BIC_BAWS Adventure Thread

[Eff-1]

I guess I'll just say this:

When it comes to choosing a career path, you need to choose what you'll enjoy doing over and above solely how much money it pays. If you're already saying now that you'll be miserable doing accounting, then don't even consider it. You won't survive waking up everyday being miserable at work without it causing serious problems later in life (relationships, health, etc).

I understand it was being an entrepreneur, but if the mortgage is preventing that, then find the next best thing. Like me, I wanted to be a pilot more than anything. But my eyes became terrible and we had no money for pilot school. What can you do. So I found another passion. It takes time but you'll figure it out, but you need that mindset to get there.

The other thing is you gotta accept the fact that your current financial situation isn't allowing you to do the things you love most. Track days??? Get the fuck out lol. Of all the hobbies in the world, that's like the most expensive of them all with huge financial risk on top of it. The fact it makes you happy so it's worth doing is unrealistic.

Find new hobbies that make you happy that don't require all that debt. I know it's hard to hear, but what can I tell you. Sometimes it sucks to suck. Deal with it and stop digging yourself into a larger financial hole just because it makes you happy. Same with the weed and vaping.

[Eff-1]

Sorry one more thing:

I bet if you asked every single person here who is quote unquote "successful" :

Are there things in life you really, really wish you could be doing, but aren't, because you realize you can't afford it, or you can afford it but have other pressing priorities?

I'm going to guess 99% would raise their hand YES. (The 1% are super rich who don't worry about money, ever).

Something to think about next time you're at the track, or vaping $200 - $300/mo while complaining about $90 in your bank account! Can't have it all.

[bcrdukes]

Track days are expensive. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are either a big fat liar, richer than you, or just very rich (or a combination of all three.) Agreed on getting out of it. You tried it. You crashed. You learned. Time to move on.

[RabidRat]

Originally Posted by sonick

From what I've followed even though bicbaws is in a tough position with his family and living situation on a $60k annual salary, but I can't get over the cars he's owned given the financial situation he's in.

They are way nicer than anything I've ever owned and am nowhere near the type of challenges that bicbaws has faced.

My hypothesis: it's a mental wellbeing thing.

If you're perpetually feeling low with seemingly nothing to look forward to, then going all-in on an aspirational car would be like pounding back powdered donuts when your blood sugar is just constantly cratering.

There are so many options with way higher $-to-happiness conversion efficiency, but when you're riding the low end of the joy curve, I can see how his options would be limited. At least he's not doing hard drugs: that would be the unrecoverable deep end of the curve.

[AstulzerRZD]

FWIW I get it - car is your way out of a house you don't enjoy spending time in and a taste of freedom.

[Hondaracer]

You know what’s the best thing I’ve ever felt for my mental well-being?

Not being worried about having the money to pay for bills or the mortgage lol

Having a buffer of funds to float between pay periods and mortgage payments etc. is the best thing you’ll do for your mental health.

Unlike EvoFire I’m likely years away from being “cheque to cheque” but with that said, if I have to worry about payments coming out and not having the cash there, that stress alone in the allotment of my accounts is bothersome.

On paper I’m balling af compared to most my age, but my car is worth 15k and it’s got 200,000km lol :shrug:

[CivicBlues]

BIC BAWS...don't take this the wrong way but just based on your long rambling post I feel like you may have some more deep-seated anxiety issues at play here. Issues that aren't really healthy and won't really get resolved by getting a higher paying job or being more frugal with expenses.

I'm not saying just dive deep into psychotherapy right now but maybe take a step back and see if you can talk to someone about this even look into some free mental health resources available in the health system.

[RabidRat]

BIC_BAWS: it feels so much like you've overcooked the entry and you've got a wheel hanging off the track. But by a miracle you've kept the other 3 tires on the black and now you're at corner exit: it's tight, you're not sure if you're going to smack the wall, the tires are spinning, shit it's gonna be a close one.

Fuck's sake, I think it's hooking up though: I think you're gonna make it .

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Alright, actionable items. Do I....

1. Finish projects (~4 outstanding) that I know I will be paid for. (Interest on LOC doesn't bother me because I know once I finish these projects, it'll wipe it clean)
2. Find a new job as that's long term and once hired it's an immediate effect on my cash flow.

I can't do both at the same time because I "tried" that all of this year, got stuck in the semantics and did neither.

Resume
I've worked on this over and over again. I have a "finished" product but to me it's a cop out. My gripe with it is that it's not a true reflection of everything I actually manage at my day job or side jobs elsewhere. I don't want to submit it because it doesn't feel authentic and I don't feel like it's the best reflection of me.

