Shit My S/O Says
 

As we all know, in relationships, a lot of things are said. Some are really funny and some are just fucked up. Share some of your stories, could be something you, an ex, current S/O or even your friends & their S/O's said in relationships/during dating. Let's have some fun with this :)

I'll start.

text from bf #1: "man, i wish there was a app where i could send you scents."
*5 mins pass, smiling thinking bf wants to send flowers*
text from bf #2: "because you have to smell my pits right now, it's like major B/O."


LOOOOOL!! That's love :fullofwin:

him: "in 10 seconds you are going to have 175 pounds of love floppin' on you"

best sex announcement. ever. :lol

on par with.. bf: "it's only rape if you forget to yell surprise first"
LOL WTF !!! gf was like WHO ARE YOU hahahaha fuck

ex gf: "I want to have 2 boyfriends. If I get into a fight with one, then I can go to the other one and vice versa"

"My brother's dick is long, skinny, and he has no pubes"

:suspicious: ............

^ HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S FUCKING GROSS :lol

"i love you" :alone:

jk, inb4someonecallsmeamoodkiller

so cute though. young love :tears: i feel like shitting rainbows.

i said that in a sarcastic way.... LOL

"no I'm not interested sorry ... stop it, no! EWW GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP! PUT THAT AWAY OMFG SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE THIS GUYS AFUCKING PERV!"

Closest I ever got to finding true love .. after a short stint in jail and meeting big ruth .. well .. ive said too much.

SO: "You mean it's not Dark Vader? but he's on the dark side..."

stop fuckin pinching my meat!

"If you ever come for another bitch i'll kill you." (During sex)

very scared.

At a pub,

Gf: "Hi, we would like to order a pitcher of cocaine."

Me: "wtf?" :seriously:

Waitress: :denied:

Me: "you mean kokanee?" :rukidding:

She rarely drinks...

Watching a fucking movie at home

her:"who is that? why did he do that? when did he get that? BLAH BLAH BLAH"
me:"just watch and you'll find out!...see? only had to wait 30 seconds for the movie to explain for yOU!"

watching a movie in the theatrs
her:"............."
me:"............."
AFTER THE MOVIE
her:"i dont get it, can you explain it to me? why did that person do this to that"

we have been together for 8 years next month(and still very much in love) , i think i deserve a klondike

hahahah yoo my parents still do that. my mom always says that when we watch movies and asks my dad. i tease her though and i'm like "you're playing the inquisitive wife/woman role well, putting your husband in the position of knowing everything.." thus, he feels like a man.
LOL!!! she's implyin you the man, bro! :fullofwin: ego boost :accepted:

at home and gf goes to take a piss and she opens the door to my room to see me with my pants down.

me: " can you suck my penis please? it would make him super happy"
her: :denied: " nope"
me: :okay:


LOL

what's an acute angel?

him: removing tile backsplash. haven't broken one.

me: am i getting a play-by-play today?

him: No. I guess not.

him: babe i'm going to fart
me: *eye roll* ugh
him: *farts* ohh yea
me: ewwwww
him: hehehe
us: hug and kiss

you should dutch oven him, no announcements :hotbaby:

real love holllaaaaa!

*sees pictures of interesting or cute food/activities on facebook/instagram*
"omg thats we're gonna do/go that tmrw"

"can i paint your nails?" LOL

^"Can i pluck your eyebrows? It wont hurt!"

gts

exgf: "why didnt you tell me you got a new girlfriend? if i ever see your new gf im going to punch her in the face"

lol

So someone has still to reconcile their feelings from the breakup.