out in their late 20's to early 30's, but most of my guy friends (from HS and ugrad) didn't become dads until their mid to late 30's. The girls generally also got married earlier.

Tapioca · 08-23-2023, 01:26 PM

There are people having kids in their 40s in my extended network whom I thought would never have kids. It's been interesting to see, at the very least.

It would be nice to see more suits around our neighbourhood since that's what we are. It's full of stay at home parents driving late model SUVs.

I decided to join our PAC in an executive capacity for the upcoming school year. I'm the only father on the PAC - wish me luck!

EvoFire · 08-23-2023, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Traum

I am having a really good chuckle at reading this comment here because even though the bolded comments rings 1000% true for me, I still think I am far too temperamental (now). There are just certain things that I have very little patience for, and naturally my kid just has to have the habit of pushing those boundaries of mine all the time LOL~

I didn't have my first kid until my late 30's -- IMO, it would have been better if I could do it in my mid 30's, but it just didn't happen.

What's funny is -- most of my female friends from highschool and ugrad started popping kids out in their late 20's to early 30's, but most of my guy friends (from HS and ugrad) didn't become dads until their mid to late 30's. The girls generally also got married earlier.

I find typically the girl is the younger one in a couple, for a myriad of reasons, so girls having kids in late 20/early 30 isn't that different than guys becoming dads in their mid 30s.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tapioca

There are people having kids in their 40s in my extended network whom I thought would never have kids. It's been interesting to see, at the very least.

It would be nice to see more suits around our neighbourhood since that's what we are. It's full of stay at home parents driving late model SUVs.

I decided to join our PAC in an executive capacity for the upcoming school year. I'm the only father on the PAC - wish me luck!

Which area are you in? My wife has gotten to know some of the parents at the daycare and they don't all live in the area, and Fraserview is a bit odd in that there are lot of parents who don't look or act like they need to work.

Generational wealth is pretty common in this area I guess, though there's more and more successful young-ish couples moving in, also tons of rentals.

vash13 · 08-23-2023, 05:00 PM

Anybody have any experience with Kids and Company childcare?

winson604 · 08-23-2023, 10:48 PM

Been living in Fraserview for 5 years and my biggest surprise is the number of non typical CBCs there are. I wasn't unfamiliar with the area growing up (I'm 40 now) as I grew up in the Langara area, my uncle and grandma lived in Fraserview, and in HS I knew quite a few people who went to David Thompson and I've always seen lots of CBCs but when my kid starting going to Elementary school in our catchment here a few years ago a lot of the parents while Chinese are of the non westernized variety. Lots of them speak that weird Canto or like tao shan. Either way been pretty happy with the area as it's hella central to where we need to go (Van, Downtown, Burnaby, and Richmond)

Tapioca · 08-24-2023, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvoFire

Which area are you in? My wife has gotten to know some of the parents at the daycare and they don't all live in the area, and Fraserview is a bit odd in that there are lot of parents who don't look or act like they need to work.

Generational wealth is pretty common in this area I guess, though there's more and more successful young-ish couples moving in, also tons of rentals.

Far away, up in Westwood Plateau. It's the forgotten neighbourhood among upper middle class millennials who seem to prefer Burke Mountain, but lots of house for your money if you don't mind older housing stock.

Traum · 08-24-2023, 09:23 AM

I've almost always lived in Fraserview, and I'd say that esp in the last 2 years, there has been a very noticeable uptick of people originating from Hong Kong settling down in the Fraserview area. You hear a lot more Cantonese being spoken at grocery stores, restaurants, and esp at schools. Without a doubt, this has to do with new Hong Konger immigrants coming and old returnees coming back to Canada as Hong Kong's political situation rapidly deteriorates.

Quote:

Originally Posted by winson604

Been living in Fraserview for 5 years and my biggest surprise is the number of non typical CBCs there are. I wasn't unfamiliar with the area growing up (I'm 40 now) as I grew up in the Langara area, my uncle and grandma lived in Fraserview, and in HS I knew quite a few people who went to David Thompson and I've always seen lots of CBCs but when my kid starting going to Elementary school in our catchment here a few years ago a lot of the parents while Chinese are of the non westernized variety. Lots of them speak that weird Canto or like tao shan. Either way been pretty happy with the area as it's hella central to where we need to go (Van, Downtown, Burnaby, and Richmond)

Gerbs · 08-24-2023, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winson604

in HS I knew quite a few people who went to David Thompson and I've always seen lots of CBCs but when my kid starting going to Elementary school in our catchment here a few years ago a lot of the parents while Chinese are of the non westernized variety. Lots of them speak that weird Canto or like tao shan. Either way been pretty happy with the area as it's hella central to where we need to go (Van, Downtown, Burnaby, and Richmond)

Can confirm that half of the people that went to DT speaks the glorious tao shan.

