BIC_BAWS Adventure Thread

[Hondaracer]

Think that has more to do with addiction than ADHD

Although I’ve found myself virtually unable to read books anymore lol

[Badhobz]

Can you adhd mother fuckers go back on topic?!?!? Oh wait….

So if your folks are gonna retire soon then you and ideally your brother too, needs to plan out a path to ensure you guys don’t lose the house.

You got a wee bit of time so you gotta make a plan.

Old fucks can get on the government tit. My mom and dad are both on OAS GIS CPP and they clear around 3k a month. That’s enough for them to eat and pay the bills since they were thrifty anyways. The mortgage is taken care of already so they live okay with 3k a month. Factor that into financial calculation

So if around 600k you still are doing 4-5k a month on mortgage and that means you should ideally have a combined income of 6-7k a month net. I mean even with these kind of numbers you’re barely keeping your head above water but it’s doable. So that’s a 100k a year job needed.

Either do your job currently, which you loath, and supplement with some gig economy stuff, or retool into a field that’s in demand. You can get a 100k a year trades job relatively easily in Vancouver or even in Calgary. Like I said conductors are short everywhere.

https://www.linkedin.com/mwlite/jobs...Od_6NdHj6NIEoA

These fuck faces cheaped out. Used to be 10k signing bonus. Apply and I’ll help you study for the test and even show you the ropes. I still got a lot of conductor friends.

——————

As for off ing yourself. I’m sure most of us have all thought about it at one point or another.

Like you, I also don’t care if I live or die. It’s weird because my wife is deadly afraid of dying because she feels like she hasn’t spent all her money and then it’s gonna go to our fuck head nephew lawl. You know what keeps me grounded and still alive ? My wife. I feel obligated to take care of her. I made her dad a promise I’d take care of her and i don’t break my promises. I give her shit all the time but I’d do anything for that woman. Same with my chihuahuas… wruhh chihuahua now. I might not have much to live for myself, but I gotta keep living for others.

It might just be a Chinese guy thing…. I watch a lot of YouTube videos were the dudes all look like they want to end it. Or have similar thoughts.

Not to down play your situation. I’m just saying it’s okay to have these sorts of thoughts… a lot of us do. It’s also okay to recognize these are probably not healthy thoughts and basically a red flag to come in and take a pit stop.

[Hondaracer]

I also think paying down a mortgage and prioritizing that is such an old school way of thinking. If you’re on a variable rate and you get back down to 3.5 or lower, you’ve gotta start making fewer payments on the mortgage and more into a portfolio.

This again is a scenario where you parents are likely going to drag down your future if they have the mindset of mortgage over everything. My parents, now in their mid 60’s, one of their biggest regrets is having thay mentality as opposed to building wealth when money was cheap.

When they were both working they had a household income of over 400k and for the last 5-6 years have focused on growing wealth as opposed to paying off their mortgage completely. They still carry a minuscule mortgage but they’ve VASTLY increased their retirement savings by prioritizing investments over their mortgage.

If you’re parents aren’t into that and just continue these double payment, lump sum, mortgage reducers, honestly this is a great way to stay average/poor forever imo.

[bcrdukes]

It's time to reconsider your career path to something more stable and that allows you to earn more. $60K out of school in Vancouver is ok for a few years, but it is not sustainable long term. You eventually have to be your own man and do your own thing. You don't need to burden the responsibilities of your parents for the rest of your life, so mutually, you both will need to learn how to go on your own respective paths, while keeping close as a family.

[noclue]

Originally Posted by Badhobz

Can you adhd mother fuckers go back on topic?!?!? Oh wait….

So if your folks are gonna retire soon then you and ideally your brother too, needs to plan out a path to ensure you guys don’t lose the house.

You got a wee bit of time so you gotta make a plan.

Old fucks can get on the government tit. My mom and dad are both on OAS GIS CPP and they clear around 3k a month. That’s enough for them to eat and pay the bills since they were thrifty anyways. The mortgage is taken care of already so they live okay with 3k a month. Factor that into financial calculation

So if around 600k you still are doing 4-5k a month on mortgage and that means you should ideally have a combined income of 6-7k a month net. I mean even with these kind of numbers you’re barely keeping your head above water but it’s doable. So that’s a 100k a year job needed.

Either do your job currently, which you loath, and supplement with some gig economy stuff, or retool into a field that’s in demand. You can get a 100k a year trades job relatively easily in Vancouver or even in Calgary. Like I said conductors are short everywhere.

https://www.linkedin.com/mwlite/jobs...Od_6NdHj6NIEoA

These fuck faces cheaped out. Used to be 10k signing bonus.

My coworker was telling me about his time working at CP rail in Poco as a conductor during the pandemic.. wow it's some scary/thrilling shit and good chance losing a leg if you forget to put the brakes and the car starts rolling away and you gotta run and jump on. Also you're on call like 24/7. When can you start driving the train?

