Income Disparity Amoung Your Friends?

[GS8]

Originally Posted by PeanutButter

Hmm. So what's the play here. Do you ream him out for being a dumbass or is that something you just let slide. I'm pretty sure I would ream him out and then that would fuck up our relationship for a good while.

Well I was left in the dark a little. I assumed my dad would just front some payments to weather the storm while my brother keeps the car. By the time I knew, it was mostly too late. I had enough time to say my piece but it went nowhere.

Originally Posted by GIZZ

Did your dad need a car? Does he have another car tucked away in the garage? If so, I'd return the Kia and pay the penalty.

When the transmission on my dad's silverado went toast, he decided to sell it right away. I gifted him one of my cars with the intention of him driving it until he couldn't drive it anymore. Now that the Kia entered the picture, I have since sold the gifted car due to lack of room.

Originally Posted by Badhobz

GS how tradition is your family ? If you give your brother (younger I presume ?) shit would that even be well received ? Same with your pops, if heÂ’s super traditional and donÂ’t listen to his kids then he might have to just bite this one since he agreed to help.

Either way. Shit move from your brother. Taking advantage of an old manÂ’s charity.

My brother is older and basically he painted a really sob story how he couldn't afford the car and was acting stressed with all the things going on in his life which caused my parents (my dad) to act quicker and was basically given no time to really think about it. I'll say he was very hesitant the day of the transfer but ultimately went with the power of being a good parent.

I was never expecting to see a brand new car in the driveway when I pulled up. Really soured my Christmas as this is the complete opposite of what I expect to see during this time of year.

[Gerbs]

What was his justification for buying a similar car? I'd blame your parents for enabling this.

[SkinnyPupp]

On one hand, it's cool that the dad took over the lease to help him through tough times. I don't see this as exploitative.

On the other, I don't get why he'd go and lease a new car instead of just taking the old lease back. Is the new one significantly cheaper? I have no idea what any of these are.

[unit]

sounds kinda like maybe he saw an opportunity out of his lease when times were tough, then when he felt like he could afford it again wanted new and shiny. pretty shitty to coerce your family into taking unnecessary debt. should have just taken the car back once he got back on his feet and took the pressure off dad. sorry to hear that gs8

[twitchyzero]

Originally Posted by SkinnyPupp

Is the new one significantly cheaper? I have no idea what any of these are.

not sure but new one is equally theft-prone

[GS8]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

What was his justification for buying a similar car? I'd blame your parents for enabling this.

I'm kind of thinking of it like a tech / romance scam. Not so much as an actual scam but of the mental manipulation of older people and targeting their emotions to get what they want. But, yes, my parents absolutely enabled this but there were unknowns at the time. I would have suggested that my brother put the car on FB instead where I see tons of lease takeover ads.

Anyway, we'll see what happens next. I'm willing to bet within a year, my parents will realize they dun fucked up.

[Gerbs]

I guess I don't understand how someone goes from having money troubles - > to giving up a lease to family for a bailout.

Then they proceed to get a new lease that costs MORE than the last one. Did he magically 2-4x his income lol.

[SkunkWorks]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

I guess I don't understand how someone goes from having money troubles - > to giving up a lease to family for a bailout.

Then they proceed to get a new lease that costs MORE than the last one. Did he magically 2-4x his income lol.

Sounds more like poor financial management and/or scamming/pressuring dad to take the old and swapping for new with no penalties or consequences.

I'm really sorry to hear this GS8. That is not how family should be treated and is incredibly frustrating.

[JDMDreams]

Can you throw it on those lease busters websites? It honestly seems like a waste of money, especially on fixed income.

[spoon.ek9]

kind of related to the original topic, how often do you guys hear about people living way outside of their means?

within the car community, i have heard about young guys taking out $25K loans so they can modify their car right away and not have to wait. I've heard about friends' now exes who ran up their credit cards to the tune of $50K debt. most recently, I know of someone who used a line of credit to secure a 25 day hotel stay rather than rent something affordable. all of this is of course related to their desire to live a life worth posting while paying no attention to the consequences. I dunno about you guys, but I refuse to live like that lol. I couldn't give two shits about projecting wealth or in this case, fake wealth.

[Badhobz]

Why would anyone do that kinda shit. If you don’t have the money don’t spend it.
I think a lot of us first gen immigrants had that lesson beaten into us by our parents so we never spend outside our means.

But the kids nowadays who didn’t get this lesson might run into financial problems. They should have a class in high school about fiscal management and personal finances instead of drilling woke ass homo shit into the kids brains. Not that there’s something wrong with that, but less gender equality shit and maybe more teaching little Timmy on how not to blow 25k when he doesn’t have it

[Hondaracer]

So I had a thought about this relating to growing up

Growing up I’d say almost all my friends parents were of fairly modest means, middle class people, with mostly “regular” jobs. Some may have had higher profile jobs but I don’t think anyone was making more than say, 120k back then. I think 100k was a huge point back in the early 90’s/early 2000’s even.