I treat this job search like a project. Create a WBS. What do I need to do to get this done? How can I do it with best practices in mind to give me the most optimal outcome? What's the most efficient way to do this to reduce redundancy? If I'm putting the effort in to switch jobs, I should be identifying KPIs and hitting them.

The problem with how I function is that I get stuck on not being able to optimize or hit my best practices targe... and then I end up doing nothing. I've been "searching" throughout 2024, but I probably only applied to 2 and I don't feel like my resume hits the best practices mark so it's kind of a wasted application/burnt opportunity.

Further to this, I want to take this opportunity to explore different (not vastly different like trades or 100% commission based sales) career choices as this is part of my "optimal outcome". The worst case scenario is that I find a job in accounting. I would hate it, I'm not trying something new, and I know it's a waste of my effort since job hunting is such a big task so I want to find something I'll enjoy. OTOH, I can't imagine it being too difficult with my experience and I'll definitely be getting paid more than $60K, if not at the very minimum get dental benefits.

I'm aware that this is kind of insane, so what should I prioritize?

Anyway, I clearly have enough free time to be up at 4AM (can't sleep) and be typing this, so I guess I'll tackle the projects first... since I'm stuck with the resume.

I feel your frustration. Please keep in mind though that perfection is the enemy of good. Imo you're going to have to lower your standards to take your first shot, and let it be a series of smaller steps rather than one huge perfect one.

If you put too much of your energy and hope into one or two major shots, it's going to leave you exhausted and unwilling to make those [perhaps many more] next attempts.

I'm doing ok in my career now, but it came out of 5 straight months of:
200 job applications -> trickling into 20 phone interviews -> trickling into 8 on-site interviews -> resulting in 3 job offers. That was 200 separate applications.

My resume started out super shitty but I just kept refining it as a continued applying and interviewing. It's a long process of iteration and the crucial step is to build the momentum. The other critical steps I bet you know more about than I do - being you were an entrepreneur - learning as you go, and getting back up more determined than ever to keep going, after a door shuts in your face. There are more doors, you have to keep going for them.

You are really motivating and inspiring me with your journey. I genuinely wish you the best in this.

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by Eff-1

The other thing is you gotta accept the fact that your current financial situation isn't allowing you to do the things you love most. Track days??? Get the fuck out lol. Of all the hobbies in the world, that's like the most expensive of them all with huge financial risk on top of it. The fact it makes you happy so it's worth doing is unrealistic.

Find new hobbies that make you happy that don't require all that debt. I know it's hard to hear, but what can I tell you. Sometimes it sucks to suck. Deal with it and stop digging yourself into a larger financial hole just because it makes you happy. Same with the weed and vaping.

Late to the party on all of this but this is the part that I think needs to sink in: that Bic is in over his head financially and needs to make changes starting with the car and the racing hobby (and maybe the house). Isn't the adage about tracking a car that you should only track something you can afford to write off? I don't see how you can afford to write off the CTR with your financial situation.

The 20s are indeed a time to be a bit financially irresponsible but there are limits and/or there is a price to be paid later. I think you're trading one kind of happiness for another kind and it's not paying off at all.

There's happiness to be found when you have financial stability/freedom that will outweigh the happiness of tracking/owning a car you can't afford to write off. Bic, a couple weeks ago I shared that I'm giving up my high paying job to focus on my health due to my hearing loss - while it was a shitty choice to have to make it was also an easy choice to make b/c over the last few years I've chosen to focus on financial freedom over any of my hobbies (I was on the verge of becoming Trollface but for a Porsche).

It is so liberating to not be trapped due to financial circumstances - I really encourage you to consider making a change that gives you some more freedom and happiness - I think you're flying too close to the sun here.

[Hakkaboy]

Originally Posted by sonick

From what I've followed even though bicbaws is I'm a tough position with his family and living situation on a $60k annual salary, but I can't get over the cars he's owned given the financial situation he's in.

They are way nicer than anything I've ever owned and am nowhere near the type of challenges that bicbaws has faced.

Unfortunately some people are just more willing to spend money they don't actually have than others.

The cheap credit available even pre-covid certainly doesn't help either.

[bcrdukes]

Originally Posted by CivicBlues

BIC BAWS...don't take this the wrong way but just based on your long rambling post I feel like you may have some more deep-seated anxiety issues at play here. Issues that aren't really healthy and won't really get resolved by getting a higher paying job or being more frugal with expenses.

I'm not saying just dive deep into psychotherapy right now but maybe take a step back and see if you can talk to someone about this even look into some free mental health resources available in the health system.

Re: Higher paying job - I've seen a few within my professional circle who ended up making a lot of money along with hot shot job titles etc. With the jump in their salary and meteoric rise in the corporate world also came a lot of vices.