Also translink will pay your class 1 + air brake endorsement with decent pay.
Diamond mines in Northwest Territories or the Oil Sands in Alberta do 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. Good pay with overtime but it's not for everyone. A guy I know just chills and monitors the automated trucks and override as necessary.

[Badhobz]

I only recommended him to be a conductor because it’s still a job he can do locally and without previous experience or schooling. He’ll be a locomotive engineer in 3 years and easily clear 150k after 5 years. You just gotta be careful and take care of yourself physically. The hours are brutal (on call 24/7 on the spare board) and that’s why so many get washed out. You just gotta make it past 3 years and then you’re good.

Translink bus driving is also a good gig. Way safer too. I got no connections there but maybe RS can help you.

[Traum]

I really couldn't sum it up better than Badhobz has, so I would encourage you to read his reply again another 3x bcos there is just so much wisdom and truth in there that you want to soak up on.

From the outside, I can see a couple of potential options that I think you can consider. They are not recommendations -- just potential options that I think are worthwhile to consider.

Housing situation
With your brother's plans to move down to the States, I see an opportunity that you can consider -- with one less person in the house, you may no longer require as much space as you do. So if prices for your detached has risen enough, there might be an opportunity for you (and your parents) to move back into a smaller and more affordable place. If such a move can free up some cash flow for you, I think it would be a big help to your situation. Or as another potential options, one of your current woes is the amount of time you are losing to your commute, and the soul-sucking nature of the commute. If you can move back into a place that is closer to the city, cutting down your commute time could potentially be a god-send for your mental health in more ways than one.

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Well life insurance wouldn't pay out on suicide.. but if it's fine if I died today. At least my parents won't have to worry about the mortgage, my policies will pay it off. I'll die without having experienced "true love" (or have had a lot of sex) but I know my friends love me, so that's good enough. Can't win em all.

To me, this is a red flag. You need to be mindful of this because most normal people -- esp not at your age -- won't consider the implications and consequences of what might happen if you die. In particular, you used the "suicide" word, so that makes the red flag stand out even more.

I am not saying you have suicidal thoughts. But for most people, even a serious contemplation of suicide suggests things are not going alright. You want to be mindful of where your stress levels are at, and try making changes that can relieve some of those stress on a permanent basis. (But temporary stress relief are just as important too.)

The Grind

Yeah this isn't what my life looks like. I have a 45-1.5 hr commute daily, it's fucking awful, and lowkey making me a racist.

It's work. Go home. Smoke a bunch of weed to put up with the bullshit at work and what I call "life". End up in a deeper hole. Watch some porn to help me fall asleep (yes porn addiction is real and probably causing some of my probs too). Go to sleep. Repeat.

I have zero interest in dating (or pussy) bc I haven't been great to be around - I'm miserable.

Your daily routine here is so similar to mine almost 20 years ago. At one point, I would be working and travelling between Surrey, Coquitlam, and DT Vancouver all in the same day, and it was absolutely brutal. And it is almost exactly as you have described -- Go to work. Go to a different work place. Go to yet another different work place. Go home. Get back on the computer to do more work. Fit meals somewhere between all those times -- I was eating a LOT of Subway during those few years. Sleep for anywhere between 4 - 6 hours. I always tried to give myself an hour or two of free Internet surfing / mindless video gaming time on Fridays because I knew I needed the break, but even then I would feel guilty bcos I knew I was running so behind on work.

Rinse and repeat for a year because that's how long my contract was with one of the companies I was working for. It was soul sucking at first, and soul destroying after the first few months, and things just kept on getting worse. I was always tired even though I was still in my mid/late 20's. When the company didn't renew my contract at the end of the 12 month term, I was actually glad that I was able to get out of that hell loop.

And of course, it goes without saying that I had no interest in anything other than food and sleep during that period. I was tired. And miserable. When the contract ended, I vowed to myself that I'd never put myself through that sort of hell ever again.

Car Life
I know you don't have any real interest in parting with your FK8 atm. Potentially, you want to know that there could be a lot of upsides to trading that out in exchange for something cheaper to help with the financial situation. As AstulzerRZD has said, the FK8 is on a pretty good depreciation curve, so you don't stand to lose much even if you sell.

For me, I grew up driving slow cars. Even now, my pos Mz2 is as slow as it can be. Perhaps because of that, even though I love acceleration, I am OK if the car is not fast. Pulling lateral g's have always been more fun to me, and my old cars reflect that -- Miata, ES1 Civic, Mz2. And these cars have always been ultra reliable, so my operating costs have generally been low.

But I know my cars have been slow. Cheap, fast, reliable. Pick 2. I left the fast out, and I consciously chose that.

I know you enjoy your track days. I do too, and I would never dissuade you from attending them. That said, this is what I have done to keep my track day costs as low as I can.