However, there were definitely a group of parents who lived that keeping up with the joneses lifestyle. There were 5-10 families I knew through elementary school who ALWAYS sold their homes, moved into the “new” neighborhood as they subdivided more and more in our hood, they needed to show how well they were doing etc. a lot of them would also always have the new car, go on big family vacations with these other families, and generally just seem to live this lifestyle of keeping up with one another. My parents never cared to be in these circles and mostly kept with their own adult friends as opposed to becoming friends with my friends parents.

Well fast forward 20+ years and almost all these families are either A) living incredibly modest lifestyles in the home they lived in forever now, or B) actually living quite poorly after making decisions to sell/downsize those homes they flipped or maybe couldn’t afford earlier in life. A lot of these people lived very flashy lifestyles as mentioned above, but now I occasionally talk to old aquaintances or see posts by their parents on FB etc. and none of them are really living a happy retired life doing the typical retiree stuff. It’s moreso like you blew your load early in life and now you live in a Langley condo watching TV all day.

Whereas my parents, who always lived within their means are now living an amazing life getting ready to retire, always travelling, supporting grand kids, still own a big home, have substantial retirement savings etc. outside of their home, and are generally very happy in their situation.

I think it just goes to show, to spoons point, that portraying an image of success or wealth early on in life just sets you up for being miserable later in life when you actually are forced to live within your means because there is literally no other option.

[twitchyzero]

always a balancing act: plan well including that you might also go any day

enjoy the process

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by Hondaracer

Whereas my parents, who always lived within their means are now living an amazing life getting ready to retire, always travelling, supporting grand kids, still own a big home, have substantial retirement savings etc. outside of their home, and are generally very happy in their situation.

The modern day problem is that too many people are living too much within their means. An example could be all the parents that have money but don't want to spend it in retirement, they wanna save it for their grand kids and that makes you wanna do the opposite.

I see far too many people who have 1-5+ properties but still struggle with the idea of spending some $100 - 400 more to travel during high season or buying some lifestyle comforts. They'll collect an $4.25/person e-transfer from everyone when they buy a cake for a birthday. I feel like even before you have retirement level money, you should be taking care of your family and friends.

I also find it interesting how an "amazing life" can differ from generation to generation. The older generation never really lived, they worked and their idea of an "amazing life" is stability. Whereas I view everything through the lens of the "grand kid" and value doing every experience possible while I can. The older generation shames and questions why we decide to live so good, or do all these activities when we should be saving money and staying home.

Which makes so no sense, because it seems like all these old people are saving money for their kids / grand kids. But they also don't like it when we spend our own money or theirs lol.

[JDMDreams]

Honestly it's all education, were your parents smart about money? Most people who swam over on a boat didn't know much besides just save. Stonks? Investments weren't as big of a thing back then and it's still very scary to many people. You might as well tell them to go to the casino. You're telling them to grasp an invisible theory.

I think the Canadian mentality is gonna fuck us over once these kids grow up. Everyone is a special snow flake. Everything is about how they feel. There seems to be no right or wrong anymore. And no one is a failure. Like the whole sogi thing. They can identify as what ever they want. They can identify that they are rich. It makes everyone so entitled. I was speaking to a principal about this and they said that the bigger problem is that there are no more letter grades. You can be some needs development bs. But you can't fail no more up until like grade 10 I think. This teaches kids that there's no longer any accountability for anything. If you go broke just declare bankruptcy. It's all about you you and you.

[underscore]

Originally Posted by Badhobz

But the kids nowadays who didn’t get this lesson might run into financial problems. They should have a class in high school about fiscal management and personal finances instead of drilling woke ass homo shit into the kids brains. Not that there’s something wrong with that, but less gender equality shit and maybe more teaching little Timmy on how not to blow 25k when he doesn’t have it

I had some classes like that, maybe they weren't very well done but I remember not really learning much from it because a high school kid has no concept of what real life costs.

[Hondaracer]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

The modern day problem is that too many people are living too much within their means. An example could be all the parents that have money but don't want to spend it in retirement, they wanna save it for their grand kids and that makes you wanna do the opposite.

I see far too many people who have 1-5+ properties but still struggle with the idea of spending some $100 - 400 more to travel during high season or buying some lifestyle comforts. They'll collect an $4.25/person e-transfer from everyone when they buy a cake for a birthday. I feel like even before you have retirement level money, you should be taking care of your family and friends.

I also find it interesting how an "amazing life" can differ from generation to generation. The older generation never really lived, they worked and their idea of an "amazing life" is stability. Whereas I view everything through the lens of the "grand kid" and value doing every experience possible while I can. The older generation shames and questions why we decide to live so good, or do all these activities when we should be saving money and staying home.

