REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

PeanutButter · 12-19-2023, 03:19 PM

We're all around 40 now and i'm not sure if it's because of our age or because of covid, but it feels like there is a huge income disparity amoung my friends these days. Or maybe it was always there and I didn't realize it.

I just found out one of our really good friends doesn't hang out with us anymore because he can't afford to. It's not like we go to super extravagant dinners, but it would probably be like $40-$100 for the night out.

Another buddy apparently owes almost everyone in our group money (including me) to some degree or another. What's really bad about this friend is that he still spends money on stupid shit. His latest move was to ask my buddy to grab him a ticket to a show which was like $150 and he's not paying him back.

And now that I think of it, I look at my group and you can really see the income disparity, We're all highschool friends, so the demographic of the group is pretty diverse.

The more I think about it, the more sad I get. I know money isn't the be all end all, but in our city, money is a huge stress for so many people.

I'm not really sure what's to be done about this, but just curious if you guys are in a similar boat with your friends?

68style · 12-19-2023, 03:30 PM

It depends on the people involved and their personality I think... my best friend lives in Calgary nowadays and he recently bought a 2022 GT3, he's way richer than me, sometimes he does come up with ideas we could meet up somewhere and I'm not poor, but it will be a bit extreme for me and I have to decline not because I can't afford it but because it just wouldn't be prudent for me to. We find other stuff to do.

Badhobz is way better off than me or most anyone I know, but he never makes anyone feel like it you know what I mean? I hang out with him I don't feel like he's flaunting and he likes luxury goods but he doesn't look down on anybody.

I'd say not paying people back for concert tickets and stuff isn't even a friends who has income disparity... that's just a bad friend and probably should be cut loose. I wouldn't stay friends with someone if they didn't pay me back for something like that and I don't think anyone I call a friend would do that in the first place.

I do have 1 friend in Los Angeles who is terrible with money and much older than me, he borrowed nearly $3,000 from me fairly recently and I knew when I loaned it to him that i would probably never see that money again... but in my heart I accepted it and he gave me a chance at a journalist job 20+ years ago when nobody else would, so I felt like I owed him at least the opportunity to get on his feet... to no one's surprise he hasn't and he's back asking people for $ again but it's really hard especially when people are older to break their habits or make them realize they can't keep doing things the same way and expect different results. I would say I am not anywhere near as close to him anymore and that I probably would hesitate to hang out with him again if I'm in Los Angeles just because of the awkwardness of his situation nowadays.

bcrdukes · 12-19-2023, 03:46 PM

Good guy Badhobz
Secretly a millionaire but treats everyone like they're from the streets of East Van

I don't know if this is a case of income disparity or if this friend of yours just makes questionable decisions with their money.

Hondaracer · 12-19-2023, 03:52 PM

Peanut butters insecurities thread finally manifested

murd0c · 12-19-2023, 03:55 PM

Most of my friends are much older then me (late 40's to mid 50) and all of them are well over with some being multi millionaires on top of the properties they own. We go to concerts together hit up a pub but most of the time it's just local house parties with a fire in the back yard.

I'm sure it has to do with all of them being white and living in Maple Ridge but it's nice that I can still do what I enjoy doing and not worry about how much money I have. Also I find the richer my friends are the less money they want to spend locally, they use the baller money on their month long vacations to Italy and around the world they go on once or twice a year.

Also sometimes you need to drop $400.00 on a concert ticket, I spent that on Chris Stapleton last time he was here floor front row and it was incredible. I'm not even a fan of country music lol

Razor Ramon HG · 12-19-2023, 04:03 PM

Unless you know exactly how much your friends are making, they could just be bad with money, have other priorities instead of blowing $100 on a meal, or be a shitty friend in general.

mikemhg · 12-19-2023, 04:10 PM

This forum makes me feel poor as fuck on a daily basis, whereas around my friends I don't really ever feel that way. We all do fairly decently, but not extravagantly.

The only other place that makes me feel as broke as RS does is at Burning Man in our camp full of trust fund/crypto/tech Taiwan/LA/San Fran Asians.

Don't let RS fuck with your mind PeanutButter, this place is a fishbowl of wealth

CivicBlues · 12-19-2023, 04:21 PM

I go on RS and I instantly feel like shit about my financial standing.

Then I go read reddit and I feel all better all of a sudden.

JDMDreams · 12-19-2023, 04:24 PM

I think family backing is really starting to show, you can really tell by who's still renting, in a condo vs living in a detached. With the friends that I actually still hang out with you can see that we're all doing better, but I don't think anyone is self made multi million bad hobz rich yet.

Hondaracer · 12-19-2023, 04:30 PM

The gap with almost every single person I know comes down to whether you own a home or not. Doesn’t matter if your first home has become your “forever” home, people who have a home they own, almost regardless of mortgage status are more free with their spending and habits.

Everyone else seems to be stuck in this weird limbo deciding whether they continue to rent or not.

I have a good friend who went to work in Alberta early on pre-2008 or so, he was making 100k a year filling up water coolers. Fast forward and he passed on numerous opportunities to buy detached homes in walnut grove, cloverdale, etc. now he’s got 500-700k in the bank but now can no longer afford the balance of a mortgage so he’s kinda fucked.. he’s generally an indecisive person but now it’s really are you gonna buy a townhome in the lower mainland or are you gonna move east and buy a house.

Timing is everything

EvoFire · 12-19-2023, 04:34 PM

I don't really think about it because I'm probably the one that's the most broke with a giant ass mortgage. I have friends that make less but they don't have to think about paying a mortgage.

I don't see my old friends very much because we are at different life stages and that's the bigger road block than anything else. The friends we hang out with more often now all have kids around the same age as ours and they are more or less at the same financial state. We all have a house or duplex with a brutal mortgage, we all roughly make around the same and deal with the same BS.