Shortly after I got hooked, I volunteered to help with VCMC's track day program. I was a general helper / photographer at first, and later helped to run the program for a few years. It was mostly only running at Mission, but I did get some free track time as a result of that. Also, the only track days I paid to attend were the winter ones at Pacific Raceway at the time. They were significantly cheaper than the normal summer track days, and there were fewer cars and more seat time than the normal summer ones as well. I was probably doing that for 3 years before my schedule wouldn't allow for that anymore.

Times and the landscape are certainly a little different now, but I know Ridge winter track days are still a thing. (And maybe also Pacific Raceway too.) So potentially, that might be something you can consider.

And when the car is slow, all your consumables last longer too LOL~.

Money

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Exactly. I make 60K lol. And honestly who the fuck am i gonna date with $90 in my acct lol

I have been piss poor and/or cash strapped most of my life. Even now, my cash flow is very poor, but not having $$$ have never completely gotten in the way of my dating life. It is nice to take a girl out where you have to spend a bit of money, and being able to spend would certain make a lot of things easier, but there are also lots of free / cheap things you can do to have a nice date. And most important of all, the girl(s) that you want to meaningfully spend time with won't care about how wealthy you are.

Also, I 1000% agree with what Badhobz is saying here:

Originally Posted by Badhobz

You being this miserable is also affecting your pussy game. You losing interest in the chase because you’re stressed. Once you fix that big powder keg problem then your disposition will
Improve and the pussy will cum-ith.

On the work front, an example to consider is Dark. I'm not saying you should quit your job now and go into car sales. At the same time, I don't think you should feel trapped or obligated to stay with your current job. Look around in the job market. Are there other positions elsewhere that offers a better pay? Are there public sector jobs that offers a similar (or maybe even slightly lower) pay, but would likely be less stressful and/or have lower time demands than your current job?

More often than not, we are creatures of habit, and we may get complacent. So if you don't make any attempts to change, the situation is unlikely to change.

Again, good luck. And don't stress yourself out.

[RabidRat]

Just saying, the conductor thing sounds super fun. Sounds like a hell of an adventure, and a reason to stay in shape.

Btw, a caveat to my opinion on what defines a "high value" person: I also think we have to be realistic about what we can afford to give of ourselves.

If we're maintaining a sprint just to give others everything we got, eventually we collapse, and then we're providing no value at all. I suppose life is a marathon, and we have to take care of ourselves in order to keep taking care of others.

It sounds to me like you've inadvertently dug of yourself so deeply to help your family's desire for a payoff, that you're just kind of sunk right now. I hope you consider the compromise option to move back into a more affordable place til you're back on your feet. Btw - short of that - can you rent out your basement or anything? Or heck, even a room or two to student(s)?

[red kryptonite]

That was a heavy read. I’m sorry to hear you’re in the situation you are in, Bic
I’m glad to hear you don’t have any suicidal thoughts. I don’t want to say it’s ok to not care if you live or die, but you’re not alone in having those thoughts. I am on the same boat. I don’t care but would like to live long enough to make sure my parents are taken care of in their old age.
If downsizing isn’t an option. With your brother moving away, have you considered taking a roommate to help out with the mortgage? Is there a livable space in the basement or something you can rent out?

[The Producer]

i think that there is some cultural stuff in here that I won't pretend to understand.

i will say this w the utmost respect: you are not responsible for your parents.

that's just not the deal. yes - you want them to be happy and healthy, but at what cost? bro if you have things you want to do with your life - i promise you they want you to do that.

find somebody to rent your room? - get a portion (or maybe all) of your 33% covered by somebody else. maybe your parents could host a student? - they might really enjoy that. you hang onto some equity and you get your freedom.

otherwise nothing is really going to change. that's fine if you're into it - i know people that are more than happy to do what you are doing now. but it doesn't sound like it's for you.

hang onto that entrepreneurial spirit. I went out on my own when i was in my 20's and I've never (really) looked back. being your own boss is incredibly liberating. it's tough too - but i wouldn't change anything about it.

hang tough homie

[Hehe]

Looking through the thread, I think many advice already offered are solid. This is truly the beauty of RS. We might disagree on shit, but eventually all come together when needed.

As for input from my own perspective, I just want to add, put whatever negativity you might feel into driving force.

When I was in sales, I hated the job. I was away for more than 1/3 of the year easily and had to do super long hours (ever done back to back trans-pacific flying? Like right after you land kinda b2b). But I grind through it. The pay was good (rent subsidy, employee car and very lucrative incentive if I closed a deal) and I needed it. I knew a lot in CRE, but in order to really start my own thing, I needed cash. I turned that hate of my job into doing anything I could to close a deal. I just kept going and didn't stop until my son was born where I found the incentives no longer outweighed the cost of losing the ability to see my son grow up.

A lot of your stress or dissatisfaction seems to come from money. As my dad would often say, any problem that can be solved with money is never a problem. It's just where to get the money. And my suggestion is, get your shit fucking together instead of making an explanation or justification for it.

