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#RevsceneVLS General ChatSOCIAL LIFESTYLES ADSPACE AVAILABLE. CONTACT INFO@BLITZGEAR.COM 2016 VLS Community Head Moderator: SaucyWoman
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@Revscene #RevsceneVLS. Vancouver LifeStyles Discussions: Car-free, political and current events, random thoughts, or topics that don't fit in the other forums. Remember to check out feature articles on the Main Website
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This, if it's free it'll be gone in no time in those groups. Been on those groups for like almost 11 years, they're cheap as fuck (not blaming I understand why) but it's quite hard to sell anything for a fair price you have to have the mindset of just get rid of this thing for any price period.
__________________
"back at the line to Babych.... LONG SHOT....Potvin had trouble with it....ADAM SHOOTS SCORES!!!!
Curious - do you plan on teaching your kid how to drive or will you pay someone to do it? I have a negative impression of driving schools b/c I think they're just teaching people how to pass the test rather than how to be good drivers. Maybe things are different today but I see tonnes of student drivers in my area and I'm extremely unimpressed by the quality of driving by the students.
Even before my son turned 16 we would point out good & bad scenarios as we drove around. So we were teaching him even though he wasn’t behind the wheel. He’s nearing 17 now and still hasn’t taken a single lesson, lol.
The plan is for him to take some formal lessons because it will reduce the L period.
Edit: oops, yes it’s to reduce the N period
__________________ Do Not Put Aftershave on Your Balls. -604CEFIRO Looks like I'm gonna have some hot sex again tonight...OOPS i got the 6 pack. that wont last me the night, I better go back and get the 24 pack! -Turbo E kinda off topic but obama is a dilf - miss_crayon Honest to fucking Christ the easiest way to get a married woman in the mood is clean the house and do the laundry.....I've been with the same girl almost 17 years, ask me how I know. - quasi
Even before my son turned 16 we would point out good & bad scenarios as we drove around. So we were teaching him even though he wasn’t behind the wheel. He’s nearing 17 now and still hasn’t taken a single lesson, lol.
The plan is for him to take some formal lessons because it will reduce the L period.
Didn't they stop reducing L and reduced the N instead?
Has anyone thought about doing the stay at home dad thing for a couple years?
Spoiler!
We've been looking at the research on daycare, and it seems there's mounting evidence that putting kids (especially boys) in daycare full-time in the very early years increases their propensity to behavioral issues / aggression, throughout the rest of their lives.
The effect is strongest in the first year, diminishes towards 2.5 years old, then flips around to positive with part-time, until finally full time being positive starting at 4 years old.
Quote:
Originally Posted by https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4
Summary of effects
First, here are the effects of 15–30 hrs of daycare a week, broken down by age.
For ages 3+, there are few downsides and substantial advantages. Daycare boosts both cognitive skills (literacy and mathematics) and social skills as measured in the first few years at school.
For age 2, the findings are more mixed. This is the best age to start in terms of boosting later cognitive skills, but children are more likely to act out and be angry when they reach school.
For age 1, childcare may improve cognitive skills a little, though certainly less than starting at age 2. But it also has even larger negative effects on later behavior in school. There is no boost to social skills.
For children aged 0–12 months, daycare likely damages cognitive skills and children’s later behavior at school is even worse. There is no boost to social skills.
Compared to 15–30 hours, 30+ hours a week before 4 or so doesn’t give any cognitive benefits but makes children more likely to act out and be angry when they reach school.
If the kid is pretty chill to start with, probably it'd be nbd. But I wouldn't at all use the word "chill" to describe our boys lol. Since my MIL is not helping anymore, our little one is slated to start daycare at 10 months old when my wife plans to go back to work. That's pretty early.
I think the article makes this analogy: it's basically like permanently offsetting a person in percentile by the equivalent of an inch in their height. Doesn't really matter for most people, but if you're already at the lower end then you care a little more.
It's my wife's turn to pursue her career, so if either of us is going to stay home it would be me. While this would be a pretty big setback to our lifestyle and retirement plans, I think we could scrape by for some limited time.
It's a lot of tradeoffs, so just wondering if you guys may have thought of things I haven't. Especially those of you whose kids are now older and you've seen some shit.
__________________ Geriatric Motoring Club Member #37
Has anyone thought about doing the stay at home dad thing for a couple years?
