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Jason,
just a simple critique on your studio stuff. There is too much going on in her eyes. You should try to minimize the amount of catchlights in her eyes down to 1. it will improve the look.
In the 3rd photograph, your softboxes are a little hot at the bottom of her outfit making my eyes look away from the face. In addition, your lighting ratios may be a little low. There isn't a lot of shadow depth to really chisel out the face. A mentor once told me that to have great lighting practice on a cube. The 3 sides visible to the camera should all have different shades. If you apply this concept to your portraits, they should improve dramatically.
Otherwise, keep at it!!!
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