CivicBlues · 08-24-2023, 01:56 PM

Toisan (Taishan)

Gerbs · 08-24-2023, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CivicBlues

Toisan (Taishan)

ewwwwwwwwwwww neck kuh mahhhhh gah hai

supafamous · 08-24-2023, 06:02 PM

So a couple months ago I asked about bouncy castles here and so I ended up getting one. I can report back that it's been money well spent (it was $420 on Amazon) as we've used it 6 times in about a month and it hasn't gotten boring yet. Setup and teardown has been a lot easier than I expected - about 5 mins to get it up and running and about 10-15 mins to pack it up (need to wait for it to deflate). Having kids over has never been easier.

I found the sweet spot for features/price was around $400-450 - beyond that you're just getting stuff that's has princesses or knights on it (or similar) and below that and you're missing some useful features (slides not big enough, no climbing wall, no obstacle course type things).

I figure if I can get 20-25 uses out of it in the next 2 years it'll be worth it (rentals cost $250-450 a pop).

SSM_DC5 · 08-24-2023, 06:24 PM

RS meat at your place!

EvoFire · 08-25-2023, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by supafamous

So a couple months ago I asked about bouncy castles here and so I ended up getting one. I can report back that it's been money well spent (it was $420 on Amazon) as we've used it 6 times in about a month and it hasn't gotten boring yet. Setup and teardown has been a lot easier than I expected - about 5 mins to get it up and running and about 10-15 mins to pack it up (need to wait for it to deflate). Having kids over has never been easier.

I found the sweet spot for features/price was around $400-450 - beyond that you're just getting stuff that's has princesses or knights on it (or similar) and below that and you're missing some useful features (slides not big enough, no climbing wall, no obstacle course type things).

I figure if I can get 20-25 uses out of it in the next 2 years it'll be worth it (rentals cost $250-450 a pop).

I'm bringing my kids over

Gumby · 08-27-2023, 02:03 PM

I don't think that will fit on my 33' wide lot

supafamous · 08-27-2023, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gumby

I don't think that will fit on my 33' wide lot

My lot is only 30' wide so it'll work. It looks bigger than it is - it measures 16'x8' and stands about 7' tall.

TypeRNammer · 08-28-2023, 12:06 AM

Had to dig this up, this was our bouncy castle with a water slide we had from a couple years back.

It was awesome during the summer time, we bought it brand new for about $500 ish dollars, after many uses during the one summer, we sold it for the same price.

supafamous · 08-28-2023, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TypeRNammer

Had to dig this up, this was our bouncy castle with a water slide we had from a couple years back.

It was awesome during the summer time, we bought it brand new for about $500 ish dollars, after many uses during the one summer, we sold it for the same price.

How did you find it with the pool? I stayed away from it cause I didn't want to wait for it to dry before packing it away.

TypeRNammer · 08-28-2023, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by supafamous

How did you find it with the pool? I stayed away from it cause I didn't want to wait for it to dry before packing it away.

Pool was great over all, totally helps on the hot summer days.

Biggest downsize is waiting for everything to dry before packing it up. But it leaves ever lasting memories with the kids enjoying it.

Eff-1 · 08-28-2023, 01:52 PM

My wife has been off work for 18 months and goes back f/t next week. Our 16 month old goes into daycare full time also next week. He's been going 1 day per week since July to get used to it.

Big transition into new routines for everyone coming up next week in the Eff-1 household.

Our biggest challenge will be getting into the routine of daycare drop-offs and pickups before and after work. We only have one car. Our daycare is kind of out-of-the-way from our home and workplaces. And our son loves to sleep in. So I don't think anybody, including baby, is looking fwd to that.

vash13 · 08-28-2023, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eff-1

My wife has been off work for 18 months and goes back f/t next week. Our 16 month old goes into daycare full time also next week. He's been going 1 day per week since July to get used to it.

Big transition into new routines for everyone coming up next week in the Eff-1 household.

Our biggest challenge will be getting into the routine of daycare drop-offs and pickups before and after work. We only have one car. Our daycare is kind of out-of-the-way from our home and workplaces. And our son loves to sleep in. So I don't think anybody, including baby, is looking fwd to that.

Which daycare did you manage to get into?
Best thing to do is start getting the kid to transition to an earlier sleep time. Baby is going to be quite over stimulated with the daycare and hoepfully makes that transition easier.

Eff-1 · 08-28-2023, 08:57 PM

We found a spot at a home-based licensed daycare in North Van. One lady runs it, she keeps it to 5 or 6 kids max. Provides food too. All is great, except the location could be better for us.

AzNightmare · 08-30-2023, 05:38 PM

My kid is almost 9 months now. He loves to roll over to his front but he still struggles to actually get out of the "tummy time" position. He gets stuck/tired and eventually just face plants into the ground or bed. Sometimes we worry if he can breathe so we're always relatively quick to flip him back over. If we don't, he starts screaming and crying anyway.

He's really good at rolling to his front though. You put him down on his back and step away for a moment and you know he'll be on his front by the time you come back.

It seems like he prefers lying on his front, but just doesn't know what to do from there. Is there anything I can do as a parent to help him learn how to roll back to his backside, or crawl?