House is what it is. I don't see much to do about it because it's a necessity. It's not like you guys are living in a mansion when a simple place would do. With you bro leaving, I might see a possibility of renting out the room or do homestay.

Car is something that I see can make a change... get a beater or an used EV and it would significantly push down your car-associated cost assuming you drive enough. Put it on Finance/Leasebuster.

Job is also something to make some change about. You said it yourself that you are in robot mode. Why not do a different robot that offers higher stability? Conductors in both CP/CN/Translink are always an option. With C-1 license it even open doors to many other things. But the key here, regardless which option was "patience". And this is going to go a long way, which I will add later. Many jobs suck monkey balls the first few years, but once you pass that stage, everything become so easy and simple.

Pussy game will eventually follow as you become more stabilized on all things. Dating for guys is like wine, it usually gets better as it ages. Look no further than Hobz where he has Ferrari-driving chick wetting herself.

The keyword is "self-improvement" but that takes time, and hence patience. How do you become a better version of yourself? My go-to guide is something taught by a mentor of mine. He said... "you should spend an hour improving yourself every single day at least. It doesn't matter what it is. Whether it's to read a good book, taking care of your personal hygiene/look, work on some side gigs... etc". It doesn't sound like much. But it had helped me immensely the last decade or so.
Cut everything that stands in your way right now (car payment, mortgage by rent a room out... etc) and focus. Give it a few years and see what it's doing to you.

Too often, especially with social media, we get so obsessed on "nice" life. What you don't see is the story behind it. So, cut those shit out and focus. Eventually, if you keep improving yourself, all that nice things in life will follow. But if you focus first on nice things, your life will always be miserable because you are always looking at that thing. But with enough effort, you will see that all those nice "things in life" people post on social media, trips, cars, pussies will be more like "what should I do today?"

High value in my opinion is being able to not give a fuck. Anyone who still needs their job, or depends on other things or person, IMO is not a high value person. When you are high value, you choose what you want to do and what you want to chase. But if you depend on others for whatever... it means your value is not high enough.

[The Producer]

Originally Posted by Hehe

Anyone who still needs their job, or depends on other things or person, IMO is not a high value person. When you are high value, you choose what you want to do and what you want to chase. But if you depend on others for whatever... it means your value is not high enough.

"depending on others" is a fundamental part of success and happiness.

friends, family, colleagues. Working with and supporting people is the definition of high value.

[Hehe]

Originally Posted by The Producer

"depending on others" is a fundamental part of success and happiness.

friends, family, colleagues. Working with and supporting people is the definition of high value.

The fuck you yapping about?

By dependent I mean that you cannot sustain your life if the only way to do that is that you need your daddy’s money, your job or whatever that is.

I never said that you don’t need F&F, but if you have to be totally dependent on that person’s or that thing, you are not yet there. This can be financially, emotionally and whatever in between.

I share my everything with my family and I chrish every moment of it and they are my only source of motivation. But if I have to rely on my dad’s handout to buy my toys or worse yet, provide a life to my family, I don’t think I’m anywhere near high value.

I don’t think I’m a high value person yet as I still depend on things I do to live the life I want. But I know people who really cannot give a flying fuck about anything and just concentrate on what they love, be it work, f&f or whatever. And that’s a person I consider as the ultimate definition of high value. They might not be all that well off. But they reached a place in life where they just do what they love and don’t need to consider anyone else’s opinion about him/her.

[bobbinka]

BIC_BAWS, it sounds like you got in way over your head. You came from one life, wanted to live the better life, but was not prepared for what the consequences were (how the mortgage weighs on you and affects your life decisions, how taxing the long commute is, how a 9-5 job wears you down).

Everything everyone else has said here is great, self improvement, talk to people, make connections, change careers for better opportunities, etc, but it doesn't address your problem in the short term.

I'm going to tell it to you as it is and you're not going to like it. You live paycheck to paycheck, have $90 in your account, and was late on a car payment. My friend, it's time to make some serious re-evaluations in life and address the problem before it spirals out of control. I've worked collections before. Once you fall behind, it becomes exponentially harder and harder to catch back up. You need to deal with this now. How long before it's a late mortgage payment? What happens if you, mom, or dad, get sick for an extended period of time or someone gets laid off? What if interest rates skyrocket to 8% when you need to re-finance?

I don't know how big your house is or what your mortgage payments are, but whatever it is, it's too much. You need to live within your means. You frame it as wanting your family to own their home etc, but the reality of it is that it's what you wanted. I'm sure mom and dad would be perfectly fine living in a 2 bedroom condo or smaller townhouse if it meant their kids could actually live their lives happily. You need to sit down with mom and dad and admit that your plan did not work out. If it means selling the place and downsizing together, or living separately in rentals, then so be it. You do what needs to be done. I'm sorry if that means you dont get to have a garage anymore.

