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Old 10-24-2022, 12:10 PM   #1
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How much $$$ do you give for Weddings these days?

I know different cultures give different amounts.

1) I'm curious to know what your thoughts are on local weddings, and how much to give?
2) How much do you give (if any) if you go on a destination wedding, let's say Mexico (far away) or Tofino (relatively close), both still expensive for the guest.


For local weddings my friends say $100 per person (pp) is the absolute minimum, but $150 pp is more inline with today's standard.
For destination weddings, my friends have no idea... Since you have to pay quite a bit just to go to the wedding...One idea is $100 pp for a destination wedding.

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Old 10-24-2022, 12:30 PM   #2
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The baseline is that you shouldn't give more than you can afford. No one should feel like they have to give a set amount just because they were invited.

At my wedding 8 years ago the younger guests gave between $25-150pp while the older guests (friends of our parents) typically gave $150-250pp. I had one person who couldn't make it give me $1000 but that was the exception.

If my wife and I were going to a wedding now I think I'd give $200-300 total, more if I know them well or if the party is going to be a bit fancier. For a destination wedding I probably give half that.
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Old 10-24-2022, 12:40 PM   #3
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i always give 200 per person for weddings.

that being said, i dont usually go to weddings because i hate everyone and their bullshit celebrations of happiness. fuck you and your fucking bullshit money grab. who cares if youre getting married, go eat a dick. <-- nobody invites me anymore.
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Old 10-24-2022, 12:45 PM   #4
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If they are good friends maybe $300+

For everyone else probably max $150 between my wife and I total
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Old 10-24-2022, 12:48 PM   #5
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Really depends on the relationship to the wedding couple.

I've given more to close friends than to blood relatives (rarely seen cousins).

The stingiest we've ever been was for my Wife's cousin. Someone who we rarely see, with destination wedding in Kelowna and a cash bar.

And she divorced 5 years later...
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Old 10-24-2022, 12:51 PM   #6
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It all depends. $100 is my baseline. It goes up if were closer friends. It also goes down if u cheap out on booze or dont serve an actual dinner.

I had a destination wedding and i would say 75% of my guests gave me money. It all varied from person to person
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Old 10-24-2022, 12:52 PM   #7
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^ ... ... I'm also at that age in which going is more of a hassle than anything. If they are having a separate ceremony, go and honour them but find a reason to skip the reception if you can ... it's a hella $$$$$ night, you might sit with people you don't know or like. Give a small gift card if you just attend ceremony. Save the $$$ you would have given and go out with people you like being around ... haha. Some are referencing the degree that you know them ... if they are not within your close circle of friends ... don't even bother going.
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Old 10-24-2022, 12:58 PM   #8
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I've heard coworkers and friends being upset when they got $100 for duals or < $100/Person. Thought that was kind of weird since you invited them. They mentioned they even broke even with a little bit of profit from them if you invite enough people?

What are you thoughts on people if they don't bring a gift?
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Old 10-24-2022, 01:05 PM   #9
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I dont know about u guys, but i love going to weddings. U "paid" to have a good time u might aswell make the most of it. I dont mind partying with strangers, its not like ull ever see them again


No gift really? Those are the types of people that comes to partys empty handed and drink and eat everyone elses shit.
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Old 10-24-2022, 01:15 PM   #10
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I think like many my baseline is $100 per person for like an ok friend. You know like someone you are not super tight with but their wedding was big enough that you still made it to be invited lol.

Then from there it'll slowly go up, like closer friends $150, fam $200 +. No idea about destination weddings have yet to do one and hopefully won't.
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Old 10-24-2022, 01:18 PM   #11
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I've heard coworkers and friends being upset when they got $100 for duals or < $100/Person. Thought that was kind of weird since you invited them. They mentioned they even broke even with a little bit of profit from them if you invite enough people?

What are you thoughts on people if they don't bring a gift?
If they can't afford it then I don't care if they don't provide a gift (assuming they at least gave a card). I don't get the entitlement of people around getting wedding gifts - they're your GUESTS. A wedding is just a big version of a house party and I don't expect my friends to bring anything when I have them over. Most offer to bring something but they're not obligated to do so.

