REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

EvoFire · 03-18-2021, 12:52 PM

Our little one has been gagging himself with his fingers at the dinner for awhile now, we typically pull his fingers out or just ignore him. Never actually threw up though.

He does purposely cough for some reason. Haven't figured out why as it doesn't seem to be attention seeking.

inv4zn · 03-18-2021, 01:17 PM

Hmm, I guess just patience and perseverance... Which is probably true for most if not all things at this age.

She fake coughed starting a few months ago but everytime she does it I'm like heyy I know that's fake in a playful voice and she smiles lol. Far less annoying than throwing up lol

Tapioca · 03-22-2021, 10:12 PM

Just discovered this thread... I guess there are a few old timers that are now in the baby-raising years.

My children are about to turn 4 and 6 in a few weeks. It's interesting to read and re-live all of the trials and tribulations that new parents go through. All I can say is that the journey of parenthood gets more interesting by the week and the month, especially once they start developing their own lives outside of the home.

Great68 · 03-25-2021, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tapioca

All I can say is that the journey of parenthood gets more interesting by the week and the month

That's a great way to put it. One thing I've come to realise is that the challenges never get easier or go away, they just change form.

For example: When they're infants you're just wish for the days where they'll sleep through the night, you don't have to change diapers anymore, and they can feed themselves.

Now they're 4 years old and they can do all the above on their own, but now they're coming in your bed in the middle of the night, kicking you in the kidneys, taking over your pillow and you get frustrated enough that you go sleep in their bed.

Or you find that they've raided mom's makeup drawer, mixing together the various creams, gels, perfumes etc and when you ask them what they're doing they say "I'm doing science!". And you want to laugh more than you want to get angry.

Traum · 03-25-2021, 11:00 AM

If I ever hear this song or any variations of it again any time in the future or in my next 3 lives, I swear either my brain will explode, or I'll go shxt bat crazy.

Great68 · 03-25-2021, 11:39 AM

See I got my kid on this version instead:

It's much less abrasive.

inv4zn · 03-25-2021, 02:40 PM

Our girl turns 1 this weekend, but I can already see myself struggling with being stern with her.

She recently started throwing the worst 'tantrums' right before bedtime - flailing arms, arched backs when held, screaming, etc. Last night her mom was getting so mad I took the baby away, stood her in the corner in my arms, and said 'you're giving your mom a very hard time, that's not good' - in a stern way so she knows I'm not playing around.

She stood there for a few seconds looking at my face, and then hung her head in shame. I couldn't help but smile, and she saw this immediately - and went right back to being a little shit haha.

Then this morning she woke up at 5:40am because she had a big poo and woke us all up...lol

Traum · 03-25-2021, 03:25 PM

You were fantastic and doing everything right, right up until the point when you couldn't help yourself and smiled. Kids -- esp girls -- are crazy good at picking up those cues, and they take those as encouragement or rewards for their behaviour. And then they'll repeat their behaviour because they are expecting to get rewarded again for engaging in that same behaviour. (In your case, that behaviour could be throwing tantrums.)

When you need to be stern, you have to keep it up all the way through, or the effort will be meaningless. My MIL has a habit of laughing when my kid engages in certain types of "naughty" behaviour, even when we are disciplining him, and I get super upset with that because her laughing is just totally ruining our efforts to discipline him. In fact, it is egging him to keep on being naughty.

From one Baba to another -- you gotta hold it together, man. There will be plenty of opportunities for you to smile, laugh, and play with her. But when you need to be stern, you gotta be stern.

Quote:

Originally Posted by inv4zn

Our girl turns 1 this weekend, but I can already see myself struggling with being stern with her.

She recently started throwing the worst 'tantrums' right before bedtime - flailing arms, arched backs when held, screaming, etc. Last night her mom was getting so mad I took the baby away, stood her in the corner in my arms, and said 'you're giving your mom a very hard time, that's not good' - in a stern way so she knows I'm not playing around.

She stood there for a few seconds looking at my face, and then hung her head in shame. I couldn't help but smile, and she saw this immediately - and went right back to being a little shit haha.

Then this morning she woke up at 5:40am because she had a big poo and woke us all up...lol

inv4zn · 03-25-2021, 03:32 PM

Haha I know I know, I just didn't expect her to do that and I cracked. I did turn my head but I guess I was too slow. Also probably didn't help that I turned my head towards a mirror...lol.

320icar · 03-30-2021, 08:00 PM

Just realized my wife goes back to work in a week. My spare time just plummeted down to zero. We have different days off too so my weekends of car work etc just evaporated

!Aznboi128 · 03-31-2021, 01:19 PM

Time to find a new wife..errr... job.

My wife works as an Optician so she doesn't get the normal 9-5 like I do she's thinking of getting a new job when she goes back so that we can spend more family time together. But I am curious for those who don't work the traditional 9-5 how does it work?

320icar · 03-31-2021, 02:27 PM

Not easy. Wife and I have been together since 2013. We’ve rarely gotten same days off, and we work opposite shifts (im evenings and she’s usually mornings). I used to be early af but poetically she was closing all the time.