I know this is a car forum, and everyone loves a CTR (I assume Civic Type-R), but you need to sell the car and stop financing. People make twice what you make and drive $30k-$40k cars. You've had your fun, you have pictures on the Gram to prove it, it's time to move on. Get into a cheap reliable car. You don't need a race car to be a car enthusiast. It's not forever, it's to help you get by until you have the means to live big in the future.

Expensive hobbies are for rich people. Does your bank account look like it belongs to a rich person?

You know the difference between the people who recover from these situations and those that spiral out of control until they declare bankruptcy? They COMPROMISE, take responsibility for their problem, and make big life changes to start dealing with it. Those people who cant recover are the ones who have an excuse for everything. They MUST have a brand new $100k pick-up truck, because they need it for work (when a used cheaper one would do). They MUST order take-out because they're too busy to cook. They MUST have expensive sushi because that's the only joy they get each week. They MUST keep the boat because it's almost paid off anyway. The people who fix their shit will eat mac and cheese everyday if they have to. They'll downsize, move to an older building, or move to a different city. They'll meal plan and find the most cost effective way to survive and still be healthy. Yea, it fucking sucks and it's not easy, but they get their life back on track and can actually live freely again.

You know why you're miserable? Because you are/were a cocky arrogant person (as you said) who was over confident in himself, so you think you're the shit and the decisions you make are great, and now when it's falling apart, it's fucking hard to swallow. I'm sure these tough times, while watching your friends succeed in life, are humbling though.

Live. Within. Your. Means. I promise you you'll be so much happier without the fear of defaulting on mortgage/car payments hanging over your head every waking moment of your day. Get that shit in order first, THEN focus on getting into a career that has opportunities to move up. Years later, when you are actually at an income level to support those other things, THEN you get to have a nice race car, go tracking, get uber-eats every day, and own a home with a garage. Not everyone has cheat codes to skip to the good stuff.

Stop comparing yourself to the old farts on here who won the lotto when they bought their house in 2008 when you were still in diapers, or the guys who have slaved away at their careers for 15-20 years to get where they are, or the assholes who came from rich families. Stop comparing yourself to your friends, who you thought you were better than at the time that you had successful businesses, but are now successful cause they've worked their way up in life. Everyone has their own path in life, some go in straight lines, some zig zag, some go backwards before they go forward again. But in the end, we all end up in the same place. It's not a race. So live YOUR life, not what you think would look good to others. Travel YOUR path and own it.

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by bobbinka

I'm going to tell it to you as it is and you're not going to like it.

Actually, I do like it. Hell I "pay" someone to sit in my car and literally yell at me all day. I tell people the cold hard truth all the time to support them and to be honest it's why I don't really tell people my problems because they just say "oh you're doing fine" or "it's fine you're young". No, the softness while appreciated doesn't work for me because I can't give myself the satisfaction of being ok with an excuse. Yes, I have been very complacent in 2024 but I normally don't give myself a chance to even fester in my thoughts. Weed is not good when you are not good. Anyway, you're free to treat my replies as an excuse or justification but this is kind of how I work out problems in my head via discussion. You're definitely not going to like my replies.

Originally Posted by bobbinka

You live paycheck to paycheck, have $90 in your account, and was late on a car payment. My friend, it's time to make some serious re-evaluations in life and address the problem before it spirals out of control. I've worked collections before. Once you fall behind, it becomes exponentially harder and harder to catch back up. You need to deal with this now. How long before it's a late mortgage payment? What happens if you, mom, or dad, get sick for an extended period of time or someone gets laid off? What if interest rates skyrocket to 8% when you need to re-finance?

Lifestyle inflation is a bitch. 60K/yr was definitely doable when I didn't have home expenses AND well my cars were paid in cash. Albeit, they broke all the time and in the course of 3 years, I spent probably 30K on it. Purchase price 10K. $40K in 4 years but living comfortably. Which is the same cost as the CTR. I'm already at worst case scenario and I have worst case scenario plans that I just need to execute.

And tbh I get asked this all the time, idk how it works, but I always make it work. It's really just the unexpected track crash that threw off my cash flow and being too fucked on weed (as a result of other factors) to finish projects (which is how I normally funded my car hobby).

Originally Posted by bobbinka

You frame it as wanting your family to own their home etc, but the reality of it is that it's what you wanted. I'm sure mom and dad would be perfectly fine living in a 2 bedroom condo or smaller townhouse if it meant their kids could actually live their lives happily. You need to sit down with mom and dad and admit that your plan did not work out. If it means selling the place and downsizing together, or living separately in rentals, then so be it. You do what needs to be done. I'm sorry if that means you dont get to have a garage anymore.

You're not wrong. As much as it's framed that way, there is an inherent selfishness to it which I'm constantly fighting between trying not be selfish by doing the right thing (in all aspects).

My dad is a hard liner for not paying for strata bc of the usual cons re strata, so TH/condo is out of the question automatically. Tho my dad was more than happy to just keep living in our (shitty) home environment. Mom, OTOH, really wanted a place and at the time we received notice for our office.