As a baseline, a guests' presence is enough of a gift at a wedding - it's an entire day that they spend with you (and usually a whole bunch of strangers). My feeding of them is the least I can do. If they choose to give something to me it's a bonus.
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Old 10-24-2022, 01:18 PM   #12
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Give enough to at least pay for my seat at the table. More if really close friends.
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Old 10-24-2022, 01:27 PM   #13
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The couple getting married looking at the gifts coming in to “break even” or not are even worse than the attendee who doesn’t give a gift lol
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Old 10-24-2022, 01:30 PM   #14
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If they're Asian, 288.
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Old 10-24-2022, 01:34 PM   #15
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Give enough to at least pay for my seat at the table. More if really close friends.
That’s what I came in here to say. There is no rule on how much you should give. The real answer is give what you’re comfortable with. But a good thought is that at least give what you think it cost per person for the dinner, drinks etc. helps ease the burden
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Old 10-24-2022, 01:41 PM   #16
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It all depends. $100 is my baseline. It goes up if were closer friends. It also goes down if u cheap out on booze or dont serve an actual dinner.

I had a destination wedding and i would say 75% of my guests gave me money. It all varied from person to person
Do you mind expanding on where you went and what the average you got per person was?
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Old 10-24-2022, 01:43 PM   #17
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I dont know about u guys, but i love going to weddings. U "paid" to have a good time u might aswell make the most of it. I dont mind partying with strangers, its not like ull ever see them again


No gift really? Those are the types of people that comes to partys empty handed and drink and eat everyone elses shit.
One of the most fun weddings I've been to was my neighbour's (well, my neighbour is her father who lives next door, she runs her hair salon out of the basement and cuts my hair).

We knew absolutely no one going in. The other couples at our table didn't know anyone outside of the bride & groom either. Crazy 12 course meal of food I'd never normally dream of eating (but went in with an open mind and tried everything), free flowing booze, and a bottle of Hennessy at every table (Bride's family was Vietnamese, so apparently cognac is a tradition). By the end of the night, our table was pretty rowdy... The wedding shut down around midnight, we continued the party a couple bars/clubs downtown.
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Old 10-24-2022, 01:56 PM   #18
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best wedding ive ever been to was this rich doctor friend of mine. dude told everyone to fuck off with the money and the gifts.

it was actually a real celebration. not like the typical chinese money grab where they expect to "break even" or make some $$$. fuck those.
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Old 10-24-2022, 02:39 PM   #19
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it was actually a real celebration. not like the typical chinese money grab where they expect to "break even" or make some $$$. fuck those.
Sad but true. One just needs to look at the gift registry. There are maybe a few things that are what sounds reasonable and those are already spoken for, the rest are big ticket items.
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Old 10-24-2022, 02:53 PM   #20
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^ which presumably, couples will return for cash or credit for the items that didn't really want nor will use.
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Old 10-24-2022, 02:58 PM   #21
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Really depends on the relationship to the wedding couple.

I've given more to close friends than to blood relatives (rarely seen cousins).

The stingiest we've ever been was for my Wife's cousin. Someone who we rarely see, with destination wedding in Kelowna and a cash bar.

And she divorced 5 years later...
At my age, funerals are more common than weddings, gulolol.

Found out that at least half a dozen of my classmates in high school have died already................... I plan to outlive them all. You know what they say, "Only the good die young."

Sort of getting back on topic. I've had friends marry and divorce more than once or twice.

BTW...... a very thoughtful gift, to me, is worth more than money.

Here's an idea............ a portrait of the husband and wife (husband and husband, wife and wife, etc.) every five years of marriage for the rest of their days............. as long as they're still married. So only once for most, if not all, marriages these days.
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Old 10-24-2022, 03:10 PM   #22
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I'm just happy I'm past the age where my friends are getting married, I hated attending most of them. The next wedding I go to will probably be my sons but hopefully not anytime soon.
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Old 10-24-2022, 03:26 PM   #23
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I'm just happy I'm past the age where my friends are getting married, I hated attending most of them. The next wedding I go to will probably be my sons but hopefully not anytime soon.
Baby shower for your son & his partner
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Old 10-24-2022, 03:39 PM   #24
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Do you mind expanding on where you went and what the average you got per person was?
My wedding was in Cuba. I basically got $100-$300 per person from friends. Obviously more from family. Some gave none

As u can tell by everyones responses, the amount varies from person to person. I honestly dont understand not giving anything but thats just me. A girl once told me, that it doesnt matter how much you give. Your getting it right back once its ur turn to get married anyways, and so far in my experience it holds true. Theres been a bunch of people who couldnt attend my wedding still give me "goodluck" money because thats what it is meant for. Goodluck and also they are returning back the luck i gave them previously if u wanna look at it that way.
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Old 10-24-2022, 03:59 PM   #25
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100 pp baseline
maybe 150 pp if we're best friends and i owe em one
If they are worth less than 100 pp, then you probably arent good enough friends to go to their wedding

Basically enough to cover our dinner
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