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I've just been really wanting to get this off my chest and its hard to find someone who'd care to hear, so this is perfect.
I hate falling for girls. I hate my natural possessive and jealous personality that makes me question all girls. This all stems from a back breakup/cheating episode years ago, that even though I look back and it wasn't even all her fault, I still have a hard time trusting a girl. I also hate the idea of falling for one girl. Its why I haven't really had a girlfriend in years. Its because I know that in the end it may not work out, being it 3 months down the road or 2 years. I know what its like to lose someone, and that feeling hurts so much that I want to always protect myself.
Why this has come about recently. Well im starting to fall for this girl. I guess were seeing each other right now, and I love being with her. But i hate knowing that in 8 months im traveling for half a year, and I know that feeling when I leave about how im going to be thinking about her non stop. Wanting to know if shes moved onto a new guy and all that jazz. It almost makes me feeling depressed about something that might only happen months down the road. I'm just so confused on what to do with the situation. Do I stay with her now and build an amazing relationship that destined to end in the near future. Or do I cut things off now, and think night after night about how much I miss her and whats she's doing.
And this is were I want to stop....fuck that felt good.
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