Requirements:
- Must have legal suite (mtg requirement)
-- Therefore SFH (which is why in 2020, in the RE thread, I considered moving to Aggasiz and making the commute. Which you guys told me it's a fucking awful idea and I listened. Bless you guys)
-- Suite is used for office (but tbh underutilized)
- Double car garage (my only requirement)
- Renovated (my parents' requirement bc they didn't want to do renos [big fu to EI renos tho fr])
- Min 4 bd, 3 ba (mom likes to have in-home office as well)

Honestly having experienced home ownership and living in a TH for most of life, I would rather pay strata to take care of all this shit I have zero experience in dealing with. ie. the most recent storm a branch fell down and I thought it was a tree falling down... so I called an arborist to remove something that could have easily been done myself. Tho at that time it was, idc how much money it costs, this needs to come down today or it'll fall on the power line/house.

I'll revisit the legal suite topic below as many others have discussed downsizing and/or renting something out.

Originally Posted by bobbinka

You don't need a race car to be a car enthusiast.

It's not this. It's I like the self improvement I get from driving better. I treat track days as education or self growth. I set a goal (not time related) for every track day and I work on improving in those aspects.

One of my lifelong dreams is to start a charity that gives underprivileged teens the opportunity to experience this. I am 100% serious that I would not be alive without this "hobby" or community I got into. I enjoy building communities, making connections, and ultimately giving. I'm not gifted in driving. If I don't start making connections NOW and get decent at driving, this won't happen ever.

Plus which business doesn't love charitable donations for tax purposes AND they get a good rep for it. It's like when green-washing was big.

Originally Posted by bobbinka

Expensive hobbies are for rich people. Does your bank account look like it belongs to a rich person?

No. But, I don't buy clothes (I'm wearing the same jacket from 8th grade). I don't have any other hobbies, I don't travel, etc. I don't spend unnecessarily. It's literally just track period. I don't buy parts because it's a new car, it works out of the box. And yes there are consumables to consider, but I buy 3 owner old tires to track on. And my fluids/pads are all free for the rest of my life, thanks FCPEuro.

I should cut out my vaping habit once I'm in a better work environment. I depend on it to not walk out everyday or punch my boss. Often, our disagreements are so extreme that it looks like a father yelling at his son. Once I cut my vaping habit, it'll free up ~ $200-$300/mo.

I will cut out dining out. I do it out of fomo and the social aspect. I don't know how much this costs but I eat like I'm rich (price is irrelevant, not paying for shit food is) so there is likely a significant saving there.

I am not anticipating attending any track days in 2025. I might give in for a fire sale day, so I don't want to promise that.

Originally Posted by bobbinka

You know the difference between the people who recover from these situations and those that spiral out of control until they declare bankruptcy?

I disagree with all of this. Those examples you listed are for weak minded people who I was all of 2024. You talk about COMPROMISE, but on the other token, you know how I fix this? I make more money. I do the projects I should be doing and I should be finding more clients. I have plenty of free time so I should be using it to earn more. 100% in agreement with Hehe on the money and high value individual aspect. Like I said, I don't know how but I always make it work.

I'm in this situation because I didn't plan for burning out and falling behind on projects.

Originally Posted by bobbinka

You know why you're miserable? Because you are/were a cocky arrogant person (as you said) who was over confident in himself, so you think you're the shit and the decisions you make are great, and now when it's falling apart, it's fucking hard to swallow. I'm sure these tough times, while watching your friends succeed in life, are humbling though.

Technically, my friend said it. I don't see it. But it is true that I'm having a difficult time with accepting that my plans aren't working out. I'm in Ops and have a background in accounting/consulting, so my nature is to meticulously plan everything and find the most optimal path to achieve it without too much lag time or redundancy. This goes for everything in my life, I'll touch on this in the next post re: actionable items.

Originally Posted by bobbinka

Stop comparing yourself to the old farts on here who won the lotto when they bought their house in 2008 when you were still in diapers, or the guys who have slaved away at their careers for 15-20 years to get where they are, or the assholes who came from rich families. Stop comparing yourself to your friends, who you thought you were better than at the time that you had successful businesses, but are now successful cause they've worked their way up in life. Everyone has their own path in life, some go in straight lines, some zig zag, some go backwards before they go forward again. But in the end, we all end up in the same place. It's not a race. So live YOUR life, not what you think would look good to others. Travel YOUR path and own it.

I value the opinion of the old farts on here because they have 20 years on me, so they must have gone through some shit. I value Hehe's opinion because despite how much of a nepobaby he sounds like, based on what I read, it's not that. I value his opinion because entrepreneurs think differently.

Hell, it's easier for me to vent here because while I'm known, it doesn't feel like I'm crying for attention on my own social media like a basic bitch tumblr girl. And it beats reddit, because over the years it's not that anon and context is important to me. You can't call me out for not being honest and transparent.