It's my wife's turn to pursue her career, so if either of us is going to stay home it would be me. While this would be a pretty big setback to our lifestyle and retirement plans, I think we could scrape by for some limited time.
It's a lot of tradeoffs, so just wondering if you guys may have thought of things I haven't. Especially those of you whose kids are now older and you've seen some shit.
I'm sorta doing this right now as I quit my job in Dec due to my hearing loss. I'm eventually going back to work but I'm taking time to noodle on what that will look like for me (consulting? f/t work? etc) but meanwhile I'm able to spend more time with my kid (6y). I go to her field trips (big and small) and handle more of her extra curricular activities. I'm also way more present as a dad - I'm not an exhausted blob at the end of the work day, I'm an active participant in her activities. I've also picked up a bit of the household work though that's a work in progress (my wife would say there is no progress).
I still have work related stuff that I'm doing here and there so I'm not completely a SAHD but I'm not exactly busy right now. From what I recall your job is pretty stressful with a fair bit of travel so it might not hurt to have a sabbatical for a bit to recharge and revisit your career.
If you can swing it definitely do it - I was hit a couple years ago by the quote of "From the age of 0-10 you are your child's favourite person" and it's always on my mind nowadays. I love being a dad more than I expected and it's my favourite thing to do by far so I'm not going to rush back to work right now even though we are running a deficit right now (we could handle it for another year if needed).
Happy to chat offline about my thought process on why I did what I did and how we are making it work.
I'm sorta doing this right now as I quit my job in Dec due to my hearing loss. I'm eventually going back to work but I'm taking time to noodle on what that will look like for me (consulting? f/t work? etc) but meanwhile I'm able to spend more time with my kid (6y). I go to her field trips (big and small) and handle more of her extra curricular activities. I'm also way more present as a dad - I'm not an exhausted blob at the end of the work day, I'm an active participant in her activities. I've also picked up a bit of the household work though that's a work in progress (my wife would say there is no progress).
I still have work related stuff that I'm doing here and there so I'm not completely a SAHD but I'm not exactly busy right now. From what I recall your job is pretty stressful with a fair bit of travel so it might not hurt to have a sabbatical for a bit to recharge and revisit your career.
If you can swing it definitely do it - I was hit a couple years ago by the quote of "From the age of 0-10 you are your child's favourite person" and it's always on my mind nowadays. I love being a dad more than I expected and it's my favourite thing to do by far so I'm not going to rush back to work right now even though we are running a deficit right now (we could handle it for another year if needed).
Happy to chat offline about my thought process on why I did what I did and how we are making it work.
Oh damn, that does hit hard.
Thanks, really appreciate it. PM'd!
__________________ Geriatric Motoring Club Member #37
My kids hate me lol so staying at home would be a challenge.
My wife wants to be a SAHM, but I don't think it's mentally healthy for her as she needs to feel useful and be productive above the home stuff. We also want to set a good role model that we need to work so the kids don't think it's ok to do nothing at home.
As for the hating me thing, no they don't actually hate me but they prefer mom over dad. The older is in Kindy now and the younger one is in daycare and we've seen massive growth with the younger one so we likely won't change.
A "fact" I've seen thrown around is that by the age of 12 you'll have spent 75% of all the time you'll ever spend with your kid and by age 18 it'll be 90%. I believe it's based off the American time use survey done in 2023 which you can find here: https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/t...nOnlyInTable=1
I can't find a way to break down the survey data to prove it's 75% and 90% but it mostly sounds about right give or take 10% (us Asians probably don't kick our kids out at 18 like them Whiteys so our numbers are probably a bit lower).
My kids hate me lol so staying at home would be a challenge.
My wife wants to be a SAHM, but I don't think it's mentally healthy for her as she needs to feel useful and be productive above the home stuff. We also want to set a good role model that we need to work so the kids don't think it's ok to do nothing at home.
As for the hating me thing, no they don't actually hate me but they prefer mom over dad. The older is in Kindy now and the younger one is in daycare and we've seen massive growth with the younger one so we likely won't change.
