Parental Thread

[AzNightmare]

Originally Posted by Traum

We had a similar issue for a few weeks when he was quite young -- no more than 6 months old for sure, probably younger. For his evening sleeps, he would insist on having someone carry him while walking. We can't put him into his crib, and we can't stop walking. If we try, he'd somehow know it right away even though I am 100% certain he has already fallen asleep. It drove me nuts because I'd be the one walking back and forth our apartment while carrying him in my arms for a few hours at a time.

And then there was another phase when he insists on having someone hold/carry him. He is older at that point, though probably still younger than 1 year old. But because he is bigger and heavier than before at that point, carrying him in my arms for 3+ hrs was killing my both my shoulder and arm. But at least at that point, I can just sit down.

In both cases, it was a phase he went through over a few weeks. So in your case, it might just be a phase. How long have you noticed this happening?

Another potential cause might be that his stomach is only comfortable when he is being held in an upright position. As soon as you tilt him down, perhaps the gases and/or fluids in his stomach is making him uncomfortable, so he'd start crying.

Does this tend to happen some time after meals? Potentially, you might want to try giving him a bit less to eat so that he won't feel so bloated.

I think my son's just really attached when he gets sleepy, and combined with me not having a lot of patience when trying to put him down in a few minutes. Holding him in the dark and just walking around for minutes can feel like hours...

For the past few nights, I tried something new and put on a bluetooth earphone and played some chill music while holding him. It made passing time a lot easier and noticed he was out within 10-15 mins.

I think he just needs to be in a deep enough sleep while being held, and once he's out, he won't notice when I put him down in bed and leave.

[inv4zn]

Originally Posted by AzNightmare

I think my son's just really attached when he gets sleepy, and combined with me not having a lot of patience when trying to put him down in a few minutes. Holding him in the dark and just walking around for minutes can feel like hours...

For the past few nights, I tried something new and put on a bluetooth earphone and played some chill music while holding him. It made passing time a lot easier and noticed he was out within 10-15 mins.

I think he just needs to be in a deep enough sleep while being held, and once he's out, he won't notice when I put him down in bed and leave.

Another thing to note for new parents, is that especially during that period as kids figure out the whole concept of sleep, is that their definition of "awake" is also different than an adult.

Just because you hear rustling, or s/he's sitting up in his bed, or even seemingly awake and crying, give the kid a few minutes, and there's a good chance they'll just go right back to sleep. Medically, apparently they're still in a state of sleep, even if they look like they're actually up.

I know a few 'anxious' parents who storm in as soon as they see/hear movement, but that's counter-productive for both the kid and the parents.

[Traum]

Originally Posted by inv4zn

Just because you hear rustling, or s/he's sitting up in his bed, or even seemingly awake and crying, give the kid a few minutes, and there's a good chance they'll just go right back to sleep. Medically, apparently they're still in a state of sleep, even if they look like they're actually up.

My kid would do exactly this every now and then, and I have no idea whehter I can still call him being in a state of sleep or not because he would actually react / respond to us if we give him gentle directions -- lie down / go back to sleep / don't rub your eyes etc. Sometimes he would even argue / talk back. But often enough, he would do exactly as you have described -- after some time has passed, he'll lie back down and go right back to sleep. And then if you ask him about it the next morning, he wouldn't remember any of that happening LOL~

Gosh... I can really use some sleep now...

[RabidRat]

Poor guy chomped into his tongue as we were playing last night, and after a silence, burst into tears. It was a mouth full of blood which luckily stopped almost immediately (along with the crying) but shiet that was kinda scary to see.

We took his pacifiers away so he wouldn't break the clot back open. It's been hard on him though because he's not used to falling asleep / napping without one.

How long does it take to get it reasonably healed up that we can give the pacifiers back, anyone have a guess? It's a 9 month old, if that matters?

[inv4zn]

^They heal very quickly, so obviously keep an eye on it but I think a day or two should be ok.

That said, it may be a good chance to just ween him off pacifiers, they're not that good to begin with.

[EvoFire]

I want to pull my hair out. The little one who's just under 13 months cried for hours last night. It's been the same for the last few days. This came about because she got sick and all the sleep training was thrown out the window. But whereas before we can sleep train her, give the pacifier, or hold her to calm her down, she wants NOTHING to do with ANYTHING this time and just wants to cry. I got about 4 hours of sleep last night, broken into 2x 2 hour chunks. I want to jump off a cliff.

[Traum]

This is one of the trials by fire that all parents go through, and we've all had those days and evenings before. Hang in there and load yourself up with your caffeine of choice and some comfort food. Once the little person is feeling better, she'll go back to being her normal self.

Do you have any elderberry gummies at home that you can feed her with? They are supposed to help with boosting immune systems, and the gummy form makes it easy for kids.

[underscore]

I don't have any advice, but you have my sympathies. Hang in there!

[inv4zn]

Originally Posted by Traum

Do you have any elderberry gummies at home that you can feed her with? They are supposed to help with boosting immune systems, and the gummy form makes it easy for kids.

I'm fairly sure at 13 months that would be a huge choking hazard, lol.

My sister cried for 9 hours straight when she was an infant. Not sick, not hungry, nothing - she just needed to let it out I guess. 30 years later my parents still talk about it every now and then.

[Traum]

Originally Posted by inv4zn

I'm fairly sure at 13 months that would be a huge choking hazard, lol.