I can't tell my friends because well I'd be a broken record and I don't want to be that ask-hole. Whereas, here, whatever. What are you going to do? Ban me? I need time to process and this is my second big thread re: burn out this year here. I'm at the point now where I think I'm ready to start building again.

And yes, this seems like a drastic change from a few days ago. But I didn't realize how much actually verbalizing it or putting it into text helps me clear some burden and per Westopher/Producer how unrealistic I am with holding myself to these standards and expectations. Thank you guys for all the support. Seriously. You're all internet people, but I value your experiences and I appreciate you for putting time and thought into helping me work out my problems.

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by Hehe

I know people who really cannot give a flying fuck about anything and just concentrate on what they love, be it work, f&f or whatever. And that’s a person I consider as the ultimate definition of high value. They might not be all that well off. But they reached a place in life where they just do what they love and don’t need to consider anyone else’s opinion about him/her.

High value is being content. I'm content with dying alone and just having my friends. It would be nice, but it's not the end of the world. Being able to be generous with my time and money is more important. Ultimately, that's all I need.

Again, I don't see the social media standard of "high value" to be unachievable. It's unrealistic for most, but it's not impossible (for me). It's more the personal relationships (very transactional) and self growth outside of the business that I found I was missing in my early 20s.

Originally Posted by Hehe

When I was in sales, I hated the job. I was away for more than 1/3 of the year easily and had to do super long hours (ever done back to back trans-pacific flying? Like right after you land kinda b2b). But I grind through it. The pay was good (rent subsidy, employee car and very lucrative incentive if I closed a deal) and I needed it.

Job is also something to make some change about. You said it yourself that you are in robot mode. Why not do a different robot that offers higher stability? The key here, regardless which option was "patience". And this is going to go a long way, which I will add later. Many jobs suck monkey balls the first few years, but once you pass that stage, everything become so easy and simple.

It's a bit different grinding and being in a shit environment for 60K vs several figures. I don't mind grinding. I just need to get paid decently to grind. I keep saying this but, I miss my early 20s. I went full time into building businesses and as you know yourself, that is a fucking grind. Me and my partners were good at it, but we got burnt by a lot of "good at first, now a nightmare" clients. Then COVID hit and then I bought a place, so my priorities shifted to showing steady income working for someone else for mortgage requirements.

I'm not stranger to the grind. If I could, I would put bookkeeping experience since I was 8. And accounting experience since I was 12. I didn't start client management until 18 due to perception. And I took on my own clients at 20. If I could, I would put dealmaking, PE, and consulting on as well. But it's a bit hard to show that on a resume when it's not a full time job for unnamed company that isn't owned by you or parents. Hell at 22, my partners and I launched a client onto the TSX.V.

I definitely was working more than 40 hours a week across all these things. And I'm not listing all these things as wow I accomplished so much, I just don't like being told (not anyone necessarily) that I haven't been working hard enough my entire life when it's really I have been slacking in the last 4 years because of circumstances and tbh I just want to see what it's like being on the other side in a 9-5 (it sucks).

Well it sucks on both sides - as a business owner, we take on all the risk. I can make all the pitches put in all the effort and make nothing. But I have and will always pay my people fairly. As an employee, you take the short end of the stick for everything except for no risk cheque every two weeks and most people (not me) get benefits (health/dental/RRSP).

Originally Posted by Hehe

As my dad would often say, any problem that can be solved with money is never a problem. It's just where to get the money. And my suggestion is, get your shit fucking together instead of making an explanation or justification for it.

I touched on this above and in prev post. 100% agree. I need find where to get the money and just do it. Circumstances aside, an actionable item that I've gotten from this discussion over the last few days is that I need to get back on the horse and be an entrepreneur again (eventually full time, just not now).

[BIC_BAWS]

Alright, actionable items. Do I....

1. Finish projects (~4 outstanding) that I know I will be paid for. (Interest on LOC doesn't bother me because I know once I finish these projects, it'll wipe it clean)
2. Find a new job as that's long term and once hired it's an immediate effect on my cash flow.

I can't do both at the same time because I "tried" that all of this year, got stuck in the semantics and did neither.

Resume
I've worked on this over and over again. I have a "finished" product but to me it's a cop out. My gripe with it is that it's not a true reflection of everything I actually manage at my day job or side jobs elsewhere. I don't want to submit it because it doesn't feel authentic and I don't feel like it's the best reflection of me.

I treat this job search like a project. Create a WBS. What do I need to do to get this done? How can I do it with best practices in mind to give me the most optimal outcome? What's the most efficient way to do this to reduce redundancy? If I'm putting the effort in to switch jobs, I should be identifying KPIs and hitting them.

The problem with how I function is that I get stuck on not being able to optimize or hit my best practices targe... and then I end up doing nothing. I've been "searching" throughout 2024, but I probably only applied to 2 and I don't feel like my resume hits the best practices mark so it's kind of a wasted application/burnt opportunity.

