The following is a reply from the anon poster.
Yea, thats the thing that mind fucks me even more, like I said she was a moral person and she said she wanted to save sex until she's married, yet she would be fine with it if she was drunk?? Total bs
I've honestly tried, have only gotten close a couple times, she seems really firm about waiting till she's got a ring. Any tips in this area as well? haha
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Originally Posted by v.Rossi
if you talk to her about this situation as blunt as possible, you're going to look very very insecure. if you do this, i suggest using humor. i'll acknowledge now that this isn't a laughing situation, but you've got to word it so you don't piss her off nor turn her off. don't do this while your head is full of thoughts, do this on a day where you're in a good mood. that may be 2 days from now or 2 weeks who knows, at least you back off and give her space, then bring up this situation.
you also have to realize and accept if she's no longer interested, it's best to pick up the clues and leave before she does. it'll make things easier for you.
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I'll try this approach as well. I think this'll be the best way to approach her. But I'm still not entirely sure if she's really not interested in me.
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Originally Posted by vafanculo
I'm going to give you the insensitive asshole advice.
She's given you the green to go ahead and bang any girl, "drunk". Do it.
Not because you are an asshole, but because she's saying some pretty nasty stuff, and all signs are pointing to her wanting more. Now if you take my advice you will most likely lose her. But chances are you are going to lose her anyways. Atleast if you take my advice, you will be semi distancing yourself from her and when that time comes, you won't be holding up traffic on the bridge as you ponder jumping.
But ya, all I'm saying is those aren't good things to say to a partner. Personaly after hearing that, I wouldn't be as concerned about keeping her, I'd be more looking into the possibilities of dumping her.
Posted via RS Mobile |
Yea this method wouldn't real be an easy method haha. It'll be a daunting task, but it does sound like it'll help me keep her out of my mind/ mine out of hers and she'll get a taste of
her own medicine or w.e. But i'm honestly not this type of person, i wouldn't be able to pull through with it.
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Originally Posted by gdoh
you know its ok if she goes clubbing and what not. my gf goes clubbing without me all the time cuz i really dont like clubbing. it bugged me at first quit abit the thought of losing her, but you just have to trust that she wont do anything. what did she say the first time u asked her if she found some1 better??how many times have u asked her?? ive done that and she just started to get mad that i was thinking that way so the answer got worse everytime so i dont ask cuz it causes problems.
maybe you should think about having sex with her too or bring it up
imho just trust her, spend your weekends with her, treat her well, ask her on dates, and at the end of the night as long as she comes home to you...
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Yea I do trust her, but it's kind of hard to trust the decisions that'll she'll make when she's being influenced by alcohol and the people around her. I've asked her maybe 4 or 5 times now, and I just bring it up once in a while when somethings brought up around the same subject. I try to ask less as I know it'll cause her to get annoyed or something.
Sex is kind of out of the question like I've said at the top. I've gotten close but no cigar
Need some tips on this area as well haha.
I'd be really choked if she were to have sex with someone else and not me for the first time. It's like a big slap in the face and then she sacked me really really hard.
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Originally Posted by 6793026
GAME OVER.
You are from SFU, she's from UBC, she's active as heck and yeah you can cry about all the high school times but your gf is going to be active and become more and more involved with the club. Sorry to say, the sudden change in lifestyle, friends, schools will eventually phase you out.
The fact "oh, if i have sex because I was drunk, it'll mean nothing. ONLY A FUCKEN GIRL would say that shit. You would NEVER EVER hear a guy saying that and get away with this. Seriously, does ANYONE you know with a great bf/gf relationship ever say this to their sign. other?
Not saying it is impossible to work out but coming from me since I have been in this situation before, I would just dump her.
In 2 -4 weeks when you dump her, you'll see her going out with someone else. It's just reality. You'll soon realize you have made the right decision and it'll be your first time over a serious breakup.
In 4-6 months you'll let her go and finally realized moving on was the best option AND you'll become so much better in your dating experience. TRUST me on this.
If you don't, you'll end up in 4-6 months posting another break up thread on how ur girl changed so much because she changed so much.
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Hopefully it isn't game over
. It does sound like thats what going to happen, i'll eventually just be in the back of everything and she'll get caught up in everything else. Agree that stuff that she said is total BS. If it were the other way around and I told her that, I would've probably never heard the end of it.
I don't really want to dump her as I really do love her still
Thanks again everyone for taking the time to read and reply, getting a lot more insight on the situation and slowly being able to get a more...
EDIT:
Also that I don't really have a problem getting the clothes off and getting intimate (foreplay mostly), it's just after that she'll just abruptly stop it or tell me she doesn't want to do it. It's the whole "save it for marriage" and not wanting to give herself up yet. Just that we don't really have time/place to do that kind of stuff nowadays AND I think I MAY have been exageration a little when i said I was a 5 and she was an 11 haha. Probably I'm just a bit average and she's somewhat above average and you wouldn't really expect us to be together kind of thing.