Badhobz · 12-19-2023, 04:42 PM

i always think its better to not let the economic situation dictate venues or hangouts. As long as everyone is comfortable i dont care if its just hanging out at a KFC parking lot (YOURE ALL DEAD!!!) or a Michelin crossclimate2 sponsored restaurant.

To be honest i rather prefer KFC as it just feels right and who doesnt love a greasy chicken leg (thrown at you).

PB if you got friends who arent that well off, you guys should think about their needs and maybe choose a place that's not 100 bucks a pop. I know its hard nowadays when you can easily break 50 bucks a person for just pho, but i think its the hanging out that matters and not so much the food/venue.

I had a great time on doing Tuesday movies for 8 bucks and sneaking in my own bubble tea / food. Will probably do that again this coming tuesday to go see that ferrari movie. Ya'll welcome to join as always.

Hondaracer · 12-19-2023, 04:45 PM

It’s not like Vancouver has virtually any ultra high end restaurants, bars,etc. anyways. I guess that speaks to the economic climate though

You could go to the fanciest restaurant in Vancouver, have their biggest multi course meal, order a $400 bottle of wine, and still be under $1000 easy.

JDMDreams · 12-19-2023, 04:46 PM

Why KFC? Why not churches, jolly bee pinoys or chicken world. But then you might get shot at at chicken world.

Razor Ramon HG · 12-19-2023, 05:00 PM

I recently had this spicy chicken thigh from KFC. Not sure if it's new, but it's the first time I had legit juicy KFC in Vancouver that was on par with Churches.

JDMDreams · 12-19-2023, 05:10 PM

KFC has always been dry and salty and not as crispy. Kinda like pizza hut so I've wondered how they are still around.

Great68 · 12-19-2023, 05:29 PM

Why does a hangout always need to involve some sort of expensive outing?

I invite my buddies to my house, they bring a case of beer. We drink the beer and shoot the shit in the back yard for several hours. That's all we need to do.

Maybe my parents rubbed off on me, because this is how they'd hang out with family/friends all while I was growing up. Whatever night either they were the guest, or they were the host. They'd bring a bottle, beer, and just blab away for hours, often solving the world's problems. If that family had kids, they'd drag us along so we could play too.

It was extremely rare that they'd ever make some sort of external activity with other people.

supafamous · 12-19-2023, 05:55 PM

Hang out with the poors? No way man.

TypeRNammer · 12-19-2023, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Badhobz

To be honest i rather prefer KFC as it just feels right and who doesnt love a greasy chicken leg (thrown at you).

KFC?!

At least Churches Chicken, Mary Brown's, Jollibee!

Worse case scenario, Pop Eyes

bcrdukes · 12-19-2023, 06:17 PM

You guys missed out on the KFC parking lot fight!

Badhobz · 12-19-2023, 06:17 PM

im with you guys, but KFC is where i go to fight a bitch.... i still rather eat this garbage than say a 200 dinner at miku and pretend i know what o-toro is.

i saved the bucket from the last MEAT (Kunty Fight'n Chicken)

Hondaracer · 12-19-2023, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Great68

Why does a hangout always need to involve some sort of expensive outing?

I invite my buddies to my house, they bring a case of beer. We drink the beer and shoot the shit in the back yard for several hours. That's all we need to do.

Maybe my parents rubbed off on me, because this is how they'd hang out with family/friends all while I was growing up. Whatever night either they were the guest, or they were the host. They'd bring a bottle, beer, and just blab away for hours, often solving the world's problems. If that family had kids, they'd drag us along so we could play too.

It was extremely rare that they'd ever make some sort of external activity with other people.

I think for a lot of people, going out is exactly that, some kind of social status BS, even though it’s just literally throwing money down the toilet at a cactus etc.

I find generally friends and I will go out to a pub etc. just so we don’t have to think about making food etc. generally that leads to going back and drinking more at someone’s place anyways.

Also I find it’s just nice to go out. Wife and I had like a date day on Saturday, went to main did some shopping, had some drinks and lunch, ubered to Granville island to walk around check it out and have some more drinks and then went to a dinner reso at Peppinos. Nothing was crazy expensive but unfortunately in this economy shot adds up pretty quick. But it’s just nice to go out and do sonthing as well. Spend a lot of time at home during the week during winter etc. so gotta get out sometimes

whitev70r · 12-19-2023, 06:32 PM

Almost always, the disparity comes as a result from going to $10 pp dinner vs. $100 pp dinners over time.

Badhobz · 12-19-2023, 06:41 PM

So then just grab a 13 dollar dominos pizza and go to some dudes house. For guys it should be pretty easy. The challenge would be if your wives are involved. Then they don’t want to eat a trashy meal and hence the budget goes up.

I’ll eat McDoubles with trollface everyday

TypeRNammer · 12-19-2023, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeanutButter

Another buddy apparently owes almost everyone in our group money (including me) to some degree or another. What's really bad about this friend is that he still spends money on stupid shit. His latest move was to ask my buddy to grab him a ticket to a show which was like $150 and he's not paying him back.

I knew of someone that always asked to borrow money in my old circle of friends. Unfortunately I made a dumbass decision to actually lend it to him, this was back when I was in my very early 20's.

Weeks and months go by and it was tumbleweeds without a peep, then out of the blue he invites me to his birthday at a venue. It had a door cover charge. So when I showed up, I asked him to pay for it which he made a stink about it. Then I had to remind him and put him in his place that he still owed me money. Luckily I had a small hand of close friends that were there and I hung out with them for the rest of the night.

Never talked to him after and considered him a write off.