It’s great for making sure someone’s always home with the baby, but relationship wise it fucking sucks.

That’s a whole ‘nother topic for a different time, but intimacy after your first child. I don’t mean sex, but just the the entire relationship after. I love my child, but I miss my wife

!Aznboi128 · 03-31-2021, 07:14 PM

Yea, I hear ya. My son is only 4 months old and I feel like the relationship we had has taken a nose dive. It's not bad in anyway but she's just not as happy as she used to. Which in turn makes me sad.

320icar · 03-31-2021, 08:13 PM

I think as dads well never truly understand how brutal it is being a new mom. We’ve witnessed it first hand as best we can, but the physical and chemical changes are beyond or comprehension. I keep getting told it gets better, just have to hang in there.

Can’t remember the quote but it’s something like “having a baby is like taking a great marriage and throwing a hand grenade at it”

underscore · 03-31-2021, 09:35 PM

Life for us improved immensely once we got our first sleep trained. We got part of our evenings back, so we actually got a couple hours a night together and we were both getting a full nights sleep.

I don't know if the same will happen now with kid 2 but we're really hoping for it.

RiceIntegraRS · 03-31-2021, 10:53 PM

^Yes, once our kid was sleep trained and it took a long ass time to do so, our relationship got better. I tried to do as much as i possibly could to help out at home. Which basically meant cutting 2nd-3rd circle friends, friends who i share my hobbies with and the big one was social media. I deleted soo many people off IG and FB cause i realised how much time i wasted on my phone. That time could be spent towards my kid and wife. I couldnt be happier to be honest after i did it.

EvoFire · 04-01-2021, 11:30 AM

We had some pretty epic fights about things at home due to the baby. She doesn't think I'm doing enough, not enough intimacy, etc.
I felt like I needed 30 hours a day to be able to have enough time.

Nowadays the fights more about differing parenting styles between us and my parents, and how we want to respect the little one's space, but my family being super Asian has no sense of personal space.

There's a different fight for every stage.

TypeRNammer · 04-10-2021, 09:58 AM

It's amazing how kids minds absorb information like a sponge.

The other day my daughter was crying cause she wanted to eat spaghetti when we already cooked up noodles in soup.

For me to convince her to eat it, I had to refer it as Chinese spaghetti

But now a days when I ask her what she wants to eat, she jumps and says she wants the Chinese spaghetti haha. In the process of correcting that now

underscore · 04-10-2021, 01:11 PM

^ We did that with pears. She decided she didn't like pears all of a sudden, okay whatever no more pears for you. I'm eating a pear one day and of course she wants some. "Oh you want some pe-dada apple? sure."

For the next 6 months or so they were dada apples

Gumby · 04-11-2021, 11:37 PM

lol, my 7 year old doesn’t like tomatoes/pasta sauce, but he likes lasagna. So we made him some macaroni with “lasagna sauce” and he still ate it...

!Aznboi128 · 04-25-2021, 06:49 PM

okay, rant time.

I hate social media, sure it lets you keep in touch with friends and what not but when you have a bunch of friends kids on your feed all you do is compare. My wife is constantly comparing and it's making her have huge anxiety issues because of it.

I told her to put her phone down but it's so hard. Any tips?

Traum · 04-25-2021, 07:01 PM

Just have to drive home the idea to her that every kid grows at a different pace, and every kid is good at something different (and bad at others).

The sooner she understands this, the better it is for her as a mom.

underscore · 04-25-2021, 07:30 PM

For the most part people are only posting the things their kid is ahead in, not the stuff they're behind on. Every kid is ahead in something and behind in something else, guaranteed your kid is ahead of each of the kids your wife is comparing to in some aspect or another. My wife and inlaws were worrying because my oldest wasn't saying many words at first. Now she's miles ahead of where she's supposed to be and basically won't stop talking.

The way I look at it is, unless multiple medical professionals are worried about, I'm not worried about it.

supafamous · 04-26-2021, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by !Aznboi128

okay, rant time.

I hate social media, sure it lets you keep in touch with friends and what not but when you have a bunch of friends kids on your feed all you do is compare. My wife is constantly comparing and it's making her have huge anxiety issues because of it.

I told her to put her phone down but it's so hard. Any tips?

Ain't your kid under a year old? At that point it's ridiculous to attach anything to how they're developing other than there's progress (and your doctor is happy with things).

My wife had some anxiety about our daughter's early development as my daughter was quite small (under 5.5lbs) but we had a great doctor who saw us very regularly that helped a lot - are you and your wife happy with your doctor? are they supportive in a way to address the anxiety that comes with being a new parent? It makes a HUGE diff when the doctor is great at this.

EvoFire · 04-26-2021, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by !Aznboi128

okay, rant time.

I hate social media, sure it lets you keep in touch with friends and what not but when you have a bunch of friends kids on your feed all you do is compare. My wife is constantly comparing and it's making her have huge anxiety issues because of it.

I told her to put her phone down but it's so hard. Any tips?

What Traum said. She gives me anxiety sometimes cause she gets anxious about stuff like that.

I think it's been drilled into her though as she's been doing it less.

My mom on the other hand.....

fml