My wife quit her job to be a SAHM a few years after our second kid was born. Unless you have a nanny/maid, I’d argue the SAHM partner has a harder job than someone with a 9-5 office job because their job never ends. Running errands, getting groceries, preparing meals, taking kids to/from school and extra curricular activities, being available if your kids are sick or need to be picked up early - all of this takes stress away from the main income earner. On top of that, I always stress to my kids that we’re lucky to have enough money to have mom stay at home to take care of them. She’s never “doing nothing”. I always remind her that I’m thankful for everything she does around the house. The only worry I have is that she has limited time to spend with other adults, so any time she gets a chance (e.g. yoga class, ex co-workers) , I encourage her to go out with them.
__________________ Do Not Put Aftershave on Your Balls. -604CEFIRO Looks like I'm gonna have some hot sex again tonight...OOPS i got the 6 pack. that wont last me the night, I better go back and get the 24 pack! -Turbo E kinda off topic but obama is a dilf - miss_crayon Honest to fucking Christ the easiest way to get a married woman in the mood is clean the house and do the laundry.....I've been with the same girl almost 17 years, ask me how I know. - quasi
I'm part of this child care group on FB and there are regular postings from nanny's and many of the parents who use them will chime in. They do tend to be heavily Hispanic (like students from Mexico).
Good full-time nannies are $$$$. My buddy is paying $5k/mo for his nanny (she charges us $33/hr for babysitting services) but she's fantastic - she can handle anything you throw at her. (She's coming available in July I think if you're interested - she's out of New West and is Brazilian).
I'm part of this child care group on FB and there are regular postings from nanny's and many of the parents who use them will chime in. They do tend to be heavily Hispanic (like students from Mexico).
Good full-time nannies are $$$$. My buddy is paying $5k/mo for his nanny (she charges us $33/hr for babysitting services) but she's fantastic - she can handle anything you throw at her. (She's coming available in July I think if you're interested - she's out of New West and is Brazilian).
Thanks for posting this. I just came back from visiting HK recently where everyone and their dog is paying their full time live-in nannies 5K HKD/ month. I can do 5K HKD but not 5K CAD lol
[EDIT] Actually now that I think about it, I need a housekeeper more than I need a nannie.
__________________ Never argue with a dumbass, they drag you down to their level and try to beat you with experience
Question for the girl dads: Now that you have a girl have you become acutely aware of how gross public washrooms are?
My wife has usually handled washroom duty for my daughter but I do it more and more now (like this week was a Daddy/Daughter week) and I have become so aware of how disgusting most public washrooms are. Women put their thighs on these toilet seats?! Ewwwwww, fucking gross. My kid has to hop backwards up onto these toilets?
Chinese restaurants are consistently the worst - they practically treat it as a badge of honour to be gross.
OTOH, the Metrotown Burnaby Public Library has a nice setup - there's a kid size toilet and it's clean and doesn't smell like shit/piss (unlike the one at the convention centre that I had endure on Weds).
Tactical wees before we leave the house and planning around washroom facilities have become a thing for me as a result.
Man, and it's one of those things where it just quickly escalates: as soon as somebody gets it a little dirty, then next person cares a little less. Maybe they get creative. They do the hover thing. Maybe they arc it from afar. And it just avalanches from there .
__________________ Geriatric Motoring Club Member #37
Question for the girl dads: Now that you have a girl have you become acutely aware of how gross public washrooms are?
My wife has usually handled washroom duty for my daughter but I do it more and more now (like this week was a Daddy/Daughter week) and I have become so aware of how disgusting most public washrooms are. Women put their thighs on these toilet seats?! Ewwwwww, fucking gross. My kid has to hop backwards up onto these toilets?
Chinese restaurants are consistently the worst - they practically treat it as a badge of honour to be gross.
OTOH, the Metrotown Burnaby Public Library has a nice setup - there's a kid size toilet and it's clean and doesn't smell like shit/piss (unlike the one at the convention centre that I had endure on Weds).
Tactical wees before we leave the house and planning around washroom facilities have become a thing for me as a result.
100% I'm more often the one taking my daughter to the bathroom and I always do a full on wipe dry > disinfect with wipes > then lay down a nest of toilet paper before she even goes on.
__________________
"back at the line to Babych.... LONG SHOT....Potvin had trouble with it....ADAM SHOOTS SCORES!!!!
Men's washrooms are worse. I've stood next to a guy at the urinal where he decides he's just not gonna even bother trying and just pee all over the ground.
Not saying women's washrooms can't be absolutely disgusting, but you remove the standing to pee problem and you reduce a lot of the issues.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
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