Which makes so no sense, because it seems like all these old people are saving money for their kids / grand kids. But they also don't like it when we spend our own money or theirs lol.

My dad is first generation Canadian my mom is second, I’ve told both of them I’d rather them spend all their money then leave us anything. My siblings might disagree but it’s their money, they should enjoy what they’ve worked for

[CivicBlues]

We've been harking about "teach kids proper finance and budgeting skills in elementary" since I was in elementary and probably before that.

Maybe it's in the best interest of "the economy" and the 1% that the vast majority of the population remain spendthrift rubes. Ever think of that?

[EvoFire]

Originally Posted by Hondaracer

So I had a thought about this relating to growing up

Growing up I’d say almost all my friends parents were of fairly modest means, middle class people, with mostly “regular” jobs. Some may have had higher profile jobs but I don’t think anyone was making more than say, 120k back then. I think 100k was a huge point back in the early 90’s/early 2000’s even.

However, there were definitely a group of parents who lived that keeping up with the joneses lifestyle. There were 5-10 families I knew through elementary school who ALWAYS sold their homes, moved into the “new” neighborhood as they subdivided more and more in our hood, they needed to show how well they were doing etc. a lot of them would also always have the new car, go on big family vacations with these other families, and generally just seem to live this lifestyle of keeping up with one another. My parents never cared to be in these circles and mostly kept with their own adult friends as opposed to becoming friends with my friends parents.

Well fast forward 20+ years and almost all these families are either A) living incredibly modest lifestyles in the home they lived in forever now, or B) actually living quite poorly after making decisions to sell/downsize those homes they flipped or maybe couldn’t afford earlier in life. A lot of these people lived very flashy lifestyles as mentioned above, but now I occasionally talk to old aquaintances or see posts by their parents on FB etc. and none of them are really living a happy retired life doing the typical retiree stuff. It’s moreso like you blew your load early in life and now you live in a Langley condo watching TV all day.

Whereas my parents, who always lived within their means are now living an amazing life getting ready to retire, always travelling, supporting grand kids, still own a big home, have substantial retirement savings etc. outside of their home, and are generally very happy in their situation.

I think it just goes to show, to spoons point, that portraying an image of success or wealth early on in life just sets you up for being miserable later in life when you actually are forced to live within your means because there is literally no other option.

I know people who are like that, but they are rare amoung my friends. Most of my friends are quite grounded actually and there's two guys who's hobby is making more money and min-maxing life.

The one couple who I would say spends without thinking - the gf totaled her Mini and wanted to buy a Audi/Mercedes. This is a 38yo woman who has zero assets to her name and negative equity in her Mini which she had to pay off after ICBC paid her out. The guy is 35, buys electronics and cars on a whim but yet won't spend money on things that matter/makes his life easier. He does have a condo with a manageable mortgage so I'll give him that. They ended up trading in his ND2 Miata for negative equity, for a M340 together. They actually need two cars as they work in opposite ends of the city and he's required to go back into the office starting Feb, so I dunno lol

[twitchyzero]

we learned dividends and interest grade 7 elementary

high school: it was like a minor subsection maybe less than a 3 months term

but no mandatory class at the time taught us about taxation

[AzNightmare]

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

kind of related to the original topic, how often do you guys hear about people living way outside of their means?

within the car community, i have heard about young guys taking out $25K loans so they can modify their car right away and not have to wait. I've heard about friends' now exes who ran up their credit cards to the tune of $50K debt. most recently, I know of someone who used a line of credit to secure a 25 day hotel stay rather than rent something affordable. all of this is of course related to their desire to live a life worth posting while paying no attention to the consequences. I dunno about you guys, but I refuse to live like that lol. I couldn't give two shits about projecting wealth or in this case, fake wealth.

Seems very common, especially in the car community where people in their 20's are blowing their savings on cars and mods. Too often you hear people saying they gotta wait for their paycheque this coming Friday before they can afford that part. Then you have the guys who are bouncing between new rides every few years, or owning multiple cars. I have always wondered how much does this set people back when they get into their 30's.

[noclue]

I blame social media for making people do dumb shit with money for "clout" whether it's cars, vacations, homes etc
#builtnotbought

[Gerbs]

I remember hearing people can't drive somewhere cause no gas $$$ while they wait for their $300 gas cap to arrive.

[twitchyzero]

Originally Posted by noclue

I blame social media for making people do dumb shit with money for "clout" whether it's cars, vacations, homes etc
#builtnotbought

no one goes to robson st just to rev their engine in traffic anymore?

[Badhobz]

No, that shit is reserved for Persians in their lambros

All the mini Greta thurnburgs comes running out of the woodwork as soon as you rev while idle