[fliptuner]

A bloke was sitting on a bus when a gorgeous woman next to him starts breastfeeding her baby. The baby won't take it so she says, "Come on, eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here." Ten minutes later, the baby is still not feeding so she says again, "Eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here". The bloke says, "Listen, love, can you make your bloody mind up, I should've got off four stops ago!"
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A bloke goes up to a fat chick in a pub. He asks if she's got a pen. She answers him "Yes! As a matter of fact I do". He comes back with "Does the farmer know you've got out?"
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A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense. The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?" "Ever since my wife found it in my car!"