I have witnessed first hand their downfall as a result of their decision to abuse hard drugs (notice I said abuse, not use.) The crash is hard, and I don't think they've been able to recover. You have to be careful for what you wish for. More money does not always lead to more happiness.

There's sage advice on exploring mental health options, and I'm siding with CivicBlues on his observation. Highly consider the option.

[RabidRat]

Originally Posted by bobbinka

BIC_BAWS, it sounds like you got in way over your head. You came from one life, wanted to live the better life, but was not prepared for what the consequences were (how the mortgage weighs on you and affects your life decisions, how taxing the long commute is, how a 9-5 job wears you down).

Everything everyone else has said here is great, self improvement, talk to people, make connections, change careers for better opportunities, etc, but it doesn't address your problem in the short term.

I'm going to tell it to you as it is and you're not going to like it. You live paycheck to paycheck, have $90 in your account, and was late on a car payment. My friend, it's time to make some serious re-evaluations in life and address the problem before it spirals out of control. I've worked collections before. Once you fall behind, it becomes exponentially harder and harder to catch back up. You need to deal with this now. How long before it's a late mortgage payment? What happens if you, mom, or dad, get sick for an extended period of time or someone gets laid off? What if interest rates skyrocket to 8% when you need to re-finance?

I don't know how big your house is or what your mortgage payments are, but whatever it is, it's too much. You need to live within your means. You frame it as wanting your family to own their home etc, but the reality of it is that it's what you wanted. I'm sure mom and dad would be perfectly fine living in a 2 bedroom condo or smaller townhouse if it meant their kids could actually live their lives happily. You need to sit down with mom and dad and admit that your plan did not work out. If it means selling the place and downsizing together, or living separately in rentals, then so be it. You do what needs to be done. I'm sorry if that means you dont get to have a garage anymore.

I know this is a car forum, and everyone loves a CTR (I assume Civic Type-R), but you need to sell the car and stop financing. People make twice what you make and drive $30k-$40k cars. You've had your fun, you have pictures on the Gram to prove it, it's time to move on. Get into a cheap reliable car. You don't need a race car to be a car enthusiast. It's not forever, it's to help you get by until you have the means to live big in the future.

Expensive hobbies are for rich people. Does your bank account look like it belongs to a rich person?

You know the difference between the people who recover from these situations and those that spiral out of control until they declare bankruptcy? They COMPROMISE, take responsibility for their problem, and make big life changes to start dealing with it. Those people who cant recover are the ones who have an excuse for everything. They MUST have a brand new $100k pick-up truck, because they need it for work (when a used cheaper one would do). They MUST order take-out because they're too busy to cook. They MUST have expensive sushi because that's the only joy they get each week. They MUST keep the boat because it's almost paid off anyway. The people who fix their shit will eat mac and cheese everyday if they have to. They'll downsize, move to an older building, or move to a different city. They'll meal plan and find the most cost effective way to survive and still be healthy. Yea, it fucking sucks and it's not easy, but they get their life back on track and can actually live freely again.

You know why you're miserable? Because you are/were a cocky arrogant person (as you said) who was over confident in himself, so you think you're the shit and the decisions you make are great, and now when it's falling apart, it's fucking hard to swallow. I'm sure these tough times, while watching your friends succeed in life, are humbling though.

Live. Within. Your. Means. I promise you you'll be so much happier without the fear of defaulting on mortgage/car payments hanging over your head every waking moment of your day. Get that shit in order first, THEN focus on getting into a career that has opportunities to move up. Years later, when you are actually at an income level to support those other things, THEN you get to have a nice race car, go tracking, get uber-eats every day, and own a home with a garage. Not everyone has cheat codes to skip to the good stuff.

Stop comparing yourself to the old farts on here who won the lotto when they bought their house in 2008 when you were still in diapers, or the guys who have slaved away at their careers for 15-20 years to get where they are, or the assholes who came from rich families. Stop comparing yourself to your friends, who you thought you were better than at the time that you had successful businesses, but are now successful cause they've worked their way up in life. Everyone has their own path in life, some go in straight lines, some zig zag, some go backwards before they go forward again. But in the end, we all end up in the same place. It's not a race. So live YOUR life, not what you think would look good to others. Travel YOUR path and own it.

Holy shit, I just finally managed to read this amazing post.

@BIC_BAWS I know you have a lot of initial rebuttals to what bobbinka is saying, so please try to come back to it over a couple of passes, to accept as much of it as you can over time.

A lot of your response to his post are hard-line "well I simply cannot / will not accept because ___" but you know that objectively there is no way it can be true. Subjectively in your mind it is true, and it will take time to chip away at those beliefs, I'm sure.