Further to this, I want to take this opportunity to explore different (not vastly different like trades or 100% commission based sales) career choices as this is part of my "optimal outcome". The worst case scenario is that I find a job in accounting. I would hate it, I'm not trying something new, and I know it's a waste of my effort since job hunting is such a big task so I want to find something I'll enjoy. OTOH, I can't imagine it being too difficult with my experience and I'll definitely be getting paid more than $60K, if not at the very minimum get dental benefits.

I'm aware that this is kind of insane, so what should I prioritize?

Anyway, I clearly have enough free time to be up at 4AM (can't sleep) and be typing this, so I guess I'll tackle the projects first... since I'm stuck with the resume.

[Badhobz]

Those office jobs are hard to get nowadays and not necessarily financially rewarding. Like if you look at the amount of work those cpa’s do, their per hour drops to a minuscule amount. Work vs effort.

I wouldn’t 100% rule of trades if I were you. It might just be the kick you’re looking for to get you out of your rut. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is insanity.

Take a break from the weed and the vape. Detox yourself and see if you can come up with a list of alternative jobs you would like to do. Then let us know and maybe someone on here has connections to said positions.

Regarding your resume:
It doesn’t matter what you put on it. It’s a piece of paper that is often filtered by digital algorithms for the “right” candidates. What your resume needs to do is to put you in a position for an interview. That means it needs to have all the keywords they are looking for. ChatGPT is a good tool for this and then just add in all the buzz words from the job ad. Even if you don’t know what it is or you have never done it before. It doesn’t matter. It’ll get your foot in the door.

Once you get that interview, This is where you need to shine.

Job interviews are a lot like dating a woman. If you’re good at dating you’re good at interviews. Selling yourself is an art. Your personality is often more important than your skills and qualifications. As long as you can make them think you’ll fit the team dynamics, and you’re capable of learning, they’ll go for it.

[bcrdukes]

With an ops and accounting/finance background, you are under valuing yourself. Start looking, start networking, stop hanging out with your track buddies because they won't get you that job. I'm sure they are great people, but they aren't the ones who will get you where you need to be.

I can't even get an interview at McDonald's when Badhobz told me to get off my dumb ass. Here I am. Stuck in Toronto for life.

[Tapioca]

The good thing about 60K is that it's an entry level salary these days. You can easily find a entry-level job that pivots your skills and experience into a different industry or sector, without any further hit to your day-to-day finances.

Trades aren't a bad idea, honestly, and you'll learn how to better maintain your detached house if you're dead set on holding onto it for the long-term.

My own recommendation would be to use your accounting background to find a role in a not-for-profit. There are lots of them around closer to home that are more than willing to pay someone like yourself half-wages for their needs. You would at least save some commuting time to free up your time and mind for other pursuits and a way to get your mental health back in order.

Dukes is right - your track buddies aren't going to help your professionally. Feel free to DM if you want to toss around some ideas over a cup of coffee.

And yes, use AI as a thought-starter for your resume, which is what everyone does these days.

[Hehe]

Only one suggestion for resume, lie the crap out of it. If you know how to do something at 30%, make it 100. If you know how to do something at 100, make it 400.

There’s no shame in it. Everyone does it to a degree. Why not go all in?

Of course, you wouldn’t want to straight lie about something you know nothing about, but for things you know, make the most out of it.

[bcrdukes]

Fun fact: One of my track buddies helped me land a job offer at a Big 4, but the opportunity was blocked by both legal teams due to a major transaction between the firm in question and my employer, so that was bust. Having said that, I should heed my own advice. Stupid track buddies.

In all seriousness, this was a situation of the value of people I did my track days with, and to your original question, it boiled down to their value as a person. I volunteered with the track team and optimized their registration process, day-of-registration flows, and their track communications plans. He saw the value in what I was able to offer and after a few discussions, he made a recommendation to several partners at his firm. I wasn't even actively looking for work.

Your transferable skills are valuable in other industries, and Tapioca is right. Not-For-Profits are a great place to pivot to and I am certain there are a handful within your very own community. Consider volunteering as a way to network and to transition out. Attitude is everything. You are cognizant of your attitude and perhaps it could use some refinement, so treat it as a project to improve yourself. Reach out to Tapioca. His time is worth more than gold itself.

[N.V.M.]

ffs type much everyone

[sonick]

From what I've followed even though bicbaws is I'm a tough position with his family and living situation on a $60k annual salary, but I can't get over the cars he's owned given the financial situation he's in.

They are way nicer than anything I've ever owned and am nowhere near the type of challenges that bicbaws has faced.

[unit]

i have a friend who is a car guy but really shouldn't be. works one decent job, maybe makes 75k or so there, then works part time for his buddy that he rents a room from in the evenings.
he has 1-2 cars that are always new and always changing. his situation has been the same for as long as i've known him, literally almost 20 years now.
if he quit working for his buddy and stopped buying cars, guy would have moved out a long time ago, maybe finally met a girl and had a second income, started a family, etc...