My sister cried for 9 hours straight when she was an infant. Not sick, not hungry, nothing - she just needed to let it out I guess. 30 years later my parents still talk about it every now and then.

Yup, I just realized last night that the elderberry gummies would be a bad idea for a 13 months old. So definitely do not give her that.
(But he has since moved on to the elderberry gummies now, which is why that was the first thing that came up in my mind.)

But there is a multitude of elderberry syrup equivalent available for children that age. As the syrup is pretty sweet -- I would even call it yummy -- I would recommend that instead. Our child never had an issue with us giving her elderberry syrup when he is mildly sick because he thinks it tastes great.

[EvoFire]

The 13month old refuses to take meds. Huge fight every time. My older one would just gobble all the meds up because it's sweet.

She's slept properly last night finally omg. It's been a rough week. She's starting daycare next week looool. Getting ready for another two weeks of hell.

[Traum]

You need to find a way to convince her into thinking that the elderberry syrup is just some sort of syrup. It is really quite sweet, and doesn't taste like medicine at all -- it really just tastes like fruit syrup. So that might just work for your daughter.

[SSM_DC5]

Are RESP limited to what you can invest in? Bank is telling me to go on their site, look through their mutual funds and tell them which one I like and they'll do the rest. They say I can't buy the mutual funds on my own and I can't use it on the stock market.

I'm a noob to this stuff so aware me.

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by SSM_DC5

Are RESP limited to what you can invest in? Bank is telling me to go on their site, look through their mutual funds and tell them which one I like and they'll do the rest. They say I can't buy the mutual funds on my own and I can't use it on the stock market.

I'm a noob to this stuff so aware me.

You need to use a different financial institution if you're wanting more autonomy with your RESP investments.

I used to use TD e-series for our RESPs, which was a self-directed service. We now use Wealthsimple because I wanted lower fees with absolutely no work involved on my end (e.g. no balancing funds/indexes in regular intervals).

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by SSM_DC5

Are RESP limited to what you can invest in? Bank is telling me to go on their site, look through their mutual funds and tell them which one I like and they'll do the rest. They say I can't buy the mutual funds on my own and I can't use it on the stock market.

I'm a noob to this stuff so aware me.

No more limits than what you an do with a TFSA or RRSP. I run mine through Wealthsimple - reasonably cheap and super easy to manage (they take care of getting the gov't grant). Questrade also supports it but it's more work (at least when I set mine up).

[SSM_DC5]

First year doing taxes with a baby..... What sort of stuff do I get to claim?

On another note, I'm selling my Nuna MIXX next stroller.

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by SSM_DC5

First year doing taxes with a baby..... What sort of stuff do I get to claim?

On another note, I'm selling my Nuna MIXX next stroller.

Besides child care expenses there's not much to claim - anything else you're eligible for would have been automatic depending on income.

[SSM_DC5]

How much income is too much income for collecting the Canada child benefit? Would RS baller of 250k per year get you zero dollars?

I used the calculator and put in 200k and it says I should get $900 something. In real-life the government is saying I'm not eligible....

[inv4zn]

^It zeroes out in the low 200k's. But it's scaled so you get <$100/mo at about 180k.

[supafamous]

I plugged my numbers into the calculator and it says I should get about $300 of benefits but I ain't seen a cheque for that in years (maybe I got it 5 years ago?). I'm not sure if it's based on my wife making only $105k or if it's based on our total household income (well north of $250k)

[inv4zn]

It's based on household income. At $250k you ain't seeing anything.

We're at $160k-ish and we get $190/month or something.

[Traum]

For a married / common law couple, the CCB gets deposited into the wife's bank account.

I might just need to start some gender equality activism sort of thing so that daddies can get a cut of the CCB too!

[SSM_DC5]

Originally Posted by Traum

For a married / common law couple, the CCB gets deposited into the wife's bank account.

I might just need to start some gender equality activism sort of thing so that daddies can get a cut of the CCB too!

Wife was telling me I can get the CCB if she writes me a note. Lol


I played with the calculator some more and at $229k I can get $9 for the year. Guess that's the point it's reaching zero. RS ballers aka the ones who can afford a home in Vancouver ain't getting anything from the government!

[EvoFire]

We never got any CCB until we filed for taxes for the tax year my wife was on mat leave because she made 60k with top up and I was at 105k after the first kid.

Then it was nothing for 2 years because wife was back to work and we broke into the 200s.

I don't know if we'll get any this year after taxes though despite having a second. I got laid off late 2022 and didn't start working until sometime in Feb while wife was on mat leave. My T4 came in for this year at 143k and wife would be at around 70k for the year with EI + top up. We still come up to over 200k with her on mat leave. 2 kids are supposed to give us more, but I don't know where that limit is.

[inv4zn]

Originally Posted by EvoFire

We never got any CCB until we filed for taxes for the tax year my wife was on mat leave because she made 60k with top up and I was at 105k after the first kid.

Then it was nothing for 2 years because wife was back to work and we broke into the 200s.

I don't know if we'll get any this year after taxes though despite having a second. I got laid off late 2022 and didn't start working until sometime in Feb while wife was on mat leave. My T4 came in for this year at 143k and wife would be at around 70k for the year with EI + top up. We still come up to over 200k with her on mat leave. 2 kids are supposed to give us more, but I don't know where that limit is.

I mean...at 200k with a lay-off for one spouse and mat leave for the other, do you really need CCB?

It's income tested for a reason, lol