When you're financially good and ready, for sure you will have all those nice things back and more.

edit: your brain is wired for it to be hard to let go of things you already have, btw. i hope everyone gives you a break on hard it is to move on, because you are only being human. the only difference between you and them is your reference point has been skewed to the right by what you've been exposed to.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loss_aversion

[bobbinka]

Sounds like he's got it all figured out.

Can we get back to the regular no need to start a new thread thread?

[bcrdukes]

If you guys recall, some girl shat on him because he was renting a place at the time and that was a huge blow to his self confidence. That lead him to buy a place. Congrats to him on achieving that, but as reality has shown, it doesn't work.

Said girl is nowhere to be in his picture anymore.

[68style]

Was tooling around in sunny but cold Calgary in my Miata with the heated seat on yesterday, thought to myself that I could not think of a single reason besides carrying too many ungrateful friends/family members or hauling junk why anyone would need a different car (Calgary's snow not withstanding).

Cheap to buy, cheap parts, cheap to run, cheap to mod, competes at autocross and fun on track especially if you want to push and compete against yourself, not racing Porsche's or GR Supra's or whatever else is out there. If I was broke and wanting to be in the car community and could do it all over again that's what I would pick up.

[unit]

nowadays girls should be impressed that you even can afford to rent something that isn't a bunk bed with 3 other guys. also just don't waste your time caring about what girls like that think. impressing those types of people is truly not worth it.

[bcrdukes]

Guys, c'mon. Vancouver isn't Brampton. Yet.

[unit]

surrey kind of is

[bcrdukes]

I was trying to be polite.

[CivicBlues]

Originally Posted by bcrdukes

If you guys recall, some girl shat on him because he was renting a place at the time and that was a huge blow to his self confidence. That lead him to buy a place. Congrats to him on achieving that, but as reality has shown, it doesn't work.

Said girl is nowhere to be in his picture anymore.

If this is true...big yikes.

If your entire self-worth is shaped by other's perception of you I can't see how this will end well. By all means dig yourself out a financial hole but at this point all this well meaning advice...it's just treating the symptoms not the disease.

I'd have to double down on my call for some serious self introspection at some point soon.

[AstulzerRZD]

just gotta find the chicks who really value character and feels, lots of em out there

tiffany who grew up with daddy issues and a lotta childhood trauma ain't it

[bcrdukes]

Originally Posted by CivicBlues

If this is true...big yikes.

I am mostly wrong with my post, but here you go, sir.

https://www.revscene.net/forums/5389...ml#post9058804

[HonestTea]

Originally Posted by Eff-1

I guess I'll just say this:

When it comes to choosing a career path, you need to choose what you'll enjoy doing over and above solely how much money it pays. If you're already saying now that you'll be miserable doing accounting, then don't even consider it. You won't survive waking up everyday being miserable at work without it causing serious problems later in life (relationships, health, etc).

I understand it was being an entrepreneur, but if the mortgage is preventing that, then find the next best thing. Like me, I wanted to be a pilot more than anything. But my eyes became terrible and we had no money for pilot school. What can you do. So I found another passion. It takes time but you'll figure it out, but you need that mindset to get there.

The other thing is you gotta accept the fact that your current financial situation isn't allowing you to do the things you love most. Track days??? Get the fuck out lol. Of all the hobbies in the world, that's like the most expensive of them all with huge financial risk on top of it. The fact it makes you happy so it's worth doing is unrealistic.

Find new hobbies that make you happy that don't require all that debt. I know it's hard to hear, but what can I tell you. Sometimes it sucks to suck. Deal with it and stop digging yourself into a larger financial hole just because it makes you happy. Same with the weed and vaping.

Completely agree, out of all the hobbies, this one is probably one of the most expensive.

Why not try out sim racing? If it's good enough for Max Verstappen, it'll be good enough for you. That might be a good compromise until you're better off financially to do actual racing.

[bcrdukes]

SIM racing ain't cheap either

https://axonsim.com/sim-center/sim-center-info/

[SkinnyPupp]

I can't tell BIC how to be a baller like everyone else here who have great educations, worked hard when they were young, or were simply born into wealth. I can tell him what NOT to do through experience, to the point where I was homeless for almost a year.

Saying things like "I need to do track because it's the only way I feel normal" and shit like that.. that is DELUSIONAL. I mean that literally, not as an insult. You do not need any hobby to make you "feel normal" let alone one that is way out of your financial means. A lot of people (99%+) have to go through life without expensive hobbies. Stuff like that, and buying a house you can't afford, has put you in this position.

What you should do is read Bobbinka's post over and over again until it gets through to you. Based on your reply, that hasn't happened yet, so keep reading it. To me, that's the best advice. This is coming from someone who is not a baller but has been in a VERY VERY bad spot, for quite a while (and never really fully out of it), to someone who looks like they are about to be there.